Page 14 of Tangled Hearts

He wasn’t Rock, but he had that same kind of hood calm that said, I got it. The kind of presence that made you feel like even if everything fell apart, somebody still cared enough to try to hold a piece of it together.

“I barely graduated,” she admitted, thumb fidgeting on the edge of her cracked screen. “Played around in school… didn’t think I needed it. I was tryna be grown but I ain’t know grown came with this.”

Her voice trembled, but she pushed through it.

“I just… I want my baby to be proud of me one day. Even if his daddy ain’t around. I want to give him somethin’ better than what I had.”

She didn’t know what she was having but saying he and him felt right.

Hov looked at her before responding. “Then do that. Don’t let this be what breaks you. Let it be the reason you move differently and show everybody that you bigger than the hood.”

She nodded, wiping her face with the back of her hand.

“You gon’ be alright, Kesh,” he told her. “And if you ever feel like you not, hit me. I ain’t got all the answers, but I know what it’s like to come up from nothin’. So I’ll remind you if you forget.”

She laughed a little, wiping her face again. “I don’t even know you like that.”

Hov grinned. “You ain’t gotta know me. Just know I don’t say shit I don’t mean.”

That stuck.

He stepped back, nodding toward the sidewalk. “You good to get home?”

“Yea. I just… I gotta figure out what home gon’ look like now.”

As she turned and walked off, her shoulders squared a little. The weight wasn’t gone, but it had shifted. It was still heavy but now she had something to balance it with.

She wasn’t a statistic. She wasn’t a failure. She was a girl tryna do right, even after doing wrong.

This time, Shakeisha believed she could.

Standing in front of the closet, Knycole and Noir fussed over the outfit Knycole chose to wear.

“Girl, you don’t have to look like you’re going to a damn funeral,” Noir fussed as she tugged on Knycole’s shirt trying to pull it over her head.

Slapping her hand away, Knycole rolled her eyes. “Shit, I feel like I’m going to a funeral. I miss Rock so much, and you aren’t even trying to understand my feelings.”

Noir sighed. “I do understand, but I don’t feel like your life should stop because he’s locked up. Live it up, and when he gets home, you’ll be ready for him. Plus, it’s gonna be some fine ass niggas over there, and I need to replenish by contact list.”

“That’s all your hoe ass is thinking about. And how do you plan on doing that with Paul’s ass standing over you like you’re his property?”

She waved her hands in the air. “He already knows what time it is. He is not my man, and I make sure to remind him daily. Plus, you know how sneaky my ass is. I’ll be fucking in the back, and he won’t even know it.”

“Bitch! I can’t stand you because you’re so fake. You know good and damn well your ass ain’t about to be fucking in the back.” Knycole dismissed her.

The two of them giggled because she was one hundred percent right.

Noir liked to talk to a lot of boys at the same time, but that was where it began and ended.

They would break her off in hopes of sampling what was between her thighs.

She’d string them along long enough until they couldn’t take it anymore, then she’d release them back into the sea.

“Ma said come eat, y’all,” Noir’s younger brother burst through the doors to announce.

It had been so long since Knycole had a real homecooked meal that she didn’t hesitate to run out the room knowing she needed something on her stomach before she put any liquor in it. Plus, Noir’s mama could throw down. She was strict as hell, but a good mother, nonetheless.

“Slow down, girl,” Nakorea, Noir’s mother fussed. “This food ain’t going nowhere.”

Knycole nodded, feeling a little embarrassed.

Nakorea saw the look on her face and lightened the mood. “I know my food is bomb, so I guess you get a pass.” Her warm smile brightened Knycole’s spirit.

“It is. I tried to make a meatloaf like you and failed.” Knycole laughed at her truth.

“You should’ve called and asked for the recipe. I might as well teach you to cook since Noir don’t know how to boil water.” Nakorea threw a soft shot at her daughter.

“Ma, don’t do me like that,” Noir pouted.

Daijon, Noir’s brother, plopped down at the table. “No lie was told,” he chimed in ducking his head when Noir swung on him. “You gotta be quicker than that.” He laughed, making everyone else join in as well.

Knycole sat at the table in a conflicted position.

On one hand, she felt out of place, and on the other, she was envious.

In her opinion, Noir had the perfect life, even though they were all from the same place.

Watching the picture-perfect ghetto family, her heart ached wishing Nick had raised her better.

The feeling of her phone vibrating in her pocket jarred her form her somber thoughts.

An unknown number flashed across the screen, and she prayed for it to be Rock.

“Hello?” she answered eagerly.

“Knyc, it’s me, Nick. I was umm… I was just calling to check in on you to see if you were okay.” Her father’s uncertain voice sounded through the phone.

She was both disappointed and shocked. Disappointment by the caller not being Rock and shocked because it was her daddy. He’d never called and checked in on her but it felt good.

She looked around the table where all eyes were on her. “Yes, I’m good. Just over Noir’s house. Ms. Nakorea cooked and we’re about to eat.”

“Good, good, good. I’ll call you back in the morning.”

“Um, where you at?” She found her voice to ask.

Her heart had already told her where her father had gone but she needed to know for sure.

Knycole loved the idea of living in a peaceful house with her daddy gone, but hated the idea of the house being too silent.

The fear of being alone was debilitating for her and no matter how she tried to hide it or mask it as being, ok ay, she really wasn’t.

“I’m at this nice little, um… I’m in rehab.” He stuttered. Nick knew it was what his daughter wanted but he wasn’t sure he could complete it and stay clean. His demons rode his back like a jockey riding a horse.

Exhaling shakily, she relaxed her body. It felt good knowing he received what she said and he was trying. That was all she could ask for. If God answered prayers, she knew he would deliver more than that. Knycole was going to be patient and still.

“Knyc?”

“Yes?” Knycole’s eyes misted—a reaction to so many emotions swarming her at once.

“I love you.” For the entire two-minute call, he was uncertain, but when it came to saying those three words, his voice held confidence.

“Yea, me too,” she replied before ending the call and subtly wiping her eyes.

“You good?” Noir asked.

“Yes. Now let’s eat because I’m hungry.” Knycole smiled while her inner emotions ran wild. Silently, she prayed to have a good night because she didn’t know if she would be able to continue to tame her feelings.

“On Me” by August Alsina and Layton Greene shook the floor that all the girls were dropping it low on while circling their hips.

Noir had no reservations as she bent over making her ass cheeks clap.

The ripped jeans she wore did nothing to stop her nice round ass from giving a round of applause.

She was nice with twerking, but Knycole gave her a run for her money.

Usually, she would be bent over too. However, she just wasn’t really feeling it.

“That’s my song,” Noir said out of breath. The idea of being with a man who took everything on him was every girl’s ghetto dream life and in the spot with some high rollers, they were all showing out.

“I can tell.” Knycole sipped from her Jamaican Me Happy wine cooler.

“Why you so dry?” Noir asked, both concerned and annoyed.

“I just have a lot on my mind, and I’m a little paranoid. You know how these niggas get. They’ll start shooting if a fly buzzes in their ear,” Knycole said in a joking tone, but was dead serious.

Noir nodded. “You ain’t lying. But just chill, and if a fight looks like it’s about to break out, we’ll leave.”

“Cool.” With that, Knycole decided in her mind to enjoy the moment.

Although she was willing to live a little, that didn’t stop her from keeping an eye on everyone in attendance.

It was just something about the people from the other side.

Even the women were down to scrap and shoot at the drop of a hat.

Knycole was far from scary, but she was also far from stupid and knew regardless of anything, she couldn’t win a fight if twenty bitches were jumping on her.

So while she chilled, she was going to be on high alert.

“Y’all good over here?” Paul swaggered over to them looking good.

Noir’s eyes appraised him from his curly fade to his fresh Retro Jordans. He was clean, which wasn’t new to her. One thing about the men on the Eastside, they could dress their asses off.

“Where yo’ ass been?” Noir asked with nothing but fake attitude dripping off her.

Knycole wanted to laugh so bad but decided against it since she didn’t want to mess up her girl’s game.

“Chill out with all that. I was chopping it up with my big homie,” Paul said, rubbing his hands together.

“Yea, let me find out.” She twisted her lips, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

“Girl, you’re so damn extra.” Knycole rolled her eyes.

“That’s your girl. She’s hell, man,” Paul directed to her with a friendly smile as if they were familiar.