CHAPTER 5
The clock read five in the morning but Kian was too excited to stay in bed. It was official, his senior year at the University of Tennessee was about to begin. Maybe one day soon he would find the confidence he’d been lacking since meeting Alec. Kian was about to finish the first leg of his future, one that he didn’t take lightly. If anything, it was driving him to do even better that year so there would be no reason for him not to get into graduate school.
Soon, he wouldn’t need to depend on others. It would all up to him.
His friends didn’t exactly share Kian’s enthusiasm for the day to begin. Not that they weren’t happy it would be their last year, but just like since their freshman year, they weren’t exactly morning people.
Jace came down to the kitchen with half-closed eyes begging for a cup of the coffee Kian had made while he dropped onto a barstool at the island as his backpack hit the floor at his feet. In seconds, Jace had crossed his arms on top of the counter and dropped his head down as if he were about to go back to sleep.
For someone who was known to always be in full makeup, Jace didn’t even have lip gloss on. At least, he was in one of his iconic pink short shorts and matching tank top. Neither covered much skin at all, not that Jace minded. In fact, after three years Jace had made it clear that if he didn’t show off the goods, how was he supposed to advertise his amazing body.
“Hey Barbie, is Kian…?” Kavi stepped closer when he saw Kian pouring Jace a cup of coffee. “So, have you pulled your head out of your ass yet and decided to finally talk to Alec?”
Thankfully, Lynwood stumbled into the kitchen also begging for coffee without bothering to read the room that Kavi had been talking. As much as Kian appreciated the reprieve, it had been a big mistake when it came to Kavi, who tended to believe the world revolved around him. Then again, between growing up filthy rich while dating the cornerback of the football team, who had the most interceptions of the entire defense combined, the focus most likely had always been on Kavi.
“Did you not hear me talking?” Kavi glared at Lynwood. “And what in the hell are you wearing? It is still August in Tennessee and you put on pants? Are you nuts?”
Technically, Kavi had a point, but Kian wasn’t certain it needed to have been said. They all knew after all the time they’d lived together, that Lynwood was under his parents’ thumb. If that meant wearing pants and a button up long-sleeved shirt, so be it.
Kavi shook his head and rolled his eyes as he turned back to Kian. “Next time you see Alec, you better agree to go out with that boy or you will regret it for the rest of your life.”
The thing was, Kian believed his friend was right. Ever since that stupid pool party, he’d regretted running without at least agreeing to go out with the sexy man who had Kian’s heart racing and his palms sweating.
Still, he wasn’t certain he could make that promise. Hell, he wasn’t exactly positive he’d be able to speak in front of Alec, much less agree to a date. Instead of answering his best friend, Kian handed Lynwood his coffee, grabbed his book bag for the two classes he had that morning and took off before Kavi could stop him.
When he entered the classroom, he stopped in his tracks to find the man he’d run from just a few days ago passing out what ended up being the syllabus for the class. Something they could have gotten online in that day and age. What in the heck was Alec doing there?
Ignoring the heat that was infusing his face at the moment, Kian sat down in the nearest seat and pretended to be more interested in getting out his book, notebook and pen than the fact that Alec was right there in front of his desk. If only Alec would just move on, it would have been a whole lot easier to do.
That he decided to speak to Kian made it a hundred times more challenging to pretend he wasn’t there. Kian really should have known luck wouldn’t have gone his way.
Alec leaned toward him. “I feel we got off on a bad foot.” Holding his hand out to him he continued, “Maybe we could start over. My name is Alec.”
Kian’s hand automatically went out to his. When their hands touched, that same spark of energy was there but that wasn’t what made him gasp. “Your hand.”
Alec pulled it back quickly. “I apologize if I made you uncomfortable at the pool,” Alec murmured so the others in the room wouldn’t hear him. “I promise to not ask you out again. But if you should ever want to accept, I’d be honored to take you out.”
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
He’d just been handed another opportunity to go out with Alec and he’d blown it - again. At that rate he would never find love. Not that he believed whatever was happening between them was anything close to love. Still, if he didn’t take a chance it would never happen.
He’d wanted to apologize for making things awkward but the professor chose that moment to come in to start class. Alec quickly passed out the rest of the syllabi before joining the professor at the front of class.
Kian had no clue what Alec’s field of study was, but Kian was taking one of the few electives he’d still needed and decided on a hiking class. Kian figured he could use some exercise three times a week as well as getting to know the surrounding mountains.
From what others had told him there were tons of trails nearby. To be honest, Kian had never really been that interested in hiking before, but there was something that had drawn him to the class as soon as he’d seen it, after his advisor had warned him he still needed another elective.
Concentrating on what was being said with Alec sitting right next to the professor was difficult. Actually, it was impossible, but Kian did his best to take notes anyway. Not that it had been necessary as everything the professor was discussing was in his syllabus. Like needing hiking boots as well as breaking them in well before their first trek. Bringing enough water and protein bars to keep hydrated and fueled.
Unable to stop his gaze from constantly landing on Alec, he kept blushing to discover those emerald eyes seemed to always be on him, making it impossible not to be caught each time he glanced Alec’s way. But it was difficult not to when the man continued to plague Kian’s dreams, both at night and during the day.
He didn’t understand any of it. Never had he been affected by anyone like he had with Alec. Maybe part of it had to with the fact that he’d never allowed anyone else to get too close.
All he knew was he needed to get away from Alec. It was the only way he was going to graduate. Prepared to bolt from the room the moment it ended, he hadn’t allowed Alec to come anywhere near him before he was out the door. The one thing Kian knew, he wasn’t about to tell his friends about any of what had just happened, or that Alec was apparently the TA.
On Wednesday, when he entered the class, he had his shields up, prepared to do whatever it took to avoid Alec. What he hadn’t expected was Alec never once looked his way. The pain that erupted in his chest caused Kian to feel the need to rub at the area over his heart.
Nor had he expected to wish like hell Alec would just look his way. What was wrong with him? It made no sense but Kian found himself wishing he could be closer to him. Halfway through the class, he’d almost managed to get the courage up to approach Alec after class, but that nerve disappeared as soon as class ended.
If he was honest, Kian no longer wanted to keep his distance, but he also had no idea how to talk to Alec. Especially if there was a date involved. If he couldn’t even say the words to agree to a date, how was he ever going to make conversation during dinner? That, in the end, was what had stopped him from heading to the front of the classroom and actually agreeing to going out with Alec.
It was depressing to realize after three years of spreading his wings, Kian was still a loser.
Which left him where?
As much as he hated admitting it, Kian needed to talk to his friends and figure out how to proceed. They would likely give him shit for chickening out yet again, but maybe they could help him find the strength of will to do what he wanted from the moment he’d bumped into Alec at the store – talk to him.
Not that he could do anything about it at the moment. First, he had to get to the library so he could reread the assignment for his civil engineering class. He had already done so twice, but he wanted it fresh in his mind before heading to class.
It still amazed him that he would graduate with his undergraduate degree at the end of the school year. A part of him wished that was all it would take to get a job instead of having to go to graduate school. Yet, at the same time, he was also glad he still had more time.
The thought of having to interview for such an important job scared him to death. He’d had jobs in the past, but it was like the one he’d had every school year, working in the cafeteria. Just something to help him make enough money to offset some of expenses school created.
But becoming a civil and environmental engineer was a career he considered too important to take lightly. He already knew he’d be a nervous wreck when he interviewed. As it was, he would need to go through a round of interviews for an internship next semester. Whenever he thought about it, Kian wanted nothing more than to throw up.
“Hey,” Alec stood there across the table from where Kian was reading the five chapters for his next class.
Like a deer in the headlights, Kian found himself staring at Alec. Worse, once again, he couldn’t find his voice. Each time he tried to make a sound, his mouth moved but nothing came out.
He hadn’t missed the way Alec’s lips had twitched as if he were trying to stop from smiling – or worse, laughing. “Promise, I come in peace. I get that you aren’t ready for a date with me, but I was hoping, maybe, we could become friends. Would you mind if I sat here with you?”
Kian had no idea what his face must have looked like but he damn well felt nothing but horror. When Alec ducked his head because he couldn’t stop the smile curving his lips or the slight chuckle, Kian knew every emotion must have shown on his face. Damn it.
What he hadn’t understood was that despite all of this, Alec sat down anyway. “While you decide, I’m going to start studying.” As he got his books out of his backpack, Alec asked, “Did you get your hiking boots yet? Just asking because it is extremely important to break them in before our first hike in two weeks.”
Thanks to Kavi’s help, Kian had his boots and he wore them each day. That first day he’d gotten a slight blister, so he’d made certain not to extend walking around the outside of their house yet. The last thing he wanted was to fail the class because a huge blister that wouldn’t allow him to join that hike. It wouldn’t be in his best interest.
What made him find his voice, Kian had no clue, but he managed to answer, “Yes. Which, by the way, do you have any hints on breaking them in? I only walked around the outside of the house once the first day and already started getting a blister. I keep doing it and the blister hasn’t increased but it also hasn’t gone away either. How do I increase the distance so I’m ready for that first hike?”
The brilliant smile Alec gave him sent Kian’s heart racing as they spent the next fifteen minutes discussing various techniques before going back to studying. It was the longest conversation he’d had with Alec. Then again, saying two words would have accomplished that.
By the time he headed off to class, Kian had to admit he was looking forward to seeing Alec again.