CHAPTER 23
There was no respite from the anguish Alec felt over leaving Kian. Even from this distance, he could feel his despair. Each night, Alec lay awake dreading the terror that would come to his mate as darkness fell. Longing to hold him, Alec’s emotions were out of control.
Because of his position as a Sentinel, Alec was expected to set an example to the others, but how could he? Instead, he trained for hours each day, taking his frustration out on anyone willing to face him. His father had tried many times to talk to him but each time they ended up arguing.
Prowling the halls of their mountain home, Alec was in search of another opponent. When he’d first returned, everyone lined up to face him. A bloody trail of opponents had stopped anyone from volunteering. He was ruthless, giving no quarter to those who faced him as he took his frustration and pain out on his rivals.
It was the only way for him to survive the torment Kian went through every night. It was getting late and if Alec didn’t find someone to fight soon, he didn’t think he’d be able to stop himself from going to Kian, laws be damned.
“Alec.” His father stood in the doorway of the training room. “I will fight you.”
Since getting back, he’d stayed away from the man who forced him home, but now a slight smile formed - Alec would be able to punish his father. Irrationally, he blamed his father for taking him away from the love of his life. It might have been their laws and the Council’s decision, but he held the man who’d raised him responsible.
Swords in hand, they circled each other. Under normal circumstances, the two of them in the fighting ring would have brought a crowd no matter the time of day. But tonight, unbeknownst to Alec, his father had sealed the viewing rooms. No one would be allowed to watch them battle.
Tarak had seen his only son’s torment and feared for his sanity. Alec was sure the only reason he’d been given as much leeway for his behavior as he had was because his father was the leader of the Sentinels. Anyone else most likely would have been punished, even killed for his actions.
Although, truth be told, Tarak wasn’t the only reason the Council didn’t act. The very fact that Alec was a Sentinel meant something in their world. Not even the Council had a say in who became one of their elite fighting forces. Still, if he was considered a threat to their way of life, nothing would stop the Council from voting for his death.
Half hour into the fighting Alec, felt the first whimper of fear. The nightmare was starting. Kian’s desperation and distress gradually turned into mind numbing terror. Each scream torn from his throat clawed into Alec, burying deep inside his very soul, if he had one. His fighting became more intense, determined to strike down the man guilty for not allowing him to hold his lover.
Alec’s blows escalated in rhythm to the nightmare. Each opening his father left, Alec exploited until the older man was panting with exertion. Alec, on the other hand, wasn’t even breathing hard. All he knew was Kian’s pain, spurring him on with a vengeance. If it meant giving Kian a moment of peace, Alec would have killed anyone or anything in his path, even the man who raised him.
Tarak fell to his knees, unable to stand from the onslaught of blows. Alec continued attacking him. Then Kian’s screams ricocheted in his head, dropping Alec to his knees. With his head clenched in his hands, Alec willed him to wake up. He didn’t even notice his father anymore.
Then Tarak was there, kneeling in front of Alec. A hand squeezed Alec’s shoulder in an effort to offer him comfort. Alec flinched at the contact, his head snapping up, eyes filled with torment.
“Do not touch me,” he spat out. “Kian’s in pain and there is nothing I can do about it.” Seething with anger, he pushed himself off the ground.
His father didn’t bother trying to get up. He stared at his only child with resignation. Tarak did the only thing he could to help his son. “Go to him,” he said. The consequences would be severe, but anything was better than this.
Alec didn’t waste a second, he was gone. He knew his father would have to go to the Council, but it didn’t matter. Alec would rather die than live through Kian’s torment for another day.
Ear piercing screams rent the night, finally jolting Kian out of his nightmare. Thankfully, he was alone in the house as everyone went home for winter break. Everyone, except Kian. He usually spent it with Kavi, but he wasn’t about to put anyone through his pain, if he could help it.
Slowly climbing off the bed, he pulled on a robe before heading to the window, staring out at the black night. It looked bleak and void of life – fitting - as he felt the same. Glancing back at the clock, 2 a.m., it was Christmas.
There was no point in trying to go back to bed after the last nightmare, for sleep would never come. Dark circles were constantly under his eyes from exhaustion. He slept at most two or three hours before the nightmares would start. After that, he couldn’t stand to live through them again and refused to lie back down.
Going downstairs, he decided to put in a movie from one of the many streaming services Kavi’s parents had paid for. First, he went into the kitchen to put a bag of popcorn in the microwave.
Dumping the popcorn into a bowl, he carried it and a bottle of water into the living room and picked up the remote. Choosing a comedy, Kian willed himself to get lost in the movie but he already knew it wouldn’t work. How was he supposed to concentrate on what was on TV when his brain continued to run a constant loop of his time with Alec? Each minute, each discussion, each fight played like the film he was watching.
Frustrated, he just stared at the screen as he lost himself in the memories. A slight breeze stirred his hair and he stilled, heart skipping a beat. Heat spread through him, wrapping him in its warm embrace. Tensing, he called out, “Alec?”
As if his greatest wish had been granted, Alec materialized beside him on the couch, smiling. Seconds later, his arms crushed Kian against him. His breath caught in his throat. “If this is a dream, don’t wake me up.”
His laughter was music to his ears. “This is not a dream.” Pulling him back, he drank him in.
His eyes were like emeralds, hypnotizing Kian. Unable to think clearly, he shook his head to try and focus. “But how?” Still tongue-tied, he couldn’t get the whole question out.
“My father.” Not elaborating, Alec kissed him…No, consumed him.
When he pulled away, Kian tried to follow. Firmly, Alec’s hands held him at bay. Baffled to no longer be in those strong arms when all he wanted to do was sink further into him, Kian asked, “What’s wrong?”
Alec’s features were set, determined. “Kian, we need to talk.”
Afraid to move, he stilled. Whatever Alec had to say, Kian could tell it was something he didn’t want to hear. Various plans raced through his mind as he tried to find a way to stop whatever Alec was about to say.
Instincts yelled to run, so he did. In a flash, he rushed from the room, running up the stairs. The moment he reached the bedroom, he slammed the door shut, locking it. Leaning heavily against it – too afraid to face Alec and whatever he came to tell him. Warmth once again slid over him like a soft blanket as Alec appeared.
The feel of his finger and thumb taking hold of his chin was both a dream come true and curse as he forced Kian to look at him. To face Alec when every fiber of his being wanted to hide.
“I am a demon, remember?” He reminded. “A door will not stop me.”
Misery filled Kian. “If you’re here to tell me you can never see me again…” his voice wavered. “I don’t want to hear it,” he said meekly.
A small turn of Alec’s lips showed his amusement. “It amazes me how your brain works. Do you really think I would come back here to tell you I am leaving you again?”
Kian closed his eyes as Alec’s warmth soothed his frayed nerves. The constant nightmares and sleepless nights caught up to him as exhaustion took over. Wobbly legs were no longer able to hold him as he started to sink to the floor. He was too weak to stop.
Alec’s strong arms wrapped around him before lifting him and placing Kian in bed. “You need your sleep. We can talk later.”
He was too tired to argue, even if the need to know why Alec was there was imperative. But try as he might, there was no way to force his heavy lids to open.
“Promise me you won’t leave,” he managed to mumble.
If he answered, Kian wasn’t sure. All he knew was Alec had climbed onto the bed and snuggled behind him, exactly where he belonged. Seconds later, his brain shut off as he drifted off to sleep.
A deep, dreamless sleep.