Page 41

CHAPTER 41

MIRIAM

“Miriam?”

I blink up at Dr. Belle, static noise filling my ears. We’re going to have a baby today, Miriam. I don’t think we should risk pushing your blood pressure any further. It’s too high, and I’d rather not keep pumping you full of meds for just another week.

Another person calls my name. “Miriam!”

I drop my chin to my chest and breathe deeply in an attempt to keep my panic from taking over.

“ Mi pétalo .” Ezra’s pleading tone finally snaps me out of my spiraling thoughts. Lifting my head, I blink at him and when I see his worry, I crumble.

Kevin pushes his way through those crowding me, placing his hands on my shoulders until I peer up at him with watery eyes. He cups my cheeks and presses a soft kiss to my lips.

His forehead rests against mine. “Deep breaths. We’ve got this.”

I nod against him, ignoring the arrival of more nurses chattering away as they bring in a wheelchair to take me up to labor and delivery. Dr. Belle places a hand on my shoulder, drawing my attention to him.

“Miriam. You’re going to do great. I’m going to let them get you settled, and we’ll start you on Pitocin right away to get things moving along. Your baby is doing well and considering you’re over thirty-seven weeks, I see no complications on our horizon at the moment. You do your job and I’ll do mine. Agreed?”

Things move fast over the next few hours. All of the guys are allowed to be in my labor room, which I’m glad for because there’s no way I’d have been able to choose who could stay and who needed to leave.

Every time a nurse came in to check on me, every single one of them stood back along the wall to give them room. All of them except for Kevin. He never moved from my side, sitting by my head with murmured words of strength and support.

Blessedly, I was already starting to dilate before Dr. Belle had me induced, so as soon as I had my IV and Pitocin was started, things progressed rather rapidly. It was only about six hours before I was transitioning from regular contractions to those that took my ability to speak away.

Poor Ezra, unsure what he should be doing, continues to bring me styrofoam cups filled with shaved ice. He offers each one with hesitation. I do my best to show him my appreciation, but every time a contraction hits me, I fold in on myself and he breaks apart with me.

Dropping to his knees when I keen in pain, he panics. “ Mi pétalo . My love. How do I help you?”

I clench my teeth against the pain as Tatum rushes to Ezra’s side. “Ez. Breath through this contraction with her.” He looks at me and takes a deep inhale. “Like this. Breathe in, hold it for a couple of seconds, then blow it out slowly through your mouth.”

Both Ezra and I do it together and I honestly think Ezra gains more from the methodical steps than I do. Watching him suck in air and hold it with his cheeks puffed out, then nod his head as he blows it out as he counts is so adorable, I almost forget about the pain.

Richard has been sitting at the side of my bed, holding my hand every time I contract, letting me squeeze the fuck out of it without one complaint. He’s never shown any worry since we started, only confidence.

Dr. Belle comes into the room and checks where I’m at. I grit my teeth and fight the urge to push when the next contraction wracks my body.

“Alright Miriam,” he says, snapping his gloves off and reaching for the computer to type notes in. “Are you ready to meet your little guy?”

My eyes flick to Tatum in fear, and he nods his head in encouragement. “Now?” I ask, panicked that we’re already here. Crying out, I grab at any hand available to me. “I’m not ready!”

Kevin moves behind me, helping me sit up as the nurses with my doctor get everything ready for my baby. My vision narrows, focused on Tatum and Richard moving in next to my legs. The nurses tell them how to hold them while I push and Ezra slides his body behind everyone at the foot of the bed to watch what’s happening.

Kevin’s lips touch my ear, his warm breath brushing my skin while he reassures me. “Listen to me, Miriam. This is going to be fine and you’ll be perfect. You’ve got me the whole time. No matter what happens around us, I’m here for you . Do you understand?”

Another, much stronger contraction hits, and I nod quickly. “Do you feel my hand, Miriam? I want you to push against my hand.” I squeeze my eyes and do my best to focus on the feeling, a deep pressure moving through my body as my baby demands his entrance into this world.

It feels like it’s forever until my body eases and I lean back against Kevin, breathing hard to catch my breath. His hand runs over my cheek and forehead followed by his lips and praise. “So good, Miriam. So, so good. Rest now for a moment. I’ve got you.”

Everyone is quiet in between each contraction while I gain my strength, only to have my muscles tighten minutes later as I push again. The blood pressure cuff around my arm keeps tightening around my bicep, alarming every time only for one of the nurses to silence it and click away on the keyboard.

I’m not oblivious to how long I’m pushing and the change in demeanor when the staff starts whispering in my doctor’s ear, but I ignore them.

All I can focus on is the pressure between my legs, the hands rubbing my legs in encouragement, and Kevin’s body behind me lifting up and down, giving me something to breathe along with.

Finally, I hear the words I need to hear.

“He’s right here, Miriam. One more good push and you’ll get to meet your son.”

Crying out, I reach up and wrap my arms around Kevin’s neck, his palms running soothingly over them. “Fuck, girl… I’m so goddamn proud of you.” He kisses my temple just as my exhausted body contracts again.

Kevin sits up with me while both Richard and Tatum tighten their hold on my leg. Ezra cries, “I see him, petal! Oh my God, Gabriel’s hair is so dark!”

Sobbing, I push as hard as I can, screaming into the room as I feel him leave my body. An empty hole fills me almost immediately, but Dr. Belle is handing him to me so quickly, it’s only a moment in time until I feel whole again.

My son…

Mi bebé…

Leaning against Kevin’s chest, I let the doctor and nurses do what they need to do as I lift a shaking hand to soothe my crying baby on my chest. I lift a shaking hand to touch his brow and hold him tight, crying in relief that he’s alright.

His cry is so soft, barely a whisper over my loud sobs and words of praise from the men I’ve fallen deeply in love with over the past few months. Kevin’s cheek is resting against mine, mumbling words of how well I did while Tatum and Ezra are saying how beautiful he is. Richard is silently watching all of us, his eyes watery, overwhelmed with the moment.

“He’s perfect,” I cry, cupping Gabriel’s head as he continues to cry. Gabriel. His name is perfect and I know I chose right as my gaze roams over his face. It’s scrunched, pissed, and beautiful.

One of the nurses pushes her way between Ezra and Tatum with a blanket and starts rubbing at his body, only serving to piss my son off more. She flashes a smile at me, then helps guide him down to my chest.

Kevin shifts, bracing his knees far apart so I can sit up. “Let’s see if he’ll latch right away for you, then we’ll get his measurements and get him cleaned up.”

Nodding, I let her help me open my gown and we work together to bring his mouth to my nipple while everyone watches. Everyone’s breath is held as Gabriel cries, nuzzling hard against my skin until he finds me.

It’s an odd feeling, the moment he latches and sucks hard, but it’s also so natural that I just melt into Kevin’s chest. Laying my head back, I close my eyes as Gabriel feeds from me, instantly quieting down.

“There you go, Miriam. He has a good latch. This is good! ”

Her praise draws more tears, but my throat is so clogged I can’t answer her. I dip my chin again to look at him, my breath shuddering out once again. I can feel all of their eyes on me as we watch our son nurse for the first time.

Kevin’s arm wraps around my body, supporting my arm as I hold him to me, and I finally look up at them. A flurry of emotions has filled me, so I choke out, “He’s beautiful .”

“He’s the most perfect boy we could have ever had,” Tatum whispers. Leaning over the bed, he kisses me softly. “You both are incredible, Miri. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier.”

I nod and suck in a gasp, keeping another sob at bay. Ezra is watching us with so much love and fear I have to cup his cheek and smile to reassure him. His eyes dart to mine, relief written in his gaze, and he melts against my touch.

Kevin is still touching me, comforting me as I turn to Richard whose eyes haven’t left our boy. Gabriel releases his hold on me, mouthing the air for a moment but falling asleep quickly. I gather the blanket the nurse laid over him and wrap him up messily, then lift my baby up and hand him over to Richard.

“Hold him?” I ask, not sure what else to ask, but I just know that I need our baby in Richard’s arms at this moment.

He flicks his eyes to mine for only a moment before they fall back to Gabriel’s face. With so much care, he slides his hands next to mine, gathers the baby into his arm, and holds him to his chest.

Walking away from us, I stop myself from calling out to bring him back, and watch as Richard kisses Gabriel’s head as he walks them to the nurse.

He’s also hesitant to hand our baby over, but he does, and they’re quick to clean Gabriel up. They put drops in his eyes, weigh and measure him, then clean his body so quickly that our baby barely fusses at them.

Wrapping a receiving blanket around him, they tuck him in tight then hand him back over to Richard who walks him back to my bed. Tatum holds out his hands after checking in with me, then pulls him against his chest. He whispers promises into his ear before bringing him to Ezra, who moves to take him with shaking hands.

“Can I, petal?” Ezra asks, checking with me first.

I close my eyes, nodding once as I lay against Kevin’s strong chest. Smiling when Ezra promises to protect him with his life, my arms come up automatically when Gabriel is laid against me once more.

They push pillows around us and I doze, knowing they’re all right here and ensuring Gabriel and I are safe to rest after our ordeal.

I had a fucking baby today.

Kevin’s arm lifts and caresses Gabriel’s face as he lets out a shaky sigh. His chuckle feels like a massage as it rumbles through him. Whatever my doctor and the nurses are doing doesn’t phase me as the five of us stare down at the life we created.

I had a baby today, but I also watched four men become fathers. That’s something I hadn’t been prepared for and it’s changed everything. These men, all of them , are my life.