Page 97 of Swords of Soul and Shadow (Gate Chronicles #3)

It was what made all of this so hard. Without him, she might not have cared that much.

His eyes moved to her lips.

And then he was pulling her hand, reeling her in.

Time moved at a glacial pace. The gas lantern drew shadows along his jaw and over the scar interrupting his beard on the right side.

His lids lowered halfway. He tugged her off the cot and into his lap.

The cloth fluttered to the ground on top of the now-discarded sandwich.

His other hand brushed a lock of hair that had escaped her braid and followed it behind her ear before tracing her jaw to her lips.

The moment fell upon them like new fallen snow, and a soft something zinged between them, raising goosebumps along her skin. His mouth formed itself into a half-smile, one that said he noticed and wanted to do it again. Her heart skipped and fluttered.

The Kase she’d met in that bookshop all those months ago and the one who looked at her now felt like night and day.

He’d let down his walls, and she hers. She might not want to be a heroine in her story, but she wanted to be his.

The space between them hung heavy with the past, the present, and the future they would never have.

But she couldn’t push him away now. Her eyes flicked to his lips, and he took that as a silent invitation.

His kiss was soft and hesitant, opposite to the one they’d shared the night of the bonfire. She closed her eyes, allowing herself to simply feel, to not overanalyze each action or consequence.

Love couldn’t be quantified in lists, term papers, or crumbling artifacts. It couldn’t be defined by ink on parchment.

Kase kissed her as if he’d never have enough of her. It deepened between breaths and heartbeats. The aching want in her chest only grew. She pressed herself against him.

He kissed her as she was, not desperate or needing or out of pain. She kissed him back, opening her mouth, inviting him in.

Her breath hitched, and her head spun. His hand tightened at her waist, the other tangled in her hair. He tasted faintly like cinnamon.

She felt whole .

Hallie couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt that way.

He pulled back and lightly pressed his forehead to hers. “Feel better now?”

She leaned in and gave him a long, lingering kiss. “No,” she said, breathless, “but it’s okay if you keep trying.”

He chuckled softly, brushing his thumb across her slightly swollen lips, smiling as she leaned into the touch.

“I do like a challenge.” He kissed her again, but he broke it before it could go any further than that.

“But it’s probably better if we talk, because I don’t know if I…

” He cleared his throat. “Let’s go for a walk.

Fresh Catacombs air can’t fix a thing, but we might as well try. ”

He helped her stand, and Hallie’s knees wobbled. Kase steadied her. He let her go only to help her into his jacket and put her satchel on her shoulder before taking her hand and leading her out into the cavern.

The air was colder out there, but it was warm and cozy wrapped in his pilot’s jacket.

They walked along, passing more and more people packing up to leave the Catacombs at last. With each person she passed, the reality she’d escaped from for the last half hour with Kase and his lips came crashing back down.

She wanted to go back to that place and never leave, but the noise around her cemented the fact that she couldn’t. She never could.

His hand was a steady lifeline through the milling crowds. He led her right, then left, then left again. They traveled deeper and deeper until only the echoes of their footsteps followed them. Kase finally slowed at the last gas lantern hanging from a hook in the wall.

“Found this earlier.” He nodded back the way they’d come. His guard waited about thirty feet or so away in the light of another lantern. To her left was almost complete darkness.

“And why were you looking for a secluded spot such as this?” Hallie asked, glancing around again.

Now that her eyes had adjusted a little more, a soft glow came from far to her left in the darkness.

Probably another lantern. All the corridors down here seemed to connect in some way.

This was probably just one of the places yet to be used or already cleared out of refugees heading back into the city.

“Wanted a good place to do unscrupulous things?”

“I love that you use big words like unscrupulous .” He lightly kissed her nose.

“I needed to clear my head the other day, and I stumbled across this and knew no one would be here now.” He gestured back to his guard looking bored with a hand on his sword.

“And you’re safe from unscrupulous things as long as Sergeant stays with us. ”

Hallie rolled her eyes. Kase brought his other hand up and played with one of her stray hairs at the nape of her neck. “So talk to me. Please. I would rather not have you upset at me—especially after the other day with the whole card game and…well, you know.”

Hallie wet her lips. Kase traced the movement with his eyes. She could tell he wanted to kiss her again, and besides Sergeant, there was no one there to stop them. Hallie almost pushed aside her fears and the things she needed to tell him and finished what they’d started back in his tent.

But she couldn’t do that. She wouldn’t do that to herself or to Kase. It wasn’t fair.

She swallowed around the words aching in her throat. She might as well just say it. No matter what she said to soften the blow would make it any less cutting.

“I’m not going to reset the Gate.”

Kase, who had been brushing his hand up and down her right arm, froze. “What does that mean?”

“My training isn’t working, and I just…I just…”

His eyes narrowed in confusion. “Just tell me, Hallie. What does that mean?”

She looked down at her fingers just poking out of his jacket sleeve.

“It means…I’m going to find Correa and use the swords to combine the Essence powers.

Then I’m going to return the swords to the Gates.

Of course, I need to find the second one first and its sword, and I think my great grandmother’s journals might help with that, but regardless, it’s the only sure way to defeat Jagamot. ”

Kase was quiet for a moment before he asked, “Does Saldr know?”

Hallie shook her head. “I made the decision a few hours ago after my session with him and Fely.”

He tipped her chin up and made her look at him, his eyes searching. “And what happens when we combine the Essence powers into those swords? There’s something you’re not telling me.”

Hallie worked her jaw. She didn’t want to cry again. It might break her resolve. No, not might. It would.

“Hals, you can tell me anything, I hope you know that,” he said, his words soft and tender.

She licked her lips again and took a breath. His finger didn’t leave her chin.

Her heart pounded against the cage in her chest. “It means…combining the swords means that I’ll…”

The realization hit him without her having to say it out loud. His hand fell away. “You don’t have to do that. You can’t.”

“I don’t have a choice, Kase.”

He shook his head. “Yes you do. You can go with Saldr’s plan.”

“I’m not going to do that.”

“Why, Hallie?” He gripped her face in both hands, emotion tinging his words.

She put both of her hands on his and drew them away from her cheeks. “It’s the only way to save you.”

“I’m not worth saving,” Kase said, his voice finally breaking all the way. “Not at that cost. I don’t care what happens to me or to anyone else. I only care about you.”

Arms clasped around her middle, Hallie turned away. She wouldn’t cry anymore. She couldn’t. She had to stay strong.

Kase grabbed her shoulders and forced her to face him. A tear trekked down his face.

She shook her head and tugged out of his arms. She walked down the corridor toward the other faint light.

The warmth she’d forgotten over the last few hours awoke, rising to a simmer just beneath the surface of her skin.

She stopped and looked at her hands, allowing the sleeves of Kase’s jacket to fall back as she held them up. They looked normal. But she felt it.

Kase followed. “Hals…”

She looked toward the soft glow and frowned. There was no other lantern. There was no other side of the tunnel. It was coming from the ground, and it was familiar. “I thought the tunnels connected.”

He stopped beside her. “Hallie, can we talk about this? Really talk about it? Go through each option and decide together?”

She closed her eyes. “No.”

“But why? Why do you get to go off and sacrifice yourself? Why do you get to make that choice?”

She threw up her hands. “Because I’m a Essence wielder!

Because my great-grandmother decided she didn’t want to do this.

Because I fell for Correa’s trap. Because I don’t know, Kase.

I don’t know, but if I don’t do this, if I follow Saldr’s plan, there’s a chance I never meet you.

There’s a chance I never kiss you. There’s a chance I never fall in love with you.

This way, I keep that. I keep that, and I know that you’ll survive.

I know that you’ll be happy. My way guarantees that even if I never get to finish this life with you… I still had it.”

Her throat burned with the words, and her hands shook.

“So that’s why? You’re scared that if you reset the Gate, you’ll lose me?”

“Yes!” The confession broke her heart all over again.

He caught her wrist, tugging her to him, and crushed his mouth to hers.

The heat within her rose to meet his passion, but before it bubbled over, he pulled back, hands cupping her face.

He looked so deep into her eyes, she knew he saw her.

The real her. The raw her. The one who wanted only to run away, but wouldn’t.

She would stay and fight and make sure that he lived.

His words were soft yet taut. “I will find you. I will find you in any and every timeline. I’d fight every dragon, find all the stars-blasted swords, die a thousand deaths if it meant I could be with you.”

“But you can’t know that.” Hallie’s voice broke.

“I do.” He breathed heavily, and in the false twilight, his eyes were dark with emotion. “You’re my fate, Hallie Walker, and I’m never letting you go.”

Those words were what every girl dreamed of hearing. Hallie had. They were absolutely perfect, and if she’d read them in a book, she’d swoon. She’d cry. She’d dream about them forever.

But his words would not save her, the girl who was going to die for him. Nothing he said would change her mind.

And it broke her heart.

Heat flared in her core, and she stumbled back like she’d been pushed. Her vision clouded and darkened. Someone’s hands encircled her wrists and dragged her back.

“Hallie!” A rough hand on her face. She was burning—with fever or fire or the sun itself, she didn’t know. She couldn’t open her eyes.

All she could do was burn.