Page 20

It was too easy to repeat myself, which I did as I began to hold him tighter, jerk him harder.

He didn’t answer me.He just grunted hard, thrusting his hips into the circle of my hand, his head tipped back on a loud groan.

Before I could lose myself in his noises, his eyes flew open and he dropped forward, hands slamming on either side of my head. “Oh my god, your brother!”

I looked around frantically for a second. “What?”

“What if he’s home?” His eyes were wide and wild.

I grinned at him and shook my head. “Honey, he can’t hear either of us. He won’t know.”

“I—oh. Oh.” Slapping a hand over his face, he dropped his forehead against mine. “How did I forget?”

“It happens. But you can forget about him. You can forget about everything except this.” I pushed my hand back between us, and this time, I guided his cock to mine. My hand wasn’t big enough to fit all the way around both of us, but I got a good grip and squeezed.

Tameron sucked in a sharp gasp and pulled back. “Oh. That’s…oh.” He gave a short, experimental thrust and then swallowed heavily. His face was ruddy, making the faint freckles he had stand out. “That’s…that feels…”

“I know.” I was losing it again, feeling his hard cock thrusting against mine. And there was something to be said about the fact that it was the only part of us touching without clothes. Everything narrowed down to that point—our cocks and my hand—and I loved it.

I sped up, my arm aching as he began to match me thrust for thrust, and I could feel it in the way his dick kicked that he was close.

“I—oh, oh, oh ,” he said. His eyes were closed again as he chased the sensation.

“Yes, come on. Come on, baby. Come for me. Come all over me,” I said, pitching my voice loudly.

He grunted hard, his knees tightening against the outsides of mine, and then, with a short, sharp cry, he let go. He came in hot ropes, splattering over my belly, dribbling onto my shirt and the waistband of my boxers.

The heat of it was too much for me. I squeezed us both hard, shoving my hips up and releasing. The orgasm was more of a slow burn—a heavy thing that coursed through me as my cum joined his, and I felt the sudden urge to wrap my entire body around him and hold him.

But I didn’t. I let him choose what felt right.

As his breathing recovered, he blinked down at me. “Is cuddling, you know…?”

I lifted a brow.

“Hetero—uh, normal. Or whatever?”

I burst into laughter and knocked him to the side, curling around to spoon him. “No,” I said, right up against his ear, kissing the back, right above where his hearing aid was attached. “Cuddling is not heteronormative. And don’t overthink it, okay? You like what you like.”

He nodded and took a deep breath—slowly in and out—then settled his weight back against me. “This was different.”

“In a good or bad way?”

Tameron shook his head. “No, neither. Just…different.”

“Verdict?”

He hummed softly, then twisted in my arms until his leg was hitched over my hip and his chest was pressed against mine. I could feel our cooling cum starting to dry and stick us together, but I wasn’t bothered, and he didn’t seem to be either.

“Nine point five out of ten.”

I blinked. “What do I have to do to get that half a point?”

Biting his lip, he smirked. “Let me think on it. Fantasize a little. I’ll let you know.”

“So that means you’d like to do this again?”

“I wouldn’t be opposed. I mean, if you’d be interested.”

I would. But I didn’t want to seem too eager. I had no idea what he was interested in. “What are you looking for from me?”

“I don’t know.” He looked almost frightened, and I understood. This was new for him. “More of this.”

“I can do that.”

“Is it okay if we don’t, you know, label it or anything? Can it be just this?”

That made my chest ache a little, but I was happy to take whatever he was willing to give me. “Whatever you need.”

He was quiet for a long beat. “Will you teach me to sign that?”

The way his entire body relaxed was enough for me to promise him anything.

He leaned into me like he felt safe in my arms. My heart kicked up a notch.

I wasn’t foolish enough to hope this could turn into something more, but I was also hopeless enough to believe that someday, I might have a chance to have the man I wanted to keep as mine.

For good.

I grinned after a second, then surged in and kissed him. “Let my arm recover from that hand job, then I’ll teach you whatever you want.”

The week after Tameron and I had been together, I was restless.

We weren’t at zero communication, but it had dwindled, and I couldn’t tell if he was having a bi-panic about it all or if he was just busy.

I thought maybe I’d see him at yoga and get a feel for what was going on, but he was a no-show there too.

He sent an apology text with no details, and all that left me with was more questions.

And I was too chicken shit to ask any of them.

So, instead of managing my anxiety like a grown-up, I decided to escape to my parents’ house for the afternoon and distract myself.

Turning the knob at their front door, I smacked the doorbell three times, watching the lights flicker as I came in. Luckily, it wouldn’t be a chaotic day with siblings, small children, aunties, and neighbors.

I’d texted earlier, and my mom was out, but my dad was fiddling around the garden now that he’d set up his barbecue gazebo. The doorbell also had a flashing light on the back deck, so I figured he’d seen it—though it was a crapshoot with him.

He hadn’t seen my texts.

Pulling open the sliding glass door, I found him lounging back in the sun like a cat, a small grin on his face. I stomped, and he opened one eye and gestured for me to sit.

‘What do you think?’ He pointed toward the gazebo.

Before taking the empty chair, I leaned over the deck to stare at his handiwork. ‘It’s crooked.’

He made a soft “meh” sound and waved me off. ‘It’ll hold.’

‘Against what?’

He held his hands out and shook them like he was freezing, then put his crooked first finger and thumb over the back of his nondominant palm and shook it before shaking both fists. ‘Big earthquake.’

I rolled my eyes and sat down. ‘The big one is never coming.’

He wagged a finger at me. ‘Never say never. You know what happens.’

I closed my eyes, then laughed and opened them when I was hit in the face with a balled-up napkin. ‘It looks great. I can’t wait for the next dinner.’

He puffed out his chest proudly. ‘I’m best. Champ!’ I couldn’t argue. My dad was a very handy guy. Always had been. He was the reason I’d had both the knowledge and the confidence to go into the career I’d chosen.

‘How are the girls?’

He got his proud-dad face on. ‘Good. Dolly started laying again. I hope you and Dax want eggs.’

We could always use eggs, so I nodded my fist. ‘Yeah, thanks.’

He sat forward, a frown on his face, and then shook his head. ‘What’s wrong?’

The only real time I cursed growing up in a Deaf house: my ability to hide my feelings was a goddamn joke. ‘Nothing.’

He gave me a pointed stare and a single quirked eyebrow. I wasn’t going to get away with brushing him off.

‘That friend I told you about? The veteran?’

He hummed deep in his chest. ‘Yes. Late deaf.’

‘That-that,’ I signed. ‘We had…’ I stopped. I didn’t really want to give my old man dirty details about my sex life. But I did want some advice. ‘You and Mom didn’t fall in love right away, did you?’

He snorted. ‘You know the story. She didn’t want a guy from a hearing family. Thought I was too slow. It took a lot of roses and chocolates to win her over.’

I was pretty sure it was more like showing off his abs and strutting around campus in a muscle shirt everywhere she was than flowers and chocolates. But my dad was both a peacock and a romantic, so he probably did both.

He didn’t question me when I brought up their romance. It wasn’t a Deaf conversation if you didn’t tell three irrelevant childhood stories before getting to the point.

‘How long would you have waited until you gave up?’

‘On your mom?’ He scoffed loudly and clicked his tongue. ‘Never. Never give up on your mom. She was the one. My true love.’

A year ago, I would have laughed in the face of the idea of true love. Now…I wasn’t so sure. I was happy to be patient with Tameron. I was happy to let him experiment with me. And there would never be strings unless he asked for them.

But I wished I was brave enough to ask him if he wanted more than just…this.

‘Dayton,’ he said, using my childhood sign name of a D tapped against his heart. ‘What happened?’

‘I like him.’

Dad sat back with a small huff. ‘Does he like you?’

‘Yes. But I don’t know if he likes me the same. Or enough.’

He pulled a face. ‘Sorry. That’s hard. Do you have faith?’

‘Some.’ Enough for now, but how long would it last? ‘I want you to meet him. Even if it turns into nothing, I want him to experience a Deaf family. Deaf joy. He hasn’t had a lot of that since he was discharged.’

‘You know we can do that,’ my dad pointed out with a grin. ‘When do you see him next?’

And, well, that was part of the problem, wasn’t it? It had been over a week now, and while he’d replied with emoji to my kitten pictures and we’d ended the night on a promise that both of us wanted to do this again, there’d been nothing more.

No conversation, no asking to see me again, no nothing. Just…pointed silence.

‘I don’t know,’ I confessed.

My dad cracked his knuckles. ‘Let me know when you do. I don’t need much of an excuse to fire up the grill and text the whole family.’

That made me laugh, and it felt good because it was true. Once I got Tameron to agree, there would at least be something good for him to experience. Something different from what he’d seen in the past few months as he learned the language.

And maybe with that bridge, he would have a bit more hope. Maybe with that bridge, he’d see something in me worth keeping around.