Page 27

The sight of him shocked her. It was her dad, but he looked like a stranger. He was older, obviously, and he looked softer, somehow. She wanted to run over and give him a big hug.

“And now over to Patsy to cut the ribbon for us. We’re so lucky to have her with us today, am I right?” Some further very British clapping ensued.

Patsy accepted the microphone from Mary. She was wearing a bright yellow floppy hat and a royal blue dress. Very spring-like. “Thank you. I’m very happy to be here and I’m utterly blown away by this park! I can’t believe how amazing it is.” She smiled. “I won’t keep you waiting any longer. Let’s get on with it, shall we?”

Jessica caught Rosie’s kind and gentle eyes. She too was staring at her, but Rosie was no stranger. She’d got through to Jessica in ways no one ever had. It was probably her fault Jessica was doing all this hugging today.

Mary handed Patsy the scissors, handle first. She cut the oversized bright red ribbon, grinning widely. “ Voilà ! It’s done! Happy park days, everyone!”

The polite British clapping turned into slightly louder clapping and the odd one-off cheer.

Jessica clapped harder than she’d clapped in years. She smiled at Rosie who smiled back. They’d done something special here and Rosie knew it too.

“Now this magnificent band are going to play a few songs for us,” Patsy said. A guitar strum followed, tempting them with what was to come. “Stay and enjoy, it’s a lovely day for it. Makes a change!”

The band started playing and Mary, Patsy, Mavis, and Jessica walked down the little steps of the bandstand. People in the audience started chatting to each other, moving away or moving closer to the band. The next hour or so was to mingle with people and do a press interview to camera. Mary was going to talk to the press first and then Jessica would take her place. Jessica’s heart beat a little faster at the intensity of having both parents in the same space at the same time, during what felt like the most special moment of her career. Her mum had overcome so much and done it with such dignity. She was always there when Jessica wanted to talk. She might not have been there for her when she was younger, but damn, had she tried to make up for it. As Mary went over to the reporters, Jessica went back over to her mum and Rosie, feeling as if a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

“Nicely done, Jess.” Rosie smiled.

“You did well up there,” her mum said. “How do you feel?”

“Proud. Happy.”

“So you should, love.”

“Nervous.”

“Why?”

“Dad’s here.”

“Is he?” Her mum’s eyebrows shot up.

Rosie’s eyes widened.

“He’s over there. I’m going to go and see him.”

Both her mum and Rosie got the gravity of the moment. She felt so held and supported by them, which made it easier to walk over to her dad. She nodded her thanks at them both as she moved away.

Her mum’s face was serious, but not unkind. “You’ll be fine, love.”

Her legs were like heavy weights as she walked. Her heart pounded. He was still exactly where she spotted him from the bandstand. He was wearing a suit, as if he’d got dressed up especially for today.

As soon as he spotted her walking over, he began moving towards her. His face lit up. He looked like a child on Christmas morning, unable to believe the gift was for him.

Her chest felt like it was expanding. Her step got lighter.

“Hi, Dad.”

“Jessie!” He held out his arms.

It was like hugging a bear. His large paw-like hands patted her upper back. It made her feel protected, in a way she hadn’t felt since she was a child, like the switching on of a long-forgotten feeling.

He stepped back. “I’m so happy to see you. Thank you for inviting me here today.”

He’d hardly said anything yet, but it already felt like he’d changed. He was warmer and calmer. All that aggression and anger towards the world seemed gone, at least in this moment. “I’m happy to see you too. Thank you for coming.”

He smiled.

She smiled back, not knowing what to say next.

“You’ve done something very special here. This place is fantastic. I’m proud of you.”

Jessica nodded, feeling emotional. “Thanks.”

“I wanted so much to talk to you over the years. I hope you know that. I kept writing to you even after I stopped sending my letters. I knew you didn’t want to hear from me, but I still wanted you to know how I was changing for the better and that I was thinking about you. I can still send them to you, if you want?”

Jessica held his eye. He was going there right away. She was very aware of the fact they were in a public place, with her people and their relatives right next to them.

“Sorry for being so direct. But I don’t know if I’m ever going to get a chance to see you again, darling.”

Jessica nodded. “No. It’s okay. Send me the letters.”

He took a deep breath. “Thank you.”

“How are you, dad?”

“I’m doing well. I work at the local supermarket. The house is good. I’m coaching the kids’ football teams and organising the club. Keeps me busy.”

“That’s good.”

“Enough about me. How are you?”

“I’m doing great.” Jessica was terrible at small talk at the best of times.

“Tell me about this wonderful thing you’ve done for the town.”

“It’s a long story.” Jessica waved her hand in a circle. “You can see what we’ve done.”

“I can see it. It’s perfect. The ingenuity it must have taken to create something like this.”

“I didn’t do it on my own. I had help. And the town were very involved. And vocal.” Jessica paused, feeling herself break into a grin. “I would have expected nothing less.”

“Very true,” he laughed, good naturedly, and then his face turned more serious. “You’ve achieved so much in your life.”

Jessica turned to face the band. Their music reverberated around the park. They were singing about looking to the future. Jessica faced her dad again, ready to hear him out.

“You’re being so kind to me, darling. Thank you.”

Jessica took a deep breath. She was starting to feel emotionally overwhelmed, something she’d spent her whole life avoiding. But it felt good, in a way, being more open to what he had to say.

“Ever since the bankruptcy and my prison sentence, losing so many years of your childhood, I’ve spent every day thinking about how I could possibly ever make things up to you, knowing I never could. I’ve been working hard and trying to be a better human being. Most importantly, I realised that I wasn’t a good enough dad to you when you were little. I was young and stupid, and I fucked up. You didn’t need or want to know me anymore. I’d had my chance as your dad, and I blew it. You deserved so much more from me. You and your mum. I’m so sorry for what I did, darling.”

The band continued playing. Jessica was speechless, trying to process in real time what he had said to her. He waited for her response, as if his life depended on it. Something cracked open, inside her.

He hadn’t been part of her life and this wasn’t instant forgiveness. But she was ready to allow him into her life in some way, on her own terms. She didn’t have much choice about it because it was more of a feeling of radical acceptance of what was, rather than an intellectual decision. He’d made mistakes but maybe he’d more than paid for them by now. None of her fears about his criminal past had come to light either. That was over now too.

Tears prickled behind her eyes. Her chest tightened in a kind of pained but happy way. “Will you stay for drinks? We’re having a short reception over by the café in the restoration yard.”

“I would love to.”

“Would you like to come and meet everyone?”

His face lit up again. In a strange way, it was like their roles were reversed. She was the adult now and he was the child. “Yes, please.”

“Mum’s here.”

He stopped. His face went serious. “Is she?”

“Yes.” She hooked her arm in his. “It’s about time we were all together once again.” They started walking, slowly, towards a new era.

“Hello, James.”

“Lin,” her dad said.

They shared a look that she couldn’t quite understand. The history between them felt like yesterday but also, like it was another lifetime ago. These were two very different people now. They’d both grown and changed so much. She loved them both dearly.

Her mum smiled at him.

The world brightened a little bit more. It felt lighter. Jessica took a glorious deep breath, in and out.

Her dad smiled too.

And so did she, through tears of happiness and pent-up feelings she didn’t even know were there. It all came rushing out of her, like a dam had been opened. She shielded her eyes as her inner child wept.

“Oh love,” her mum said.

“Darling,” came from her dad.

All she could think to do was hug them both, to keep them close, like a boxer does when they’re trying to avoid being hit, to get her emotional outburst under control. Sniffling into her mother’s shoulder, she had so much work to do on herself if this was how she reacted to her parents like this. So much shit to process from her childhood. Maybe now was the time to do it because being in their arms was like coming home.

***

“Room in there for another?” Rosie was standing at the entrance to the bandstand. Her expression was friendly but a little hesitant.

“Of course. Come sit down. I’m just taking a breather,” Jessica said.

Rosie sat beside her, slightly inside her personal space. It felt warm and comfortable. Crossing one leg over the other, Rosie looked at her in the eyes, an amused smile on her face. “From the mingling?”

Voices chattering nearby filled the silence. The band had long since packed up and left. Her extended family were still there, some locals and some of her staff at JF Architecture. And of course, her mum and dad chatting over some coffee on the chairs outside the café. “Yes. All the mingling. All the people. I’m having one of the best days of my life and I’m emotionally exhausted. But in a good way, I think. I just needed a couple of minutes to regroup.”

“Do you want to be alone?” Rosie uncrossed her leg as if to go, leaning forward.

Jessica rested her hand on Rosie’s thigh. She lowered her voice. “I don’t want to be alone from you. I’m happy you’re here. Please stay.”

Rosie returned Jessica’s gaze. She nodded, and leant back against the railing, smiling slightly. “So today went well?”

“It did.” Jessica kept her hand on Rosie’s thigh. She knew she should remove it, but she loved the feel of being close to Rosie and how her body felt underneath her hand. She wanted to keep touching her and never stop. The feeling was so strong, like a magnetic pull, drawing her in.

“That was so lovely today when your dad showed up and you talked to him. I’ve never seen you smile so much, Jess.”

“Or cry. God, I was a mess.”

“You weren’t. You were open and raw and vulnerable. It was a big moment.”

“I’m an open book now, what can I say. Hugs and tears. The lot. It’s horrific.”

Rosie put her hand over the back of Jessica’s. “Are you okay? Seriously?” Rosie stared at her, watching for her reaction.

Jessica nodded. “I am. Thank you.”

“Good.” Rosie took a deep breath. “I’m here if you ever want to talk more about it. Seriously. It’s a big deal.”

Rosie was the only person Jessica wanted to talk to about it, other than her mum. That Rosie was there for her meant so much. She just got her. There was this incredible understanding between them that Jessica felt in her soul. But Jessica still wasn’t sure of how much she could lean on Rosie for emotional support given their situation. “Thank you, Rosie. You are so kind to me, and I appreciate who you are so much. I hope you know that?”

Rosie just smiled, calmly, and nodded. “I’m here for you, Jess, and I’m not going anywhere.”

Jessica’s heart leapt. She caressed Rosie’s thigh with her thumb, aching to know what was next for this connection they shared, but also, growing more certain of the fact that they would be in each other’s lives no matter what.

Rosie looked towards the café area where Jessica’s parents were. “They seem to be getting along well.”

“I know. I don’t know what to make of it.”

“And your aunt and cousin are awesome. I was chatting to them when you were speaking to the journalists.”

“Oh yeah?”

“They’re super happy with the park and they said they really love the memorial statue.”

Jessica nodded.

“And on that.” Rosie eyed her closely. “It was you, wasn’t it? You’re the one who gave the donation to make the memorial possible.”

It wasn’t in her plans to tell anyone about her donation. That was the whole point of it being anonymous. Being the CEO of the company to deliver the regeneration, Jessica had been concerned about how it would look, and she didn’t want it to be about her. She never meant for this project to be about her, even though it turned out to be so personal. The memorial statue was about the people of this town, the past, and its future. It gave her great satisfaction to see such a classy piece of art within the park. She was more than happy to spend her money on it.

Jessica nodded, impressed by her perceptiveness, and unable to keep any secrets from Rosie, it appeared. Being this open with Rosie made her heart happy, it was that simple.

“Damn, I knew it!”

“How did you work it out?”

“I just had a feeling. It’s hard to describe.”

“You must be very intuitive.”

Rosie shook her head, shrugging her shoulders. “I think I just know you, Jess. It’s like I’ve always known you.” She looked away. “God, what am I talking about? Sorry.”

“Rosie.” Jessica stroked Rosie’s thigh, lost in a haze of love and affection for this beautiful, smart, and caring woman beside her. She’d never felt so connected to someone. Her feelings had snowballed over the past few months into something even more powerful. Maybe it was time to put all of her feelings for Rosie out there again and see where Rosie was now. “Would you like to come to my place for dinner for a proper celebration, just us, soon?”

“At your house?”

“Yes. I can’t believe I’ve not invited you over properly already.”

Rosie looked into her eyes and smiled. “Just let me know when and I’m there.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Perfect.”

“I can’t wait.”

“Me neither.”

“You know, today has been perfect.”

“I’m really happy for you, Jess.”

Jessica leaned over, towards Rosie’s head. “You’re very much part of what has made today one of, if not the, best days of my life. Having you in my life helps me deal with all of this. You make me feel like I don’t have to do everything alone anymore. I’ve never really felt that way before.”

“You don’t have to do everything alone anymore. I’m here for you. I see you. I know how warm your heart is, and I know what today means to you. You’ve got me, Jess.”

Jessica smiled, widely, feeling so seen and something shift inside her. There was so much more to say and to talk about. Like how the past few months had made her see even more just how precious and special their connection was. Like how she couldn’t imagine her life without Rosie in it now. Like how Rosie had become her favourite person ever, and that Jessica felt like she was falling in love with her. She took a breath to steady herself and instead kept it very simple. “I like the sound of that.”

Rosie stood up and held her hands out, with this look in her eyes that suggested she knew that Jessica was hers already. It was thrilling. “Come on, let’s go back in. There are so many people waiting to talk to you. I don’t want to hog the star of the show.”

Jessica let her help her up. Rosie’s hands were warm and felt so alive with energy. She bumped into her slightly when she got to her feet and held onto Rosie’s waist for balance. She didn’t really need to; it was just an excuse to touch her. The feel of Rosie’s body sent the strongest current of electricity right through Jessica. They paused together, as the world faded around them. It felt calm, and exciting. Rosie felt so good. The magnetic pull of her was the hardest thing to resist at this point. Jessica wanted so badly to lean in and kiss her.

But she didn’t. It still wasn’t the right time, no matter what her feelings told her. Only Rosie could green light this relationship. Jessica wanted Rosie to be one hundred percent sure and for it to feel like the right time. Maybe there was part of Jessica that wanted Rosie to choose her anyway, even if there were complications. But all Jessica could do was check in with her and see how she was feeling now. Jessica would make sure Rosie knew how she felt and how serious she was about letting Rosie fully into her life. She would do her best to show her tomorrow night and put her heart on the line for this amazing woman. Jessica took a deep breath. “Okay, Rosie. Lead the way. I’ll follow you.”