Page 18
Story: The Architecture of Us
Jessica watched Rosie get her things and leave for the evening. Rosie had looked at her with big open eyes that made Jessica want to both run away from her and fall into her open arms and bear her soul.
The office felt so quiet after Rosie was gone. So empty. She stood at the window, looking for her. Rosie crossed the street, making her way to the underground station on the corner. Jessica had never felt so seen. It excited her but it also really fucking annoyed her. On one level, she loved and respected that Rosie had challenged her, but she hated the suggestion that she play the personal card with every fibre of her being.
Jessica poured some whisky into a chunky glass and took a large sip. She never normally took a drink like this at work, the drinks cabinet was mostly for show, but the past couple of days were not typical in any way.
She sat back down on her black faux-leather chair, defeated. What she’d said to Rosie was true, she didn’t have it in her to do what Rosie was suggesting. It was too much. She’d be willing to do pretty much anything to fix the project, except that.
Jessica couldn’t dismiss it though. Looking at it objectively and removing her personal feelings from the equation, it was a good idea. That was how she always approached things, and this was no different, yet it was her personal feelings. It went to the core of who she was and everything she had been running from.
Jessica took another sip. She reclined in her chair and put her feet up on the table. She stayed like that until the office went dark and next to no noise was coming from the street.
Tony Hunt occupied her mind. There was something off about this whole thing, even going back to the flooding. After a fruitless and unproductive day, the least she could do was call her private investigator and get that slime ball of a politician checked out. She’d worked with a private investigator once before on a dodgy client who had refused to pay after commissioning months of JF Architecture billable hours. She got the investigator’s business card out of her desk drawer and punched in their number.
On Sunday, she took a walk in the park, enjoying the fresh air and change of scenery. It felt so good to be outside. But she was no further forward with her dilemma. Time was running out to make her decision. She circled the main loop, marching around as if the answer to her problems lay at the finish line. It didn’t.
Rosie had messaged her late last night, asking if she was okay. Jessica sat down on a bench to message her back, with no real update.
Still thinking things through. I’ll let you know once I’ve come to my decision.
Rosie replied almost immediately. I’m here if you need me.
Jessica stared at the message. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever felt this supported by anyone in her adult life before. Yes, she had some friends, but they were more like acquaintances. Rich was very supportive, but he was a tough cookie, like her. Her mum meant well. But not since her grandmother had Jessica felt this… held .
Sitting on the bench, she couldn’t help but pause for a moment and look around. It was a glorious park with views towards the city of London. There were walking trails and well-maintained ponds and places of interest denoting the park’s heritage. The trees were native, and biodiversity was still present. All because money and investment had continually been poured into this glorious greenspace. It was packed. Locals and visitors clearly got so much out of this place, an escape from the urban jungle all around them.
The very same opportunity was being denied to the town where she grew up, due to terrible people only interested in making money at the expense of others. It was beyond unfair for the build to be scrapped in favour of more delays, wasted money and then the so-called luxury flats to be built which would only block the view of the river and turn the place into a soulless nowhere town. Her town had a special history, and it needed the park they were building. It was sad that this was allowed to happen in a place where the people accepted shitty deals and weren’t advocating for themselves.
She took a deep breath and found herself clenching her teeth. She eased off her teeth while feeling like she wanted to put up the most monumental fight. If it meant she had to open up a bit and make it a bit more personal she… could?
But if she opened up about herself, it might also mean that someone would make the connection of JF Architecture to her dad’s criminal past. Being tied to him could end the contract with the local authority. Her dad had been out of prison for years and was hopefully living a clean and honest life. But would people believe that Jessica was a normal law-abiding citizen if they ever found out? She had nothing to be ashamed of. Her dad’s life was not hers; that’s why she’d distanced herself from him for twenty years. Surely that had to count for something.
Rosie’s idea was the most compelling, the most high-risk and high-reward strategy that might just save the day. She had a feeling about it, mostly gut-wrenching fear. Doing the difficult thing was, in her experience, the only thing that changed things. Wasn’t it high time she claimed her past and shrugged off this shame she was carrying?
Jessica stood and typed out a message to Rosie, feeling her whole being kick into action, which had to be a good sign: I’m going to do it. Can you meet me at the office in a couple of hours?
Rosie replied straight away: Fucking, yes!!!! You’re a rockstar, Jessica!! Good for you. See you soon.
***
The team assembled in Jessica’s office. This was personal and she wanted to bring everyone in, literally. There was a mixture of continued worry from Friday and hope that there was a plan of action. “Thank you all for meeting so early this Monday morning. I appreciate it. I have an update on Clydebank. There’s no easy way to say this, or rather, I don’t find this easy to say. There’s something I’ve been keeping to myself about the project. Something key.”
Tara and Tom looked at each other, confused.
Rich raised his eyebrows, quickly gauging where Jessica was going with this.
Amelia narrowed her eyes.
She told them she was from the town and that she’d been keeping it quiet because she was a very private person, and she didn’t want people to think she wasn’t objective about the design.
“Rosie and I decided that we could use this to our advantage. In fact, it was Rosie’s idea.”
The whole room looked at Rosie.
She stood firmly by Jessica’s side. She had this calm and determined energy about her. It was helping. It gave Jessica strength to move forward with this.
Rosie spoke with an authority that was growing in her. “We’re never going to win the town back with facts and figures alone. If we need to win their hearts and minds, Jessica has all the heart that’s needed. We need to let people see it.”
There was a lump in the back of Jessica’s throat. Opening up like this to her team, her company, was not easy for her.
“Well, this just got a whole lot more interesting,” Rich said, standing near the doorway. “Good for you, Jess. This feels like something. Nice job, Rosie.”
Rich and Rosie shared a look that Jessica couldn’t place. She exhaled, feeling uncharacteristically shaky, wondering if they ever talked about her and what Rich might have said. “Does anyone have any questions or thoughts about going down this route? About anything I’ve said?”
No one said anything. It was stressful, thinking about how this sounded to them given that she hadn’t told anyone about it already and that this was their only hope to salvage the situation.
Pamela, who Jessica had worked with for ten years, crossed her arms, tight lipped. Jessica hadn’t told Pamela anything substantial about her personal life in all that time. Then again, she had never asked. Was she pissed off with Jessica?
Amelia leaned forward, clasping her hands in front of her on the desk. Her very movement seemed to break the tension. “I can’t believe you never told us. But I get that you had your reasons.” Amelia paused, as if searching for more to say or how best to word what she wanted to say. Instead, she gave Jessica a respectful nod and sat back in her chair, saying nothing more.
“I think it’s so awesome that you’re from there,” Tara said, finally. “Thank you for sharing.”
Pamela spoke next. “It’s your business, Jessica. I respect that you’ve had your reasons for keeping your private life private. I’m happy to be getting to know you a little better. I can see why this project would mean so much to you.”
“Thank you.” Jessica appreciated the team’s reaction. “That means a lot to me.”
“And most importantly, this might actually work,” Noah said. His voice was quiet. “I can see many angles we could use with this.”
“Okay,” Jessica said, snapping out of the controversy and emotion of the moment. “Like I said on Friday, we’re not going to take this lying down. We’ve all worked too hard on this project to let it go without a fight. I’m not letting my hometown down. We’re going to go at them with everything.”
“Yes we fucking are!” Rich said, enthusiastically.
It felt so good to tell people her truth. But the last uncomfortable truth about her dad’s criminal past weighed over her like a politician campaigning for an election who had smoked weed in college. She didn’t want to tell everyone, but it was the right thing to do. Especially for Noah, who would be pissed if she blindsided him like this if it ever got out. “One more thing.”
Everyone looked at her, sharply, including Rosie, sensing another disclosure.
“My dad spent time in prison when I was a kid. He let his businesses be used to clean drug money. If this gets out, I would appreciate it if you let me know as soon as possible and remember that it has nothing whatsoever to do with our project. Is that clear?”
A series of startled faces stared back at her. One by one, she saw a level of understanding come over them. They had her back. It was all she could ask for.
To avoid anyone from having to say anything, Jessica went full throttle work mode. “Tara and Tom, I want you to organise a door-drop to every household in the town and into some surrounding areas. Invite them to sign the petition to save the build, by post or online, and to attend a public meeting in the town hall. Include the key details about the project. Three to five points, maximum, and say something about me. I don’t know what yet. Local woman wants to save the heritage of the town, or something. Rosie will liaise with you on the copy. I’ll have final sign off.”
Tara and Tom frantically scribbled in their notebooks.
“Noah, please can you reach out to local and national news? I’d like our right of reply article to drop on the same day we run the town hall meeting.”
“It might not be that easy to get a spot, given that we’ve been completely tarnished by a powerful politician, but I’ll see what I can do,” Noah said. “There’s drama in it for them, for sure.”
“Thank you. As for the project, we need to go there and speak with people, door to door, if necessary. We’ll need to organise the public meeting in the town hall right away. Rosie” —Jessica met Rosie’s warm and clever eyes— “please can you get in touch with the partners to confirm a date and book the venue as soon as possible?”
“I’ll get right on it.”
“We’ll need banners and pop-ups saying, ‘save the project’ and ‘sign the petition’ all over the place. Tara and Tom, I need you to speak to marketing.”
They both nodded, calculating things already, by the looks of things.
“As much of a splash as possible for the town hall, is what I’m saying. I want the whole case visible in words as well as in pamphlets. Then we’ll host an evening of speeches making the case for why the build matters and defending what we’ve done so far.”
Rosie was staring at Jessica, a mixture of pride, awe and something else. It looked like real affection in her eyes. Jessica paused her thinking on the plans and took a deep breath. It was because of Rosie that she was going to bare her soul. This woman had one hell of an effect on her, that was for sure.
“We should film the presentation and put it all over socials. That’ll get the most visibility in all this, let’s be real,” Amelia said.
Damn, she was right. Once it was out there online, Jessica’s whole story would be visible. She would finally be showing up authentically and integrating her whole self into her career. The idea still terrified her, but she wouldn’t let that stop her. “That’s a great idea, Amelia. Can you schedule a series of posts and liaise with Tara, Tom, marketing, and Noah on the copy for the petition pamphlets? All the information has to be consistent. I’d like to see everything before it goes out, too.”
“Hundred percent,” Amelia said.
“Done,” said Noah.
“Thanks, everyone.” Jessica was struck by the energy in the room and the willingness to go above and beyond the day job of being an architect. “I might be able to get a new housing developer to come on board. This will be critical for the viability of the project and to give confidence for the other contractors to stay, if we can get a big name to join. All this will be for nothing if we don’t turn it into a new contract and get signatures on the bottom line. Rosie and I will lead on this.”
An energetic silence filled the room for a few beats as the plan became clear to all and the challenge lay before them.
Jessica dismissed the room.
Rosie and Rich stayed behind once everyone left.
Jessica felt like she could lift a truck, she was so pumped for this.
Rosie gave her another of those loving and affectionate smiles. Rosie’s smiling at her lately was simultaneously sending Jessica sky high and grounding her. It was such a strange feeling, and during such a high-stakes moment as well. Rosie was making her feel so supported, so understood, and something that felt a lot like intimacy. There was nothing else she could do about these highly unusual feelings other than accept them.
“You two okay?” Rich said, looking between them. “Things are kicking off.”
“Ask me when it’s all back on track,” Jessica said, casually pulling her eyes away from Rosie when all she wanted to do was gaze at her some more. “Come on, we have work to do.”
“Fucking hell, you are back,” Rich said.
“I don’t think we’ve ever seen her like this. At least I haven’t,” Rosie said, eyes shining and full of wonder. She smiled that fucking beautiful smile she kept giving her. Jessica just wanted to kiss her.
Rich eyed Jessica closely. “You know what, you’re right. She is different.”
“I am here, you know? Right in front of you both.”
Rosie toned her smile down, but it was still there. It was crazy how much Jessica loved it.
Rosie looked her straight in the eyes. “Yes, you are.”
***
Jessica sat down in her aunt Susan’s living room, as if no time had passed at all. The décor had changed. Out had gone the floral wallpaper with wooden panelling halfway up the wall, and in had come the neutral tones and minimalist furniture. It was still a warm home and felt like the place she used to spend so much time in as a child.
Martin sat across from her in an armchair holding a cup of tea. He was a grown man now. That still took some getting used to.
“Just throwing a few things together here, love. Won’t be a second.” Susan called from the kitchen, which hadn’t changed a bit.
“She’s going to come out with a full buffet, you know,” Martin said. He took a sip of tea.
Jessica hadn’t eaten properly in days. The idea of some home cooking suddenly felt so comforting.
“I made some sandwiches and scones.” Susan came through with two huge plates of food and put them down on the coffee table in front of Jessica. “Go on then, you two, tuck in.”
They helped themselves. Jessica felt twelve again. It was lovely. Jessica nodded, chewing. Susan’s food always tasted so good.
“Are you getting married?” Martin said, in between mouthfuls.
“No. I’m not engaged.”
“Ah. You just have that look about you. Sorry.”
“I hope we’d all be getting an invite,” Susan said. “If you were. It would mean the world to me to see you walk down the aisle.”
“I’m not getting married.”
“I know. Just remember us, okay?”
“You’ll be two of the first to be invited,” Jessica said, without thinking. It just came out, but it felt right, and she meant it.
“I’ve never been to a gay wedding,” Martin said. “What are they like?”
“They’re just weddings like any other,” Jessica said.
“Makes sense. Sounds good.” He nodded
“Anyway, tell us what’s been going on with the old shipyards. I want the full lowdown.” Susan looked at her, expectantly.
Jessica put her plate down. “Um,” she said once she’d finished chewing. She didn’t know where to start.
Susan continued. “That Tony Hunt is a piece of work. Honestly, the bother we’ve been having with him is off the charts. We want him out.”
Jessica scratched the back of her neck, irritated at the mere mention of Tony Hunt, hoping with every fibre of her being that her private investigator would find evidence of some dirt on him. “I hope he loses his seat at the next election. What he said to the media is completely untrue. The project is going really well, and we had support for it. I’m going to sort it out.”
“My mates got pulled off the site. Some of them lost a week’s wages. That’s a big deal to a lot of the guys around here. Their boss told them it was being run into the ground and the build was going bankrupt. That’s why they all lost their wages.”
Jessica was shocked. “That’s not true and that’s unacceptable they lost wages. That had nothing to do with us, honestly, but I’ll look into it and make sure they receive their pay. Knowing that this happened makes me even more determined to take this guy down.”
“He did make quite a convincing case, love. I know he’s not to be trusted but not everyone does. He can be very charming.”
Jessica looked at them both. There was so much going on in their eyes. They wanted to believe her, but they needed more evidence. “As I said, we have all the accounts and records of what has gone on. Everything is running to plan, and we’ve followed all standard protocols. My company is pretty successful and when we work on things, we normally charge much higher. I’m not saying that to boast, it’s just a fact. The project itself is being managed to a tee. There are no issues there. We have a vision for the place. That’s what matters. I want our town to benefit from a beautiful space that honours the history of it. That’s it. Making money off the site is what Tony Hunt wants to do, not us.”
Susan and Martin put down their cups and plates and leaned forwards, taking in what she had to say, but as if wanting to hear more. She needed to get used to expanding on this. Jessica took a deep breath. “I know I left. It was just something I had to go through. But this is the place that made me. This is my home. I’d got to a place in my life where all the success and the awards started to feel empty. I wanted something more meaningful. I came across the project almost by accident but when I saw it, I got this amazing feeling. It was like, maybe I could put all my skills and experience to good use for this town. I could give something back. Yes, another company could maybe have done it and done a good job, but I wanted to bring my personal knowledge and make sure we got it right. And now, it’s being sabotaged. There’s a reason our town never gets any attention or any funding and I’m sick of it. We deserve more. I don’t want to see the site lying in ruin for another twenty years while it gets argued over. I want to see this through.”
Susan nodded. “I understand, love. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through everything with the papers and that horrible excuse for a politician trying to take you down. It seems stressful. How are you coping with it?”
“I have an excellent team around me.”
“Okay, love. Well, if you ever want a shoulder to cry on or to have a good rant, I’ll be here.”
“Thanks.”
“Was the big wide world everything you thought it would be?” Martin said, curious.
Jessica thought about it. “Sometimes. Sometimes not. I don’t feel like I have much of a community outside of work, whereas you have that here. The older I get, the more I notice it.”
“You’ll always have a community here,” Martin said, kindly.
Jessica felt like she was going to tear up. She never cried in front of people. Yet here she was in her aunt’s living room wanting to crumble. Who the fuck had she become?
“Jess,” Susan said. “I know you don’t want to talk about him, but your dad is overjoyed you’re back in town. And now after all this, I think you should consider getting back in touch with him. He’s my brother and I know how much he misses you.”
Jessica stiffened. The thought of getting back in touch with her dad felt too overwhelming.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Susan’s eyes were kind.
“No, thanks. Now’s not the time. But I am worried his history will be bad for the project. If people were to find out my connection to him, it could be the end. They’re already pushing this idea that something dodgy is going on with this project. It could be catastrophic for me and my company.”
“Is that why you’ve kept your distance all these years?”
“There’s more to it than that.”
“He’s a pillar of the community. Since he got out of prison he’s devoted his life to a life of service. There’s a big difference in him.”
“I’m not sure people ever really change that much.”
“He was always a good person at his core, Jess. We all make mistakes. He did his time. He’s a better man now. Always helping others. Very caring. He would be so proud to hear about what you’re trying to do for the town.”
“I’m not doing this to make him look good.”
“You’re very similar to him, you know. You’re both very stubborn. And brave, and caring. You hide it well, love, but I can see it. You care about this town, and you still care about your dad. I know you have your reasons and it’s complicated, but give him a chance?”
She did need and want to address things with her dad. But she would do it on her own terms and in her own time. “I’ll think about it.”
“Okay, your dad aside. What do you need from us? We’ll do everything we can to support you and your colleagues to save the waterfront.”
“If you could help spread the word about the truth of the project, that would be a massive help.”
“Yeah, cuz. Totally. I can get a few of the lads to put a word in once I tell them who you are and what this is all about.”
“I’d really appreciate that Martin.”
“You know, before all the shit went down, my pals were saying it was a good bit of work. And that it was being run by this hottie.”
“Martin,” Susan scolded, her voice irritated. “Not the time. And our Jessica here is a lesbian. She doesn’t want to hear any of that.”
“That’s my colleague, Rosie.” Jessica thought of Rosie and her heart warmed a bit. She cleared her throat. “Just anything you can do to spread the word locally would help counterbalance the misinformation that Tony Hunt has been spouting.”
“That’s what we’ll do, love.”
“That would be amazing, thank you.”
“I can start a Facebook group, love. Galvanise people into signing your form. If it would help?”
“It would absolutely help.”
“You know Grant Clark from the year above us? He runs the local newspaper now. We play five-a-side together. I think he’s the editor or something. Want me to see if he’ll talk to you and get you an article in the paper about your side of the story?”
Jessica stared at Martin, dumfounded. “That would be perfect, literally.”
“We’ll get this sorted out for you, love,” Susan spoke with conviction. “For you and for everyone involved.”