Page 9

CHAPTER 9

MIRIAM

Rolling out of bed, I scrub the tiredness from my eyes and stretch. I never sleep well at home, especially now when my only place to lie down is on a twenty-year-old lumpy mattress.

There’s no holding back my groan when I hear some of my brothers arguing loudly downstairs while sounds of slamming cupboards and dishes being dropped in the sink echo through the floorboards.

Dragging myself from the bed, I toss the threadbare blanket to the side and stand. I’m still dressed in my clothes from yesterday since all my energy was drained last night. Missing dinner minus a few cheese sticks will do that to a girl who’s normally capable of eating half a large pizza herself.

I adore my family, I truly do. They mean the world to me, and I’d take a bullet for each and every one of them, but fuck do they make it hard to come over here. If I could just visit and hang out, I’d be much happier to take the time off to travel here. But since my mom skipped town and papá handed the figurative keys to the house to me — the dishtowel — I’ve been the “woman” of the house ever since.

Taking care of my brothers was a full-time job. From the moment I woke until I went to bed, I was busy completing high school, driving them to practices, appointments, helping with homework, and doing diaper changes… God, the diaper changes were never ending.

Another crash followed by a scream of outrage, Damián by the sounds of it, has my shoulders hunching up to my shoulders instantaneously.

I love them. I love them. I love them . I chant over and over again in my head while hurrying downstairs to break up the impending physical altercation I’m sure is about to erupt if Loren’s shouting doesn’t die out within the next five seconds.

“You could stop them,” I snap at my papá as I storm past where he’s laid out in his chair with the remote resting on his belly.

I’m sure he just shrugged at me, but he does say, “ Asi son los hombres , Miri.” That’s how men are, my ASS.

“Those boys are going to break something, most likely their heads. Where’s that going to get you? Just another bill to pile up, the way I see it.”

I don’t wait for his response because I know it was a low blow and I can hear Damián’s crying growing to a level where it’ll take him ages to calm down.

My feet freeze as soon as I’m through the door. All I can do is reach out and snag my youngest brother as he attempts to barrel past me, ready to attack Loren like a rabid dog. Wrapping my arm around his waist, I pull him into my body, but my voice is locked up tight as I eye the disaster of the kitchen, spotless only a few hours before.

“Lemme at him, hermana !” a wiggling Damián screeches, but I hold tight.

Spinning him around, I grab his shoulders and wait for him to focus on me with teary eyes. “You need to take a minute and calm down. Go in the living room and look through a book or color, anything , but leave.”

In my peripheral vision, I see Loren trying to sneak out the back door, so I whip my head toward him, making him freeze in place. My eyes fall to my two eldest brothers sitting at the table, eating filled the brim bowls of cereal. The muffled sound of a basketball bouncing in the driveway lets me know César is outside.

“They’d have worked it out, you know,” Ale says unhelpfully. “You baby him too much.”

Like a predator, I turn my head slowly toward him and narrow my eyes. Opening my mouth to spear him with the million things running through my head, I snap it shut instead.

Dropping my arms in defeat, I let Damián flee. “I’m not doing this again. You’re all so fucking ungrateful.”

“Miri,” Cristián mutters, clearly hurt. I refuse to feel guilty that I’ve hurt his feelings, so I just grab my bag from the floor where someone has shoved it off the chair. Opening the top, I drop my phone inside, then zip it up with more force than necessary. Then walk past them toward the back door.

“Where you goin’?” Ale asks through a mouthful of soggy, sugary cereal.

“Home.” It’s all I can muster before I walk out. I wave quickly at César, who pauses to give me a head nod before going back to practicing his jump shots, as if he doesn’t give a shit what’s going on around him.

I suppose that’s just what happens when you’re basically the middle child. I don’t count myself in the numbers. There are five boys: Cristián, Alejandro, César, Lorenzo, and Damián. They’re a unit. Then there’s me. Miriam Delgado. Eldest sister and caretaker of not just five brothers, but one father, and a fucking nightmare of a cat.

Thankfully, there were no delays in getting a ticket for a bus ride home, especially considering that I blew my emergency on that damn pizza I never got a chance to partake in.

Staring out the window and seeing all the snow piles alongside the highway and tire tracks leading into a field periodically tell me the snowstorm we got over the weekend sent a good amount of people into the ditch. Winter is by far my favorite season, but I can’t help feeling as though the first big snow of the season was tainted by selfish men who gave me an experience I’ll never forget, then made me feel like a whore.

The ache between my legs will be a reminder for another few days, I’m sure, but after that? I’m putting them in my past as a mistake I can learn from.

Trudging my heavy feet to my apartment, I’ve never been more relieved to crawl into my own bed. Unfortunately, before I even have the opportunity to enjoy my solitude by turning the key to unlock the door of my home, deep male voices reach my ears from the other side of the door. Susanna’s boyfriends are visiting.

With a sigh, I push the door open.

“ Miriam! God, I’ve missed you. Tell them I’m not stupid,” Theo, Susu’s burly boyfriend, begs before I’m even two steps into our apartment. While he’s my biggest foe of the group, I secretly like him the most.

Instead of giving in, I curl my lip into a smirk. “I’d never. You’re a goddamn idiot. Whatever you just said is wrong, pendejo . Now, fuck right off. I want to see my girl.”

“I can’t tell if you’re a bitch or if you love me,” Theo complains, causing Susanna and Chester, her second boyfriend, to chuckle.

Leaning down, I press a kiss to her cheek. “How you feeling, my friend? When did they let you out of the hospital?”

“Yesterday, late morning.”

“Too soon, if you ask me,” Chester adds. I glance at him and I find myself agreeing. Susanna looks like she’s standing on Death’s doorstep. He then asks her, “You need anything to drink, baby girl?”

I glance at Theo and pretend to gag as I shove a finger down my throat. His grin is wide, but he’s clearly just as stressed as Chester.

“Where’s Vance?” I ask.

“At his parents’ for the evening,” Susanna tells me. There’s a hint of displeasure in her voice, but I can’t help but be proud of her for using her words. It wasn’t that long ago that we only communicated through text or hand motions.

“Ahh…” I trail off, not sure what else to say. I’d love to have her alone for a few minutes because I really need to talk about what happened this weekend. Not only is she one of my only friends, but she’s got three damn boyfriends. If anyone would understand the difficulties of this type of scenario, she would. Well, aside from the “boyfriend” part. They’re men I’d never entertain dating. Turns out, I don’t need to be paid to date someone.

With a pleading look toward Chester, I ask, “Do you think you two could run out and grab some more drinks for the house? I’m sure Susu would appreciate it.”

Thankfully, Chester isn’t an idiot and can tell I really need a minute, so he simply nods. Pressing a kiss to Susanna’s temple, he murmurs something in her ear, causing the corner of her lip to tip up. Grabbing his keys from the side table, he waits a moment, staring at the back of Theo’s head.

“Teddy,” Susanna’s soft censure has Theo frowning. He hadn’t moved from the couch after my request. His arms are stretched out across the top cushions and legs jutted out to the middle of the living room. The guy is massive, but he’s my favorite to spar with verbally.

“I don’t see why I can’t stay. We’re all family now. Isn’t that right, Miri? Your problems are our problems.” He pauses, then tilts his head to the side in thought. “Well, unless they’re women’s problems. I want no part in those unless they’re Susu’s.”

Snorting out a laugh, I shake my head at him. “It’s definitely women’s problems, pendejo .”

“Well, I’m out.” Smacking his hands on his thighs, he jumps up and heads to his girl. Leaning down, he presses a hard kiss to her mouth, then a second one after tilting her chin up to check her over. “Text if you need something else while we’re out. Not you, Miri,” he calls over his shoulder. “Love you, carebear.”

Finally, I can’t hold back my gag. I flip him off when he glares at me, returning the gesture before leaving our apartment. As soon as the door clicks shut, I whip my head toward my friend and blurt everything out.

“I lost my virginity this past weekend to four men, and I’m apparently a whore. My vagina is sore as fuck, which I’m not even mad about, but I went to see my family and I’m so pissed at them, I could scream. Todos son unos pendejos desagradecidos y flojos. ”

Raising her hand, Susanna is wearing a gentle smile. “Back to English, my friend.”

“Sorry,” I sigh in resignation. “I just said that they’re all lazy and ungrateful assholes.” Scrubbing at my eyes in frustration, I fall into the spot on the couch Theo vacated. “When I got there, the whole kitchen was a complete dumpster fire and smelled like moldy rinds and rotten feet. I spent hours cleaning it, bought dinner for everyone, ate nothing ‘cuz they’re selfish, then woke the next morning to fighting and my father completely disconnected from everything.”

Smoothing out the throw blanket spread over her lap, she picks at a thread, most likely carefully choosing the few words she wants to give me. “Your family is not your responsibility. They’re dicks, and until they can appreciate and respect you, I say leave them to clean up their own shit.”

“It’s just hard when some of them are still so young, especially Damián. I feel awful for moving out and they all know it. They give me a reminder every time one of them calls.” My guilt has been eating away at me since the moment I left, but I know it’s undeserved. I have a right to adult and do all the adult things.

Nodding in agreement, she leans forward. “So, four men?”

“How are you feeling?” I ask instead, feeling so fucking stupid for putting myself in that situation with strangers. While it might be one of those ‘once in a lifetime’ experiences, it was incredibly unsafe and idiotic.

With a wave of her hand, she disregards me. “I’m fine. Men. Tell me.”

“We’re coming back to you in a moment,” I say, pointing my finger at her. “Remember el capitán ?”

“Captain Cooper?”

“Yeah, also known as Kevin. That guy.” Pent up energy is coursing through my body with no place to go. Crossing my legs, I try to get comfortable, but it’s not working, so I stand up to straighten my clothes, then sit back down. “So… he’s something else, right? Kind of intimidating?”

“What happened, Miri?”

Susanna’s question is simple, but it makes me want to cry. I am not a crier. Blinking quickly, I look away from her to settle my thoughts. Inhaling slowly, I blow out my breath in a rush.

“Long story short, after I left during your stay at the hospital, he offered to drive me to my family’s home. Things were talked about, and I was offered an opportunity to spend the weekend with him and his friends to just let go of life for a few days, experience new things. I took him up on it.”

Flicking my eyes over to see her reaction to my vague explanation, I can tell she’s confused. I drop my head into my hands and mumble the rest out quickly.

“It was a weekend of sex. He and these guys get together to just have a sex filled weekend, and I was the willing participant. Before I snuck out, I overheard them talking about how I needed to leave and who was going to pay me. Pay me , Susu. They thought I was there to be paid for sex.”

I’m not ashamed of having sex with multiple men over a weekend. It’s my body and my choice, but I am ashamed by what they thought. It’s fucking embarrassing and I’m better than that. They made me feel cheap.

My friend is silent for a minute or two, opening her mouth, then shutting it again to mull things over. While I wait to hear her opinion, I fuss with my phone, flipping it over and over again in my hands nervously.

“Are… are you okay? What did you say to them?”

With a dismissive shrug, I look down at my phone. “I texted them that I wasn’t a whore and they can all fuck off for thinking I was there to suck their dicks for money. Then I blocked every one of their numbers.”

Susanna nods sharply. “Good. They can all fuck right off. You deserve better.”

Finally, the tears begin to well, and I quickly swipe at them. I’ll be damned to let a single one fall for those bastards. “Need anything from the kitchen?” I ask as I stand, passing by her. I need a minute to compose myself.

She reaches out to stop me as soon as I’m next to her. Waiting until I glance down at her, she presses her lips together to restrain the anger she’s feeling for me.

“You’re worth so much more than they treated you. We’ll plan a dick shrinking ceremony in their honor, just for fun.”

Laughter explodes from my chest, and I shake my head. “Done. Tell me what we need and I’ll get us hooked up. We’ll have our work cut out because they were packing.” I hold my hands out to show her none of these guys were lacking.

It’s such a shame those beautiful cocks are wasted on ugly people.