Page 20

HOLT

“Are you sure you don’t wanna come out? Just for a little bit?”

Her eyebrow lifts. “Uhhh, to the bar? The bar that’ll be swarming with young, thin, beautiful women?” She shuffles in her chair. “No, thanks.”

I roll my eyes, reading between the lines of what she isn’t saying. “It’s just five pounds. The doctor said you looked great.” My eyes travel down to the cleavage peeking from the top of her shirt. “And I have to agree.”

Her cheeks flush the cutest shade of pink. “I’m carrying your child. You’d say anything to keep me calm and happy.”

I lean back in my chair and fold my hands behind my head. I love the way her eyes automatically trail to my body. Like I’m a magnet she can’t pull away from. “You’re right; I would say anything to make you happy. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t true. Can’t you read my face?”

Her eyes dance, sparking flashes of green, brown, and yellow. “Maybe,” she says with a flirtatious grin.

Holy hell. Playful Merit is freakin’ awesome. “C’mon,” I urge. “Just for a drink or two. You have that huge non-alcoholic menu to choose from.”

She looks around the large dining table at the scatter of papers and notebooks. Marcum and Nate just left, and we officially have the website up and running. There’s a few small tweaks he and Merit want to make, but it’s nothing that can’t be done later. She shakes her head. “I wanna get this cleaned up for the weekend.” She shuts the lid to her laptop. “Besides, I’m not really in the mood to see all those skinny sluts hitting on you, Ridge, and Cullen.”

I choke on a laugh. “How do you know they’re sluts?” I fake a scowl and narrow my eyes. “And why do you care who hits on Ridge and Cullen?”

She pretends to ignore me.

“Hey,” I reach out and grab her hand before she can hide it underneath the table, “ you’re mine . Don’t forget it.”

Her gaze locks with my own, and she immediately stops breathing. Pins and needles travel the length of my arm.

I don’t think I’ll ever get used to touching her.

It’s erotic. It’s powerful.

The thought of touching her fuels my days and nights.

Loving her gives me a reason to get out of bed every morning. And the possibility of feeling her soft and scorching skin underneath my fingertips? Well, that’s just icing on the cake.

Suddenly, she slides her hand away, leaving me empty. It’s a fucking terrible feeling. I clear my throat and shake the fog from my brain. “Anyway, Ridge may be off the market soon. He started dating someone. They’ve been out a couple of times. Supposedly, he’s thinking of introducing her to the family.”

Her eyes grow comically wide. “Seriously? Oh man, what’s Laura gonna say to that?”

“Who knows. But I’m thinking about selling tickets and popcorn for the first time they meet.”

***

I made it three hours this time.

That’s way better than I thought it would be. Truth be told, I was ready to come home after the first hour, but Cullen actually needed Ridge and me to hop behind the bar for a little bit to help out. Both Will and the normal Friday night bartender came down with a stomach virus, so we had to jump in and help C until the other workers could come in. As per the usual, a really great band was playing, so the bar was packed out.

As soon as I open the door to the Children’s Wing, I hear one of Merit’s old movies playing in the living room. Ever since she came back, I’ve been trying to get her to watch her movies in the theater room, but she refuses. She still claims that’s my side of the house.

Eager to see her, I nearly walk past her open bedroom door when a slight, yet familiar, noise catches my attention. A whimper. A whimper I’ve heard a hundred times—albeit nowhere near as loud as I’m used to—and a whimper I’ve been dreaming about for the past six months.

It’s one of the things I think about late at night when my hand is wrapped tightly around my cock.

Turning around, I take a silent step.

My heart immediately thunders in my chest, pounding so hard it feels like my ribcage is bruising. She’s lying back on the bed with her feet propped on the mattress and her knees in the air. Her hair is fanned around her—brown and black and red—like a forest set on fire by the sunrise. Her flimsy cotton nightgown is gathered around her pelvis, and her hand is between her legs, slowly pumping some sort of sex toy in and out. The bathroom light is on, casting her in a warm glow, allowing me to see her every move.

I’ve never been so thankful for electricity.

I watch in awe as her bare crotch flushes red, a tempered blush pouring across her flesh. But I’m utterly devastated because things aren’t as they should be. Her pussy lips aren’t swollen and thick; they aren’t pulsing with need. Her cunt isn’t glistening with the sheen of her moisture; it’s not dripping and weeping. And although her hand is blocking my view of her clit, I can guarantee you that little bud is tucked away in the shadows, just begging for the sun so it can blossom. When my baby is ready for me, that clit is like a ripe cherry. Plump and juicy. And ready to be eaten.

Good thing I know how to remedy all those problems. Every single last one of them.

Not only that… I can solve them over and over and over again.

I’m instantly hard. So damn hard I literally think I’m about to explode. She whimpers again. And it’s not her satisfied whimper. It’s her I’m about to get mad because I wanna come right now whimper.

Here I come, baby. Your solution to this travesty.

“Mer.” My voice is cut from gravel, like someone tried to strangle the life from me.

Gasping, she yanks her hand from between her legs and loses grip on the slippery, rubber toy. It flies across the room. She scrambles to a seated position, and we both stare at the hot pink dildo in the corner. It landed perfectly on top of her multi-colored tennis shoes. Even from the doorway, I can see her white streaks of desire coating it—desire nowhere near as thick and gorgeous as it usually is.

When it’s covering my cock.

And let’s be real. Technically, it only blanketed my raw and bare cock once. One time. One single, lonely time. A time when I wasn’t in the best headspace, needless to say. So, I didn’t fucking appreciate it the way I should’ve.

I. Want. It. Again.

It’s impossible to think about anything but being inside of her.

Her eyes balloon, and she jumps up from the bed, tugging her nightgown around her naked bottom. “Wh…what are you doing home so soon?” When I don’t answer, she flitters closer to me, studying the floor with every step. Eventually, she shakes her head and lifts her chin, staring straight at me. She cocks a hand on her luscious hip. “Just so you know, there’s nothing wrong with what I was just doing. Most women have a very active sexual appetite during pregnancy. It’s healthy and normal and nothing to be ashamed of.” She points a finger at her chest, drawing my eyes to her peaked nipples. “I’m not ashamed.”

“No?” I ask. I’m barely able to form a cohesive thought.

She frowns. “No. There…” she stumbles over her words again, “there’s nothing wrong with it.”

I tug the ballcap from my head and drop it to the floor. “There’s something very wrong with it.”

Her eyes dart back and forth. Her face is too easy to read. She’s completely confused and is now wondering if she did something to hurt the baby. “There is?”

I erase the distance between us, skimming my body—ever so lightly—against hers. So close I can smell her cucumber-scented lotion. So close I can touch her if she’d let me. “It’s supposed to be me . My body—my cock—pushing into you, making you scream. Not some piece of plastic.” My fingers tangle at her side, squeezing with a punishing grip. “It’s supposed to be me making love to you, Merit.” I lick the shell of her ear, making her shiver. “Fucking you. Every. Single. Day.”

She doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t have to.

The smell of her arousal floods the air.

I bet that pussy is crying now. And I wanna wipe its tears.

With my tongue.

I can feel the swell of her body. The hard caress of her nipples as they scratch against my T-shirt. The soft sway of her hips against mine, as she teases the bulge in my shorts. The air in the room pulsates. It’s like a damn sonic boom against my eardrums.

“You want me inside of you.”

“No. It’s not a good idea, Holt.”

“Don’t lie, Merit.”

“Mmmm?” Her noncommittal response sounds more like a passionate moan.

“You want me inside of you. It’s written all over your face.”

Her eyes flutter closed, and she takes a deep breath. The movement draws my attention to the delicate lines of her collarbone.

“Tell me the truth.”

Her lips move. Her answer skirts across my face on angel’s wings. “Yes, I want you inside of me.”

I nearly collapse in relief. Months and months of tension drain from my body in no more time than it takes me to blink.

I need her. Now.

But… I also want to take my time with her. Savor this first time back together.

My fingers find their way under her gown. I drag them across the heated skin of her bare thigh, and when my thumb grazes her clit—that sweet, round cherry—her knees buckle. She doesn’t have to worry about falling, though. Because I’m not letting her go. My free arm is holding her tightly, refusing to give her even an inch of freedom. I’m lifting her up. Her tiptoes barely touch the floor.

I pushed her away. Pushed her out of my life.

I’ll be damned if I ever let her go again.

And sure enough, now she’s wet. Soaking wet and ready for me. “Fuck me. There’s my girl.” My fingers slide into her. Her head lobs against my shoulder, hiding her eyes with wild strands of her redwood hair. Words of passionate adoration tumble from my lips. “You’re so wet, baby. Tight and wet and perfect. My hands have ached for you. I want your cum dripping from my fingertips down to my elbows.”

I work inside of her, teasing all the spots I know she loves. If it feels this good for me now, I can only imagine what it’ll be like in a few short minutes when it’s my cock inside of her instead of my calloused fingers. Her panted breathing quickens, and I can tell she’s close. So damn close. She softly bites down on my skin, licking and tasting me. It’s fucking erotic. And it makes me pump into her even quicker. Even harder.

And when she comes all over my hand and screams my name into the darkness of our house, I nearly lose my shit.

Carefully releasing her to stand on her own two feet, I drag my hand from between her legs and lick my fingers clean before kissing the holy hell out of her.

Sweet. Fucking. Mercy.

This kiss.

Her lips, her tongue, her teeth.

I think it’s even better than the first time we kissed.

Why?

Because now I know what life is like without her. It’s something I never want to experience again. She makes life worth living.

Merit is my everything.

Our son is my everything.

Our family is my everything.

I kiss her until she eventually pulls away from me, gasping for air. She giggles and her signature snort is music to my ears. “Are you trying to suffocate me, sir ?”

I whisper against her neck, teasing her now with my own teeth. Her body shudders beneath my touch. “You know I hate it when you call me sir .”

She smiles. Softly. Wickedly. “Don’t lie, Holt Hill. You fucking love it.”

Hell, yeah, I do.

Leaning back, I tug my shirt off. Her eyes devour me, leaving nothing but little shards of bone in their wake. And when she reaches out and traces the contours of my abdomen, I nearly combust. Her fingers scorch a path across my body, landing on my belt. Taking her lead, I undo my cargo shorts and kick them to the side. Her eyes dart down, hungrily eyeing the massive erection nearly ripping my boxer briefs in two. There’s even a wet spot right on the crotch from my pre-cum.

Like I’m some pathetic teenager who can’t even keep it in his pants.

“I need to see you, to see the stomach growing our baby,” I beg. I grab the hem of her nightgown and pull it over her head.

And for the first time, I’m seeing her pregnant body. All of her pregnant body.

You wanna know how I know God is real? Because I’m watching the woman I love grow our child in her belly.

Right. In. Front. Of. My. Eyes.

Minute. By. Minute.

She’s fucking gorgeous. That extra five pounds she was so concerned with has just added to her beauty. Her breasts are heavier than they used to be. Rounder. Swollen. Her nipples larger and darker. Her hips are wider and decorated with a few faint purple and pink stretch marks that weren’t there before. And, most importantly, the skin of her stomach is stretched tight over our growing boy. Firm and taut.

I want to look at her and touch her and taste her all at the same time.

I want it all.

She bites her lip. “I’m different.” I can’t help but notice the tone of apology in her voice.

“Better,” I say. “I’d like to think we’re both better. Better than we were. Stronger. Ready to face forever together.”

Her brow furrows. “This…this doesn’t change anything, Holt. It’s…it’s just sex. We’re not getting back together.”

I can tell she doesn’t believe those words. Not for one second. But instead of calling her out, I let her win the battle. Instead of chastising her, I kiss her, taking the opportunity to drag my hands across every inch of her skin, giving myself time to just relish the way she feels. The way she reacts to my touch. The way she haunts my soul with her every action.

Whimpering. Moaning. Shaking.

I’ve never been more ready for the screaming.

I push my underwear to the ground, grab her bare ass, and haul her into my arms. Instinctively, her ankles lock around my waist, and I carry her to the bed. The anticipation of making love to her again has sweat dripping from my body. I crawl over her.

“Wait,” she half-heartedly shoves against my chest. “What about protection? Do you have a condom?”

My thumb traces around her wider-than-normal belly-button. “Uh, Mer, I don’t think you quite understand how condoms and pregnancy prevention work.”

She doesn’t even crack a smile. “I’m not talking about pregnancy. I’m talking about protection from other stuff . I mean, it’s been a long time. I wanna be safe.”

“Is that your way of asking me if I’ve had sex with someone else?”

“It’s fine. I mean, we broke up. You’re allowed to have sex with whomever you want.”

Well, that’s a boldface lie. It’s written all over her face in disgust.

“Merit, I haven’t been with anyone else. The thought never even crossed my mind. Because that would be cheating. I love you. And only you. I will never, ever cheat on you.”

She opens her mouth, ready to tell me that we aren’t a couple.

I really don’t wanna hear that again, so I drown her protest with a kiss. I play with her nipple, noting the texture is different than it used to be. And when her legs fall open, I position myself at her entrance. She’s slick and primed and perfect. I glide into her, forcing myself to take it one slow and delicious inch at a time.

Holy. Fucking. Hell.

My memories of Merit don’t do this justice.

Because my love and admiration for her have grown tenfold since the last time we were together, this is more .

So much more. This is…love and honor and passion and devotion and…life.

This. Is. Fucking. Life.

This. Is. Us. Creating. Life.

Her back arches, and she moans.

My cock is literally sending sparks of pleasure through every single cell of my body. I can feel every millimeter of her hot and heavenly pussy clenching around my dick.

Okay, it’s official. I’m never using a condom again. And why should I? This woman is gonna be my wife. My forever. The mother of my children. My other half. My better half. We are going to make a gaggle of children if I have any say in it, or at least die trying.

I frame my elbows around her face and nudge her nose with mine. “Open your eyes, Mer. Look at me.”

Her heated breath fogs between us, wetting my neck. “I love you, Merit. I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry for hurting you.” I lower down, taking care not to squash my son, and gently kiss her lips. I trail my tongue across her jaw and down her cleavage, relishing in the salty taste of her sweaty skin, in the feel of her swollen breasts. “I’ll search the dark, find all the broken pieces, and put them back together again. I’ll make us whole. I promise, baby, we’ll be stronger than we ever were. We’ll never break again.” I kiss her. Softly, sweetly. “ I’ll never break us again.”

And when one lone tear slides down her face, I lick that too. “Let me show you I love you.”

I pull all the way out and plunge into her again and again and again.

But not fast.

No. Hell no.

Then, this would be over way too quickly.

And I want it to last forever.

Slowly, we make love. Until my mind and my body are about to implode and evaporate into nothingness.

Eventually, she’s clawing at my back, digging her nails into my skin, forcing me to stay inside of her, forcing me to give her what she wants, what she needs.

Together, we chase and find our orgasms. Our screams echo against each other, battling for domination.

She drains me. Completely and totally.

And yet, I’ve never been more fulfilled. And so damn thankful.