Page 28

It was weird to hear him call me that. Even if it was true, I wasn’t his chief, and he had an authority about him that was easy to defer to.

I winked at him and reached over to give him one more pat. “It’ll get easier. And less lonely.”

He blew out a puff of air and said nothing, but the silence that fell was more comfortable this time and the weight of the night started to ease.

Can I come over?

Anytime. Knives could use some cuddles.

Like I was going to say no. Tameron had been quiet lately. His texts had been just a little off. I’d asked him a few times if everything was okay, and he’d insisted it was. He was fine. Just busy. He was working out at the gym more often and spending more free time at Dax’s shop.

A part of me wanted to be jealous about it.

I didn’t love that my brother got to see him more than I did, but I knew this was good for him.

I knew that giving him a sense of both purpose and independence was integral to his recovery.

And belief in himself that going deaf didn’t mean he had to lose anything but his hearing.

Can we be voice-off?

That was a surprise. He rarely wanted that. He was still eager to keep every sound he could, especially since his loss was still progressing. His latest audiogram hadn’t been great. One side was deteriorating faster than the other, which gave him a constant sense of imbalance.

The hearing aids were the only thing that helped even things out.

But I also knew from family members who weren’t profoundly Deaf that struggling to hear all the time was mentally exhausting, and it did something to my insides that I could be that safe space for him.

That also probably meant he wasn’t asking for what he needed at home as often as he should. I knew it wasn’t Nash, and I doubted it was the other guys. This was obviously Tam’s issue, and it wasn’t my job to push him.

But maybe…maybe I could help.

I’ve been voice-off all day. Happy to extend it.

Be there in twenty.

Door’s open. Just come in.

I was currently rotting on the couch with Knives sleeping on my chest. She was going to lose her shit when he came in, of course. She always did. But I was basking in her little cuddles while I could. It was my first real day off—no station, no gym—in forever.

I always felt a strange sense of guilt when I had a day of doing nothing. My parents hadn’t liked it when my siblings and I were “unproductive,” as they had called it. And it was never a bad thing, but there were times I’d wished they would have just let us be.

Knives began to purr louder as I shifted just slightly to the left. I scratched my fingers along her scruff and she yawned right in my face, then settled her chin on her paws. My chest twisted and I lifted my phone, very carefully taking a selfie.

I’d save that one for when Tameron was having a really bad day.

And speak of the devil. The lights flashed before I heard the door open, and a moment later, he appeared. He made an aww face, but it was only seconds before Knives was shoving her tiny claws into my chest and taking off at breakneck speed.

‘Not happy to see me,’ he signed.

I scoffed and jerked my head toward the spot on the couch beside me. ‘She’s feeling wild.’

He grinned and shucked his jacket, dropping it on Dax’s empty chair before sliding along the cushions. I let him settle for only a moment before dragging him down beside me. His body was tense, but he gave a small, happy hum as he settled in.

His ear pressed against my chest, and I could feel the distinct lack of a hearing aid attached to his skull.

‘Hey,’ I signed, tapping him. He shifted backward so he could give me signing space. ‘You drive here without them on?’

His eyes were a little wary. ‘Yeah.’

‘Afraid?’

He bit his lip, then nodded. ‘A little. I turned on the music really loud. It sounded nicer that way than with…’ He tapped behind his head.

I knew that complaint well. My mom had residual hearing and was obsessed with Christmas music during the holidays, but she never ever listened with her devices on. She hated the way it sounded, so I’d put in earplugs and she’d crank the speakers as high as they would go.

‘I think it was too loud. Got weird looks from people.’ He pulled a face, and I wanted to praise him for being more expressive, but I didn’t want to draw attention to it either.

‘Fuck them,’ I signed slowly.

He blinked, then burst into laughter and shrugged. ‘Yeah.’ He settled back down against me, pinning my arm to my side. It was an unspoken request for silence, and I was more than happy to give that to him. I wanted to rot, and I was happy to do it while feeling his heart beat against my ribs.

Knives joined us a little while later, purring hard enough that her entire body vibrated as she settled in the space where our bodies were touching. Tameron let out another happy hum and snuggled her close.

It was nice.

It was too close to the fantasy of what I wanted my future to look like, but for the moment, I let myself bask in what could be.

“Hi.”

It had been hours since Tameron had shown up at my door, voice-off, anxiety high.

It was strange to hear him speak now, but he was fresh from a shower and hovering in my bedroom doorway.

We hadn’t established whether or not he was staying, but he had his shirt off and a pair of sweats slung low on his hips.

‘Come in,’ I signed.

He nodded, closing the door behind him, then he hooked a finger over his ear. “They’re on.”

“Okay,” I said slowly. “Feeling better?”

He let out a tiny puff of air as he nodded. He’d been quiet during dinner and tense while we watched a few episodes of Schitt’s Creek , but he seemed…I didn’t want to say better now, but at least more relaxed.

And definitely more sure of himself. He walked over and spun me in my desk chair, settling his body between my legs. His gaze was caught on my crotch. I was soft but wouldn’t be for long.

“See something you like?” I asked.

He laughed and pressed the tips of his fingers to my shoulders. “What’s it like sucking cock?”

Yep. My dick was immediately on board. “Uh…do you want me to show you?”

“No, I…” He licked his lips slowly. “I think I want to see for myself. I mean, I’m familiar with how it works, but…was it hard to get used to?”

I touched his chin, drawing his gaze to my mouth. “About as hard as eating out a woman. So to speak.”

“Save your puns,” he said, and I burst into a small fit of laughter.

“Fine. Sorry. I mean it though. It’s different, but it’s not worse. And it’s not better. It might help not to try and compare the two, you know?”

He blew out a puff of air, then sank to his knees without preamble. I grunted in surprise as his shoulders knocked my legs wider apart, and he stared up at me with big doe eyes. “I get what you’re saying.”

Cupping his cheek, I ran my thumb over his bottom lip. His scruff was rough against my palm. He shivered, then licked his lips and reached forward, curling his fingers in the waistband of my sweats.

“Yes?”

I nodded, then gripped the arms of my chair to lift my ass. With a firm tug, my sweats and boxers slipped down my thighs and settled around my calves, and Tameron ran his rough palms up the insides of my legs.

I couldn’t take my eyes off where his skin met mine. He was more tan than I was, and there were flecks of oil in the corners of his nails. His biceps flexed, the faint, fine-line tattoos dancing with the movement.

“I don’t want to get this wrong,” he whispered.

I lifted my hand. ‘You won’t.’

He nodded, then his lips parted as he took my cock in his hand and held it. I didn’t think I’d ever been harder in my life. I pulsed in his grip, the tip wet as he gave it a single stroke, then he breathed in deep through his nose, leaned forward, and fit the head just past his lips.

There was a slight graze of teeth, but I didn’t hate it. My lungs sucked in a sharp breath, and I fought off a lingering tickle from the fire. It was easy to ignore, especially with the way he was looking up at me again.

He was fucking beautiful like this—his mouth a perfectly round O , his cheeks dark with a flush, his hair mussed because—oh. I’d done that. My other hand was gripping him by the back of the head, and I hadn’t even realized it.

‘Sorry,’ I signed quickly. I moved to take my hand away, but he grabbed my wrist, guiding my fingers back to where they’d been.

“Please,” he said, pulling away from me to speak. “Guide me.”

My body gave a single, almost violent shudder. A moan lodged itself in the back of my throat, and my knees felt weak as I nodded and gripped him again. The more I tightened my hand, the more his body relaxed into mine.

His lips softened and then they were on me again. I gave him a moment to adjust—to taste—then I gently began to push. He moaned, the sound vibrating against me as he sank lower. I watched him for any tension, any fear, but there was none.

He kept his eyes on my face as his jaw opened wider, and he rolled his tongue as I slipped almost all the way into his mouth.

“Fuck,” I gasped. “Like that. Tam, baby?—”

He moaned again, then swallowed. The sensation had my balls going tight, and it took me a moment not to spill right there. I would come down his throat someday, but not tonight. I wanted to take him with me right now.

Giving three short thrusts past his lips, I gently tugged him away. He went easily, releasing me with a pop, and didn’t protest when I urged him to his feet and pulled his own pants down to his knees.

He looked at me as he kicked them away, then he yanked me to my feet and jerked his chin toward the bed.

I nodded, grabbing both hands, and I backed up until my knees hit the mattress and I collapsed.

Tameron’s strong hands guided me down, and he swung his leg up and over me as I shuffled to sit against the headboard. His weight settled on my thighs.

I lifted his hand, licked his palm, and then guided him down to grip us both. “Just like this,” I told him, then grabbed his hips.

He nodded and held me tight. His hand was smaller than mine, so he took himself in his other one, keeping the same motion—a firm, fierce stroke. The room suddenly filled with the sound of skin slapping skin.

“Let me hear you,” he gasped. He tipped his head forward and nipped at my lips. “Please, Day. Let me have your voice.”

I didn’t hold back. I groaned loudly, thrusting into the circle of his fingers, and he sped up his hands even more. “Uh, uh. Yes. Just like that. So fucking good. So perfect. Love this so much. Tam, love this, love?—”

He kissed me. Maybe he was afraid of what I might say next. Hell, I was terrified. I sucked on his tongue and bit at his mouth as my orgasm crashed through me. With a heavy moan, I let go, spilling over his knuckles, and he stroked me as my dick kicked and emptied my balls onto us both.

He followed seconds later, letting my cock go to pin my shoulder to the bed. His moan was deep and thready, and as he came, he sobbed. It took me a moment to break out of the haze to realize that he was actually crying, and when he let his own dick go, he collapsed against me.

My arms gripped him tight, pressing him hard into my chest, rocking him back and forth. Shit, had I fucked up?

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he was whispering.

I waited until his breathing evened out a bit, then I eased him back and tipped his chin up to look at me. “Was it the sex?”

He shook his head. His eyes were still red-rimmed, his cheeks stained with tear tracks.

The answer offered no relief. No peace. He still looked shattered. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He swallowed thickly, then shook his head again. His eyes grew worried, like maybe he was afraid I’d force the issue.

I lifted a hand and signed, ‘Do you want to stay with me tonight?’

After a long, long beat of silence, his grip on me tightened, and he nodded.

I nodded and brushed the hair back from his forehead. “Okay. That’s fine. As long as you need.”

After another pause, he lifted his fingers to his chin and tipped them forward. ‘Thank you.’

I didn’t think I needed to tell him in that moment that he would never need to thank me for this.