Page 17

As someone who prided herself on doing a good job and making people happy, her project going down the tubes was triggering Rosie. She’d spent all of Saturday in the office with Jessica brainstorming ideas for how to fix their project and getting largely nowhere. It was late in the afternoon and an evening spent eating junk food and watching mindless TV on her sofa was feeling very appealing right now. It had been a long couple of days for the first week back in January.

The absolute best thing, however, was the twelve-minute voice note from Carla about how great it was going in Paris. Her friend was buzzing with excitement about her project and learning French on Duolingo.

Now, Rosie was rubbing her temples, mildly annoyed at Jessica for repeating the same thing over and over again. Threatening the housing developer and contractors with breach of contract was not going to work.

“We’re not getting anywhere with this, are we?” Jessica said, worry lines visible between her eyes.

“No, we’re not.”

Jessica sighed, letting her head drop back on her chair, exposing her slender neck. She spoke up towards the ceiling. “This type of national bad press can have a way of denting even the most distinguished careers and companies. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to fix this.”

This rare show of weakness from Jessica took Rosie by surprise. Rosie had never seen her like this: fearful and unsure. Her own lack of ideas was stressing her out, as was the fact that her big-ticket project to becoming a principal architect and advancing her career was going to be an epic fuck-up. Even though she knew, intellectually, this wasn’t her fault she still felt, emotionally, somewhere vague inside, that it was all her fault. If only she’d had the wherewithal to spot the threat from the dodgy politician earlier, she could have done more in the town. Maybe hosted a big party on the site or something. But that chance was gone now as they’d been well and truly tarnished.

The only noise in Jessica’s office was of the clock ticking. Its second hand constantly moving forward, toying with them and their lack of ideas.

Rosie felt like giving up. At every angle, they’d been played, and she wasn’t sure of the rules of the game.

Rosie sat up straight as a thought popped into her head.

Jessica lifted her head from the back of the chair, roused by Rosie’s sudden burst of energy.

“ No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it . It’s a quote from Einstein, or his wife, probably. Didn’t he steal lots of her ideas? Anyway, I think. I saw it on Instagram. Isn’t that the issue here? We can’t fix this by playing this shitty politician’s game.”

Jessica looked at her squarely. The fact that she didn’t immediately squash the idea meant she was considering it. “Go on.”

“We have to operate on another level entirely.”

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t know.”

They fell into another of their long silences. Rosie racked her brain for different levels of thinking but came up short. She focused on Jessica sitting across from her, hoping Jessica didn’t feel any less magnificent. She’d taken on the project to make a difference to the town where she grew up. It had been a healing journey for Jessica already, getting back in touch with herself and her roots. Wasn’t that the most important and beautiful thing about this project? “There is one thing that might work. You might not like it.”

“What is it?”

“I think you might need to come clean about your personal involvement with the town.”

Jessica’s eyes narrowed. If looks could kill, Rosie would be dead. “Not going to happen.”

“Don’t you think it might help?”

“No.”

The more Rosie thought about it, the more she knew it was exactly what was needed to save the project. If Jessica hated the idea, pushing it might drive a wedge between them. It might put a stop to any future kissing, which was not ideal because Rosie very much wanted and dreamed about future kissing. Rosie took a deep breath, feeling more certain than ever that this was what she needed to do to grow into herself. She needed to speak her mind and have the hard conversations. It was time to put her newfound confidence and self-belief to the test.

“Jessica,” Rosie exhaled, leaning forward and putting her hands on the desk. “Hear me out.”

Jessica folded her arms, not saying anything. She shrugged in submission.

“What I’m suggesting is that you tell everyone the real reason why you took on this project, that you’re from the town and that it means a lot to you on a personal level to do right by it and see this project through. Talk about your memories and your family. Evoke their emotions. How proud you are to be from there. Talk about how you’re one of them and you have the project’s best interests at heart, obviously. Then you reiterate the facts. Stand up for us. You say that we did do public engagement, and we dig into the source of all these signatures. You could generate perhaps a counter petition with real votes and get your people involved to help. We could do our own TV and press, getting the local authority to back us up, with you and your beautiful story at the heart of it.”

The silence that followed felt deadly.

“No,” was all Jessica said.

Rosie squirmed under Jessica’s glare, but she didn’t let it stop her. “There’s something deeper going on, both for you, and for the town. It’s important the town reclaims the site and its identity in a positive way. They deserve it. Your journey and all that it represents is like a full-circle moment for you and the town itself. You reaching out and owning your story and what you are trying to do for the town is the only thing that’s going to convince people that this politician is lying and that they should trust you instead. It’s the only thing that will work and that’s because it’s true. It’ll get people in the heart, and they’ll believe you more than anyone because you’re one of their own. You just need to cast off your shell and let people see the real you.”

“And what is my story, Rosie?” There was an edge in Jessica’s voice. “Please. Continue. Let me hear it.”

“You’re reclaiming your past just like the town is.”

Another long silence followed.

Rosie wasn’t sure if she was going to get blasted with flames or not.

Jessica searched Rosie’s eyes, angrily, but also as if begging her to stop challenging her like this.

But Rosie stood firm. Even if this risked Jessica backing away from her personally and throwing her off the project, Rosie wasn’t going to back down. If they ever were to have a relationship at some point in the future, as crazy and far-fetched as that sounded, she needed to be able to hold her own with Jessica and challenge her. Rosie wouldn’t want to continue being so deferential, like she was to Jessica as her boss. She wanted them to be equals and to build the foundations for a loving relationship, be it as partners or even just as friends. She wanted to be in Jessica’s life in one way or another, and that meant having the guts to challenge her and call her out on her bullshit, respectfully.

“I could sit here and refuse and say it’s a terrible idea that you’ve had. I could give you some shit excuse about it being bad PR to make it so personal. But the truth is, Rosie, I believe there’s merit in what you’re suggesting but I’m not sure I have it in me to go there. What you’re asking of me is too much. I’ve built my whole life around a certain identity and way of being. You’re asking me to blow all that up. I can’t do it.”

“It won’t ruin your life. Quite the opposite, I think.”

Jessica was quiet.

“And I think it is the only thing that stands a chance at saving the project.”

“I’m not sure about that.”

“I believe in you even if you don’t believe you have it in you to share your truth with the world right now.”

“I’m not convinced your belief in me is warranted. I can do cold-hearted business, and I can do architecture, but a bleeding heart? That I can’t do. They’ve got us in a vice. I don’t see a way out of this smear campaign. We’re fucked.”

Rosie stood and walked over to where Jessica was sitting. She leant on the desk beside Jessica, their legs touching.

The breaking of the boundary at work seemed to startle Jessica for a second. She even gasped.

Rosie looked down at Jessica softly, feeling so much warmth and love towards her in this moment. She reached out and put her hand on Jessica’s shoulder, brushing her thumb over the smooth fabric of Jessica’s shirt, feeling the gentle jut of her collar bone. “I do believe in you, Jess, very much. I’ve been watching you at work for years now, and even before I joined your company I knew about your work. Your work is incredible. People look up to you. You are fucking amazing. But you’ve built up all these walls so that people don’t know who you really are. I’ve had the privilege of getting to know you and what I’ve learned about you has blown my fucking mind. How much you care. How good your heart is. You’ve done all of this on your own. But maybe you don’t have to anymore. Everyone’s going to love you even more when they learn your story and why you took on this project. It’ll make them feel closer to you. You’re a powerful woman, Jess. Coming from humble and troubled beginnings is nothing to be ashamed about. You’ve been changing already by re-connecting with your roots. You’ve already started the process because a part of you knows it’s important to honour it. I know what I’ve suggested sounds difficult, but you can do it. We need you to be the Jessica Frost we all know but with more heart this time.”

Jessica held Rosie’s eyes after Rosie finished with her plea. For a moment, there was real emotion in Jessica.

Rosie put her hand closer to the side of Jessica’s neck and face, in that nook where only lovers would go.

Jessica put her hand on the back of Rosie’s and rested the side of her face on their hands. She sat like this for what felt like ages.

Lifting her head to meet Rosie’s eyes, Jessica caressed the back of Rosie’s hand. “Thank you, Rosie, for what you’ve said. Part of me is pissed off with you but another part is actually listening.”

“I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m so sorry that I have.”

“It’s fine.”

“I know I’ve pushed your buttons on this one. Please believe me when I say that it comes from a good place.”

Jessica nodded, looking off to the side. “Can we leave it there for today? I need to be on my own to think about this.”

“Of course.”

“It’s been a long day.”

“It’s okay, Jess. Take your time. Get some rest.”

Jessica smiled, softly. “You should, too.”

“I will.” Rosie felt so connected to Jessica. “Let me know if you want to talk. I’ll be right there.”