Page 24

Today was a big day in the office. It was the first day of the new canteen, including a new coffee machine. They’d redesigned the kitchen to include one long counter and a long island, separated from the open-plan office by a free-standing wall. This had created more space for tables, chairs, and a small lounge area to make it nicer to spend time in. They’d also hired caterers to come in and serve lunch every day. So much time and mental energy was being wasted by the staff over their lunch, either by not having enough places to sit or by having to go out and get something, that Jessica and Rich had decided to spend some money on sorting it out so people had a good option within the office for somewhere more relaxing to be rather than their desks. The caterers had set up very neatly, using the space available to lay out their stacks of food and show people which way to queue up. The line of people stretched back a few metres. Rich was there, surveying the scene from the back of the queue, his shrewd eyes taking everything in while he held a premade sandwich and packet of crisps. Jessica joined him.

“Can I just say I think this is one of my best ideas,” Rich said.

Jessica laughed. “And to think last year you were too afraid for us to go for lower paying but more rewarding projects? What’s got into you?”

“Shut up. It’ll be good for morale and productivity. You can thank me later.”

“How’s Major Tom?”

“He’s been bringing us home his kills, usually mice, sometimes still alive. Marco has been freaking out.”

“Oh dear.”

“Major Tom puts them on our pillows as little presents for when we wake up.”

“Oh God.”

“On the plus side, we’re unbelievably in love with him.”

“I knew you would be.”

“I’m not going to lie, it has been making me feel broodier.”

“That’s huge.”

“And how are you, these days? You’ve been quieter than normal, and that’s saying something.”

The last thing she wanted to do was tell Rich in this queue that she was falling in love with Rosie Patterson and missing her terribly. “I’m fine.”

Jessica got some of the homemade lentil soup, fresh bread, and a coffee and took her little tray to find a seat, following Rich.

“Can we sit here, Rosie?” Rich said.

Jessica looked up to see Rich addressing Rosie at the last available table. Jessica hadn’t seen her sitting at one of the tables while they were standing in the queue.

Rosie looked up and glanced between her and Rich. “Sure, of course.” Rosie moved her laptop to the side and cleared the table of her papers. But as she did so, she knocked her notepad off the table. It fell to the floor.

Jessica instinctively knelt to pick it up for her.

Rosie leant over at the same time. They almost bumped heads. She put her hand over the notepad. “It’s okay. I’ve got it.” There was a firmness to her voice that Jessica wouldn’t mess with.

“Sure.” Jessica stood up.

Rosie picked up her notepad and swung back upright. Her expression was pretty neutral.

“Working over lunch?” Rich said, sitting down. “It’s important to take breaks.”

“It’s busy so it’s easier if I just keep going, but thanks.” Rosie’s hair was tied up in a messy bun. Her eyes looked tired. Her sandwich was half eaten.

Jessica sat down, feeling worried about Rosie and out of place in this new canteen situation. Being around Rosie at work after their talk was tough. She had to keep her distance. She had to be careful. But she couldn’t be weird. “Rich is right. Um, is everything okay?”

“Yep, all good.”

“I saw your email to the construction company for the visitor centre, Rosie. It was spot on,” Rich said.

“Thanks. Hopefully it made it clear what we are willing to accept and what we’re not.”

“Oh, it was clear all right. Threatening them with a termination of contract without backdating their fee was pretty badass. Getting that clause put into the contract was epic. We’ve taught you well!”

“It felt a bit drastic, but the time had come. It shows the value of making sure the contracts match the project. We have no room for error on Clydebank, post the Tony Hunt debacle, so…”

“You did well, Rosie,” Jessica said. Rosie had sorted out yet another potential disaster on the project with the new construction company who had not been keeping to schedule. Watching Rosie deal with it all on her own these past few weeks had been epic. Rosie also hadn’t been coming to Jessica for advice as much. Jessica understood why she might be doing that, even if she did miss any opportunity for them to talk.

“What do you think of the new canteen?” Rich asked Rosie, between mouthfuls.

Rosie closed her laptop and picked up her sandwich. “I love it. From what I’ve heard so does everyone else. You guys are very generous to give this to us.”

“See,” Rich said to Jessica. “It’s going down well.”

“And the coffee is excellent.” Rosie looked at Jessica, innocently, but Jessica knew that look. “It tastes smooth and full-bodied.”

This was the first time Rosie had even remotely flirted with her since their talk. Jessica had stayed away from anything resembling over familiarity, to the point where she might be coming across as cold again. Not that they’d had much interaction with each other over the last few weeks though. A lot of that was Jessica’s own doing as she followed through on their agreement. Rosie had also been in Clydebank on site a lot and hadn’t made any attempts to meet up except for necessary work meetings. Suffice it to say that there had been no more spending hours alone working together during the day and no more sex in Jessica’s office or anywhere. There had been very little contact outside of work, except for a text message every now and again. When they did meet, the sexual tension was palpable, like now. Doing things right and proper as the owner of a large architecture company mattered. She reminded herself of this regularly. “That’s good. Taste is very important.”

“Very true.” Rich stood up. “Right, I have a meeting. See you later. Rosie, keep up the good work but please don’t burn yourself out. We need you.” He looked at Jessica. “Don’t put too much pressure on her you evil queen. Talk later.”

And with that, Rich left them alone in the busy canteen full of their colleagues. Others must have heard what he said too. He was such a fast eater and a straight talker. “I’m sorry about him.” Jessica looked at Rosie.

“No. It’s fine. I like what he said.” Rosie laughed a little, some colour returning to her cheeks.

“If there’s anything I can do to ease the workload on Clydebank, let me know.”

Rosie shook her head. “There isn’t, but thanks. I’ve got it all covered. Everything is on track.”

“I know you do. And that’s brilliant, but still. Use me. It’s a complicated project working to a very tight deadline. I can help.”

Rosie met Jessica’s eyes at last. They shared a look of such intimacy that it made Jessica hold her breath for a few seconds. It was like the atmosphere around them shifted. A shiver of something ran through her whole body, but it was tinged with worry over whether they could handle this amount of pressure between them so soon.

“Jess, I’ve got this. Let me do it, please.”

“Okay. I will. I’m here if you need me.”

“I know you are, and thanks.” Rosie stood up, calmly collecting her things. “Honestly, I love the new canteen. It was a great idea. Enjoy your soup. Bye.”

Jessica watched Rosie go, out of the corner of her eye, hopefully discreet enough so she wouldn’t be caught staring. Rosie was so fucking hot and gorgeous and interesting. Jessica craved her so much, in every way. She respected that Rosie was focusing on getting the job done and doing what was right for her career. If only time would speed up so they could be together sooner. This was fucking torture.

After work, she spent forty-five minutes on her rowing machine doing high-intensity interval training. There was nothing like a hard workout to make her forget her problems. Except today it gave her no such relief.

Later in the evening, after Jessica had got into bed, she couldn’t settle, with thoughts of Rosie and their interaction at lunchtime still playing on her mind. Her bedroom was quiet as she typed out a message.

Hey Rosie, I’m sorry about earlier today. I didn’t mean to push you like that. How are you feeling? We haven’t talked much recently, and I just wanted to check in. I hope you’re okay.

She hit send and rested her phone on her chest, amazed at how much she needed to know if Rosie was okay and how she felt. She wished she had Rosie with her now, holding her close.

Her phone lit up her dark room a while after she’d turned the light off. She reached over to her nightstand and picked it up.

Hey Jess, there’s no need to apologise. You were looking out for me. I appreciate it. I’m okay, thank you. How are you?

Jessica replied immediately. Great! I’m glad you’re okay. Worried about you.

Thank you for thinking of me. That’s very kind. But please don’t worry. There’s no need.

Jessica wanted to say so much more. Like that she missed her, and that this agreement was making her sad. Instead, she kept up her side of the bargain. Rosie was the one under more pressure here so all she could do was be supportive. I’m always here if you need me. Goodnight, Rosie. Sleep well.

Rosie hearted the message and that was it.

***

Jessica muted herself on the Teams call and took a sip of water. Her screen was filled with a patchwork of faces. The remaining agenda for the meeting would be led by Rosie. They were four weeks away from the revised target completion date. Given the setback from Tony Hunt and even the flooding, the local authority had given them an extension for the third week in April. Jessica was sure the contractors were working harder and faster than ever, as well as the project team staring back at her on the call. And much of that commitment was down to Rosie and how well she was managing things. It was good to see her, even if just on this video call. Hearing her voice was so comforting. Jessica stared at Rosie’s face. She was so beautiful. Something about Rosie made Jessica feel happy, it was that simple.

Rosie specified the top priorities for the next few days. “Preparations for the bandstand relocation. Tara. What’s the update?”

Tara unmuted. “The parts have been fully dismantled and are waiting to be moved. The crane for the operation is arriving tomorrow. The move will take place the day after. Everyone is due to be off site except for our team and the crane company.”

“Good. We only have one week to reassemble. This will be one of the most intricate parts of the build. We need to make sure nothing is damaged and that it functions as the centrepiece we need it to be.”

Tom unmuted next. “We’re on it.”

“Good. And what about the anchor? Is that still on track to be delivered next week?”

“Yep,” Tom said. “It’s super heavy, so we’ll need a forklift jib crane. I’ve organised this with the designer.”

“Brilliant, thanks.”

“It’s going to look so good,” Tara said.

“I agree,” Rosie said. “Having a huge replica anchor near the waterfront as a nod to the past feels good. I’m glad we’re able to keep the maritime theme. This and the statue of the family is going to bring everything together. Where are we up to with the points of interest plaques? We cannot forget signage at this point in the build.”

Jessica sat back in her chair. When Rosie said she’d be focusing on the project, damn did she mean it. She missed Rosie so fucking much it almost hurt. Them waiting before getting into anything was having a massive effect on Jessica. The intensity of her attraction was only increasing. Jessica didn’t do getting overcome by things in her life, but her feelings for Rosie felt outside of her control. She thought about Rosie all the time, wondering what she was doing and what she was thinking and feeling. She replayed all their interactions in her head because it made her feel good. She found herself staring into space, smiling at the memory of their conversations. At times, she couldn’t get the memory of them having sex out of her head. She was even drinking more water during the day to feel closer to her. And despite all this, the thought of giving her heart to someone still terrified her, even if it was someone as amazing as Rosie. Telling Rosie any of this would not do, at least for now. Plus, Jessica had to get her head back in the game. She’d never been this distracted at work. Thank God Rosie had everything covered on the project; Jessica had been rendered pretty much useless.

“The last thing I wanted to cover is preparations for the grand opening,” Rosie said, jolting Jessica out of her thoughts. “I want it to be big.”

Tom spoke first. “We should have it on a Saturday afternoon.”

“Yeah,” Tara said. “Like a street party that feels welcoming and inclusive to everyone.”

“I like the sound of that,” Rosie said.

“What if we get hundreds of people? Do we need to think of crowd management?” Tom asked.

“I’m not so sure that many people will show up.” Jessica hadn’t said anything in a while. When she did speak, the sound of her own voice seemed distant and out of place even to her. She needed to refocus on this project and get out of her own head. “The town hall was one thing. Getting that many people again shouldn’t be taken for granted.” After winning the project back and going through the experience at the town hall, Jessica couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something missing. She was happy they won but it felt muted in some way, as if everyone had just got on with their lives now that the drama was over.

Rosie gave her screen a stern look. “I wouldn’t underestimate people’s ability to show up for the things they care about.”

Jessica returned Rosie’s stare, lost for words. She knew Rosie’s eyes were on her, speaking to something still unspoken between them.

Rosie’s eyes moved slightly back to the centre. “It’s a massive space with excellent facilities. Large or small, we can accommodate a crowd. I think we should plan to use the bandstand for the event, if everything goes well with its move. Let’s think of getting in a local band and using local caterers. Let’s reach out to some of the participants in the engagement sessions to see if they want to say a few words. Can someone get in touch with Patrick? This will have to be organised in partnership with the local authority.”

“I’ll get right on it,” Tom said.

“Brilliant. Things are shaping up,” Rosie said. “Everyone is doing such a great job. Thank you so much.”

The call ended and Jessica’s screen went blank. There was no word from Rosie, no message or follow-up call like she used to do after meetings. Jessica felt like Rosie was having second thoughts about them. It wouldn’t be hard to understand that she would put her career first, permanently, who could blame her. They said they would wait until Rosie was more established in her career, but what if it was putting an end to the flame between them? It felt like Rosie had stepped further back from her than Jessica thought she would. The thought worried her, but that only proved to her how deeply she felt about her. In the end, there was nothing else to do but continue waiting, keep reassessing how she felt, and not let Rosie see how much she was freaking out or falling embarrassingly deeply in love.

Jessica stood, with a determination to return to her old self. She would do what she did best, put on a front, hide her feelings, and pretend like everything was okay.

***

Jessica put on her hard hat. She strode out onto the site feeling like everything was coming together. Pride filled her chest as she did a three-sixty turn, taking in the beautiful space they’d transformed. It looked like what she had envisioned last year when she first started her design, and when she was little, and she used to daydream about what this place could one day become.

Everyone was in the centre of the park, working on rebuilding the bandstand. She found Rosie talking to the engineers, at the back of the activity. Jessica gravitated towards her. Hard hat, high-vis vest, boots and jeans. This look on Rosie still did things to Jessica. She got butterflies as she walked up to her, for fuck’s sake.

“You came up?” Rosie smiled, widely, once she laid eyes on Jessica. “It’s great to see you.”

“You know me. I keep my schedule as mysterious as I can. I got Des to drive me and Amelia. Amelia’s working with our social media manager to start generating interest for the opening day. That’s her over there. I think she’s doing something for Instagram.”

Amelia held up her phone, talking into it while walking around.

“You guys picked a great time to come,” Rosie said. “We’re almost done with the bandstand.”

John spoke to Jessica. “Moving it has gone smoothly. The new stone steps and cobbled path around the perimeter looks great, I think.”

It added a sense of space around the bandstand and gave it a modern, polished, and inviting feel. “I agree. Good job.”

“Rosie deserves the credit. She has done an incredible job.”

Jessica took the opportunity to rest her eyes on Rosie. There was something different about her. Perhaps surer in herself? Calmer? Whatever it was, it only made Jessica more attracted to her, if that was even possible. “It’s perfect. Thank you, Rosie.”

“You’re very welcome. I’m looking forward to spending the overtime I’ve been building up.” Rosie laughed, as if for John’s benefit.

“Yep, as if!” John laughed with her.

It was good to see them getting along. Rosie had done a great job at keeping John in line over the past year, even better to create a good relationship with him like this. Jessica chose not to respond to the long hours point. It was the reality of the job and what it took for people to make that jump to principal architect. She took it seriously, though, that’s why they employed as many people as they did. Staff costs were huge, but then so were the value of the contracts they kept getting.

“Right, I’m off,” John said. “See you tomorrow, Rosie. Jessica, will you be around?”

“No, I’m heading home later tonight.”

“Well, I’ll see you at the opening then. Nearly there. Cheerio.” John marched off towards the portacabins.

Rosie turned to her, a questioning look in her eyes. “You’re heading home so soon?”

“I didn’t want to get in the way. Are you staying in town?”

“Yes, in the Airbnb. You’re not getting in the way. Everyone’s happy you’re here. Especially me.”

Jessica felt her cheeks blush. It was absolutely ridiculous. She didn’t know what to say.

Rosie continued, kindly ignoring Jessica’s reaction. “I can’t believe we’re nearly finished. I’m looking forward to the opening day.”

“Me too.”

“Are you going to invite your family?”

“Um, yes. I expect so.”

“Your mum?”

“Yes. She’s already got it in her diary.”

“And your dad?”

Jessica stiffened.

“Oh, sorry. I just assumed since it seems like the whole town is going to come.”

Rosie wasn’t wrong in her assumption. Since they’d started promoting the opening day, it had generated a lot of interest, and Jessica had been avoiding the topic of her dad. “It’s fine. There’s no need to apologise.”

Rosie nodded, concern in her eyes but she didn’t go any further. A drill went off behind them, momentarily making it impossible to hear each other. Rosie read something on a clipboard from someone who came up to her. Jessica stared as Rosie signed the bit of paper and handed it back to the person. It was comforting just to look at her.

“More money going out.” Rosie smiled. “But don’t worry, it’s all within budget. Shit, did you want to see it?” Panic filled her face.

“No. It’s absolutely fine. I trust you.”

Rosie held her eyes as the phrase I trust you hung in the air.

“What about you? Are you going to invite your family?” Jessica was very interested in the answer to this question.

“I did, but they’ll be on holiday in Spain. We’re going to arrange a day soon after they get back where we’ll visit all together, including my sister and brother.”

“That’s too bad they won’t be there on the day but it’s great they want to see it. I can’t wait to meet them someday. Shit, I didn’t mean to suggest you had to introduce me to them. Sorry.”

“Jess, of course I want you to meet them. I love that you want to meet them. I can’t wait to meet your mum and your family. You’re welcome to join me and my family when they come to see it?”

“I’d love to. I’ll understand if you introduce me as your mean boss who works you too hard.”

Rosie tilted her head and narrowed her eyes. “It’ll be my awesome boss, Jess. The mastermind of it all. And my friend.”

Jessica nodded, wishing they could be more than that already, worried they might never make it to anything more. “I think we both know you’re the brains behind this.”

“Okay. I’ll take it.” Rosie smiled. “My head’s so massive now. I blame you.”

“A bit more arrogance looks good on you.”

“Confidence. There’s a fine line.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s lovely to see you lean into it.”

Rosie checked her watch. “Sorry, I really would love to chat, but I have to get on. Do you need me for anything else this afternoon?”

“No.” Irrational disappointment surged through her. “We’re good. I’ll be working in the portacabin, mostly. And avoiding Amelia and her pictures.”

Rosie laughed. “Sounds like a plan.”

Jessica watched as Rosie made her way towards the entrance of the park, towards the restoration yard and the new buildings wondering when this waiting game was going to be over, not convinced the end of the project and Rosie’s almost certain promotion was going to be enough time for Rosie somehow. As time was going on, Jessica was caring less and less about how their being together would affect her own reputation and integrity. Feeling as strongly as she did for Rosie put certain things into perspective. But all she could do was wait.

In the back of the car later that evening Jessica looked out of the window while Amelia worked beside her. Thoughts of her childhood filled her brain as other cars floated by. The good times. Happy memories of spending time with her dad, before she knew anything of his dodgy work situation. Playing football in the park with him, going out to get ice cream together. That one time they went on holiday to the coast. Her mum and Susan seemed convinced that he’d changed and become a better person. She’d dismissed it so far. But what if she was wrong?

She had felt different in some way since the town hall. That night, she’d felt connected to her past and her roots. It had felt good. Healing. And she wanted more.

Her dad was getting older, and she might not be able to live with herself if she didn’t at least try to see him again, even if it was an arm’s-length relationship. She didn’t need him anymore. But she felt softer towards him now. She had more empathy for him, he’d made awful mistakes, as he had been so young. The truth was, there was a part of her that was curious to know who he was now, what his life was like and if he knew about the project and what he thought about it. She’d kept him out of her life for so long, and although it pained her every time she acknowledged it, she missed him. Tears filled her eyes. She turned her head towards the window, emotion taking over her.

She texted Susan to ask her for her dad’s phone number, before she could talk herself out of it. Susan’s reply came back straight away with his contact details as an attachment.

Hi Jessica, this is wonderful news! I’m beyond happy to hear you want to reach out to your dad. He will be over the moon. Good luck! xxx

Jessica smiled, feeling something shift inside her. This felt right. She was ready. Inviting him to the opening was the least she could do. He was welcome. It was his town, too. But he wasn’t getting back into her life that easily. He would have to earn it. She didn’t forgive him for fucking up her childhood, maybe she never would, but she could have a civil relationship with him. Anything else above that would have to be based on him actually having changed. If not, she would continue to keep her distance. She would only agree to see him on her terms. One thing she knew for certain was that she’d changed. It almost didn’t matter if he hadn’t. This was about her, not him, in many ways.

The message was short and direct. Starting like she meant to go on. Hi dad, it’s me, Jessica. I got your number from Susan. I hope you’re well. My company is running an event at the waterfront, it would be great if you could be there. Let me know and I’ll send you the details.

She hit send and stared off into space. Perhaps it was a little cold, but she was only able to do baby steps for now. He had a lot to prove if he wanted any warmth from her.

She went to message Rosie to tell her that she’d reached out to her dad, but she stopped. It felt wrong to go to Rosie for support when they had agreed to wait before exploring their romantic connection. They said they’d remain close, but Jessica didn’t want to overstep and ask anything of Rosie. A pang of loneliness hit her, hard. Even though it was difficult, Jessica would wait until the end of time. All she could do was hope that Rosie would find her way to her one day when she was ready.