Page 43 of Take the Plunge

Kian: Just busy or stressful too?

Me: It’s had its moments.

Kian: Do you need a hug?

Yes, but it would sound too needy to say so. We had a wonderful weekend together. I have no claim on him or his time. Besides, I think Kian might want more than I can give. I’m not ready for another relationship.

Me: Tempting. But I’m tired and grumpy. I’m going to do some work and then get some sleep.

Kian: More work? If you’re tired, you should do something relaxing. I can help with that.

That’s what he said when he offered me a blow job, so I can only assume he’s offering the same again. Or more. I imagine him winking. I’m surprised he didn’t send a winking emoji. Not that I know if he usually sends emoji or not. Rufus does. So fucking many of them. Sometimes he uses emoji to communicate instead of words. Who the fuck does that?

Me: I’m sure you’ve got better things to do.

Kian: Better than spending time with someone who makes me smile? No, not really.

Now I know he’s being polite. I’ve been under a thundercloud since Erica left. I don’t think I can make anyone happy.

Me: You’re sweet.

Kian: I thought I was peppy?

Me: That too. Tell me you’ve done something exciting today.

That’s a safer topic of conversation than offers of sex.

Kian: Does sitting in a field identifying and counting wildflowers count?

Me: Umm…

Kian: And right now, I’m trying to get a head start on planning my research project.

I hesitate. He told me he might do research abroad. Why does my chest burn as though I’ve got indigestion? I have no claim on him. If he wants to go abroad, he should.

Me: Any ideas?

Kian: Not yet, but I’ll come up with something. I wouldn’t mind being distracted. Will you be my distraction?

Me: I’d be terrible company.

Kian: I happen to like tired and grumpy.

Me: Not tonight. You should be good and figure out your research project. I should be good and work on the coding problem that stumped me at work. I’ll call you.

Will I?

Kian: Okay. Take care, and don’t work too hard.

Me: I’ll try not to.

Kian: That doesn’t sound convincing.

Me: I’m going to stop texting now.

Kian: Uh-huh.

Me: I am.