Page 49 of Steeling Light (Shadowed Debts #3)

What is more important? That the goal is achieved or that the ones closest to you stay safe? Sometimes, you must cut off the leg to remove the rot. This is why we are called priests. We hold no loyalty other than to the Order.

~Rhaskar Thorne, The First Book of the Priest

Ainslee

Cole is dead, and Rhion is the reason. I stare at the pyre that holds the man I followed for so many years. He was willing to die so that Maeve could live, and yet I know he wouldn’t have done that for me. No one searched for me. Sia told me he knew I was lost, but he did nothing to save me.

I cling to Rhion. Cole was my friend, but I am not Maeve. I was not the world he was trying to save. I would never be the most important person to Cole, but I am the most important person to Rhion. He swore he wouldn’t let anything happen to me. He swore it, and he meant it.

Rhion Rahn is neither a rebel nor a champion of the world. He is a man who loves long walks and enchanting. He laughs louder and kisses more passionately than anyone I have ever met. Yes, he commanded soldiers, and yes, he is incredible with a sword, but he is not Cole Cyrus.

Yet, he’s the one who killed Gethin. He’s the one who was willing to let the entire world burn to save me. He’s the one who pulled me down from that wall and used spellstones filled with dead Steel soldiers’ essences to heal me. He is not the man I followed, but he is the man I love.

The world will hate Rhion because of his part in Cole’s death, but I don’t.

Maybe I’m selfish. Finally. Maybe I learned the same lesson that Cole did in the end.

I’ve seen the smile he still wears in death.

I wish I’d been there to witness the glory that he’d passed into the void with, but I already know how he felt.

He was alive in a way he never was during our immortal lives. He’d found purpose during the Shattering, but that hadn’t made him burn that brightly. No, it was Maeve who showed him what life was.

I press my body closer to Rhion as Maeve climbs the ladder back down to the ground. Cole Cyrus was my friend, my leader, and my Prince. I had felt as much a part of the House of Flames as he was. I lived there. I experienced Casimir’s brutality. I… I was his family.

But I would have chosen Rhion over him just as Rhion chose me over him. Just as Cole chose Maeve over me.

There is a difference between loyalty and love, and all of us are learning that the heart will always win that battle.

Maeve takes the torch from Casimir and sets the line of pitch aflame.

My heart cracks as the fire climbs the pyre.

Cole Cyrus was the best of us, the strongest, the most driven.

And now he’s gone into the void. Now, when everything can be rebuilt, he doesn’t get to see it.

After a lifetime of struggle and pain, he won’t get to experience the joy of seeing his work completed.

That’s the saddest part of it. He was strong for so long, and now that it’s done, he doesn’t get the triumph of victory. He doesn’t get to enjoy the splendor of a healing world like he should. Instead, he’s lost to the void, and his bond to Maeve won’t allow him to rest at all.

I look at the girl—no, the woman—that Maeve Arden has become.

She was just a Wyrdling when I met her. Unknowing of our world.

Powerless. Prey. Now, she is the Queen. There is not a King or Queen more powerful than her.

Rhion will take his father’s place, but he isn’t like her.

He is not driven to change the world. Echo is a child who will need even more guidance than Maeve did.

And who will replace Cole? Who will sit on the Throne of Flame?

Yes, the stupid Wyrdling is gone, and a true Queen stands watching her husband burn.

I may have only known her for a year, but I called her friend.

Her heart and soul are breaking even though she stands stoically by the pyre.

The bond between Rhion and me has shown me just how bad it would hurt to lose him.

The flames burn beautifully, a raging inferno, and I’m glad Cole received this send off. He deserves a crowd watching him depart this world.

It only makes me cling to Rhion more. He looks down at me, not saying a word, but through our bond, I can feel his emotions.

Sadness for a lost friend. Happiness for the world we will live in now. Remorse for his part in Cole’s death. More than anything, though, is his need to keep me close, to keep me safe. His hand tightens around mine, and I feel safer. I feel loved.

“He was a good man,” Rhion whispers. “A better man than me.”

I shake my head. “No, a different man. He was the sun, and you are the moon. Just because he shone brighter than you, Rhion, it doesn’t mean he was any better.

The moon doesn’t help the crops grow. It doesn’t give warmth to the people of the world.

It isn’t even present on some nights. But is it better ?

I don’t think so. And remember that I was born in the City of Moonlight.

Maybe I prefer silver to gold. Maybe that’s why I fell in love with you rather than him. ”

Rhion’s only response is to squeeze my hand a little tighter, but I can feel his heart swelling inside him. I can feel the warmth of his emotions through the bond.

I don’t shed a tear for my closest friend, for my Prince, for the savior of our world. No, I can’t cry for him because his life and death are glorious. There are so many things worse than death.

But when I look at Maeve, I can’t keep the tears from welling up.