Page 103 of Swords of Soul and Shadow (Gate Chronicles #3)

HEROES OF FIRST EARTH

Niels

WHEN NIELS HAD FIRST WOKEN up, he’d thought he was back in Stoneset.

But then he’d remembered the attack. Fleeing those caverns with Hallie and not looking back. Leaving the others to the mercy of the Cerls.

There might not be a Stoneset left to go back to anymore.

Part of him felt guilty. Another felt frustrated, and a third—a small third—felt relieved.

He felt guilty for leaving them in chaos, but his only thought had been to get Hallie out of there.

Still, he hated that he hadn’t been able to help.

Hallie had done far more than him, and it gnawed at him that he no longer needed to protect her.

He was as useless as a creek flooding its banks during the rainy season.

The relief was something else entirely. No longer being trapped in the Stoneset caverns had allowed his mind to heal in a way it hadn’t been able to in the months after the Cerl attack. Being around the people he’d known his entire life had only made it more clear that he no longer had a family.

He wasn’t the only one who’d lost everyone.

He knew that. But it was nice not to have constant reminders of his loss, even if the new caverns he found himself in were full of more war-torn refugees.

This was different; these refugees, he could help.

He no longer felt as if everyone was watching him with pity.

However, one could only go so long without seeing the sun without going stir-crazy, which was why the Yalven cavern had proven to be the perfect escape over the couple days since he’d woken. It was why he’d agreed to patrol duty in Stoneset.

He didn’t belong underground trapped like a rat. He needed fresh air.

The cavern was still clearly burrow-deep with the jagged, dripping stalactites, but the Yalvs had used their powers to transform it into a meadow of sorts.

Whether or not it was an illusion, Niels didn’t care.

Grass grew from the ground, and a worn pathway wound through the towering oaks.

Wildflowers dotted the open spaces, and tents tucked themselves into crooks under trees.

Children chased each other throughout, their laughter lightening the pall that hung in the air no matter where one went in the Catacombs.

It felt alive, and Niels no longer knew how much life he had left to live. He would use what he could of it and hope for another day.

He’d spent the previous afternoon helping several of the refugees prepare for their return to the surface.

It was nice to feel useful, even with his limited capacity.

He’d spent most of his time with a man who owned a woodworking shop.

It was nice to be around someone who enjoyed the same hobby Niels did.

It was something he hadn’t gotten to do much besides occasionally whittling around the fire after suppers in recent months.

The man’s apprentice had perished in the attack on Kyvena, and by the end of the night, he’d asked Niels if he’d like to stay on once everything was settled.

He’d told the man he’d think on it and get back with him the next day with his decision. Depending on the conversation he planned to have with Hallie that morning, he would hopefully say yes.

It was just nice to be needed, and the capital could offer him much more opportunity than Stoneset. It’d been Jack’s dream, then Hallie’s. Now it was his.

He wove his way through the grasses, nodding at the people he passed.

The Yalvs were interesting, and they reminded him of his mother; stoic, but always willing to invite someone in.

Fely had visited the day he’d woken and told him about the bonfire celebration, inviting him to come if he felt up to it.

He’d gone, but for some reason, he hadn’t expected to see Hallie there.

Why he hadn’t expected it, he wasn’t sure, but when he’d walked into the celebration with a few other Jaydians, he had not expected or needed to see Hallie with Kase’s hands on her waist.

Even two days later, the memory of their dancing alone poured the hot tang of jealousy down the back of his throat.

But then he’d remember that Kase was the reason he was even standing there, thanks to the blanket he’d brought.

Without it, Niels would still be trapped in that cold room with no way out.

Still, it’d taken everything in him to apologize to Kase for kissing her, and he probably wouldn’t have done so if the sterning pilot hadn’t forced his hand.

He rubbed the braided cord at his wrist.

The fibers were rough and threaded with blue.

He wasn’t sure he would’ve done the same for Kase if their positions had been reversed—especially not when it involved Hallie.

That would’ve been selfish, but he didn’t think he would’ve cared if it meant Hallie would look at him the way she looked at Kase.

Seeing them together, dancing, talking, and finally kissing in front of everyone…

Hallie had never looked at Niels that way, not even before Jack died.

That part hurt the most: his feelings for her were still there in his heart, yet he knew he would never have her.

He needed to move on. She’d told him as much. But how?

After a few more turns and nods to others, he found himself in a small meadow tucked up against the cavern wall covered in kudzu.

A few trees enclosed the space, and a strange Yalven torch hung from a hook in one of the trunks, shining brighter than regular fire.

It was almost like they’d mounted a small sun.

Against one of the trees sat Hallie, her sketchbook out, her pencil flying across the page. She didn’t look up from her work, and Niels had to take a moment to simply admire her before her expression turned to one of displeasure or disappointment.

The grass bent under his boots, but his steps barely made a sound as he strode toward her. She still didn’t look up, and it wasn’t until he stopped a short distance away that she stopped writing.

Her eyes never left her page.

“Morning.” That came out raspy. He cleared his throat. “Petra told me you like to come here when you’re not busy.”

She didn’t answer, only stuck her pencil into her sketchbook and closed it.

But she didn’t run away or curse him. He took that as a good sign and eased himself against the other side of the tree. Across the way, a few men sparred with Zuprium swords. The soft clangs didn’t help his focus.

“Look,” he tried again, “I didn’t come here to argue or beg you to take me back. I heard what you said.”

Even if I don’t agree with it much.

He watched her out of the corner of his eye. She merely wet her lips, staring at the kudzu vines.

He continued, “I’m going to stay in the capital for a while yet, even after everything is set to rights, but I want you to know it’s for myself, not…not because I’m going to keep chasing you. I’m not here to try again. I just wanted to apologize for my behavior.”

She swallowed.

Niels hated that he was still aware of her every movement.

It would be a long time yet before he could forget all her little mannerisms, but he would have to trust that it would fade.

“If you don’t want to forgive me, you don’t have to.

But just know that I only want you to be happy, and if he makes you happy, then so be it. I won’t stand in your way.”

The words felt more like gravel he forced through his teeth, but he’d said them. And he did mean them, or he would eventually.

He waited that time, hoping she would acknowledge him in some inconsequential way, but she just chewed her lip.

Stars, she really had changed.

He pushed himself back to his feet and shoved his hands into his pockets. “That’s really all I came to say. Good luck. I wish you all the best, truly.”

He had just started back out of the meadow—feeling ridiculous, yet a little lighter at the same time—when she finally spoke. Her voice was small but clear.

“I’m glad you’re okay.”

He looked back and caught the tears in her eyes threatening to fall. She swiped at them before saying, “You saved us in the Gate chamber, and you saved me in the mine that day. Thank you.”

Niels just smiled and tipped his head. “My pleasure.”

Her words were the balm he needed, and his shoulders relaxed. Hallie packed away her sketchbook into her satchel and stood, gesturing for him to follow as she walked past. “What will you be doing in the city?”

He kept his gait slow so as not to outpace her.

“Woodworking long as I’m able.” He held up his bracelet.

He didn’t miss the shadow that crossed her face, but he forced himself not to reach out and smooth away the worry line in her brow.

“Got an apprenticeship with a Woodwright soon as his shop is up and running again. Might’ve been a little desperate of him to hire me after helping him only for a few hours the other day, but I don’t care. ”

Hallie tangled her hand in her satchel strap, a soft smile appearing. “I’m happy for you. I think you’ll love the city.”

They winded their way through the trees, chatting softly about nothing inconsequential before going their separate ways at the edge of the Yalven cavern. It burned him to say goodbye, but it was for the best. He had a mountain to climb…but with the whole world beyond it, he knew he could do it.

It was time he found that new dream.

Kase

CONSIDERING THE REVELATIONS ABOUT HIS uncle, Kase needed to think more than ever. He needed to fly, and he’d convinced Hallie to join him the next day. The easy patrol with Laurence Hixon had been nice, but the greenie was no Hallie. Kase did keep his new dagger attached to his belt, though.

Besides, he needed to convince her to try resetting the Gate instead. Her diabolical plan to put herself into that sword wasn’t going to work. He refused to allow her to do that. Not for him.