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They slept under Hollis’s roof, curled up on the floor in the living room. Even though Yulia and Annie could have easily gone next door and shared Annie’s giant soft bed.

For all that Yulia was still not exactly satisfied, she still fell asleep quickly. Hollis was glad she was comfortable enough to let them watch over her.

Annie lay between them, bundled up in the blanket from Hollis’s bed. It was too quiet for her to be asleep. Hollis knew her snores too well.

“Hollis,” she whispered, turning over.

“Hmm?”

“Can I ask you something?”

Hollis scooted closer so Annie could talk even quieter. Shimmying down until his forehead was near Annie’s shoulder and their breath was blocked out by the folds of their covers.

“Do you still like-like me?”

There was a thrum of terror in Hollis’s chest, but it didn’t belong to him. Walt was quiet and heavy, watching. Insecure.

“Is it important to you that I do?” Hollis asked, instead of answering. “Does it mean something if I don’t? It doesn’t mean I don’t love you anymore.”

Annie’s brown eyes were black in the dark.

“What did it feel like?”

“Liking you? Frustrating,” Hollis said immediately.

“No, I mean what did it feel like?” Annie insisted.

Oh.

“To like-like anyone?” Hollis whispered. “God, Annie, what a question. Um. It’s like... Everything feels high stakes. When you see them, if they’re going to text you back, what you’re wearing around them, how you act. It’s exciting but scary at the same time, and whatever they do can shift your mood really fast. Some people feel it more in their stomach, the nervousness. Some people feel it in their chest. But when they’re nice to you, or smile, it’s like... ten birthdays all at once.”

“I made you feel like that?” Annie said, quiet and mournful.

Hollis shrugged. “Yeah.”

Annie sniffled, and Hollis pressed their head against her shoulder.

“It’s fine to not know. It... definitely puts some things you’ve done into perspective. But you didn’t hurt my feelings or anything, I could have said something about it at any time. I just liked being your friend, most of all.”

“Is Walt listening?” she said, so small Hollis almost didn’t hear.

“He’s always listening, did you want to talk to him or—?”

“No. It’s... you used to make this face at me. Your eyes would get kind of... soft, and you looked like you weren’t sure whether to smile or frown.”

“Wistful?”

“Something like that. You used to do it all the time, you did it for years, and then you did it less and less and then, eventually, you stopped.”

“I’m sorry,” Hollis said.

“No, it’s not that, it just...” Annie burrowed even closer, spoke even quieter. “You started doing it again, but not at me. You do it when you think you’re alone, and I wasn’t sure what to make of it. What should I make of it, Hollis?”

Hollis stared into the darkness between them.

“Don’t tell Yulia.”

Annie closed her eyes.

“I won’t,” she said. “The whole time I’ve known you, you’ve liked dangerous things.”

Walt flinched, and Hollis didn’t like that.

He rolled over onto his back, curled his arms behind his head, and decided to be kind instead of nice for the first time in ages.

“I won’t tell her either.”

“What?”

“Yulia. I won’t tell her about the way you feel. But you should, Annie. We have five months left until graduation. You’re brave enough. Make them matter.”