Page 12 of Swimming in Grief (Monster Match season two)
Glauruss
I was released from the hospital on Sunday late afternoon with a plan to attend some addiction group meetings via computer and a once a week one-on-one with a counselor to check in. Reuben picked me up in his car and took me back to the beach. I had never learned to drive and probably wouldn’t. My feet were very large and more designed for swimming than for driving. I offered for him to come sit with me for a while, but he told me he had to get home to take care of some things. “But I do want to see you again soon,” he said, giving me that sweet smile that I was learning to love. “And if you feel like you might fall off the wagon, call me anytime, day or night. I’m here for you.”
I did several loops around my boat, making sure that every bit of liquor that was not for my business had been poured out. Then I went for a long swim, which helped to clear my head. I walked up onto the beach near the boardwalk as the sun was just about to dip below the horizon. Mike was at his stand, and I remembered Reuben’s prompt about talking to Mike. Now seemed as good a time as any. The final patrons were wandering off as I sat down on a stool, flicking my tail out of the way. “Hey, Mike.”
“Hey, Blue!” Mike greeted me as he grabbed a couple dirty glasses from off the counter. “Fruit punch or tropic storm?”
I held up my hand. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that.”
Mike looked a little worried. “Am I losin’ my touch?”
I chuckled. “No, no, your touch is great. Too great. I, uh… I’m quitting drinking,” I said.
Mike gazed at me for a long moment, then nodded solemnly. “I get it,” he said softly.
“You do?” I asked, tipping my head curiously.
He nodded again. “I’ve known you for a while now, mate. I was gettin’ a little worried about you.” I felt simultaneously guilty and also relieved. I didn’t want Mike to worry about me; he was a good guy. But if he recognized that I had a problem too, I had made the right decision to stop drinking. “Is it cause of that guy? Reuben?”
“Oh,” I said, giving him a small grin. “You noticed him.”
“I’m a bartender,” Mike said by way of explanation, which probably made more sense to him than it did to me.
“Yeah, I… I really like him, Mike. I think I told you that he lost his husband recently?” Mike nodded in acknowledgement. “We got to talking, and… I didn’t like what drinking was doing to me. I was using it to dull the pain from… some stuff in the past, and it wasn’t healthy.”
Mike gave me a knowing look. “You gotta do what’s best for you. Fuckin’ yourself up might feel like an answer, but it’s usually not. You gonna see more of that guy?”
I flushed a bit. “Yeah, maybe? I don’t think either of us are in a good place to have like a full-on relationship right now. But I think we both could use a friend.”
“I get that too,” Mike said. “Just see where things lead.”
“Exactly,” I said, my eyes drifting over the bar to the maraschino cherries sitting in their little plastic bin. “I’m gonna miss your cherries though.”
Mike chuckled. “Hey, just cause I ain’t servin’ you alcohol don’t mean you can’t have cherries. Here, lemme mix you something, see if you like it.” He turned away, grabbing a few things. I watched him curiously. Mike’s smoothness in mixing was an art, and I always enjoyed it. He set down a highball glass in front of me with a reddish-pink bubbly drink over ice, and several cherries speared onto a cocktail stick, just the way I liked. “Here. Shirley Temple. Classic nonalcoholic drink.”
I took the glass and swallowed a mouthful. “Holy shit, Mike,” I said, crunching some of the ice between my sharp teeth. “That’s amazing!”
“Super simple, I can whip ya up one any time you want,” Mike said with a smile.
I nodded and swallowed the rest of the glass in one gulp, ice and all, then ate the cherries off the stick one by one. “I’d like that.”
“I got you, Blue,” he said, flashing me another smile. “Takes a lot of guts to admit when you got a problem. I’ve been there myself.”
“You were addicted to alcohol?” I asked, glancing around the bar that surrounded him.
“Nah. Heroine. Bad stuff, it will fuck you up pretty good. And I lost everything because of it. My wife left me, took my daughter and son. I only hear from them once a year at Christmas now.” Mike’s brown eyes took on a faraway look. “I finally got clean about six years ago, relapsed a few times before that. They’re grown now, and I’m hopin’ I can rebuild those relationships with my kids. But I screwed ‘em up pretty bad, so I don’t blame ‘em if they decide they don’t wanna have anything to do with their old man.”
That had to be difficult, having family who was alive who wanted nothing to do with him, I thought. But as long as they were alive, there was still hope. “What are their names?” I asked.
“Maggie and Michael Jr.,” Mike said with a chuckle. He dug in his pocket and pulled out his wallet, flipping it open to a picture of two smiling kids that was obviously many years old. Maggie had long, blond hair and was holding a black and white kitten to her chest. Michael Jr. was next to her, giving the camera a wide, cheesy grin to show off his missing top front teeth.
“They’re beautiful,” I said, feeling my eyes burn with sudden tears.
“Yeah,” Mike agreed, giving the picture a fond look before putting the wallet back in his pocket. He cleared his throat. “So, uh… Another Shirley Temple?”
“Yeah. I’m gonna need like three more of those after all that sentimental stuff,” I said with a grin, and Mike let out a guffaw of laughter as he began to mix.
When I got back to my boat, there was a text from Reuben, which surprised me. I hadn’t expected to hear from him so soon. But my heart sank when I read the message.
My dad passed away today. Going to my sister’s for the week to get things settled. I’ll be back later this week, but call me if you need to talk.
Even when dealing with another crisis, he was still kind and sweet and caring about others. I texted him back.
Im so sorry! Take care. I’ll be ok I told Mike. Lmk when you’re back in town.
He sent me a thumbs up in response, and I left it on ‘read.’ He had enough to deal with right now. I could at least be respectful of his time and be there for him when he returned.