Page 116

How come it didn’t feel that way the first night, when I bruised us?

We are sharing, always. But I took it in, so you wouldn’t have to feel it. I pretended, for your sake, that it didn’t hurt to hold all of it.

Don’t hide it from me like that ever again.

Why?

How can I take care of you if you don’t let me know when you’re hurting?

It wasn’t fair. I couldn’t take away your chance to be angry. You deserved to be angry.

I can be angry, and worried. I can be angry and care about you too.

Walt made a wounded sound, deep in Hollis’s throat, and buried their face in the sheets.

I didn’t know you were going to be like this. I didn’t know this would happen. I wouldn’t have... I wish I could...

Quieter, like it wasn’t intended for Hollis to hear, he said, Forgive me, God, come to my assistance; Lord, make haste to help me.

Hollis laughed.

I’m wicked enough for prayer? What’s the rest?

Don’t mock me Hollis. Not now, when I feel so small.

Let them be confounded and ashamed that seek my soul. Let them be turned backward and blush for shame, that desire evils to me. Let them be presently turned away, blushing for shame, that desire evils to me. Let all that seek thee rejoice and be glad in thee. And let such as love thy salvation say always:

The Lord be magnified.

But I am needy and poor: Help me.

Hollis put a hand to their face through the sheets, brushed a thumb over their cheekbone, tender and cruel.

Thou art my helper and my deliverer: Lord, make no delay.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost.

As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end.