Page 17

CHAPTER 17

EZRA

Pulling out my lock picking kit, I shift my phone to my shoulder so I can be hands free.

“ Do you think you’ll find some time to come home for a visit this winter? ”

“I’m not really sure. I’ve got some things going on here that may be pretty big, so we’ll have to play it by ear.” Sticking my tongue out, I concentrate to unlock Petal’s apartment door. Fucking Tatum has been on my ass lately, so my opportunities to be here haven’t been as often as I like. Visions of her bathroom sink fill my head and I grin, just knowing I won’t be able to restrain myself. I haven’t been able to yet.

My mom continues chatting as if she didn’t hear me. “ I’m sure the Cadelles would love to see Tate as well. The two of you could fly back together. Kathy said that she’s barely spoken to him for months now. ” I roll my eyes when the fake sniffles start up. “ After you boys just up and left without a word, it’s like all of our worlds just stopped. We’d never been more scared, worried you boys would just DIE on the opposite side of the world .”

As soon as the door creaks open, I hold my phone again, shutting the door with my foot. “You all know exactly why we left, and honestly mom, dying wouldn’t have been such a tragic fate at the time.”

Her gasp is loud, but I don’t have time to pretend like nothing ever happened. “ That’s not fair! I did the best I could for you. I’m not sure why you feel the need to always throw it back in my face. You’ve always been like this, you know that? Ungrateful for the sacrifices I made when ? — ”

“When you decided to get drugged out with my abusive father to the point he overdosed, then shacked up with Mr. Cadelle on the side for money to fund your drug addiction? Is that the sacrifice you made for me? Or was it when you forced me to hide from my father by locking me in closets when he was raging, then forget about me so you could get your drug fix? You fucked my childhood and ruined the Cadelles’ home life. Why the fuck Kathy ever chose to stay with that man is insane to me.”

“ Ezra, ” she cries out, but there’s no real emotion behind it.

“No. You turned Tate’s dad into a mean, vile, disgusting pig of a man, and that home became a nightmare for my best friend. So, I promise you, Tate will definitely not be on board with coming home. I haven’t decided yet if I will because like I said, I’ve got something going on here I need to sort out.”

Needing to calm my anxiety down, I head into the bathroom first, bypassing her bedroom, which is normally my first stop. Snatching the loofa hanging from the faucet in the shower, I hold it to my nose and breathe in deeply. Her scent immediately fills my lungs, and my heart rate begins to slow.

Instead of responding to anything I’ve said, my mom, like always, focuses on the only thing that won’t make her feel like a piece of shit. “ What do you have to sort? ”

“Nothing you need to know about. I’m not going to share, anyway. I need to go.”

Ending the call, I take another few moments to continue calming and settling my mind with my mom’s voice still stuck in my brain. Distractions are what I need right now. I gently rehang her loofa, then spin in the small bathroom to see if anything’s changed.

There’s a new tube of toothpaste on her sink, a different brand than she used to have. I open her cabinet and see nothing out of the ordinary, then squat in front of the lower cabinet and glance inside. A new package of toilet paper is now there, along with a larger stack of hand towels. She must have done laundry since I was here a few days ago. I love how meticulously she folds them, like in one of the home good stores.

The box of tampons is now shoved toward the back, the seal still unbroken. I frown and pull it out. Did she just replace her other box? Frowning, I place it back. Without shutting the doors, I lean to the side and grab her trash can and pull it to me. Sitting on my ass, I pick through the half full bin and find a plastic wrapper toward the bottom.

“What th—” My mouth falls open and I drop the package into my lap, staring with absolute disbelief. “Oh, mi pétalo , you have been hiding something!”

Carefully, I pick the item up and slide the plastic out further. It’s a digital test and quite obviously says PREGNANT on the display screen.

Everything in my head silences, and I am frozen in my spot, eyes unblinking as I read the word over and over again. Eventually, the words blur and I realize my eyes have watered over. Touching my cheeks, I pull my hand away, finding tears shining on my fingertips.

“Huh?” I blink and more heated tear drops fall and I start to panic.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I can’t take care of a baby! Oh Jesus, what if it’s mine?

Then, out loud, I say, “What if he’s messed up like me?”

My heart rate soars to the point of pain and I gasp for breath, shoving my fist hard against my sternum in an attempt to massage the ache away. Fumbling for my phone, I drop it twice before I’m able to hold it steady enough to call Tatum.

It just rings, then rings some more, then even longer.

“FUCK!” I scream out, slamming my palm against my forehead. “Think you fucking idiot!”

Kevin.

Dialing Kevin’s cell, I immediately start rambling the moment I hear the change in sound when he answers. “Kev! What if he’s messed up like me?” I cry into the phone. Without giving my friend a chance to answer. “There’s no way she can be safe on her own. The tampons haven’t been USED! ”

“ Ezra, I need you to calm down. What’s going on? ” His steady and sure temperament normally fills me with comfort, but not this time. I’m not an idiot. I know my head’s all messed up from deployments and my dad. My fucking dad.

I could be a fucking dad.

“Kev, what if I’m like my dad?” I choke out, then rub my palm into my eye and groan loudly.

He sighs into the phone, but not as if he’s annoyed with me. More like pity. I don’t want that either. “ I’m not sure what that means to be like your dad, but Ez, I need to know if you’re safe right now. Have you called Tate? ”

My shoulders fall. I’ve never filled anyone in on my dad, so of course he wouldn’t know. “Yeah,” I sniff, wiping my eyes and jumping to my feet. I hear noise toward the entrance of the apartment and pull my phone from my ear. “Shit, I’ve been here so long. I’m gonna make safety my first priority. I can fix him later if it comes to that.”

“ What? Fix who? ”

Instead of answering, I hang up the phone and quickly hurry into the closet in my petal’s bedroom. Mi pétalo y mi bebé . My petal and my baby .

And it’s that thought which has me unworried that she’ll hear me as I search her closet for a bag. There’s an old, wadded up duffle shoved behind some storage boxes. As soon as I have it on the ground, I pause and listen to see if she’s on her way, ready to discover an intruder in her home.

I’m relieved but also frustrated when she slams drawers in her kitchen while loudly talking on her phone. She needs to be much more aware of her surroundings, but we’ll work on that. I listen to the muffled argument she seems to be having as I start shoving dresses into the bag.

Dresses are good for a growing belly, lots of room.

I leave the closet and head to her dresser and grab handfuls of panties, as well as a few pairs of socks. I skip the pajama drawer because Tatum and I can loan her our shirts to sleep in if she’s cold. Glancing around, my eyes fall to her desk and I quickly unplug her laptop, then gather everything that looks like school work and shove it inside as well.

“You have to remember PEDMAS, Loren. Parentheses, exponents… I’ll explain those in a second… Damnit, Loren. Would you just listen for three seconds? Okay, then there’s division and multiplication, then addition and subtraction.” She pauses and I peek out the door and see her staring at the ceiling, thinking.

I sprint to her bathroom with the bag, staying silent on my feet, then grab everything I can from her shower as she continues her math lesson to, I assume, one of her brothers.

“You go from left to right. You can’t—” I bite my lip when she growls through the phone and curses under her breath. “I’m trying to help you, hermano. Start it over and, wait, is that Cristián? Cristián! Help Loren with his algebra! ”

Using my toe to push the door almost closed, I look up her building, then call the building and tell the doorman her food delivery has arrived, but that it’s a surprise from a friend, so she’ll probably argue. Understanding the assignment, I hang up and wait until she stops talking, then tells her brother she has to go.

I’ve got to give her at least some credit for staying in a fairly safe building, even if the one security guy is over a hundred years old. Waiting as she argues with the doorman, finally she mutters curse words as she shoves her shoes back on, then storms out the door.

Slinging her bag over my shoulder, I wait only a minute before hurrying out of her apartment, then down the back stairwell and through an emergency exit. Thankfully, there’s no alarm and no one sees me. I circle the building and see mi pétalo standing outside, looking around with a frown.

With her back to me, I hurry behind her and count my lucky stars that I was in a hurry and parked just across the street.

My arm goes around her waist as if we’re walking arm in arm, and grip her tightly when she attempts to yank herself away, turning her face to me, then stalling as soon as she recognizes me.

“ Hijo de puta ! What in the actual fu—Ezra? Why are you here?”

I encourage her to keep walking, which works as I talk to keep her from paying attention to where we’re going. “I saw you standing out here and couldn’t believe my eyes, my petal!”

With an eye roll, she huffs. “Fuck off with the my petal shit. Seriously, there’s no reason you should be here. What are you doing?”

“Protecting you,” I say as I open my passenger door, then palm the back of her head, pushing it down so she doesn’t hit it on her way inside. I think she’s so stunned by what’s happening, she doesn’t even put up a fight. So I shut her in, then press my key fob to lock it up.

Jogging around to the driver’s side, I unlock it again quickly, then slip inside and reach across her quickly to keep her from getting out. “Just wait a second. I just want to talk for a few minutes.”

Blowing out a breath, she crosses her arms and looks at me expectantly without a word. I use her concession to toss her duffle in the back, giggling to myself when she yells out a, “Hey! That’s mine!” and start the car up.

I drive us into the road then pick up speed and it’s as if everything just settles in for her. Like a lightbulb flickers on inside that beautiful head. Most women would immediately start crying or fighting the door to get out, but not mi pétalo . I won’t lie and say I was prepared, but her tiny fist flies into my jaw, clipping my upper lip enough to split it.

Touching it, I pull my red tinged fingers away and smile even wider when I taste metal, then immediately grow concerned. “Did you hurt your hand? You didn’t ball your fist properly. If you tuck your thumb like that, you risk breaking it. Thank God it was a weak punch. We’ll work on it.”

“You’re bleeding, pendejo . I think I did good enough.”

Smiling through bloodied teeth, I reach out and stroke her cheek. She’s angry enough that she doesn’t flinch away. Instead, she snaps her teeth at my finger to force me away, then looks out her window.

With a lustful sigh, I turn back to the road and press on the gas pedal, speeding up to exactly the speed limit. Any faster and I’ll put her and the baby at risk, which reminds me.

“You’re gonna make such a great mom.”

From the corner of my eye, I see her whip her head toward me and her soft, lilac scent hits me like a brick, forcing a groan from me as my cock hardens. Fucking her is going to be a dream when she’s all baby belly and full of fire.