Page 43

CHAPTER 43

KEVIN

It’s late, well after midnight, but I’ve been working as quietly as possible on my laptop since everyone went to sleep.

The second I carried a sleeping Miriam into my home, I knew the guys were going to be here permanently, even Richard. While relationships haven’t been figured out, it was clear to see on all of their faces that they were in it for the long haul.

Thank God my house has so many bedrooms.

It’s the first night since we’ve been home with Gabriel that everyone is in their own room except for me. We quickly learned that when the baby fusses, we all wake up and it wasn’t feasible to continue with five people on limited, broken sleep.

Miriam suggested taking turns if we all insisted on being with her, which brings me here tonight, working next to her as she’s snuggled into my side.

As soon as she fell asleep, I slid the bassinet to my side since I knew I’d be awake late to catch up on emails. Over the last two hours, I’ve heard him shuffle as he stretches his arms and legs out, but thankfully his sleep has been essentially soundless.

As if they rehearsed it, they both let out a long, shuddering sigh at the same time. While Miriam seems to fall deeper into her sleep, the noise startles Gabriel and the beginnings of a cry work out of his tiny body. Setting my laptop to the side, I disentangle Miriam from my side, which wakes her.

“Stay there, I’ll get him.” The glow from my screen lights my way and I pick up Gabriel as she struggles to sit up. Not because she’s still overly sore, but from her body being so tired.

On autopilot, she leans against the headboard and unfastens her nursing bra, then pulls a pillow over her lap. Instead of reaching for him, her hands fall heavily to the side as she drifts back to sleep.

“Wake up for just a moment,” I say a bit louder. “Hold him long enough for me to get settled, then you can go back to sleep.”

This woman is so beat, she only nods and slumps forward, dropping her forehead on the pillow she’s hugging. My lip tilts up in a small smile. I suppose I’ll do this myself . I set Gabriel back into the bassinet, then pull him so close that once I get myself settled behind Miriam with her laying against my chest, I reach for him.

Between her half-awake attempts to help me get him settled at her breast, we eventually get to a spot where I’m wrapped around her, supporting Gabriel as he feeds from a now, fast asleep momma.

Her head is tucked under my chin while I watch him eat. When he releases his hold on her, Miriam sort of helps me lift him to rub his back, then after a little burp, I lay him on the bed to our right. Shifting her around slightly, I tuck her breast back in and fasten her bra, then release the other side because this boy is a big eater. Nighttime feedings have already turned into him going in for seconds.

She lets me settle him against her once more and I brush her hair with my lips while we lay together in the quiet room. I have a deep sense of pride that builds a little more every time an opportunity arises for me to take care of her.

Gabriel is her main priority, rightfully so, but I have every desire to make Miriam mine.

A soft light falls on her face and she adorably scrunches her nose until it goes away. Glancing at the door, I watch as Ezra sleepily shuffles into the room, and looks around until he sees the three of us curled up together and nods.

Instead of leaving, he falls on the end of the bed and tugs a throw blanket balled on the floor over his body. He doesn’t say anything, so I tap him with my foot, then whisper, “Will you change him? I’d rather not move her.”

Ezra was definitely uncomfortable with anything baby related those first few days. Not with the idea of helping out, but afraid he’d mess up. Every day, he gets more and more fluid with changing diapers and cleaning up little messes. The guy loves every damn quirky item he picked up from the store and isn’t ashamed to show off when they’ve successfully done what they were supposed to do.

As if he’s done it a million times, Ezra unwraps himself and heads to the changing area, grabs everything he needs, then brings it back to the bed where he lays out a changing pad. Then carefully changes Gabriel, swaddling him back up in fresh pajamas, and starts walking around the room to encourage him back to sleep.

I roll my eyes when Richard peeks his head in while Ezra is pacing. He notices Miriam asleep on me, then heads to Ezra with his arms open. The two of them exchange our package carefully. Richard smiles down at Gabriel and takes over walking with him, murmuring soft words as they roam the room.

Ezra crawls back on the bed and reaches for Miriam, who stretches her leg to him in her sleep.

“I feel bad about how drained she is,” Richard murmurs. I didn’t realize he was watching her, but I nod in agreement.

“She is. I read that just breastfeeding full time will exhaust a new mom. I can’t imagine how she’d have functioned alone had we not found out about her pregnancy.” It’s one of those thoughts that randomly plagues me from time to time. The whole what if scenario.

Richard huffs out a laugh. “She’d have been fine. That woman would never have slowed down, even for a second, if she had no other choice.” He’s back to staring at Gabriel. “I’m just glad she’s let us in.”

The damn door opens again, Tatum tiptoeing in and wincing when the door snicks shut. We all freeze when Miriam mumbles, “So glad you could join the party.”

“You’re awake?” I ask, brushing a strand of hair from her face.

“No, papí . If my eyes are closed, it still counts as sleep.” She cracks an eye open and grins, letting me know she’s just teasing.

“Sorry for waking you, Miriam,” Richard says, moving to sit on the side of the bed with Gabriel now asleep against him.

She shifts, but doesn’t move away from me. Ezra grins wide when she yanks her foot out from under the blanket it and drops it on his chest where he’s quick to begin rubbing it. After a long yawn, she reaches for her bottle of water and takes a sip.

“So, I’ve been thinking about?—”

Tatum cuts her off. “At one in the morning? Sounds ominous.”

She turns her head to look at the clock. “Huh, I didn’t realize it was after midnight.” Ezra stopped rubbing her foot when she started speaking, so she wiggles her foot until he starts back up again.

“What were you thinking about?” I ask, trailing my finger over her arm, just to touch her skin. It’s extra soft just after she wakes up.

With a shiver and a smile, she hums. “I was thinking about the paternity test.” Briefly, my finger pauses, but I wait to hear where she’s going with this. “I’ve thought about it and want your opinions. You know, since you all decided to invade my room. Wait, why are all of you in here? I thought it was Kev’s night.”

“Felt lonely,” Ezra admits with Tatum giving her a sheepish look and nodding in agreement.

Richard doesn’t answer, but I assume it’s the same for him. We’ve all been pretty addicted to being around both of them every second.

She wiggles in her spot and I rumble, “Say what you were thinking.”

“I can’t help worrying over how each of you will feel once you know.” She hurries to explain before anyone can argue. “I know you’ve all said it doesn’t matter, but the thoughts are still there. So, what if I only tell the person who is Gabriel’s biological father? You’ll technically know you’re not because I didn’t give you the information. But it will sort of leave that feeling of if you don’t know, you are kind of thing. Like subconsciously, you’ll still feel that he is . Does that make senses?”

Ezra’s chuckling fills the room, and she pokes him with her toe. “I already know who it is.”

“No you don’t, Ez.” She’s scowling, which only makes him giggle more.

Rolling to his side, he grabs her foot and pulls her closer to him. The warmth of her body immediately registers when she slides down my body, not fighting him. He crawls over her and starts kissing her face until she starts laughing.

“I do know, but I’m fine with your plan.”

“Okay, mi soldado ,” she says sarcastically without any heat behind her words. Then she twists her head to look up at me. “Are you okay with that, papí? ”

I take her offered hand when she reaches out to me and run my thumb over her hand. “It’s fine by me.”

“Alright,” Richard adds. “Do you know when you’ll find out?”

She bites her lip nervously. “Yes.” Nothing more, which means we won’t know exactly how long until one of us is told. He nods once and we look at Tatum.

He’s surprised to have us all waiting on him. “Oh. Sorry. Figured you’d know I was fine with it. As long as you’re comfortable with that. Will you tell Gabriel?”

“I will, when he’s older and asks. But if you’re all sure you want this, I don’t think it really matters in the end except for health concerns, family history, that sort of thing.”

“Then whenever you want, you can share that information. But now, I think we all should try to get some more sleep. I can’t sleep in there alone, so I’m going to grab my pillows and lay in here. Fuck taking turns.” Tatum grumbles the last bit, and without waiting for permission, leaves the room, only to come back a minute later with an armful of pillows and his comforter.

“We’re going to have to figure something out if this is going to be a regular thing,” I comment.

Miriam turns on her stomach and wiggles her way out from where Ezra had her pinned to the bed, then crawls back up to me. She’s bounced back pretty well physically since having Gabriel. “Well, I’ll let you all sort that out. I, for one, am going to go back to sleep.”

She slips under the covers and curls against me, her hair tickling my few day’s growth of beard as she flips it away from her face. I reach over and close my laptop. The emails can wait until tomorrow. I’d rather spend the remainder of the night curled up with her since Richard currently is on baby duty.

He rises from the bed and carries the baby to the rocking chair in the corner to continue holding the sleeping infant. We’ve all learned that if he falls asleep against one of us, he’s there until the next time he wakes hungry.

Miriam’s fingertips trail over my stomach, my shirt pushed up slightly by my waist. “I didn’t think it’d be like this,” she whispers with a hint of embarrassment.

“What did you think it’d be like?” I ask. My hand follows hers as she runs her touch over my skin.

She shrugs a bit and Ezra interjects, “She didn’t know how awesome it’d be.”

“Pretty much.” With a soft laugh, Miriam kisses my chest then hugs me tightly. “Goodnight, boys.”

Kissing her head, I close my eyes and let my lips linger on her head as I reply.

“Night, love.”