Page 27

CHAPTER 27

Zoey

I spend so much of my week helping Maggie with getting ready for the gala that I don’t see Matt except for our usual Monday and Wednesday mornings. On Friday night, Liv texts and asks me to come over Saturday morning. She’ll have breakfast and wants to talk. I tell her I’ll be there but spend all night anxious about what she wants to talk about. Liv should know better than to text me that far in advance with an I want to talk.

I don’t sleep well at all. I’m constantly tossing and turning and even waking up with anxiety. When I finally say fuck it and get out of bed, I throw on some sweats and a comfy shirt and hoodie before grabbing my keys and purse and leaving. If Liv’s going to give me anxiety, I’m showing up to her house butt-fuck early to get some answers.

When I pull up to the buzzer pad outside their place, it’s 6:30 a.m. Liv doesn’t answer the first time, so I buzz a second time and she finally answers.

“Yeah?” her groggy voice comes through the speakers.

“Let me in.”

“Zo?”

“Yeah, now let me in.”

A sound comes through, and the gate opens. I park quickly and dart to catch an elevator. When I get to their door, Liv is pulling it open before I have a chance to knock.

“What’s going on?” she asks, rubbing her eyes.

“Ummm, you texted me last night you wanted to talk this morning.”

She stops rubbing her eyes, and they widen. “Oh, fuck.” She fully takes me in and wraps her arms around herself. “I’m so sorry, Zo. It was late, and I wasn’t thinking. Everything’s all good. We’re all good.”

Some of the tension leaves me, but it won’t all leave until I know what’s going on.

“Have you eaten anything or had any coffee?” she asks, and I shake my head.

She turns on her feet, and I follow her to the kitchen, where she turns the coffee pot on and starts grabbing ingredients out of the fridge. When the coffee’s done, she pours me a cup and adds a healthy dose of flavoured creamer before handing it to me.

“So, really it’s both Josh and I who wanted to talk to you. He’s still in bed. Cate wasn’t feeling well last night, and he stayed up with her.”

I nod and watch as she makes her way around the kitchen, making us breakfast. I hear Cate through the baby monitor and collect her from her crib and bring her with me back into the kitchen.

When Liv spots us, she smiles. “Does your Aunty Zo got you?” she says to Cate, and I adjust her on my hip.

“I do. This little girl looks a little snotty.” I grab a tissue and give her nose a wipe.

“Yeah, I think she’s getting some kinda cold. Josh was standing in the bathroom with the shower on high heat at one point last night. I don’t know how he troopered through the whole night, but he did.”

Cate’s quiet as we sit and watch Liv cook, but she holds on to me pretty tight. When Liv finishes, she plates everything and heads to wake up Josh. He offers me a smile and a good morning when he sees me, but beelines over to take his daughter from me.

“How is my baby girl feeling this morning? Are we feeling better?”

That girl lights up when she’s in her daddy’s arms. She’s still snotty and I can tell she doesn’t have her usual energy, but she’s happy to be in her daddy’s arms. I hand him the tissue from earlier, and he gives her nose a wipe. We eat our breakfast before Josh finally turns to me and starts.

“So, Olivia mentioned you’re considering a career change.” My eyes flick to her, and Josh steps in. “She only mentioned something because I was telling her about a position I was considering creating and she thought you might be a great fit.”

That piques my interest, and Liv’s forgiven for spilling that secret.

“I’m looking to create a position that would have someone working with both my company and the Cyclone. In taking over the team, I’m wanting the organization to be more involved in the community and more involved in giving back to the people who have supported the team. I’m looking for someone who can plan and run fundraisers and community outreach events for both organizations. You’d work pretty independent of any other management, reporting directly to me and my VP. As this is a new position, I’m wanting someone who is proactive and can take the lead in coming up with ideas and drumming up interest. Olivia mentioned you’ve been working with your sister-in-law with the planning of the gala for food banks in the area that’s coming up just before Christmas. That with your legal background, I think you’d the perfect person for the position.”

I stare at them, dumbfounded. I’m sure not how to wrap my head around this. I’ve just been offered a position with one of the largest companies in the city and with an NHL team. I’m not into sports, but I know what a big deal that is.

Josh leans forward, resting his arms on the table. “You don’t have to accept right away. I know this is a big deal and something you’ll want to think over. I’m having my HR department draft a contract, and they’ll send it your way to review. If you have any issues with it, please let me know. And know I won’t be upset or offended if you don’t want the job, but I do agree with Liv that you’d be a great fit.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

Liv reaches forward and squeezes my hand. “Like Josh said, you don’t have to say anything right now. When he first mentioned it to me, I immediately thought of you. We wanted to talk to you about it right away, because if you’re not interested, he’ll need to get the position posted, but it’s yours if you want it.”

I sit back in my chair, and my mind continues to go a million miles a minute. “I’ll review the contract and get back to you as quickly as possible.”

“Thanks, Zoey,” Josh says. Cate begins to fuss, and he stands and takes her from Liv and paces with her.

“No, thank you.”

My first thought now is I want to tell Matt. I want to share this with him. I won’t make any decisions until I read the contract, but my gut instinct is to take it. Even if it’s something I only do for a short time, it will be great for my resume, and it will also be an opportunity to help people. If I’m given complete control, like Josh said, I’d be able to help people like my parents. That hits me like a ton of bricks. I never thought I’d be able to do that, and I may have just had the most amazing opportunity dropped in my lap.

I stand and hug Liv, squeezing her tight and whispering, “Thank you,” before I head to my car then head straight to Matt’s.

Someone recognizes me and lets me into the building, even though I know they shouldn’t, and I jog towards the elevator, excitedly hitting the up button. When I get to Matt’s door, I stop myself from banging on it like a fool and knock at a respectable volume.

Matt opens the door with a look of confusion, but when he sees me, he lights up. “Hey, Bug.”

“Hey.”

We stare at each other for a second before he reaches for my hand and pulls inside, closing the door behind me.

“I missed you,” he whispers as he wraps his arms around my waist and mine come up and around his neck.

“Me, too.”

He leans down to kiss me, and I feel like a giddy schoolgirl when his lips meet mine. He kisses me lazily, like he’s not looking for anything more from me than this kiss right here, and that means everything. He’s proving over and over that he’s respecting my boundaries.

When he breaks the kiss, he rests his forehead on mine and asks, “What’s up? I’m sure you didn’t come here just to kiss me.”

I grin up at him. “And what if I did?”

He grins right back. “That would make me a very happy man.”

“Well, as much as I would do that, I didn’t today.”

Matt takes my hand, and I follow him to the couch. He sits in the corner and pulls me down beside him, and I instinctively curl into his side as his hand comes to my hair and he runs his fingers through it.

“So, ah, Josh offered me a job.”

His fingers only pause for a second before they continue making their way through my hair. “What kind of job?”

The excitement is radiating through me all over again. “It’s a new position. It’s one that would be in charge of community outreach and fundraising. I would be working with both Josh’s company and the Cyclone. I’d be able to put my law degree to work with my understanding of contracts, and”—I sit up and turn to look at him—“I’d also be able to help make a difference in the community.”

“That sounds amazing, Bug. I’m so happy for you.”

I lean back into his side, wanting to open up to him some more, but not sure if I can do it while looking at him. “I think I’d want to do something to help people like my parents. People who are victims of addiction. I wasn’t able to help them when I was a kid. Really, I didn’t notice much of it back then. Henry and the boys kept me pretty well guarded from all of that until I was in high school.” I take a deep breath, fighting my tears, and lean into Matt more when he starts massaging my scalp. “Maybe we can do something for children of people with addiction, ones who don’t have family the same way I did who were there to protect me.”

Matt kisses the top of my head and holds his lips there. “You’re so strong, Bug,” he whispers against my hair, and his words break a dam I didn’t know I was holding together with every last piece of my will. It crumbles, and my tears fall.

“I missed them so much as a kid. I was always wondering why Mommy and Daddy didn’t love me, why they didn’t want to spend time with me. I loved my brothers, I still do, but it was never the same. I was the youngest, so I always wondered what I did to make them never want to be home. I got to see how much your parents love Liv and you and Gi, and all I wanted was that love from my parents.”

Matt pulls me in tighter.

“As I got older, I realized it wasn’t my fault, but it always felt like something was missing. Like I’d never be complete until my parents loved me.”

“Oh, Bug. I’m so sorry you went through that. I’m sorry I never knew you were experiencing all of that. You need to know you’re so loved in the world. You have so many people in your corner.”

A sob leaves me, and he whispers, “Come here.”

I move and straddle his lap as he wraps his arms around my waist and holds me so tight it’s as though he’s willing all my fragile little pieces to stay together. I cry into his shoulder, allowing all of this pain to leave me. I can’t remember the last time I cried about my parents. It was probably after my high school graduation. I wasn’t surprised when they didn’t show up for my college or law school graduations. After high school I built this wall to avoid any disappointment and hurt when it comes to them, but it seems as if it only held for so long.

Matt whispers, “You’re so strong,” and, “I’ve got you,” into my ear as he rubs a hand up and down my back. After a few minutes, my crying stops and I just hold him, taking comfort in his arms.

When I hear Jayden through the baby monitor, I’m immediately off his lap and making my way to Matt’s bedroom. “I need baby cuddles,” I say, and Matt nods.

The joy on Jayden’s face when I lean over his crib helps to slowly patch that wall. I make a face as I pick him up, and he giggles. I smell his diaper right away and quickly change him before we join Matt.

“Someone left a little gift when I grabbed him, but he’s all taken care of now and I think we’re ready for some nom-noms.”

Before heading to the living room, I grab a jar of puree out of the cabinet. I give him a partial bottle before I get him settled in his highchair and feed him a few bites. He seems to really love mushy peas, not sure why because that just sounds gross, but you do you, boo.

When he’s done and I’ve burped him, we join Matt on the couch who’s been watching us this whole time. Matt walks his fingers up Jayden’s tummy, and he giggles.

“You’re so good with him,” Matt muses.

“He makes it so easy. If only all kids were as easy as him.”

Matt nods slightly. “Do you want kids?”

I smile. “One day, yeah. I’d love a house full of them. I may have had crappy parents, but I loved growing up with my brothers.” I turn to face him. “Do you want more kids?”

“I did before.” He tucks a piece of hair behind my ear. “But with you? One hundred percent. As many as you want.”

I blush. “A little forward and early to be asking me to give you kids,” I joke.

He grins and shakes his head a little, like he thinks I’m funny. “I’m all in, Zo. I’m not holding anything back. I’m not asking for them now. I just want you to know I’m on the same page.”

“You, Matthew James Carter, are surprising me.”

He strokes my cheek, and Jayden reaches for his hand. We both chuckle before his attention returns to me.

“Only in good ways, I hope.”

I nod. “Only in good ways.”

He places a soft kiss on my lips and takes Jayden from me before lying on the ground with him. I didn’t plan to spend my entire day with them, but that’s exactly what I find myself doing. Playing games and laughing with these two boys who are slowly changing my life.