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CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

I leave the prison feeling a little more hopeful. I’m not an idiot just because I fell for him. I’d like to meet a woman who could resist LJ. Mom’s right. I won’t regret what happened, no matter what the future holds.

With that in mind, I make a decision. When I get home half an hour later, without thinking too much—so I don’t lose my nerve—I grab my phone and finally make the call I’ve been wanting to place since the beginning of the week.

It rings several times before someone picks up. But it’s not LJ’s voice I hear—it’s a woman’s.

"Hello, may I speak to LJ?"

"You have no shame, do you?" she snaps before I even get a chance to introduce myself, and I’m sure I must’ve dialed the wrong number.

I’m about to hang up, but I need to apologize first, so I begin, awkwardly, "I’m sorry. I think I called the wrong?—"

"Is your name Alexis? Because that’s what’s flashing on my brother’s screen."

"Yes. I’m Alexis."

Oh, God! This aggressive woman is LJ’s sister? If his whole family is like this, no wonder he doesn’t talk about them much.

"Then you’re exactly who I need to speak to. Don’t contact my brother again. Because of you, his fiancée is dead."

I can hear the anger in her voice—and the pain—but at that moment, I can’t feel any empathy. My heart is being ripped to shreds.

"Fiancée?"

"He was engaged. About to get married until you got involved in our lives, you bitch. Now Jodie and my nephew are dead. Our cousin’s in a coma, and it’s all your fault. She never would’ve gotten in that car if LJ hadn’t disappeared last weekend and?—"

Her voice becomes distant, like a dream. Unreal. I don’t hear anything else she says. I just keep repeating “I’m sorry” until the phone slips from my hand.

I don’t even feel the floor coming up beneath me—only my body falling into a void of silence and darkness.

Lazarus

Ten days later

"Did you do what I asked? Did you go to Cape Cod?"

"You’ve already asked me a thousand times, and I told you I did," Lois snaps. "Can’t you stop thinking about her for one second? Our lives are falling apart, LJ. We’ve lost everything.

Morrison’s still in a coma. You’ll have all the time in the world to visit your girlfriend later.

I get it—what you’re feeling is real. But right now, we need you.

You just operated on Dad yesterday, for God’s sake! "

I step away from her and walk toward the window of my parents’ house, which overlooks a massive garden. Rationally, I know she’s right. I’m a mess—and the worst person in the world to be by Alexis’s side right now. That first week, I was out of my mind.

Just as Athanasios predicted, Jodie passed away the day I got back from Cape Cod.

I felt buried in guilt. For her. For my child. For Morrison, who still hasn’t woken up from his coma.

Once my mind started functioning again—basically the following Monday, exactly one week after I left Cape Cod—I called Alexis to explain why I hadn’t shown up.

The call went straight to voicemail.

I became obsessed. When I got no response, I asked my sister to fly out to Cape Cod by helicopter. Lois told me she spoke to Alexis and that she seemed upset but understanding.

So upset she won’t even take my calls?

Did not showing up hurt her that badly? I can’t believe it. She’s young but mature for her age. I thought she’d at least hear me out.

"What exactly did she say?" I ask my sister again, even though she’s already told me.

"You’re obsessed, LJ. Did losing your child mean nothing to you?"

It feels like someone’s twisting a knife inside my chest. "Don’t ever say that shit again. You have no idea what I’m feeling."

She starts crying, walks over, and hugs me. "I don’t get what went wrong. You and Jodie were so perfect together."

I don’t correct her—she’s grieving. Despite the age difference, Lois loved Jodie like a big sister.

Now’s not the time to destroy her image of us, even though I’ve already had the talk with my closest relatives, explaining that the relationship with Jodie had truly ended—and that I never misled her.

It doesn’t make me feel any less guilty, though.

I wait until Lois calms down and check my watch. Time to get back to the hospital.

As if all this wasn’t enough, my father had a heart attack the moment Jodie’s death was confirmed.

His surgery was complicated, and recovery will take time.

My mother’s upstairs, being attended to by a nurse.

I came by to check on her—she’s barely eating and only sleeping with the help of sedatives.

"I have to go. Will you call me if anything changes with her?"

"I will. And you keep me updated on Dad and Morrison," she says, drying her tears. "It’s like everyone around us is dying all at once. Everything would’ve been different if the engagement had just happened that night."

I kiss her forehead and walk away—if I don’t, I’ll lose my mind. At night, when I lie in bed, I still hear Sheila’s voice echoing in my head: “ You killed them. My sister and the baby.”

My son.

And the trail of destruction I’ve left behind hasn’t ended yet. My father and cousin—each in their own way—are still at risk.

As I step outside, I tighten my grip on the phone. I know I don’t deserve her. I’ve brought harm to everyone around me, but I have to at least explain.

Like a compulsive addict, as soon as I get into the back seat and my driver starts the engine, I try her number again—only to be sent straight to voicemail.

Lois said Alexis seemed relatively okay when they met. But if that’s true, why won’t she talk to me?

I call the restaurant again. It’s the third time. The first two times, I spoke with employees who told me Alexis had quit. This time, though, a man answers.

"Ugly Shrimp."

"My name is Lazarus. I’m a friend of Alexis. I’m trying to get in touch with her and?—"

"I know who you are. And if you can’t reach her, that should be a clue that you need to stop trying."

"Who is this?"

"Badger Hill. Owner of this place—and soon to be her stepfather."

"What?"

"You heard me. And as the man who’s marrying Marla as soon as we clear those ridiculous charges, here’s a warning: stay away."

Whatever patience I had left is officially gone. "Fuck you and your threats."

"What the hell do you want? Haven’t you caused enough damage already?"

His words hit hard—because they echo exactly what my sister said just minutes ago.

And then something he mentioned sinks in.

"You said you’re marrying her mother once she’s cleared of the charges?"

"My girlfriend was wrongly accused of pushing an elderly woman down the stairs at the home where she worked. The woman died. Marla was arrested and indicted. She’s innocent, and we’ll prove it. Not that it’s any of your business."

"I’d like to help."

"You’d help a lot by staying out of it," he says, his voice tired. "Look, I don’t know you. I don’t know what really happened between you and Alexis.

But while you were off having your weekend fling, her mom got stabbed by another inmate.

Alexis blames herself for skipping that visit to be with you.

I know your type. She doesn’t belong in your world.

She’s beautiful, but she’s fragile. You’ll break her.

She told me she doesn’t want to see you again.

If you have any respect for the young woman, stay away. "