Page 5

CHAPTER 5

Zoey

I roll over as my phone rings for the second time. Grabbing it, I see Matt’s name flash across my screen. Two calls in a row have me shooting up in bed and my heart racing.

“Is everything okay?” I answer.

“Ummm… Yes, but I could I really use your help, Zo.”

I exhale deeply, and my shoulders relax. “What is it?” I ask.

“Could you meet me at the rink in twenty minutes?” His voice comes out hopeful.

I pull my phone away from my face to check the time. “I guess. Why will you be at the rink at six in the morning on a Monday?”

“You’re a life saviour. I’ll explain everything there.”

We say goodbye, and I quickly change into a pair of jeans, a T-shirt, a hoodie, and knee-high boots, not sure how long I’ll be in the cold. I grab a peppermint mocha on my way, needing something to help wake me up. Caffeine has never really done the trick for me, but sugar does.

When I pull into the parking lot of the hockey rink Matt and Josh’s rec team plays at, it’s full. I manage to find a spot on the far side of the lot and make my way inside. I check my phone quickly and see he’s told me which of the rinks inside he’s at. I make my way through the building, taking in all the kids in their hockey gear and their very tired-looking parents bundled up and sitting either on the bleachers or standing at the boards. Every time I’ve been here, it’s been with Liv to watch one of the guys’ games. This is a whole different environment.

Rounding the corner, I see Matt dressed in his skates, pants, and a hoodie with Jayden strapped to his chest.

He smiles when he spots me. “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” he says.

“You going to tell me why you dragged my ass out of bed at the ass crack of dawn?” I ask, a little grumpy about the situation.

He grips the back of his neck like he does when he’s nervous, one of those ticks you tend to pick up from people when you spend enough time with them. “So… I… Ummm… I coach this kids’ hockey team, and I need someone to watch Jayden. No one knows I coach, and you’re the only one that’s spent a ton of time with Jayden, and I really didn’t want to bother Liv when she has Cate, and I really, really didn’t want to drive all the way out to my parents’.” The look he gives me is pleading, and as much as I try and hold my resolve and say no because I’m not some on-call babysitter, I deflate and give in.

I reach my hands out, and he passes me Jayden before taking the baby carrier off and leaving it for me.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you. You really are a life saver,” he says, kissing my cheek before moving towards the ice.

“We’ll be talking about this afterwards, Matthew,” I call.

He gives me a solemn look and nods.

I watch as Matt calls the team to meet at centre ice. The kids look to be seven or eight, and I’m surprised by how well many of them move in skates. He runs them through some drills, and I take in how good he is with these kids. He takes the time to work one-on-one with some of the ones that are struggling.

I get the baby carrier secured on me and Jayden settled, pulling up a book on my phone. As I’m halfway through the first page, a man sits next to me.

“So, which one’s yours?” he asks, and I look over at him. He’s handsome, probably in his late thirties with dark-brown hair with a little salt and pepper around his temples. The smile he gives me is soft and inviting. The start of a dimple appears in his left cheek, obscured by a light dusting of stubble.

I smile. “None of them. I’m friends with the coach, I’m just babysitting for now.”

He nods. “I didn’t know Coach Carter had any kids,” he says.

I’m not sure what to say; it’s really not my place to go around spilling his secrets. Avoiding the whole story of what’s happened, I settle for, “Yup, this is his son.”

He runs his hands up his thighs, rubbing them on his jeans. My eyes can’t help but snag on the veins in his hands and arms as they move. Something about them has me wanting to feel them under my hands.

“So, you and Coach Carter...” he starts.

“Are friends,” I finish for him. “His sister is my best friend. I’m just helping him out this morning.”

He nods a few times, like he’s formulating a plan of some kind. We sit in silence until Matt dismisses the kids and one of the boys comes up to this mystery man. He taps him on the head, and the kid makes his way to the dressing room with the rest of the kids. Matt eyes me and the new guy before joining the kids.

We enjoy some small talk until his son is done.

As he gets up to leave, he turns to me. “I’d love to take you to dinner sometime,” he says, and I smile. It’s been a while since I’ve met a nice guy organically like this. All of my recent dates have been horrible online dating experiences.

“I’d love that.”

His grin widens. “Great.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a business card. “Here’s my card, my cell’s on there. Just shoot me a text, and we can make plans.”

I take the card from him, and our fingers graze. I immediately notice there’s no instant spark that has me wanting him to pull me into him, but maybe that’s something we can build over time. “Sounds like a date,” I say, and he leads his son out of the rink.

Watching them leave, I see Matt leaning against the wall outside the dressing room. His jaw looks tight as he stares at me. He pushes off the wall and walks towards me. “Going on a date with Dean Baxter?” His tone is on the edge of accusation and something else I can’t quite decipher.

“Yes. Do you have a problem with that?” I ask, really not liking the way he’s acting. He has no right to say who I can and can’t date, so what is the point in asking?

“Nope, just curious,” he grinds out.

“Good. Now can we circle back to you calling me to come babysit for you?”

He sits beside me and looks down at his son, who’s peacefully asleep in the carrier. I can’t help but to look down and take in the adorable little boy snuggled against my chest right now.

“I’m sorry for calling you,” Matt eventually says, breaking the silence. “I didn’t know what to do. You’re the only person I could think of that was close that I knew I could trust unconditionally with him and didn’t have children of their own they’d have to wrangle. I know it wasn’t cool to just expect you to drop everything and show up. I appreciate you. I know I’ve asked a lot of you recently, so whatever you need from me, you’ve got a no-questions-asked favour.”

“I think you owe me a few,” I say with just enough levity in my voice to not sound like a bitch, but seriously enough that he knows I mean it.

He looks at me, making eye contact, and nods. “You’re right. You’ve got a few no-questions-asked favours from me.”

“Okay, well, now that we’ve cleared that up, why don’t you take me to breakfast? I’m starving.”

Matt laughs. “Why am I not surprised?”

I grin. “Because you know I require my daily dose of morning sugar and food to function.”

“Let’s go.”

When we walk into the restaurant, it’s extremely empty. I shouldn’t be surprised, it’s a Monday morning and everyone else is either at work or school. We find a booth in the corner and settle in. While I browse the menu, Matt makes a bottle for Jayden and feeds him. Jayden seems to be beginning to form an attachment to Matt, which is amazing. I know it was one of the things he was most worried about. He takes his bottle from him easily, and Matt tells me he’s been sleeping in longer stints, which has been great for Matt’s sleep, too.

“It must be weird being home all the time with a baby all of a sudden,” I say.

Matt nods while watching Jayden guzzle down his bottle. “It is, but it’s also been kind of amazing. I never planned Jayden, but even just having him for a week, I can say I’m glad he came into my life. I still have so much to figure out and life is crazy now, trying to make a new schedule around his feedings and naps, but it’s so worth it. He smiled at me for the first time the other day, and I swore my heart stopped in my chest.”

Our waitress comes over and takes our order. She can’t seem to look away from Matt feeding Jayden, and I can’t blame her. Matt’s a good-looking guy, always has been. His brown hair is thick and has a slight curl to it that when it grows out a bit, like it has recently, it flops onto his forehead. He’s let his beard grow out more than I’ve ever seen him do before, and something about it sends tingles through me.

I mentally slap myself. Matt’s always been forbidden fruit. I can window shop with Matt. I can stare at him from afar and acknowledge it would probably be amazing to go for a roll in the sheets with him. He’s probably picked up some techniques over the years. But I also know I do relationships. I don’t do one-night stands, and I don’t do casual. Matt is very much the opposite. So, to prevent any issues, I’ll watch and never touch.

“He looks just like you,” the waitress says to Matt as she puts a cup of coffee in front of him.

Matt looks up at that. “Thanks,” he says.

When she leaves, I ask, “So, how long have you been coaching this kids’ team?”

His eyes flicker to me then back to the bottle. Seeing Jayden’s finished, he puts the bottle on the table and moves to burp Jayden. He does it all in silence, as if he’s taking his time to answer the question.

“I started my first year back from Harvard. I felt like I was missing something. Especially with Gi being in San Fran for school and Liv was living her own life, and I had moved out of my parents’ house. I found a posting looking for a coach for a kids’ team, and I sent them an email. The dad had heard of me from my time in high school and even looked up some of my university games. They said they’d love to have me, and I’ve stuck it out since. It’s been amazing watching the growth of the kids. I’m not coaching the same team I started with. I started with these kids about two years ago.”

I run my finger over the lip of my cup of orange juice. “You looked like a natural out there with the kids. You really took the time to have little one-on-ones with some of them and listen to them. It only goes to show how great of a dad you’ll be. And just wait, one day you’ll be out there coaching Jayden’s team, and maybe he’ll follow in daddy’s footsteps and play hockey for many years to come.”

Matt clears his throat and readjusts himself, looking anywhere but my face.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“Nothing,” he says as he pulls at the collar of his shirt. He settles Jayden in his car seat and takes a long sip of his coffee. “Enough about me, Zo. How are you? How is it adjusting to being done with school?”

It’s my turn to take my time answering the question, because I’m not entirely sure how I feel except lost. I’m still not sure what I’m going to do. I’ve passed my bar exam, and I’m an officially licensed lawyer and could apply to a ton of firms, but the thought of doing that day in and day out doesn’t bring me the joy I hoped it would. The most content I’ve felt in the last few months was being at Matt’s with Jayden. Something about helping someone who desperately needed help brought me joy.

“I’m not exactly looking forward to moving in with Henry again, but it is what it is,” I say, and Matt raises a brow. Over the last year, he’s begun to do that when he can tell I’m holding something back from him.

“Zo, you know you can tell me, right? I won’t tell anyone, not even Liv.”

I know he’s telling the truth. Matt has always been a vault for his sisters’ secrets, and he’s kept a few of mine, too. I really need to talk about this because I’m just out here floating in the open ocean with no land on the horizon.

“I’m not sure I want to be a lawyer,” I finally say.

He settles back in the booth. “Okay. Wow. I was not expecting that. You know you don’t have to be one if you don’t want to, right? It’s your life to do with as you please.”

I run a finger through the condensation on my glass. “I feel like by not being one, I’m letting my family down. My brothers did so much to make sure I could get into a good university and succeed in life. By not using the degree they worked so hard to make sure I could get feels like a slap in the face to them, like I’m not grateful. I watched them work all those jobs to make sure we had food at home and the bills were paid. They helped me with my homework and were always there when I needed them.” I wipe at an errant tear that slips through my barriers. “I couldn’t stomach letting them all down, Matt.”

Matt reaches across the table and takes my hand, and I take a deep breath. “Oh, Zo, you need to know you’d never be letting your brothers down. As an older brother, I can tell you that all I want for both my sisters is for them to be happy and live the life they want. I don’t want them changing or doing anything to fit what they think I expect of them. I know it’s not entirely the same, your childhood was very different from mine, but I do know your brothers love you dearly.” He squeezes my hand, and I offer him a weak smile.

“Thanks, Matt.”

“Zo, you should talk to Henry, maybe having a one-on-one with him will be easier than all five of them. I’m sure they’ll understand.”

I nod, because I know there’s some truth to his words, but I don’t think I’m ready yet.