Page 12
Story: The Architecture of Us
Jessica ended the Teams call and stood so she could move around after sitting for so long.
“Fuck me, I’m glad that’s over,” Rich said, leaning back in his chair, stretching his arms out.
They were occupying the largest meeting room in the office for the day because they had back-to-back meetings. One was with a private international client who wanted to spend his millions building a new home in the Norwegian fjords and others were about recruitment, since some people had resigned over the new strategy. This meant they needed to replace them as soon as possible, ideally with landscape architects. She had a significant number of emails to catch up on including a number of calls and messages from Rosie, which she would follow up on later this afternoon.
Jessica needed some air. She turned to Rich. “Fifteen minutes before the next one. Want to take a quick walk around the block?”
“Fuck yes. I’m boiling up in here. Can we turn the AC on?” He was already up and turning it on, pointing the control to the unit at the rear of the room. It clicked on and began giving out its gentle cool air.
Jessica grabbed her coat. Rich did not. Within a minute or so they were speed walking out the door and marching up the street. Red buses and black cabs zoomed past. It felt good to move after sitting for so long.
“How’s Marco? Any further forward on the children question yet?”
Rich shook his head. “No. We are getting a cat.”
“Lovely. When?”
“We’re picking him up this weekend.”
“Do you have a picture?”
Rich stopped and pulled out his phone to show the cutest little orange and ginger cat ever.
“He’s gorgeous.”
“He is. We’ve got all this stuff for the little dude. He’s going to be so spoiled.”
“I bet he’s going to have the best dads.”
“Thanks.” They walked in silence for a minute. Rich glanced at her. “Marco wants us to start couples counselling.”
“Are you going to?”
“Yes. I think it might help.”
“I hope it does.”
“So, how’s your passion project going?” Rich asked, with a hint of something in his voice.
“Good. We’re on schedule. I can’t wait to see it all come together. The asshole local MP is prowling around though. The chief at the local authority is handling him. They’re good at the local authority, you know. They’re fully committed to it. To us.”
“Excellent. And you’re telling Rosie personal things now, too?” Rich raised an eyebrow.
“What? How do you know that?”
“Rosie mentioned. Don’t worry, I pulled it out of her. She didn’t say what it was.”
Jessica upped their pace. “I told her it was where I grew up. She was probably a little freaked out by it. I don’t know.”
“Probably was.”
“Is she okay?”
Rich smiled. “She asked that about you, too.”
“Oh.”
“She’s trying her best to work with you, it seems.”
It was true that Jessica probably wasn’t the easiest person to work with but hopefully she and Rosie were making a better team now.
“It’s good you’re being open about it. About who you are and where you came from.”
“I wouldn’t say open.”
They rounded the block and headed back towards the office.
“And it sounds like you’re not being such a micromanager anymore, which is good. She appreciates it.”
“Rich.” Jessica scolded him. “What the hell?”
“Anyway.” Rich moved on. “How does it feel having a connection again to your hometown?”
“I don’t have a connection.”
“Jessica.” Rich stopped walking.
Jessica went a few paces past him before she stopped too and turned back. “What?”
“I know you don’t want to speak to your dad, but don’t you think you should use this opportunity to get back in touch with at least someone in town? Or at the very least spend some more time there. Make peace with your demons or something. That must have been why you wanted to take it on, on one level.”
Jessica looked right at him. She knew he meant well. It did feel like there was something missing, though, with regards to the project, and with the experience she was having with it. It was as if she’d cut off a whole branch of her life and it had never grown back. She took a heavy breath. “It was never about that. But maybe I could spend a bit more time there.”
“Good. Because you’ve only gone a few times. Make the most of it. It’ll be good for the project and good for you. And I’m sure Rosie will appreciate the support. You need to get the balance right. It can’t be micromanager or nothing. She needs you.”
Jessica’s mouth opened to speak but nothing came out.
“Think about it, is all I’m saying.”
Jessica watched his long legs striding away. He had a point. Well, many good points. She jogged after him to catch up. “You’re right. I tell you what. I’ll go up there next week and spend a day or two.”
“Yes, you will.”
***
Jessica sipped her champagne while looking, no, studying the lesbian art on display. It was her friend Jade’s opening night for her new collection: sapphic euphoria. Jessica had spent at least ten minutes on each painting so far. The provocatively erotic images depicted in each piece spoke of moments of passion and celebrated unapologetically female bodies of all shapes and sizes entwined in all manner of positions. Her favourite was one of two muscular women in revealing eighties-style gym clothes, one straddling the other who sat on a bench with her arm flexed, as the one standing bent over to kiss it.
The exhibition was pretty busy with a mixture of Jade’s friends and the art world of London. Jade had a light display on rotation, inspired by the northern lights, to complement the moody backdrops in her art. Low-key electronic music filled the spaces in between.
Alone, Jessica was studying one of Jade’s smaller pieces, of two naked women looking into a rustic free-standing mirror beside a window which looked out to a roaring sea. One woman was standing behind the other, her hand reaching around from the back, holding the woman in front between her legs. But it was the expression in their eyes that got Jessica staring so long and so hard. It was as if the woman in front was the more dominant one, despite being in the more submissive position. Yet, the taller woman behind her had this presence about her. It was a striking image, and it spoke to something within Jessica. She missed that raw and all-consuming passion. It had been so long since she’d felt that way.
Jessica took a large drink of champagne, wanting it to numb her feelings as quick as possible.
“Um, Jessica.” Rosie stood nearby, as if she’d just seen a ghost. “Hi.”
“Rosie, hi.” Jessica’s eyes fell over the tight black crop top which showed off the most delicious amount of cleavage, a red and black tartan skirt, quite short, with thick black tights and dark chunky boots.
Rosie came over. Her hair was pinned one side, so that it looked like the side of her head was shaved. It was sexy. Edgy. At work, she was always so professionally dressed. Seeing her like this gave Jessica a whole new insight into Rosie. She found her so attractive. Perhaps Rosie wasn’t as strait-laced as she came across at work after all.
For a second, it looked like Rosie wanted to hug or shake hands or kiss Jessica on the cheek all at once. She did none of those things in the end and just stood there. “It’s lovely to see you. Here. I mean, of all places. It’s so random.”
Jessica smiled. Rosie was adorable when she was being awkward. “What brought you here?”
“I heard there was a hot new lesbian exhibition, and I was like, I’m there.”
Hearing Rosie say hot and lesbian was exciting to Jessica, but she tried not to show it. “You made an excellent choice. She’s been working so hard on this for years.” Jessica tipped her flute glass to the image of the two women. “She’s amazing.”
“You know the artist?”
“She’s a friend, yes. More of an acquaintance.”
“Well, she’s one hell of an artist. Her interpretation of sapphic euphoria is provocative and bold. It’s like seeing my innermost thoughts and feelings expressed in a painting.”
“They’re tastefully done. The paintings are highly erotic and sexual but there’s nothing gratuitous about them.”
“They’re true to life.”
“I agree.”
“They remind me of something. Like a memory of a feeling that was only ever fleeting. She communicates that, somehow.”
“She’s so good at capturing something in between, there’s what we’re looking at, moments of passion, sex, intimate moments, but there’s also something more in her paintings. I don’t know if it’s symbolism or something but there’s definitely something else here, very powerful.”
“It’s like she’s telling a story with each painting.”
“We should ask her. If she ever becomes free tonight.” Jessica spotted Jade talking to people, as she had been all night. “She has these little notes beside each one.” Jessica pointed at the small hand-written card mounted on the wall. “I haven’t read them yet.”
“Why not?”
“I’ve been trying to make my own interpretation first. I like to interpret art in my own way.”
“I like that.”
“But seeing as it’s my friend’s work, I’d better start reading her notes, so I can ask her more about it at some point.”
“I’m sure she’ll appreciate that.” Rosie smiled, holding Jessica’s eyes.
Jessica inhaled. Simple eye contact with Rosie had this way of affecting Jessica. She exhaled, stealing a glance at what Rosie was wearing again.
“Can I ask you a question?” Rosie said, glancing up at Jessica and holding eye contact with her again.
Jessica glanced at Rosie’s lips, almost unable not to, pulled in by some invisible force between them. The slick pulse of the music reverberating around the exhibition matched something inside of Jessica. “Yeah.”
“Do you enjoy the artistic side of being an architect?”
Jessica absorbed the question. She nodded. “I do, yes. Why do you ask?”
“It’s in your designs. I always notice it and it makes me think that in another life, you might have liked to have been an artist.”
“You thought that?”
“I did. I wonder about stuff like that about you a lot. You don’t talk about yourself much.”
In the purple lighting, before it would change to emerald green, Rosie seemed different. She seemed like a beautiful woman Jessica had got talking to at an art exhibition and was vibing with, because in a way, that was exactly what she was.
“There’s not much to say.”
“I don’t believe that.”
Jessica sipped her champagne. “What do you want to know?”
“What’s something you like about art?”
Jessica considered Rosie’s question. “The golden section.”
“Yes!” Rosie nodded, fist pumping the air. “I fucking love that.”
“I see it in this painting as if there were lines drawn on it. I see it everywhere.”
“It is everywhere. Once you know about it, you can’t unsee it.”
“I know. Ever since I learned about it in my undergraduate, I’ve loved it. The mathematics of it is beautiful. One to one point six one eight. It’s in great art like the Mona Lisa, and like this.” Jessica held her champagne flute up towards the two naked women by the mirror again. “It’s perfect.”
“It is perfect. It’s always the best image. The most beautiful to the eye.”
“That there’s a pattern in nature repeating in exactly the same way from seashells to waves before they break, to the shapes of galaxies, is one of the most exquisite things I’ve ever discovered.”
“I’m with you on that.”
“I think it has to be God, or something. It makes me feel less alone.”
“I feel the same.”
“It’s like, everything is connected, you know? Biology is chemistry. Chemistry is physics—”
“And physics is maths.”
“Exactly. And what we do in architecture is translate these core concepts of art, science, of nature itself, and make sure they are repeated in our human made structures. It’s art come to life.”
“It so fucking is.” Rosie held Jessica’s eyes, smiling broadly.
Jessica stood there, blown away by how much they had in common and how much she wanted to talk to Rosie about all things in the cosmos.
“Jessica, hi!” Jade appeared at Jessica’s other side. “Thank you so much for coming.”
“Congratulations on tonight, Jade.” Jessica pressed her cheek to Jade’s. “You’re incredible. I’ve been staring at each piece for so long.”
“Thank you!”
“This is my colleague, Rosie Patterson,” Jessica said, proudly.
“I love your work,” Rosie said, putting her hand out to shake Jade’s. “We’ve never met before, but I already feel like I know you. This exhibition is exactly what the sapphic world needed, one reclaimed pose after another.”
“Oh my God, thank you. I like the way you put that! I’d love to put that as a quote on my website.” Jade beamed.
As Jade and Rosie talked further, Jessica let herself enjoy the moment. Rosie was a very attractive woman, both inside and out. It wasn’t that Jessica hadn’t noticed before. She had, in many ways, but she’d been doing her best not to focus on it. On the way that Rosie made her feel. On the feelings she felt for Rosie. But tonight, it felt so good to acknowledge it to herself and to openly gaze at her.
“Sorry, I have to run. That’s the arts editor from The Guardian and I have to make sure I talk to her before she leaves. Jessica, we must catch up soon! Thanks again for coming to my opening night!”
And with that, Jade glided away into the crowd.
Rosie smiled softly at Jessica, that hint of that gentle thing they shared, just below the surface. “She’s fucking hot. That woman is owning this place tonight. Wow.”
Jessica laughed, from her belly. She hadn’t expected Rosie to say that.
“I know she’s your friend and all. Sorry. Anyway, I was thinking.” Rosie had a glint in her eye as she stepped closer. “Do you want to go and get a drink somewhere else?”
“I’d love to. Let’s go.”
Outside the gallery it was a relatively warm evening for London. It felt great to be outside wearing a summer dress, feeling the warm air rush over her skin, holding her light jacket in one hand. Rosie led the way. Being out on a Saturday night with Rosie felt strange, but good. It was totally understandable they would bump into each other at an event like that, and, that they might want to have a chat. Jessica had to tell herself this in order to relax. Walking fast was helping.
“That square reminds me of the one you redesigned, years ago, in the east end, when you were with Boughton,” Rosie said, pointing towards a little square adjacent to the road they were walking down. It was similar. “Before you did it up.”
“How would you know about that?”
“We studied it as part of my postgrad degree.”
“Oh.” Jessica didn’t know what to say to that.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. It was an amazing example of excellent urban design.”
“You didn’t make me feel uncomfortable.”
“It’s just you went quiet, so…”
“What did they say about it?”
Rosie smiled. “That your design was inspired. That it simultaneously improved the quality of life for people living nearby and retained the unique London quality that is so hard to replicate. I think you also won an award for it?”
“I did. To be honest, that’s one of my favourite projects I’ve ever done. If not my most favourite. I’m surprised you knew about it and remembered.”
Rosie was quiet. The only sound was of their footsteps and some cars and buses going past every now and again. “I just remembered it. I found it inspiring.”
“Well thanks. And thanks for mentioning. It’s actually one of the reasons I wanted to do Clydebank. I want to get back to that feeling of making a difference to things that matter.”
Rosie looked over at her. “I love that.”
Jessica didn’t reply, still thinking about how incredible it was that Rosie remembered that.
Rosie pushed the door of the pub open, and Jessica followed her in. The pub was cosy and not too busy. There were rustic candles on the tables and shelves of old books and antiques scattered around the walls. Jessica left Rosie at their table in a cosy booth and got them both a large glass of wine.
Rosie was typing on her phone when Jessica came back. When she saw Jessica, she turned it off and slid the phone into her bag. “ Merci beaucoup ,” Rosie said, looking up.
Jessica smiled as she handed the glass to Rosie. Their fingers brushed and she felt a soft hum of arousal.
Rosie folded her arms on the table and leant forward. She sat back, quickly putting her arms on her lap, before leaning forward again and resting her elbow on the edge of it.
Jessica sat there, watching as Rosie fidgeted, looking anywhere but in Jessica’s vicinity. Was Rosie nervous?
Finally, Rosie lifted her eyes and met Jessica’s.
Jessica smiled, trying to help relax Rosie and play down the impact simple eye contact between them was having on her, too. She sipped her wine and searched for something to ask Rosie so they could get back to the easiness they had at the exhibition. “Do you always look out for lesbian things to do at the weekend?”
Rosie’s eyebrows shot up, and she pursed her lips as if suppressing a laugh.
What the hell kind of question was that? Jessica wanted to take it back, instantly. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to say—”
“Um, no, it’s fine.”
“That came out wrong, ignore it please. What I meant to ask was—”
“No.” A smile appeared on Rosie’s face. “I’m happy to answer that. I mean, if by lesbian you mean lesbian art, cinema, events and the like?”
Jessica was grateful to Rosie for handling it well. “Yes. That’s what I meant.”
Rosie smiled. “Yeah. I do. But there isn’t much on that often. That’s why I jumped at the chance tonight.”
Jessica nodded. “I get it. You do have to really search around to find sapphic stuff. At least we have drag queens in Soho on a regular basis, you can always have a good night at a drag show. They’re so amazing, what they do.”
“I know. I love drag queens. But in terms of sapphic, I’d probably be on a lesbian dating app at the weekend. Talking to people.”
This time, Jessica’s eyebrows shot up. She needed to cool down. It wasn’t like her to get this flustered.
“Are you,” Rosie continued, “dating anyone right now?” Rosie picked up her glass and took a sip, tentatively, eyes darting around.
“No.”
“Really? Huh.”
“Are you?”
“Nope. I message people sometimes, but there’s no one on the dating apps that I’m vibing with right now.”
“Oh, I see.”
“You seem surprised.”
“Oh no, it’s just that I saw you one time, in front of the office. With someone. You seemed very much together.”
“You did? When?”
“Actually, I think it was about a year ago.”
“Ah.” Rosie pointed at Jessica. “I remember. That was a short-lived thing. We had a strong physical attraction but unfortunately pretty much nothing in common. It fizzled out. There hasn’t been anyone since her.”
Jessica nodded, just listening.
“What about you? Were you in a relationship?”
“No. I haven’t been in a relationship for quite a few years now. Not since I started JF Architecture.”
“Well, you are working a lot, I can see why you don’t have much time for it.”
“I do go on dates, though.” Although she hadn’t been on one in a while.
“Oh.” Rosie nodded.
A somewhat thick silence fell between them. It was impossible to ignore the chemistry she and Rosie shared. If they didn’t work together, Jessica would be very interested. Call a taxi and take her home right now kind of interested. But they did. Rosie was her employee and looking to climb the career ladder. For some reason, referring to Rosie simply as her employee didn’t feel quite right anymore. Getting involved was not an option though. Jessica felt disappointed.
Rosie leant forward. “Are you on any dating apps? I haven’t seen you anywhere.”
“I’m not on any dating apps.”
“How do you meet women then?”
“I ask them out. The old-fashioned way.”
Rosie’s mouth fell open, as if she was outraged or impressed, or possibly both. “That doesn’t surprise me, actually. I can imagine getting asked out by you would result in a date very quickly.”
Jessica held Rosie’s gaze as she tried not to think about asking Rosie out on a date and if that meant Rosie would say yes. “Anyway. What’s something you like about art? I never got a chance to ask you before.”
Rosie smiled. “In the sense of fine art, drawings or paintings, I’m looking for the unseen. Something in the image that tells us about the human experience that we don’t think much about. The moments we overlook but when you see them captured and brought to life, it makes you want to pause and be present and look at it. So, I guess I like art that can make me feel present. Yeah, I’d say that’s what it is.”
Jessica smiled. She did that a lot around Rosie. “That’s beautiful.” It was hard not to let her eyes drop to Rosie’s chest. She stole a glance when Rosie looked over her shoulder at something. The sight of her skin caused a rush of electricity through Jessica. Rosie was so hot.
Rosie turned back. She touched the bracelet on her wrist, absent-mindedly. It was the one she was wearing at the RIBA awards. “Your bracelet.” Jessica pointed at it.
“Ah, yeah.” Rosie rested her hand over it, as if trying to cover up the incident.
“It’s safe and sound tonight, I see.”
Rosie smiled. “Yep, safe and sound. Thanks again for finding it for me.”
“You’re welcome. I was glad you were down there for a good reason. I thought you were drunk when I walked in and saw you on the floor.”
Rosie burst out laughing. “Fuck, I bet you did. It was awful!”
Jessica wanted to say that Rosie still managed to look sexy doing it but stopped herself. It was too flirty. She took a large sip of wine instead. With this and the free champagne at the exhibition, Jessica was starting to feel a little tipsy. A little turned on. Why did an ideal woman have to be someone who worked for her? The unfairness of it.
“You know you’re a lot less scary outside of work,” Rosie said, with a look in her eyes that made Jessica want to kiss her.
Jessica rubbed the side of her own neck, baring the inside of her arm as she did so.
Rosie watched her, openly.
Jessica could feel a hunger rise within her, and it wasn’t for food. But then, it all stemmed from them working together which was the barrier. And Jessica wasn’t scary. She just expected high standards from professional people whom she employed. “Thanks. I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“And speaking of art, the topic of the night, I saw your drawings at Clydebank train station by the way. I was looking at them while waiting on the platform. They’re so cute, and good. You can tell you had a good eye from a young age.”
Jessica blinked. “You noticed those? How did you know they were mine?”
“They have your name written on them?” Rosie sounded hesitant.
“Yes, but it’s very small in the bottom corner, and it could have been any other Jessica Frost. I think it’s you who has the good eyes if you spotted that.”
Rosie tilted her head. “Come on. There can be only one Jessica Frost from Clydebank who can draw that well, surely.”
Jessica shrugged.
“I had time on my hands and like I said, the drawings were good. My favourite is the one where you have Clydebank Welcomes You at the top.”
It was lovely that Rosie noticed that, even if it did make Jessica feel slightly more seen than she preferred. The drawings and getting them put up in the train station was one of her happiest childhood memories. She was so proud that she’d won the competition in her school and that they put so many of her pictures up all over the station. The fact that they were still there was amazing. Jessica had spotted them after she’d done a runner after the first meeting with the local authority. It had instantly chilled her out and reminded her of why she wanted to do the project. She smiled, feeling so warm towards Rosie. “Thank you for telling me that. It was sweet of you to notice.”
The rest of the pub fell away. It was just her and Rosie. Time flew the more they chatted. Before she knew it, an hour had passed but it felt like five minutes.
“Would you like another drink?” Rosie’s eyes were hopeful.
“Thank you, but I’d better not. I’d better be getting home.”
“Ah, okay, sure. Do you have plans for this evening?”
“No.” Jessica shook her head. “I’ll probably go straight to bed.”
“Hmm.”
“Do you have plans?”
“No. I’ll go home, too. Get some rest. Busy week next week.”
Standing, she got her jacket and Rosie followed.
Outside, another quiet moment fell between them. Jessica hadn’t felt this connected to someone in a long time.
“Thanks for the drink and the chat, Jessica.” Rosie smiled, kindly. “It’s been nice to see you outside of a work context again. Have you decided about whether or not you’re going to come up for the engagement session?”
“I’m coming up, yes.”
“Excellent!”
“I’ll go on Tuesday and stay for a few days. I also want to see how things are progressing at the site, and I might take a look around the town. Get reacquainted, or something.”
“That’s wonderful, Jessica. Good for you. If you’re staying for a few days, you should stay in the house with me. I’m going to be there Monday to Friday.”
“Well, I haven’t booked a hotel yet. That could be a good option.”
“Perfect, then will you stay?”
“Yes.”
“The week just got one hundred percent better.” Rosie smiled.
“I’m going this way.” Jessica hooked a thumb over her shoulder.
“And I’m that way.” Rosie gestured in the opposite direction.
“Will you message me when you get home?”
“Yeah.”
“Great.”
“Bye, Jessica.”
Jessica stepped in for a hug, not thinking about it. Before she knew it, she was embracing Rosie fully, cuddling her in close. Rosie wrapped her arms around her and gave Jessica an extra squeeze. For a second, Jessica lost sense of time, inhaling Rosie’s lavender scented hair. She stepped back, as did Rosie.
“Goodnight, Rosie.” Jessica turned and walked away, wanting to look back and wave, foolishly, but she did not. What the hell was happening to her?