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CHAPTER 1

MIRIAM

“ Miri, papá misses you. It’s been tough since you left. ”

Sighing into the phone, I pinch the bridge of my nose. My roommate, Susanna Walston, has been in the hospital for a few days now, and I just don’t have the energy to deal with my family as well.

“Ale…” I trail off, not hiding my frustration. “I have to work.” My second oldest brother, Alejandro, is trying to convince me to come home earlier than I planned, and I just can’t with him right now.

He groans in disappointment; the sound sending a surge of guilt to slam into me. “ But hermana, ” he complains. “ You know none of us know how to make this shit. Papá isn’t doing so well since you moved. What are we supposed to do? ”

“I’m twenty-four years old, Ale. It’s not my job to raise you and the boys anymore.” I’m so tired as I tell him the same thing I always say, then side eye the man sitting next to me in the hallway outside of Susanna’s room. He’s pretending not to listen, but I know he is.

Captain Kevin Cooper.

Since the moment I showed up, this man has had me on edge. We haven’t had an opportunity to talk much, but when he does speak to me, I freaking stand up and listen. Of course, the moment we step out of the room to give Susanna and her guys a moment alone, that’s when my brother calls.

I stayed at home for years after I legally became an adult, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. When mom left shortly after I turned thirteen, she left the burden of raising all my younger brothers on my shoulders. They expected everything from me, and maybe it’s selfish, but I’m exhausted.

Staring at my worn sneakers, I dig the tip of my foot into the ground as a way to distract myself from the guilt always eating away at me. “Ale?” I ask after he’s been quiet for too long.

“ Hermana! ” my youngest brother, Damián, says. “ You coming home? I miss you so much, and I’m soooo hungry. Papá cooks like shit! ”

“ Dios mío! Language, Damián!” I hiss out, flicking my eyes to the older man next to me again. I shiver when my eyes lock with his. He’s fucking staring at me without trying to hide it. “Uhh…” I trail off as my train of thought stops. “I, umm… I have to work, honey.”

“ You always work. What are we supposed to do, Miri? There’s stuff in the stinkin’ fridge that I don’t even know how long it’s been there. Plus, I got in trouble at school, and César freakin’ told papá, so now I’m grounded. And the cat keeps shitting in my closet! ” Damián is breathing heavily into the phone by the time he’s done ranting, and I close my eyes in frustration.

“Put—” I’m cut off just before I ask him to hand the phone back to Alejandro when the oldest of my brothers grabs the phone and starts with his personal brand of pretend empathy.

Cristián is only two years younger than me, but he’s the one who’s normally been on my side from day one. He knows what I’m trying to do with my life because I’ve spent countless nights whispering my dreams for a better future in the dark. “ Miri. I know you’re busy, but you need to come home. ”

“I’ve told all of you for the last three months I can’t come home for the holidays this year. I don’t have seniority at work. The other caretakers already asked for vacation, so I’m on the schedule. Please, Cristián, don’t make me feel bad about this. I’m using my days off to be here right now.” I told my brother a short version of what happened to my roommate, and I thought he would have some understanding. Apparently, I was wrong.

“ No offense, but this is bullshit. You’ve been gone for two years and what do you have to show for it? You’re working your ass off, wiping the asses of old people, just so you can take a few classes a semester. I thought you were supposed to be a nurse by now. ”

My shoulders stiffen at his accusation, and I stare at the closed door to Susanna’s hospital room. I’m not sure he’s ever been this cold with his words before. “Wow.”

Cristián sighs, and I can hear the rest of my brothers hollering at him on the other end of the phone. “ Lo siento, Miri. That was ? — ”

Ignoring his apology, I cut him off. “Nope. I don’t want to hear it. That was mean and uncalled for. I’ll come home this weekend for a few days. I can’t change my schedule for later. It’s already set. We can celebrate early. Tell me what you all want to eat while I’m there. I’ll just grab food on my way.” If they want to guilt me into taking time out of my schedule to make them a damn meal, then I’ll fucking make them one.

“ Miri ,” he whines into the phone, but I’m just fucking done. His words were cruel. “ I didn’t mean ? — ”

Turning my back to the man hovering next to me, I hiss into the phone. “I’m working two jobs, Cristián. Two fucking jobs! Plus going to school full time. You can fuck right off for making me feel bad for not being done with a four-year program in two. But I’ll be there this weekend to make you dinner. Happy?”

My phone is plucked from my hand, causing me to whirl around and stare up at Captain Cooper as he puts my phone to his ear. Staring at me, his voice is cold as he says, “Your sister will be home in a few days. She needs to go now.” Then he hangs up and holds it out to me.

I blink up at him, shocked by the size of his balls to actually take a woman’s phone away from her. “Why did you do that?”

“They weren’t listening,” he states simply with a half shrug.

Scowling, I snatch my phone and shove it in my bag. Murmuring more to myself, I let my disgust with my brothers slip free. “They never listen, fucking little shits.”

He turns to face me, resting his shoulder on the wall. “You’re leaving?”

Hesitating for a brief moment, I nod once slowly. I hate that he’s probably judging me for abandoning my friend, but I admit, “I have to.”

“But you’re not going home. You’re going to your family?” he asks, but he already knows the answer. The asshole listened to my entire conversation. “How did you plan on getting home to begin with?”

“Apparently,” I grumble. “I’m taking the bus since I hitched a ride here with one of them.” Pointing toward Susanna’s room, I add, “I’ll have to change my ticket. I still have a few days of vacation I can use.” Waving him off, I don’t want him to continue this line of questioning.

“So, you’re giving in.” He says it like a statement, and I feel like he’s making his opinion abundantly clear. I stare up at him blankly until he adds, “To them.”

Choosing not to answer, I let my back hit the wall and slide down to squat as I go through my things. It’s pointless, but I’d rather not see the way he’s studying me. Tugging my phone out, I pull up the website for the bus and start the process to change my trip to go home instead of back to my apartment.

“What are you doing?”

“None of your business, pendejo ,” I snap out, tapping on the screen with a bit more force than necessary.

When he squats down, lowering himself to my level, he takes my phone. I suck in a hissed breath to lay into him, and he holds a hand up. “Stop.”

I glance between his face and my phone, which is once again in his hand, then hit him with my meanest glare. “Stop what? ”

“Stop making changes. Where does your family live?”

Rolling my eyes, I explain they live an hour away from here in the same direction as my apartment. Honestly, changing my bus won’t put me out. Not financially, at least.

Cocking his head curiously, his eyes roam over my face before he clenches his jaw and nods. “I’m going on vacation. I have a cabin on the way. Why don’t I drive you? It’ll save you some cash and get you there sooner than the bus would.”

“No. Thank you, though,” I tell him, plucking my phone from his hand.

I freeze when he grips it and locks eyes with me. “There’s no need to be argumentative. I’m literally going in that direction. Don’t be a pain because you’re pissed off and want to be stubborn.”

Shaking my head slowly, I’m not sure if I’m agreeing with him or telling him no. “What are you?—”

“Get your things. Go say goodbye to your friend,” he orders as he stands up.

Fuck, this man is sexy. And fuck him for being hot too. Fuck his demanding attitude and “captain” vibes. I won’t succumb to his bullshit. My inner self whispers, that’s a filthy lie , and I want to smack her.

I follow him up to my feet and find myself walking toward Susanna’s room. Hesitating, I peer over my shoulder where he’s still leaning against the wall. “Are you sure? It seems like an inconvenience.” I don’t like it when people do things for me. It feels like I owe them, and I can’t afford to owe anyone anything right now.

“Go, Miriam.” That’s all he says, with a nod toward Susanna’s room.

Narrowing my eyes, I turn and march into the room and do what he says. Fuck him, goddamnit. I barely register how long it takes for me to say goodbye to everyone before I’m sitting in his big as fuck truck and speeding down the highway.

Breathing in deeply, I ignore the way he smells and stare out the window. There are store advertisements on the billboards as we speed past, and when I see one for a dollar store, I yell out, “I need to make a stop!”

“For what?” he asks. But he still signals the truck to merge to the right lanes so we can get off the highway.

A sneer spreads across my lips. Not for Captain Cooper, but because fuck my brothers and dad for making me come home. “Tito needs a present,” I tell him as I spy the store in the distance, knowing I’m not making any sense.

When he’s silent, I glance over, then giggle at the way he furrows his brow as he takes the exit. I bite my cheek to hold in a laugh when he asks, “Who the fuck is Tito?”

“The family cat. Lucifer .” I tell him. No more explanation is needed. That cat is the goddamn devil.

Even with the captain questioning my intentions, he still does as I ask. “What do you need to get him? Where am I going?”

“There.” Pointing to the dollar store, I anxiously bounce my knee as he pulls into a parking spot in front, and the moment he stops the truck, I push my door open. “I’ll be right back.” Without waiting to see if he follows, I jog inside, immediately going to the Christmas decorations. Checking out their selection, my eyes fall on the red tinsel packages, and I just know I have to buy it. I grab four of them, shoving them under my arm, and within two minutes, I’m checking out. With tax, I pay just less than five dollars, and I can’t think of a more superb way to spend my money.

I’m back at Captain Cooper’s truck quickly, hopping in like I didn’t just delay him. I feel a sense of pride as I drop the plastic bag on the floor between my feet and grin at him. “Alright, I’m ready to go now,” I tell him, the smile on my face massive as I rub my hands together.

He eyes the bags and asks, “What’d you buy?”

“Tinsel.”

“Tinsel? Why?”

Snorting out a laugh, all I say is, “Because.” He waits for more explanation, so I with as must passion as I can muster, I explain with two words. “Fuck. Lucifer.”

The way he wrinkles his nose is kind of adorable, but I do my best to ignore it. Leaving the lot, he asks, “What does tinsel have to do with your cat?”

“Have you never had a cat before, captain?” I ask, turning my body toward him. I feel this energetic high, and I can’t stop my body from bouncing in excitement. A surge of energy works through my veins, filling me, and I’m ready to do something crazy. If Lucifer has to bear the brunt of it, then so be it.

“Nooo,” he drawls out.

Jerking my head back slightly, a slow grin lifts my lips in pleasure as I explain. “Cats freaking love tinsel. They can’t stop themselves from eating it. So, when I get home, I’m going to cover the tree with loads and loads of pretty, shiny red tinsel.”

Dipping his chin, he studies me. “Won’t that hurt the cat?”

“Yup,” I say proudly. “I hope he fucking chokes on it. Fuck that cat. He’s a goddamn vicious bully. Honestly, he has it coming to him.”

The way he stifles his laugh sends a flicker of insecurity through me. Maybe I said too much or the wrong thing. Or I sound like a psycho, but seriously, that cat is insane. Lucifer used to wait for me when I’d come home at night and as soon as I’d walk to my bedroom, he would launch his fat as fuck body toward me, attacking my ankles with teeth and claws. And that’s only if I was in front of my bedroom door. He’d also slink up the stairs and try to trip me as I was walking up.

That bastard has tried to kill me… on multiple occasions. He’s a murderer in the making. I’m just his first chosen victim.

“You’re a vicious little thing, aren’t you?” Captain Cooper asks, and I simply shrug my shoulders. He doesn’t seem too put off by my plan, so I shove my insecurity deep down where it has to fight to surface again.

I’m not sure what he wants me to say, so I stand firm. “Fuck. That. Cat.”

He doesn’t say anything else, and maybe I should feel guilty about my plans for Lucifer, but I don’t. I’ll stay prepared. He always is, the little fucker.

We spent the next twenty minutes driving on the highway in relative silence. I hate sitting in a car with people when no one is talking. We don’t need to chat for the entire two-hour drive, but the longer this goes on, the more awkward I’m feeling. I’m tempted to tell him stories, but the longer he goes just staring at the road, the more I feel like this man really doesn’t like me.

His phone starts ringing and I’m actually thankful he answers it on speaker, just for some entertainment.

“Cooper.”

Who the fuck answers the phone like that?

“ Hey. Veronica’s plane is grounded because of the storm. She’s not coming. She said she tried to reschedule, but they aren’t booking out for another three days because of this storm that’s hitting everywhere. ”

I give him the illusion I’m not listening by looking out the window, but I can’t help but listen in. Who’s Veronica? This random guy’s girlfriend? The thoughts flicker through quickly before I realize I should probably check my weather app on my phone. I didn’t realize there was a winter storm coming. Maybe I should just go home if we’re about to be hit. The last thing I want is to be stuck at my dad’s place with my brothers.

“Fucking hell. Goddamnit! ” Cooper growls out. That catches my interest. Why is he so frustrated that his friend’s girl can’t make her flight?

“ We’re already here, but I haven’t told them yet. What should we do? Just go home? ” the man on the phone asks.

Of course, the moment I glance over at him is when he finally decides to look at me. When he removes the call from Bluetooth and holds his phone up to his ear, I know he doesn’t appreciate my listening in.

“No. Don’t send them home yet. Just give me a few minutes to figure shit out and I’ll call you back.” He listens to whatever the guy is saying and slowly nods his head, then looks in my direction again. “Maybe. I’m a little over an hour away. Maybe an hour and a half. We need anything up there?”

I can hear the muffled voice of his friend, but nothing is coming through clearly. I’m nosy and I really want to know what plans Veronica disrupted by not showing up.

Eyeing the bag filled with tinsel between my feet, I find myself jealous these guys had plans that have been ruined enough to leave them feeling disappointed. My only plan now is to make sure Lucifer’s death is long and painful. And cooking. Always fucking cooking.

“I might have an alternative. Let me call you back once I get it sorted. I’ll call you back,” he clips out coldly, but I’m too far gone into my thoughts about my upcoming work to care.

Ending his call, we continue to drive for another few minutes in silence before my traveling partner clears his throat.

“Miriam?” My name is spoken almost tentatively, but I’ll take anything at this point to not have to think about the chaos I’m about to walk into. I love my brothers dearly, but they expect far too much from me.

Turning to him with a fake smile, I add a little cheer to my response. “What’s up?”

He seems resigned and not very enthusiastic when he says, “I have a proposition for you.”