Page 24

‘See-see,’ Dax signed. ‘It’s only a matter of time.’

This was pointless. ‘Rules,’ I said, then held out my hand and tapped my first finger. ‘Number one, no bringing up the military. I don’t know how sensitive he is, and he was discharged after the incident that took his hearing.’

Everyone nodded.

‘Two’—I tapped my middle finger—‘no making jokes about dating. He’s not sure how he feels about?—’

‘You?’ Dax offered.

‘Men.’

Dax quickly held up his hands in surrender.

‘Three…’ My finger hovered. ‘Sign slow, be patient. He’s learning. Don’t make fun of him if he gets stuff wrong.’

At that, both my parents looked offended. ‘You know we won’t,’ my dad reminded me.

I did. I did know that. I was just being sensitive. ‘I want him to enjoy his time here. He hasn’t had the best experience since he started exploring his deafness, so he’s nervous. I told him this is a safe space.’

My dad leaned forward and made a noise in the back of his throat as he waved his hand at me. ‘It is safe. And he’ll see this can be good.’

‘No pressure,’ I warned him. ‘He might not ever feel Deaf pride.’

‘None of that matters,’ my mom insisted. ‘What matters is that he feels happy.’

That was so like her. I smiled, then let her tug me down for a group hug, though Dax had no intention of joining. Instead, he shot me a middle finger over my dad’s back, and I responded in kind.

The hug didn’t last long. My dad hopped up to check on his girls, my mom to check on the roast, and Dax got on FaceTime with whomever he was talking to that week. The house settled back into normal, and the only thing making me feel off was the anxiety sparking and popping up and down my spine.

Then the lamps began to flash, and I ran before anyone could get any ideas. My socked feet skidded on the floor as I came to a halt, and I caught myself on the door handle. “Breathe,” I told myself, then followed my own orders.

The lights flashed again. Shit, right. I had to actually answer the door.

I heard footsteps coming, so I quickly yanked it open before whoever was behind me could approach. My heart started beating hard, the way it always did when I saw Tameron Halsey–yes, I’d finally learned his last name.

“Tam.”

His lips quirked at the nickname I’d accidentally given to him. I was still testing it, but so far, every time I used it, he blushed. “Hey. Am I—oh. Um.”

I felt a presence behind me and turned my head to see my mom creeping up. ‘Go!’ I ordered.She rolled her eyes and scoffed but turned and walked off. After a beat, I gave Tameron my attention. “Sorry. They’ve been given strict instructions on how to act today.”

“Oh god, don’t say that!” he said, mortified. “They’re going to think I’m some fussy little princess.”

My neck heated. I kind of liked the idea of him being a fussy little princess.

But it was obvious he didn’t. Reaching out, I took him by the wrist and tugged him inside, gesturing to where he could put his shoes.

“Relax. It’s not like that. But my parents can be overwhelming.

They mostly associate with other Deaf people and forget their way of socializing can be a lot to someone who has… ” I hesitated, then said, “PTSD.”

He swallowed heavily. “Yeah. Okay. Thank you.”

Smiling, I tugged on him a little, and he came into my arms easily, melting against my chest. He tucked his nose into my neck and breathed in deep. “Come on. I’ll show you around and then we can go outside and meet my dad’s girls.”

He pulled back. “His…girls, you said?”

“Chickens.” I pinched my thumb and forefinger together, with the back of my hand touching my lips. “He has a bunch of them. He’ll probably make you take eggs home.”

“Those are like gold,” he said with a grin. “I’m not gonna say no.”

The tour through the house was uneventful. He stared at the way the living room was set up—the chairs and the couch making a sort of C shape so no one was left out of the signing sightline. And then all the mirrors on most of the walls, which I caught him staring at.

“Deaf people don’t have a preternatural ability to know when someone’s coming up behind them. Mirrors help. Also, so you can face the other direction, but see if someone’s talking to you.”

“I never thought about that,” he said quietly.

I knew that. There was so much he didn’t know—so many things that could make his life easier. He just had to relax and stop seeing accessibility as a mark of failure and loss. But it wasn’t the time to bring that up again. He’d come to that conclusion on his own.

In reality, I just wanted this day to be about him feeling comfortable with my family. I still wasn’t ready to fully hope that he and I could make something of this, but if we wanted to try in the future, I needed him to know now that this family would be ready and willing to be his too.

Hearing or Deaf, there was a place for him.

Making our way into the kitchen, he hung back as I waved to get my mom’s attention. She knew I was there but took her time turning around. Her gaze found his and she gave him a slow up-and-down look before walking over.

He stuck his hand out nervously, and she scoffed, pulling him into a hug.

‘Sorry. Deaf thing,’ I signed sheepishly.

My mom laughed and patted him on the chest. ‘You’ll get used to it.’

He frowned, so I interpreted aloud for him, and he flushed. ‘Thank you. That was nice. I haven’t had a hug from a mom in a long time.’

My mom’s face threatened to do that thing where she got all emotional and shattered, so I quickly threw my arm around him and pulled Tameron away. “Come on. Chickens,” I said and signed.

‘Tell your dad to bring in some carrots,’ my mom signed after me.

I threw a quick ‘Okay’ over my shoulder as we slipped out the sliding glass door and onto the deck.

The air was cooler than it had been when I got there, a briny breeze wafting past as I led the way to the stairs and down to the grass.

The house was on a hill—just like all the houses in the city—but the yard was bigger than most and the walls were high.

It gave the place a sort of detached feel that a lot of homes in the Bay Area didn’t have. I loved it.

“My dad,” I said, pointing. He was leaning over the fence, throwing something at the chickens. Feed? No. I cringed. Crickets. They started hopping as the girls began to go wild, running after them.

We got close enough that I could wave, and my dad turned, grinning when he saw us. This time, Tameron was ready for the hug. He was taller and larger than my dad, but he seemed to shrink in his arms.

It was blatantly obvious that Tameron had been missing this—that he’d been deprived by distance and injury of this thing with my parents that I was taking for granted too often.

“…heard so much about you,” my dad was saying aloud. He didn’t often use his voice at home, so I appreciated him giving Tameron a break. “Dayton won’t shut up about you.”

Tameron’s eyes caught mine, and I gave my dad a glare. But it was ineffective. “He’s been wonderful.” He signed the word wonderful. ‘Thank you for having me.’

My dad grinned. “So polite. Let’s keep this one.”

‘Stop,’ I ordered.

My dad smiled wider. ‘No.’

Dinner went as planned. Tameron marveled at the way the table was set up, and I could see he wasn’t used to having such easy access to communication.

My parents signed slow, Dax was his usual dipshit self, no one brought up the military, and no one asked Tameron if he was ready to settle down with me and give my parents more grandbabies.

All-in-all, it was a success. Mostly.

But I could tell something was off after my dad shoved a wicker basket into his hands, telling him it was full of eggs, fresh squash from the garden, and his number to text in case he needed anything. Tameron nodded, smiled, got more hugs, and was mostly spared the long Deaf goodbye.

Twenty minutes later, I managed to get him out the front door and to his car parked at the curb.

“Thanks for inviting me,” he said, his tone subdued.

I said nothing until he stowed the basket away and then turned back to me. “Was this the wrong thing to do?”

He clenched his jaw, then shook his head. “It would be easier, wouldn’t it?”

I frowned and stepped closer. “What do you mean?”

“To just…embrace this. To be Deaf.” He signed it, and I could tell what he was trying to say. “I feel like I’m choosing to run in sand, uphill, in waist-deep water with these.” He tapped his hearing aid on the left side.

“You don’t have to choose.” I eased him back against the car, boxing him in with my body. His tension seemed to ease when I pressed my chest against his. “There are devices that can make your life easier. There are things you can ask of your friends to help you get by.”

“Like what?”

I laughed and nodded. “Like flashing doorbells and making sure all your videos have captions. Like having voice-off days where everyone signs, even if you’re not around, so they get used to it.

Like asking them to repeat themselves when you’re lost,” I added, and his eyes darted away for a second.

That was probably the most common crime in his house.

“Like listening to you when you need to be heard.”

“I hate feeling like a burden.”

Unable to stop myself, I brought my hand up to his jaw and waited for him to look at me.

“I know it’s hard. I can’t imagine what you deal with after what you’ve been through.

And I know it’s not just you. I see it with Nash at work.

He tries too hard, like he has to be perfect.

Like he’s trying to make up for something. ”

Tameron swallowed heavily, but he said nothing, and I knew it wasn’t his place to give away Nash’s secrets.

“But because your guys get it, maybe rely on them. Tell them what you need. Stop shutting everyone out.”

“Easier said than done,” he muttered, glancing away.

I tapped his chin until he was looking at me once more. ‘I know,’ I signed, ‘but it helps to try.’

He groaned, then thrust his hips forward. “Can’t you just kiss me and forget about all this heavy stuff?”

I grinned. “Yeah.” Pinching his chin between my fingers, I drew his lips to mine. It was hot but mostly PG for the neighbors. When I pulled back, I let out a heavy sigh and knocked our foreheads together. “I have to be at work at six in the morning, or I’d invite you over.”

“It’s okay. But…can we plan something soon?”

“Yes. Please,” I added. I needed him to know I wanted to spend time with him. I wanted this—whatever it was, for however long he wanted me back. “Text me later.”

“Tonight,” he said. “Maybe…maybe we can try something over the phone?”

Oh. I hadn’t thought of that. “That sounds nice. FaceTime?”

“Yeah,” he said, his voice a little thready. “I’ll be up. I haven’t been sleeping well.”

I kissed him again, longer this time, deeper, like a promise of what was to come the next time I could keep him in my arms for longer than a few minutes. “Let me know when you’re ready for an overnight. I’ll fuck you into a deep, deep sleep.” Maybe that was too much. Too far.

But he shuddered and groaned, rocking his half-hard cock against my thigh. “I’d like that.”

“Yeah?”

He was silent for a long beat before he met my gaze and nodded. “Yes.”