Page 4

HOLT

Out of nervous habit, I scroll through my camera roll, torturing myself with images of Merit.

Smiling, laughing, happy Merit.

Sexy Merit.

My Merit.

“You ready for this?” Ridge asks. He catches a glance of my phone before I pocket it. “You talk to her yet?”

He knows the damn answer. He knows I would’ve told him if I had talked to her. “You know the answer to that.”

He folds his arms across his chest. “You’re such an idiot. What are you waiting for?”

He’s right; I’m an idiot. I should’ve called her the day—months ago—when Crutch first tracked down her new cell phone number for me.

Fuck that, I should’ve burned up the roads and driven to the farm like a bat out of hell the second they cut off my ankle monitor.

But I didn’t.

I nod to the people setting up the cameras and interview area on Crutch and Ella’s patio. The TV people decided to use the pond as the background. We’re just waiting on the sun to set behind the trees.

“You think that’s magically gonna make it easier?” he asks.

And of course, I know the answer to that one…nope. Not one damn thing about talking to Merit will be easy, but maybe—just maybe—seeing this will help.

Just maybe.

It’s been nearly five months since I’ve seen her.

One-hundred-and-forty-two days, if anyone is counting.

One-hundred-and-forty-two days since…

I accused her of setting me up.

I cast her out of my life.

I hugged her.

I kissed her.

Since I became the biggest asshole to ever walk the face of the Earth.

And I wouldn’t be walking around at all if weren’t for her. I’d be rotting in a jail cell.

Her lead about Delaney blew the case wide open. So much has happened in the two-and-a-half months since she gave Delaney’s cell phone to Ella and Crutch. She saved my life.

She saved my life.

And I treated her like a piece of garbage.

Ridge grunts, waiting on my answer.

I shrug. “Ella said they’re airing the interview Thursday night during primetime. It’ll be one of the quickest turnarounds ever. I even saw an ad for it today. Maybe she’ll watch it and…” I can’t even finish my pathetic thought.

“And what?”

“Be a better person than me,” I say with a sigh.

He claps me on the shoulder, falling on his best friend sword and trying to comfort me. “You’re a good person, Holt. You were just under an extreme amount of stress, and your mind ran wild when those suggestions were thrown out there.” He leans against the porch railing. “You have to look at the blessing behind it.”

“There’s a blessing to calling the love of my life a lying, criminal, gold-digger?”

“What happened between y’all made her leave town. She never would’ve gone to her ex-husband’s house if she weren’t leaving town. And if she never went to her ex-husband’s house, she never would’ve seen that Delaney changed the alarm code to match yours.”

I can’t believe she left town.

She closed her store, left town, and I never even called her.

I feel like gutting myself with a fishing knife.

Ella eases out the front door, her gaze flickering back and forth between me and Ridge. “So, you ready for this?”

I snort. “I don’t know. Am I?”

“You’ll be fine. I picked Alaina because she’s trustworthy. I’ve worked with her on several projects, and she’s never been anything but professional. She tries to stay away from angles and just report on the truth. Her sister was a victim of violence. She really wants to bring justice to those who deserve it.”

“I still don’t understand how it’s airing on so many channels at one time?” I say, turning my statement into a question.

“Her show airs on the true crime channel on cable TV. But that’s just one of the channels owned by the same parent company. She worked out a deal for a simulcast. That’s why it’s playing on one of the Big 5 networks, at the same time. She’s retaining all of the production rights, though. So, the true crime channel will be the only one showing re-runs of the interview.”

“Re-runs. Yay,” I deadpan. “There’s nothing I’d like more than to keep reliving this nightmare for all eternity.”

She smiles. “Each day is getting better. Just focus on that.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry for being ungrateful. I have to remember that I could be sitting in a cement cell.” We watch as Crutch motions for us to come down to the patio. “Thanks for letting me do this here. I just couldn’t stand the thought of the world seeing images of my home, my yard.”

“Crutch’s idea of doing it outside is perfect. With the backdrop of the pond, you could be anywhere,” Ridge adds.

When I walk past Chloe, she gives me an encouraging wink.

When everything started winding down and the idea of a Redemption Interview came up, I put Ella in charge of it. This is her world, and I knew she would do right by me—just as she always does. It was her idea to introduce Chloe and Alaina Ontario. When going through Merit’s phone, we saw Chloe’s warning to her. Her warning to always say ‘no comment’ and ignore all reporters, even herself. It was a pretty-high class move. Fortunately, Chloe and Alaina hit it off, and Chloe was able to get out from under the pull of the tabloid scene.

Alaina Ontario, with her news anchor good-looks and gleaming white teeth, leans over and motions for me to sit down. “I’m sure I don’t have to explain everything to you, Holt. You’ve probably given more interviews than me,” she says with a chuckle.

True, but I’ve never been this damn nervous about one.

She turns to Crutch and Ella. “Thank you again for letting me use your home, Ella. We’ve always worked so well together, and I’m honored that you would think of me for this opportunity.” She turns back to me, “Thank you, Holt, for giving me a chance to tell your story. To tell the truth. I want you to know that I will do right by you. You have my word.”

I tug on my collar, hoping I’m not digging myself a deeper grave.

Because it feels like I’m already six feet under without Merit by my side.

The questions start easy enough. We talk about my childhood, my family, football. All things I could talk about for days. When the questions shift to my arrest, my jaw clenches. I try to take Ella’s advice and take a deep breath before each answer, giving myself time to prepare and formulate a proper response. That’s never something I had to do with my football interviews. The press asked a question; I answered. Boom. Boom. Boom. Simple and sweet. But those interviews didn’t have as much riding on the line as this one does.

She wants me to talk about my days in jail. I do my best to describe my fear and terror without sounding like a complete pussy. We talk about the allegations and my bail hearing and how the first attorney wanted me to plead guilty and take a deal.

She shuffles her notes with grace, putting on a perfect show for the camera. “It’s fairly common knowledge that you have a very close relationship with your family and a very small circle of friends. Those closest to you became your biggest advocates after your arrest, declaring your innocence. Their unwavering faith must have given you some comfort?”

My gaze sweeps across Ella, Crutch, and Ridge. “I wouldn’t have survived the last few months without them. Blessed doesn’t even come close to describing it.”

“And one of your biggest supporters has been your girlfriend, Merit.”

Just hearing her name squeezes my heart with painful regret. “She’s the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.”

Alaina gives a breathy little chuckle. “I should say so. From what I understand, she took it upon herself to do a little sleuthing and cracked the case wide open.”

“She did. I wouldn’t be sitting here today if it weren’t for her. She…she’s given me my life back.”

“So, one girlfriend helped turn the page of the investigation, and it flipped right on over to another girlfriend—an ex-girlfriend, actually. Tell me about Delaney Fitts.”

My hands grip together, turning my knuckles white. Every time I talk about Delaney, I feel like cutting my tongue out. I rush the background story of our relationship and breakup, pausing only to answer the other questions that Alaina lobs along the way.

“So, we fast-forward to the end of last summer, and Delaney, who happens to be in a relationship with Merit’s ex-husband, famed attorney Edward Ezzell, discovers that you and Merit are dating?”

I would never characterize Edward as famed , but still, I nod. “Yes, that’s right.”

“And Delaney does what? Hatches a plan to ruin your life?”

“Basically. Yes.”

“Tell me about that.”

“After I ended things with Delaney, she moved back here, back to Alabama. She briefly dated a Minor League baseball player who had hopes of making it to the majors. That pipedream ended when he was injured.”

“And that baseball player was…” Alaina falls in sync with my story.

“Trenton Trevors. And he has a niece—Heidi Trevors.”

“The very same Heidi Trevors who claimed the two of you had a sexual relationship? The same Heidi Trevors with whom you allegedly shared thousands of explicit text messages and phone calls?”

“Yes, the very same girl.”

She lifts her chin and smirks. “Coincidence?”

“Nothing is a coincidence when Delaney is involved.” I pause, waiting for her to nod, urging me to continue. “On occasion, Delaney would judge cheerleading competitions. One of those competitions occurred just shortly after Delaney discovered Merit and I were dating. Heidi was a spectator at the cheer competition, and when Delaney realized she attended the same high school where I taught and coached, she sought her out, under the guise of simply wanting to reconnect. You know, since they hadn’t seen one another since Delaney’s relationship with Trenton ended. Delaney immediately began enticing her to frame me. She groomed her. With money and friendship.”

“And how did they frame you?”

I roll my shoulders, trying to stretch my tense muscles. I can’t wait for this to be over. “It’s what you would call a long-con, I guess. It started one night after a football game when Heidi claimed her car wouldn’t start, and she asked me for a ride home. After receiving permission from Denise, Heidi’s mother, I drove her home. Delaney knew that Merit was looking to hire some part-time help at the store she owned. On that drive, Heidi told me she had just lost her job. She cried and told me how badly she needed a job to save money for the future.” I sigh, shifting my suit jacket. “Well, I felt like fate was smiling down on me when she said that. Merit thought she had someone lined up for the job, but that had just fallen through. Come to find out, Delaney even had a hand in that. She convinced the young woman’s current employer to give her a raise in order to keep her from going to work for Merit.”

Alaina drops her mouth in shock, even though she isn’t shocked. This isn’t news to her.

I simply clear my throat and continue. “Like a fool, I basically offered Heidi a job at Merit’s store, right then and there. That’s all it took.”

“Meaning?”

“I did exactly what Delaney and Heidi and Denise all wanted. I paved a way for Heidi to be in our lives nearly every single day. Within hours of that car ride, they were already framing me as a sexual predator.”

“Within hours?”

I nod. “Hours.”

“What did they do?”

“They faked text messages and phone calls between Heidi and myself.”

“Faked them how? Spoofing?”

She already knows the answer. She knows all the answers. But the world doesn’t. Once it came out that I was innocent, the majority of news outlets didn’t even cover the story anymore. They knew their ratings came from me being the bad guy. Not the good guy.

After all, you know what they say… bad news travels faster.

“No, nothing was spoofed. The sexually explicit text messages came from my physical phone. The hour-long phone conversations happened in real time.”

“And you weren’t involved in any of that—the messages, the phone calls, the secret meetings?”

A low grumble rolls in my chest, like thunder in the distance. “Absolutely not. I never sent one single text message to Heidi. I never called her. I never had any secret rendezvous with her. Nothing remotely sexual ever happened between the two of us.” I cock my head. “And just to throw it out there, for the sickos who still have reservations about me… I never even had a sexual thought about Heidi. None. I have never had any inappropriate thought about a child—and never will.”

She leans forward in her seat. Her diamond and gold bracelets jangle. “So, how did the messages end up on your phone?”

“Delaney broke into my house and sent them from my cell phone.”

Alaina lifts her eyebrows like she’s finding this out for the first time. “Really?”

“For years I used the same alarm code for my home—no matter where I lived. Delaney knew the code from the brief time she lived with me in North Carolina. When I purchased my home here, I changed the alarm code to match. Not only did the code work the alarm, but it also unlocked all the doors. It was a keyless entry system. Delaney snuck into my home nearly every single night for three months. She’s the one who sent the text messages and made the phone calls in the middle of the night.”

Alaina leans back in her chair, re-crossing her legs, staring at me in disbelief. I have to give it to her; she definitely knows how to work a camera. “You had no idea she was breaking into your home? Nearly every night? For three whole months?”

“I’m embarrassed to admit that at the time, my home was very light on security. Needless to say, that issue has been remedied. To the extreme.” I lower my voice and eye the camera with a hard gaze, trying to convey that my house is locked up tighter than Fort Knox. I don’t need any wackadoo fuckers out in TV land trying to recreate this sensational crime.

“Didn’t you hear her? Walking into your room and grabbing your phone?”

I shake my head. “My phone was never beside me. I always slept with my phone outside of the bedroom, and I slept with the bedroom door closed. Plus, I’m a very hard sleeper. It comes with the territory when you’re trying to sleep at a football camp next to a three-hundred-pound linebacker with a grass turf allergy.”

“And Delaney knew all of that?” she asks. “That you slept without your phone in the room? And with the bedroom door closed?” She extends her hand in my direction, kickstarting my explanation with her own words. “You had those same habits during the time you and Delaney lived together?”

Just thinking about living with Delaney—willingly allowing her into my life, into my bedroom—makes me wanna carve those memories from my brain with a sharp hunting knife.

Fuck that. I deserve to feel the pain.

I should use a rusty, dull pair of fingernail clippers, instead.

I work to clear my throat. “Yes. Those habits started when I was growing up.” I offer a small smile. “You know, back when your parents want to monitor your screen time.”

Alaina gives a soft chuckle. “I know that all too well.” Pressing her lips together, she works her lipstick for a second before sobering her face again. “And you didn’t hear anything? No noises in the night?”

“There were a couple of times when something felt…off. Like if I woke up to use the restroom, I might’ve heard a little noise or something like that. But there was never anything to indicate someone was inside my home, walking around and framing me as a child predator, no.”

“Didn’t you see the messages or call history on your phone?”

“Before leaving, Delaney would delete all the messages on my end. She also erased the calls from my call history. I mean, I didn’t even have Heidi’s phone number as a saved contact.”

She nods, gifting me and the camera with a wry grin. “It’s a pretty fantastical story. It’s hard for the average person to wrap their head around this.”

“It’s hard for me to wrap my head around it, Alaina.”

“So, Delaney would send messages to Heidi in the middle of the night, and Heidi would respond back. They would do this for an hour—two hours—even?”

“Sometimes, it was Heidi texting back and sometimes it was her mother, Denise.”

“So, Denise Trevors condoned this behavior? Condoned this toxic and criminal relationship between her daughter and Delaney Fitts?”

“Condoned it? She encouraged it. Denise and Heidi received nearly $75,000 from Delaney over those months.”

“My goodness.”

“Yeah. It wasn’t even Delaney’s money that she bribed them with. Delaney stole money from her father’s account and Edward Ezzell’s account.”

“Speaking of Edward Ezzell, he and Delaney were residing together during this time. Didn’t he realize that she was leaving his house for hours at a time during the middle of the night?”

I clear my throat, biting back a cynical chuckle. “From what I hear, he snores. Rather loudly. So, separate bedrooms were a part of their routine.”

Once again, Alaina politely laughs, taking a brief pause, before steering the interview back on course. “So how was this discovered? How did you find out what they were doing to you?”

“A tip from Merit lead to a search warrant for Delaney’s phone and a subpoena for all of her phone records. The proof was there. Just like there were thousands of text messages and phone calls between me ,” I say with air quotes, “and Heidi; there were thousands of text messages and phone calls between Delaney and Heidi. And Delaney and Denise. They talked about everything. How they were framing me. How Delaney wanted me to pay for breaking her heart. They discussed the money transfers Delaney made. They talked about anything and everything.”

“How did the police not know this? Didn’t they review all of Heidi’s phone records when investigating you? Her cloud storage?”

“Yes, but Delaney gave burner phones to Heidi and Denise. She only contacted them—as herself—on those devices.” I shrug, “Of course, she just wasn’t smart enough to use a burner phone herself.”

We spend a few more minutes talking about the ins-and-outs of the hoax. The hoax that nearly ruined my life. Well, partly ruined it…

Because Merit’s not here. My world won’t be right until she’s back by my side.

And I have a feeling I’m going to have to work my ass off to make that happen. That is, if she’ll even consider forgiving me.

Well, she has to consider it. I’m not taking no for an answer.

Because she’s my lifeline to this universe. Without Merit, there’s no sun or moon or stars. The galaxy is nothing more than a black void, filled with emptiness and despair.

She’s my best friend, my partner, my wife.

She just doesn’t know it, yet, of course. And she doesn’t know it because I was a fucking shithead and derailed our picture-perfect future. If I’m being completely honest, I more than derailed it…I blasted that freight train with a nuclear bomb. Because I did the worst thing anyone could ever do—I accused her of lying and manipulating our relationship, when nothing but truth and love poured from her soul every single second of every single day.

So, I’ll do whatever I have to do to earn her forgiveness and her trust.

Because I’m gonna grow old with that woman by my side.

I refuse to acknowledge any other outcome for our lives.

“And they’ve all pleaded guilty, correct?” Alaina’s voice draws me out of my torrent of emotions.

“Heidi and Denise pleaded guilty, and they have been sentenced. Delaney pleaded no contest yesterday. She’s scheduled to be sentenced sometime in July.”

“How do you feel about that?”

“I’m very thankful there won’t be a trial. Since the truth was discovered, everything has happened at breakneck speed, and I couldn’t be more grateful to my team of attorneys, the DA’s office, the local courts, and all of the officers working on the case.”

“In talking to your attorneys and the DA, they all said you championed for Heidi’s charges to be reduced to misdemeanors. She was sentenced to five years’ probation and three-hundred hours of community service. She’ll also live in a juvenile residence that specializes in therapy for traumatized youth until she reaches the age of nineteen. From what I understand, it’s a state-of-the-art facility.”

I nod, taking time to breathe and swallow. “Heidi fully cooperated with police when the information was found on Delaney’s phone. She told them everything.” I glance down at the ground, gathering my thoughts. “She was manipulated by her mother and Delaney. Don’t get me wrong, I’m angry with her. I’m very angry. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive her. But she’s seventeen years old. She’s a kid who was exploited and preyed upon. She deserves to have a chance to heal her damaged life, her damaged way of thinking. She deserves to be happy one day. Going to prison won’t allow her to do any of those things.”

“And Denise was sentenced to three years in prison. She also has to register as a sex offender for her role in facilitating the text messages, which included nude photos of her daughter.” Alaina softly sighs. “What are your thoughts on Delaney’s punishment? I’ve heard she could be sentenced anywhere from five to twenty years.”

I should feel some sort of sympathy. I dated the woman. Lived with her. Slept with her. But my sympathy for Delaney ran out a long time ago. A deep-seated desire for revenge claws at my heart. Dirty, nasty, painful revenge. I do my best to lock it inside and throw away the key. “I’ll leave that to the courts. I’ll have to trust their decision. I’m human. That inherit need for vengeance will grow and thrive like a malignancy if I let it. I can’t let it. It’s already taken enough of my life.”

“It has. Hasn’t it?” She pretends to look at her notes. “Let’s talk about that a little bit. Your home was vandalized?”

I nod. “Before we added additional security measures, yes.”

“What else?”

With every word, my heart beats a little louder, a little harder. “It wasn’t just my house; it happened to all of my family.” I look at the pond, watching as the reflection of the moon bounces off it. “Someone slit my mom’s tires when she was at the grocery store.” I take a breath. “My best friend is a firefighter. Someone wouldn’t let him inside of their burning house to help put out a fire.” My throat clenches. “My nephew got into a fight at school trying to defend my honor.” I know Nate’s not really my nephew, but in my heart he is. And that black eye fucking gutted me.

“Not to mention the money you’ve spent on attorneys’ fees and your defense.”

Oh, she has no fucking clue. It’s astronomical.

When I don’t answer, she adds to it. “And of course, there’s Merit’s store. Not only did she deal with vandalism, but the decline in customers actually forced her to shutter the doors, correct?”

Just hearing the words out loud…

It breaks me.

Shatters me.

Shreds me into little confetti pieces like a damn woodchipper.

I have put Merit through hell. Absolute hell.

I. Am. An. Asshole.

My whisper is a growl, low and thick. “Yes, that’s right.”

“We know she’s been one of your biggest supporters. She’s maintained your innocence to anyone who would listen.” Alaina cocks her head in curiosity. “But we haven’t seen her with you in several months. She’s…. dropped out of sight. What’s going on there?”

I knew this question was coming. Ella tried to prepare me for it. But there really isn’t anyway to prepare for explaining that I’m a fool. A fool who let the love of his life walk away.

Well, in all honesty, a fool who kicked the love of his life out of the picture. Who cut her to the bone with his accusations and tone.

I answer slowly. “The stress of being falsely accused weighed heavily on me. I wish I could say I handled it with grace, with dignity. But I didn’t. Unfortunately, those I love the most bore the burden of my frustrations.”

“So, you two are going through a…break, of sorts?”

“It’s the first broken thing I plan on putting back together.”

And if I can’t put it back together again? If the pieces are too broken?

Well, I can’t let myself think about that. Because my life isn’t mine without Merit. Like I said, I refuse to acknowledge any other outcome for our lives—except for unbridled happiness.

“That’s understandable. I can’t imagine the level of despair you were fighting. But how has the distance affected your relationship? Specifically, have you been able to play an active role in her pregnancy and the preparations for the birth of your child?”

What the fuck?