Page 16

CHAPTER 16

RICHARD

“Sorry for being late. I got held up by a meeting before leaving for the day,” Kevin says, sitting down across from me at our regular restaurant.

“Don’t worry about it.” I wave a hand at our server to let her know my friend has arrived, and she hurries over. “Can we get a couple of rum and cokes? Something top shelf, but the bartender can pick which one.”

“Not a problem,” she says, jotting down our order. “Would you like a few moments before ordering?”

Reading her nametag, I flash her a smile. “Yes please. Thanks, Katie.”

She hurries away, and I turn to Kevin. “I have a proposition for you, and I want you to hear me out before you immediately say no.”

He sits back and crosses his arms. “I’m all ears.”

“Victoria called me.”

Raising a brow, he doesn’t say anything at first, then asks, “She’s the one we were supposed to meet, right?”

“Yes. So, I know we normally wait a bit before we go, but she’s very on board with meeting us, and I’d like us to go.”

Leaning forward, Kevin opens his mouth to respond, but Katie shows up with our drinks. “You guys know what you want?”

Thankful for the interruption, I order a medium rare steak with their house potatoes and sautéed mushrooms. Looking at Kevin, I’m frustrated with the hard look he’s shooting in my direction.

“I’ll have the same thing,” he says, then hands over his menu and I do the same. As soon as she’s gone, he leans forward and lowers his voice. “By us, do you mean us? ” he asks, waving a hand from him to me. “Or do you mean Ezra and Tate as well?”

Rapping my knuckles on the table, I take another sip of my drink to consider how I want to answer. “If you think they need another weekend up there, then we can send the invitation, but honestly, I was thinking just the two of us with her. Last time was… well, Ezra was a bit of a problem and Tate did nothing to help rein him in. “

“The last time was a bit of a different situation we hadn’t found ourselves in before. I’ll be honest; I’m not sure I’m up for another trip there. I don’t…” he trails off, considering his words, then admits, “The way things ended doesn’t sit right with me.”

I grow irritated, mainly because that whole weekend with Miriam has been bothering me. I’ve felt on edge ever since, and the only way I know to expel this pent up energy is to move on to someone new. My next words aren’t the ones I had planned to say. “She contacted me. Miriam.”

He seems surprised and gives me his undivided attention. “Really? Why?” I don’t miss the way he glances at his cellphone sitting on the table, which tells me he never received a call. That only piques my interest in why she’d have called me and not him.

Shrugging, I hate to admit that I didn’t bother to ask. “She called me at my office and I reminded her of the NDA and asked her to stop trying to contact me.”

“But why did she call?” he asks, leaning his body toward me and it hits me. He fucking wants her again.

Matching his energy, I lean forward as well. “Get your mind away from her, Kev. It’s been like two months, and she was a bad decision to begin with.”

“Why? Because you didn’t vet her yourself? Jesus, Richard. She was the best we’ve ha?—”

“No!” I say louder than I should, drawing attention from others eating at the restaurant. “No,” I repeat, angrily whispering this time. It’s a lie, and we both know it, but I won’t back down. Miriam is a wild card I can’t control. Not that I need to control her , but I don’t trust myself around her and that’s something I’m unwilling to bend on.

My friend clenches his jaw, working it side to side in frustration. “What did she call you for?”

“I have no idea, Kevin. I didn’t ask.”

I leave him with nothing to say, so he looks down. Katie, our waitress, brings over our meals and sets them in front of us quietly, obviously sensing the tension. I thank her, then pick up my fork and point it at him. “I want to go back to the cabin. Victoria has some time off next weekend, so I can fly her out like we had originally planned. The only reason we’re feeling off is because things weren’t wrapped up the way they usually are, and she lashed out.”

When he still says nothing, I try one more way, softening my voice so he can hear how sincere I am. “Please, Kevin. Come with me. I think we both need this. I’m struggling at work, anxious and restless, and I know you are as well. This is how we’ve always handled it.”

His fork is midway to his mouth, but he sets it on the table, seemingly disgusted by his meal. But thankfully, he concedes. “Alright. I’m not calling Tate or Ezra, though. If we’re going to do this, I’d rather have it be more low key. Next weekend?”

“Yes,” I reply quickly, growing excited quickly over the idea of emptying myself inside someone again. Flashes of dark hair spread across her pillow slam into me, but I bite my cheek and force my thoughts to turn blonde. Victoria is blonde, what I’ve always preferred.

Pushing away from the table, I watch, confused that he’s standing. “I’m not hungry. I’ll check my schedule and let you know if there’s a conflict, otherwise I’ll follow you up there.”

“You don’t want to want to finish eating?”

I feel as though I’m miscalculating his agreement to participate, but Kevin is nothing but sure with his words, so I don’t think that’s it.

Dropping his napkin to the table, he pulls out a couple of twenties and sets them on the table. “Not particularly. I’ll see you next week.”

With that, he turns and leaves me to dine alone.

I have no problem eating by myself. I’ve done it plenty of times, so I turn to my meal and enjoy the steak, alone with my thoughts. Only this time, the more bites I cut from my steak, the more infuriated I become at Miriam.

Why couldn’t she have been like all the others?

Had she just followed the rules, not taken off in the most immature way with insults, then blocking all contact, I don’t think it’d have taken long for me to be on board with inviting her out again.

She really was the best .

Coming inside her was more fulfilling than it ever has been before. I’ve tried to identify my need for it, ‘cum fetish’ or ‘breeding kink’ as the internet calls it, and I’m fairly certain my need is driven by a wish for connection. A kind of intimacy I don’t feel safe enough to get from an actual romantic partner.

Well, that and I love the primality of it as well. There’s nothing more raw than knowing I can have control over creating a life with someone, but the idea of raising a child terrifies me. It didn’t used to, but all things change as we get older.

I have Kayla and Josephine to thank for that.

Kayla was my college girlfriend and fuck, she was wild. We met when I was a junior and she was a senior. I never knew what mood she was in, whether it be adventurous, romantic, distant, playful. But she was exciting to me and I was immediately infatuated and hooked from the excitement that was her.

While both of us had goals of going to law school, she was already accepted into a really great law program, so I followed her there. One year of long distance was fine with me since we made an effort to see each other on breaks and holidays, throwing in a random weekend here and there, but she took her freedom from me and ran with it.

When I showed up to surprise her, I found her having a study session with a classmate, only they weren’t pouring through pages of textbooks. Instead, she was getting fucked from behind and biting her pillow to keep her cries muffled.

Like the fool I was, I waited in the living room of her shared apartment, and felt shocked when I saw her roommate walk out of her room a few minutes later, using his shirt to wipe the sweat from his brow. All I got was a chin lift as he walked by and shut himself in his room.

Kayla took another few minutes before she found me. There were no tears or fear, just a sheepish expression at having been caught. Not even an apology, just a you had to know this wasn’t going to be forever excuse.

It hardened me. That betrayal was fucking awful, so I knew the next time I entered a relationship with someone, I would have a tighter mental list of requirements before I’d give my trust to them.

I thought I found that with Josephine. She was gorgeous, sweet, and innocent. She was the receptionist at the first firm I was hired at after graduating. It took months before I was comfortable asking her on a date, which I cleared with the company beforehand. The last thing any of us needed was a lawsuit, and we signed a stack of documents stating we would act appropriately.

My relationship with her lasted three years before I finally realized she was looking for an easy ride through life. It started slowly after she met my parents and saw what I would eventually inherit. She’d drop comments about wishing she could have something small, inexpensive, so I’d buy it thinking I was treating her. Those “wishes” grew heavier in price over the course of a year until I came home with a diamond bracelet for her.

She had a friend over to our shared condo I bought for us, squealing and excited when I handed over the box tied with a ribbon. What I didn’t expect was for her face to fall when she saw it, with a comment that the color won’t match the other jewelry I’d bought for her.

I was perturbed but assured her I’d exchange it for the correct color metal and received a warm kiss in thanks. Then she bounced off with her friend to continue gossiping. When we moved to this place, she quit her job at my firm because she claimed she wasn’t comfortable there any longer since she couldn’t kiss her “love” whenever she wanted.

She never got a new one. The day of the bracelet, I offered to run out to grab us all dinner since she and her girlfriend were already on their second bottle of wine, and when I returned, I overheard gloating that I’ll buy her whatever she wants. Then they giggled, and she continued with explaining that while I had many annoying traits, she could tolerate it for the bank account and never having to work again.

Those words broke me, forcing me to add extra requirements to future relationship requirement list, including being financially independent, a hardworking business woman, mature, and we’d live independently until it came time we’d agree to marry.

I left the apartment after giving her a week to pack her shit and leave. She took everything she could get her hands on, but I didn’t care. I just wanted her gone.

That’s what scares me about Miriam the most. She’s everything not on my list. She’s wild, untamed, young, not financially stable from what I can tell considering the number of jobs she has, and one I didn’t add on the list, but she’s got a temper. The only problem is, I find her inability to curb her words fucking intoxicating.

So, I have to stay far, far away from Miriam Delgado.