Page 46 of The Dead Ex

‘She’ll be here soon,’ said Camilla, patting the seat next to her. ‘Let’s just sit for a bit. Look, there are some children’s books for you to read.’

They waited for what seemed like ages as lots of families came and sat at the other tables. Then all these womenwearing bright blue tabards came out to talk to them. It was to show they were prisoners, Camilla explained. The long clock hand on the wall went halfway round but still Mum didn’t come. ‘It is a bit odd. Let me have a word.’

Scarlet watched her go up to one of the uniforms, aware of a woman with round gold earrings at the next table who kept staring at her. At last Camilla came back.

‘Yourmum – well, she had a bit of an accident this morning, and it’s made her late. But she’ll be here quite soon and …’

‘SCARLET!’

The voice sounded like Mum. But the face wasn’t right. Her lovely long blonde hair was shorter, and there was a big bruise on her eye. Scarlet hurled herself at her. Mum didn’t smell the same, yet her warm hug was exactly as Scarlet remembered. She had a blue tabardlike the others.

‘I’ve missed you so much.’ Tears were streaming down Mum’s face as she knelt in front of her. ‘I told them it wasn’t my fault, but they won’t believe me. You have to know that your mummy isn’t a bad person. I can’t sleep at night without you. I can’t eat. The women here are nasty to me. Look.’ She pointed to the bruise which was blue and purple. ‘They did this.’

‘Shhhh.’ Scarletpatted her mother’s back in reassurance, just like she did at home when the water went coldbecause they hadn’t paid the bill or when there wasn’t anything to eat. ‘It will be all right.’

‘How can it be?’ Mum’s eyes were bright and angry. ‘I can’t breathe without you, baby. I don’t know how I’m going to manage in this shithole of a place. My cellmate pisses herself because she can’t hold it in.It’s inhuman.’

‘You’re upsetting your daughter,’ interrupted Camilla, who had been standing near them. ‘Please calm down.’

‘How fucking dare you tell me how to behave with my own child? Who are you, anyway?’

‘Her social worker.’ Camilla was folding her arms, but she seemed a bit nervous. ‘We’re responsible for Scarlet’s wellbeing. Are you aware that she’s committed a shoplifting offence? Ifshe’d been older, she could have been in serious trouble.’

‘Bollocks. My daughter wouldn’t do anything wrong. She’s a good girl. Like me.’

‘TIME,’ said one of the men in uniform in a loud voice.

‘NO!’ Mum howled. ‘I’ve only just got here.’

‘That’s your fault for being late.’

‘I was in the fucking nurse’s room, wasn’t I? Getting this sorted out.’

Scarlet leaned forward and stroked the bruise.‘All better now.’

‘You let her treat you as though you are the child,’ Camilla murmured.

‘I need to look after Mum,’ said Scarlet proudly. ‘It’s my job.’

The other blue women were queuing up at the door. ‘TIME!’

Mum was gripping her arm so tightly that it hurt. But one of the officers was pulling her.

‘SCARLET! SCARLET!’

‘Please don’t take my mum away,’ she cried.

Mum was being draggedout of the door. ‘Don’t you dare try to bite me,’ shouted one of the uniforms, ‘or you’ll go straight to solitary.’

‘GIVE ME BACK MY LITTLE GIRL.’

The door slammed shut. She’d gone. Again.

Recipe for loneliness: two drops of bergamot and three drops of clary sage.

But it isn’t working for me right now. My bed still feels empty. Cold. I try to lie diagonally to take up the space, yet it’s not the same.

I used to love watching David sleep. He looked like a little boy. So vulnerable. Cheeky too. Sometimes he used to talk, but it was hard to make out the words.