Page 98 of The Dead Ex

‘I wouldn’t do that if I were you,’ saidJackie. I’d asked her to come along with me from the old prison along with Frances, another high-ranking prison officer whom I trusted.

‘No point in hiding anything,’ I said. ‘I’d rather embarrass them than pretend it hadn’t happened.’

Besides, I wasn’t there to be popular. I was there to do a fair job. All too often I’d seen prison staff flaunt their power and sometimes abuse it. It was a crowdmentality thing: only a few had to do it before others followed suit. It was why I’d initiated an investigation into two officers who had punched an inmate in ‘self-defence’, even though his cellmate swore it was because they’d demanded his cigarettes and he’d refused to hand them over.

But the most important achievement in these prison changes was my appointment of Patrick Miles as the psychologist.

He’d stood out amongst the applicants not just because of his credentials but because of his empathy. ‘The bond between mother and baby is stronger than any other,’ he’d told me during his interview. ‘It’s inhuman to break it and then expect both to carry on as though they had never been joined together.’

‘Is it possible for the mother to cope?’ I asked.

‘Yes, but only with the right counsellingand care.’ Then, to my embarrassment, he’d glanced at my left hand.

‘I don’t have children myself,’ I said quickly, checking his CV.Marital status: single.

I took a deep breath. ‘I knew a woman who hangedherself because she couldn’t face being separated from her toddler.’

He nodded. ‘I read about that. In your last prison, wasn’t it? A Samantha Taylor?’

So he’d done his homework.

‘She hadno one to talk to?’ he asked.

‘Just the other women.’

He shook his head. It was a kind face, I thought, with lines around those dark brown eyes which might have come from laughter or sadness. Then he ran a hand through his short black curly hair as if expressing frustration. ‘They can do more harm than good. Where I worked before, there was great jealousy amongst mothers who were about to losetheir children and those who still had some months to go. We will have to be very careful.’

‘You speak as though you have already got the job.’

‘I apologize.’ He spread out his hands. His nails were neatly clipped, I noticed. ‘I am, as usual, being carried away by my enthusiasm.’

It was catching. As I found out to my cost.

36

Helen

5 January 2018

I didn’t see much of David last month because he was away on business in the States and then apparently he took his wife to the Maldives for Christmas. My own Christmas was busy with family stuff. One of the geeks from the IT department at work asked me to a New Year party, but I told him I was already going out with a friend. The truth was that I needed to think.

David’sabsence made me nervous. There was still so much I needed to do. It was like letting a slippery fish off the hook, hoping that it would come back so I could finish the job.

When he did return a few days ago, he was cool with me, declaring that I would have to do some general admin ‘as well as taking those pictures of yours’ in order to pull my weight.

I hoped it was part of an act, especiallyas he’d said it again yesterday in front of Posh Perdita. But what if he’s genuinely lost interest? Supposing Tanya has lured him back?

This morning, though, in the Ladies, I heard some of the girls talking. ‘Boss is in a bad mood. Sounds like he’s had another bust-up with the wife, judging from his manner on the phone to her. I had to go into his office with something and caught the tail endof it.’

My heart skipped.

So it wasn’t totally unexpected when, shortly afterwards, he came into my office, where I was captioning some of my photographs. ‘Thought I’d see how you’re getting on,’ he said loudly, before shutting the door behind him. I carried on working. Within seconds I could feel his fingers massaging my shoulder blades from behind.

I stood up and opened the door. ‘Mind ifwe keep this open? It’s quite hot in here.’

The disappointment on his face was suitably gratifying.

‘I’m only being careful,’ I whispered, ‘like you said before.’