Page 22

HOLT

The judge shuffles through some papers. “All right, ladies and gentlemen, I believe that’s the last of our victim impact statements. It falls upon the duty of the court now to—”

“Wait!” Merit jumps up from beside me.

I wasn’t expecting her to move. I wasn’t prepared. My hand falls from her leg and slaps against the wooden court bench. Quickly recovering, I jump up and wrap an arm around the small of her back. I can’t help but notice she’s sweating. Her flowy sweater thing is sticking to her. “Mer, what’s wrong,” I whisper.

Worry eats at me. What if something is wrong with her? With the baby?

“Miss Browning?” The judge looks back down at the folder in front of him. “I was told you didn’t wish to speak. Has that changed?”

She stutters, “Is… is it too late?”

“In my courtroom, it’s never too late, Miss Browning.” He waves his hand at the podium. “You may approach.”

For a moment, Merit looks like she may turn and run. Or, at the very least, throw up everywhere. I lean close to her. “Mer, you don’t have to do this.”

Her eyes are filled with colors of green and yellow today. Swirling and shifting like a kaleidoscope. “Yeah, I do,” she says matter-of-factly. She puts one shaky foot in front of the other.

My heart swells. She’s the damn strongest woman I know.

The judge lifts an eyebrow. “Mr. Hill, you may return to your seat.”

I shake my head. “All due respect, Your Honor, but I’m not leaving her side.”

The court deputy takes a step in my direction, ready to enforce whatever the judge may demand. After a beat, and with a nearly imperceptible nod, he orders the bailiff back.

I’m glad. Going to jail for contempt is not high on my to-do list today.

Merit folds her hands in front of her and looks down. She studies the courthouse name engraved on the wooden podium and nervously shifts from one foot to the other.

And we wait.

The courtroom is completely quiet.

Too quiet.

I can even hear myself breathe. It sounds like a freakin’ freight train.

I’m about to turn Merit around when she starts talking. “I couldn’t sleep.” Her head snaps up, and she stares at Delaney. “When I found out the truth, I couldn’t sleep. I got out of bed every single hour. I would walk the entire house, making sure no one had broken in. I was home with my parents, with my grandmother. She heard me one night and came to check on me. It didn’t even cross my mind that it could be anyone else but you. All I could think about was you.” She scoffs in disbelief. “I nearly stabbed my granny with a kitchen knife.”

Holy shit.

I had no idea.

Her hands grip the podium, turning her knuckles white. “And once I started sleeping through the night again, I had nightmares. About Holt. In prison. Nightmares about him being beaten to death. Threatened. Tortured.” She looks over at me. Her eyes glisten with unshed tears.

My heart is literally ripping out of my chest right now.

Clearing her throat, she straightens her shoulders, powering through the details of her trauma. “I lost my job. My livelihood. My ability to provide for myself.” Her breath echoes through the microphone attached to the podium, shaky and hollow. “Every single day my store was vandalized. My employees were harassed.” She pauses, gathering her thoughts. “That store was my joy. Pure, unfiltered, passionate joy. And no one would even set foot inside. My sense of worth was trampled. I went from being a productive business owner to being a pariah.” Her brow furrows. “People actually thought I was some kind of pimp, hiring Heidi so Holt could have ‘easy access’ to her,” she says with air quotes. “It’s sickening.”

She sniffles, wiping her nose with her hand. “And what about Heidi?” she asks. Fury and rage circle around her like a fog. “That poor girl. How could you do that to a child? Objectify her? Lie to her? Sexualize her? Turn her into a criminal? Because of you she’s gonna have to fight to prove she’s not the person you tried to turn her into. She’ll never be able to stop fighting. She’ll never be able to forget. Ever.”

She waits for a minute, trying to see if anything registers with Delaney. But alas, Delaney just sits there, stone-faced and solemn. Like a porcelain doll that’s fallen from the shelf and is staring at the ceiling.

“Before you ruined my life, I was happy.”

Unable to stop myself, I slide my hand over hers, trying to give her my strength.

Of course, she doesn’t need it right now. Because she’s My Merit. And she’s completely badass.

“ We were happy,” she says forcefully. “And you took that away. Why? Because he wanted me instead of you? Because you thought I had the life you were meant to live?”

She waits for an answer that never comes.

“We’re having a baby. A son. Our child will never know a life where his father wasn’t accused of a horrible crime. It’s part of our history now. On the Internet, on the television, in the magazines. Anytime someone talks about his father, this will be mentioned. You’ve tainted his father’s legacy.”

She nibbles on her lip.

“I… I think I hate you. I’ve never actually hated anyone before. Not the girl who tripped me on purpose during the field day race. Not the boy who copied my English paper in college and claimed it as his own. Not my ex-husband. And not even you when I caught you having an affair with my ex-husband. But then you did this, you did this to Holt. I’ve never met anyone better than him.”

Her jaw twitches with anger. “I do hate you, Delaney.”

She shrugs her shoulders and snorts with a small, cynical laugh. “What am I supposed to do with that? How am I supposed to live with that anger?” Her brow furrows, and she stutters again. “I… I don’t know if I can forgive you. And I’m really scared about what kind of person that makes me. I’m scared you’ve ruined me.”

Finally, she looks back down, and her body starts to shake as she whispers, “I don’t wanna be ruined.”

***

She doesn’t seem surprised to see me.

I lean against the corner wall of the Children’s Wing living room. Her eyes immediately roam my body. I didn’t bother putting a shirt on. It’s easy to see she’s pleased with that decision. Her eyes widen, and her cheeks blush. Her body instantly responds to mine, and I catch her rubbing her thighs together before she can cover herself with a blanket. Instead of saying anything, I give her a devilish wink.

She rolls her eyes. “You do realize my parents are asleep in that bedroom right there,” she says with a point.

I can’t help but laugh. “You’re the one whose mind is in the gutter. I, myself, am more than capable of controlling my urges for seventy-two hours.”

“And just how do you know where my mind is?”

“Mer,” I say with a tease, “don’t forget you wear your emotions all over your face.”

“Oh yeah, and what does this emotion say, sir ?” She flips me the bird.

Playing dirty, I lift my arms and drape them behind my head. She still loves it when I do that. “I’m not good with sign language. Maybe you can show me.”

She tugs the blanket closer to her, giggling and snorting.

Trying to calm the raging hard-on that’s about to grow in my shorts, I nod to the TV. “What’s this one?”

“ The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance .”

“It’s good?”

She looks at me like I’ve just asked her if fried rice from the Japanese steakhouse is good. Shaking her head, she turns back to the movie, pretending to ignore me.

“Let’s go talk.”

She eyes the bedroom door where Deke and Marie are fast asleep. “Holt, that’s not a good idea.”

Now it’s my time to roll my eyes. “That’s not a euphemism, Mer. I’m serious. I need to talk to you about something.” I hold out of my hand, urging her off the couch.

Of course, she’s wearing one of her simple cotton nightgowns. Sexy and thin and perfect against her growing body. She’s washed off the makeup she wore to court, and her hair hangs wild and free around her face. Tossing the blanket to the side, her hand slips in mine, and she skirts around the coffee table.

Well, she attempts to skirt around the coffee table. With a loud thud, she rams the side of her foot into the table leg, stubbing her toe. She gasps and doubles over. “Ahhhhh. Motherfucker,” she whisper-yells.

I jump over the side of the couch. “Are you okay?” I push her hair back, trying to get a better look at her face. It’s grimaced in pain. She’s trying to be quiet because of her parents, but she really wants to scream. Before she has a chance to fight back, I scoop her into my arms and carry her out of the Children’s Wing. I’m nearly into the Big House’s living room before she fully has her breath back.

“Holt, put me down. I’m too heavy. You’ll hurt your back.”

That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard in a very long time. I shift my hand, intentionally tickling the soft skin of her ass cheek. She squirms in my arms, giggling. “Stop.”

I head outside by the pool and gently set her on her feet. Bending down, I check the damage. Her pinky toe is pink and a little swollen. “Can you move it? Do you think it’s broken.”

She wiggles her toes. “I don’t think so. I think it’s just bruised. It hurt like a son-of-a-gun, though.” She frowns, looking at her feet. “My ankles have been swelling really bad. I look like a marshmallow puff.”

I stand up and splay my hands across her stomach. “You have never, nor will you ever, look like a marshmallow puff. You’re gorgeous.” I press harder with my hands. “Isn’t that right, son? Isn’t Momma pretty.” Instantly responding to my voice, he rolls around.

A peaceful grin falls on Merit’s face.

The same smile she always gets when he moves.

“I love you,” I say, looking into her eyes.

Her smile falters, and she leans back, breaking our connection and turning serious—the way she always does when I take our playful banter a step further. “What did you need to talk about?”

“Well, I needed to tell you that I love you,” I say honestly. “And I just wanted to make sure you’re good, that everything from today sank in.”

Ten years.

That’s what Delaney got.

Ten years in prison with no early parole, followed by ten years of probation. And she has to register as a sex offender.

That covers all charges. Framing me, breaking into my house, distributing pornography of a minor, wire fraud, and so much more.

She walks to the edge of the pool. “I’m not sure how I feel.” Sitting on the top step, she dangles her feet in the water. “I guess I should feel like justice was served, but I just keep wishing that none of it had ever happened.”

“I wish that too. But then we might not have him,” I say with a nod at her belly.

She looks down at her stomach, smiling. “Yeah, I’ve thought the same thing.”

“You were great in court today—your statement. Why didn’t you tell me any of that? About the nightmares and everything?”

She studies the water, watching the waves ripple away from her feet. “You weren’t exactly on my speed dial at that time. In fact, I couldn’t have called you even if I wanted to.” Her voice hardens a little bit. “The police had my cell phone.”

“I was such an asshole, Merit.”

She looks over at the waterfall, watching as it tumbles into the swimming pool. After a moment, her face softens, and she decides to grant me more grace than I’ll ever deserve. “You were in a horrible situation. I can’t even imagine what you were going through. Knowing that you may spend years in prison for a crime you didn’t commit?” She sighs. “Things could’ve been a lot worse for both of us. I guess we should just be grateful the truth came out.”

“Because of you,” I say. “You led us to the truth.”

She shrugs. “Y’all would’ve gotten there. You and Ella and Crutch and Marcum.” Her lips twitch with a smile. “Eventually.”

It makes me laugh. “Ella’s always looking for good help. Forensics? Investigations? Just saying, in case you’re considering a career change.”

Her smile falls. “What career? I have a pity job—helping with the Foundation.”

“First of all, that’s not a pity job. I have no idea how you’ve been able to do everything you’ve done so quickly. We’re already helping people. Every single day you blow my mind.” I walk over and sit down beside her, giving myself a few minutes to gather my thoughts. “I actually wanted to talk to you about that too.”

She squints an eye. “About The Hill Family Charities?”

“No, about your career. What you had to give up for me.” I slide my hand across her knee. “I’m sorry.”

She looks at me with doe eyes, innocent and curious. “You’re not to blame. It was all Delaney. And everyone who believed her lies.” She sighs. “I did what I had to do. If the store stayed open, I would’ve gone bankrupt.”

I reach for her, twisting her hair between my fingers. I can’t stop touching her, wanting her. “You did more than you should’ve.” I reach into the pocket of my shorts and grab her present. The second she sees the black velvet of the jewelry box her jaw drops and she gasps. But her excitement quickly fades. When I hold the gift in front of me, she frowns. Cocking her head to the side, she studies the elongated shape. She’s obviously sad she’s not staring at a ring box. That’s plain to see. It’s written all over her face.

That disappointment actually makes me fucking ecstatic.

Because I still have her engagement ring. It’s burning a hole in the top drawer of my nightstand. Just waiting for when I know she’s ready…and that day is soon.

“A necklace?” she asks.

I shake my head. “No, not a necklace.” I flip the lid, and this time her excitement doesn’t wane.

“My bracelet,” she whispers. She traces the rubies and diamonds with trembling fingers. “How?” Her syllables are drawn out, slow and stumbling.

“The day you left,” I say simply. “When Ella brought over the money, I had a sinking feeling that you sold your bracelet. I called Kyra, and after she unloaded her full vocabulary on me, she told me. She knew the name of the jeweler, so I immediately went there to buy it back. He had already sold it, but I convinced him to have the other party call me. Once I explained everything, the guy was pretty understanding. He let me buy it back.” Of course, I had to pay close to double what the guy paid, but I don’t dare tell Merit that.

She clears her throat, fighting tears. “I… I can’t accept it. I sold it because I needed to. I needed to pay you back for the loan money. Without income from the store, there was no other way.”

I examine her, taking my time to etch this memory into my brain. The curve of her neck. The pink glow of her luscious lips. The shine of her eyes glittering underneath the summer moon. I love her so much. So damn much. “I never wanted the money back. Despite what I said when I was… when I was lost and angry and crushed. I never wanted the money. I just wanted a life. With you.”

She turns away, her fingers working the hem of her nightgown in worried anxiety. “That doesn’t change anything. If I take that bracelet from you, I’ll still owe you. I don’t wanna owe you. One day—ten years from now, fifteen years from now—something will happen, and you’ll think back on this night and think everything I’ve ever done has been for the money. To get my bracelet back. To get my store loan paid off. To get a free place to live.”

I gently tug on her chin, forcing her to look at me. “I’ll never think that.”

“That’s what she did, Holt,” she continues. “Delaney. She wanted your money. She wanted your attention. Your fame. Your… everything.”

“It wasn’t too long ago when you said you wanted to take everything from me.”

“You know what I meant.”

“Tell me, Merit.”

“I wasn’t talking about your money or your fame.”

I think back on that night, on our first time together. The first time I felt my body move inside of hers.

“Tell me,” I say. Those words taste bittersweet on my tongue. It’s what she used to say to me when she wanted to hear I love you . Now I say it, and she shies away. Changes the subject. Puts up her walls.

Her voice is broken and scratchy. “I wanted your heart.”

I brush her hair from her face. “You’ve always had it.”

She doesn’t say anything. For a long time.

Eventually, I sigh and push the bracelet box back into her hand. “Look, this bracelet is a family heirloom. It’s part of your history. One day, our son is going to meet a girl. A girl he wants to spend the rest of his life with. A girl he marries and makes babies with. He’ll give her this bracelet, and then one day, pass it down to his firstborn son or daughter. It belongs in your family. In our family.”

Her eyes glisten with unshed tears. Closing the box, she clutches it against her chest. “Thank you, Holt.”

Pulling her to her feet, I walk her back to the Children’s Wing and then slowly make my way to my side of the house.

Alone.

To my empty bedroom.

Because I’m trying my best to be respectful of Deke and Marie’s presence—even though Deke pounded me with the side eye more than once today, giving me the distinct impression that he knows I’m having sex with his daughter. Again.

It takes longer than normal for me to fall asleep. It feels like hours. On top of that, typically, I don’t have many dreams. At least, not ones that I can remember. I assume it’s because I sleep so hard, passed out to the world. But tonight is different. I keep thinking of her, and I’m caught in between reality and fantasy, between real-world and dream-world. So, when she shakes me, I wake up quicker and easier than normal. I think she only has to whisper my name, instead of scream it.

Squinting in the dark, I lean up on my elbows. “Merit, are you okay? Is the baby okay?”

She doesn’t say anything, so I reach out, instinctively needing my hands on her body. When my fingers graze her arm, I notice she’s covered in chill bumps. I sit up. “Mer?”

Slowly, my eyes adjust to the moonlight filtering in between the blinds. She grabs the hem of her nightgown and lifts it over her head. She uses the next split second to push her panties down to the floor.

Needless to say, in that split second, I lose my fucking mind.

She’s so damn gorgeous.

Her body is changing, and for me, it’s all part of the miracle. I mean, I loved her body before pregnancy. And I will love her body after pregnancy—whatever it looks like. But this? This I will only have for another few short months.

Her nipples are hard, just begging for my teeth to scrape against them. Her heavy breasts sway against the force of her staggered breathing, hypnotizing me with every alluring movement. And her hair is wild and carefree, draped around her shoulders like a curtain, demanding I wrap it around my fist.

My dick hardens. Past the point of comfort.

She reaches to pull back the covers. “I need you,” she says simply.

Immediately obliging, I push my boxer briefs from my body, freeing my painful erection. “What about your parents?” I ask.

“I didn’t really feel like inviting them to this.” She giggles with her signature snort.

She’s always so proud of herself when she makes a joke.

She pushes my shoulders, forcing me to lie back down on the bed and quickly straddles me. The tip of my dick brushes against her hot and welcoming core, making me growl like a fucking wild and feral animal. She’s already soaking wet with desire, and that tiny taste isn’t enough. I need more. Now. Her hands splay across my chest, and she slowly lowers herself onto my cock.

She arches her back, stretching her body so her stomach doesn’t rub against my pelvis. My hands fly to her waist, pinning her body to mine, and I buck against her, claiming her deepest and darkest depths for myself, making her cry out.

Making her scream into the darkness of our bedroom.

Out of all the times, over the past eleven days, that we’ve made love, had sex, and downright fucked, we’ve never done it in our bedroom.

Oh, how I wanted to.

But I knew this had to be Merit’s choice, her decision.

I needed her to want it. Just as badly as I did.

And here she is. Gifting it to me. Even though, it’s more than I’ll ever deserve.

She whimpers and wiggles, nonverbally telling me not to stop.

And so I don’t.

I give it to her. Wholeheartedly and with every ounce of my being. I know she’ll probably have bruises. As will I, based off the way her fingertips are digging into my pecs. But that’s fine. It’s not the first time, and it sure as hell won’t be the last.

Because I want her.

Forever.

Forever in my bed. Forever in my heart.

She looks down at me, her eyes heavy with longing and love. “Tell me.” Her whisper is soft. So soft I wonder if I imagine it.

“I love you.”

She closes her eyes, and a content smile falls on her beautiful face.

And then, I turn my words into a reality.