Page 33 of Steeling Light (Shadowed Debts #3)
Godhoods are selfish things. They seek to survive and gain power at any cost. And yet, they are adaptable. It is the union of the vessel and the godhood that creates the creature we call a god.
~Rhaskar Thorne, The Third Book of the Priests
Rhion
Morvael is even larger than he’d looked from above. Like a tower whose only purpose is to absorb the very light that fills the air, he looms over the stone walls. He is in the shape of a man, but his edges are blurry as if he can’t create a true form.
I don’t wait for him to even notice us. Wings sprout from my back, and I attack. Morvael hisses as I bring the light closer to him, and as I charge toward him, I do something I haven’t done since I was a child. I trip.
The glowing vine and my sword slip from my hands as I try to catch myself. I hit the ground hard, and the first thing I do is look at my foot to see what I tripped on. Around it is a dark loop of power that’s anchored to the ground.
Then it’s gone as Ainslee pours light into the area from behind me. It’s blinding, but I stare for half a second, amazed at how bright she’s become. I don’t have time to admire her, though, and I leap to my feet. I rush toward my fallen weapons, but when I look up again, Morvael is gone.
“He’s hiding,” I say. “Like we expected. He’s already shedding power.
” Ainslee nods, and then I see her mother, the Countess Adelynne, shivering like she’s standing in a winter wind just inside the doorway.
I’ve felt Morvael’s presence ever since we began flying toward the center of the Labyrinth.
It’s only gotten stronger the closer we came to him, but I’ve dealt with fear my entire life.
And I’m more terrified of my father than I am of a wounded god. All Morvael will do is kill me.
Adelynne hasn’t experienced that kind of terror very often, and it’s thick here. “Shine your light!” I shout at her, but she’s frozen. I’ve seen this happen on battlefields too many times to count. Cavalry charges are often successful purely because of how many soldiers drop their weapons or run.
Fear makes a person do the stupidest things. Like not using the only weapon we know will hurt this thing.
Ainslee shines brighter, but it’s not enough. She’s too far away from her mother. Appearing from behind Adelynne, a smaller version of Morvael grows from the ground. I’m already running. He doesn’t kill her. Instead, he whispers into her ear. She falls to the ground screaming.
And I can feel him draining her power already. No differently than I’d drain a spellstone, he’s drawing her power out, and as the seconds pass, he begins to grow.
“YOU COME HERE TO KILL ME? I WENT TO WAR WITH ALL OF THE GODS, AND ALL THEY COULD DO WAS CONTAIN ME, BUT YOU THINK TO KILL ME? I AM NIGHTMARES INCARNATE. I HAVE SWALLOWED KINGDOMS AND DRANK OF THEIR FEARS FOR EONS. COWER BEFORE YOUR GOD.”
Ainslee doesn’t respond. Instead, she charges and lights up the area like a star. Morvael lets out a hiss of pain or anger. I’m not quite sure which. I’m right behind her, blazing white light streaming from the rotten vine in my hand.
Morvael doesn’t retreat from the light this time.
Instead, he focuses on me first, and words fill my mind.
Not the God of Nightmares’. No. The world around me fades completely.
Instead of the center of the Labyrinth, I’m in my father’s study.
“Father,” I say softly. “When will you teach me to be King? Cole’s father is teaching him. When will you teach me?”
He's writing a letter, and at this, he looks up at me. I feel smaller. Younger. “Cole’s father is teaching him because Cole Cyrus will eventually be a King. You won’t.
You’re weak, like your mother. I shouldn’t even allow you to carry my name, much less inherit my Throne.
Go back to your friends and let me do my work. I have a House to run.”
I remember this. I remember what comes next, and it tears at my heart. “But, Father, I’m your son.”
He pushes his chair back and stands up as if he were going to fetch a pitcher of water. Instead, he walks around the desk to where I’m standing. I was five at this time. Tiny. Weak. A child.
Why am I seeing this? My mind feels odd, like I’ve drunk too much. I was somewhere else a moment ago, wasn’t I? There’s something important I should be doing, but it’s difficult to think about anything else when my father’s standing in front of me.
He bends over until he’s only inches away from me, and he says, “No son of mine could ever be as weak as you are. Your mother was probably playing the part of a whore, lying with anyone who would have her. Maybe that’s why you’re the way you are and why she died giving birth to you.”
I can feel the tears running down my cheek as he stares at me. They’re as salty as the sea. I know what happens next, though. I feel like I’ve been here before.
And yet, no matter how hard I try to fight against it, the words still come out of my mouth. “I am your son, Father. I will be King after you. It is your job to train me to be as great a King as you are.”
I stare up at him defiantly. He’s so much bigger than I am, so much stronger.
He is everything I want to be when I get older.
Smarter than the other leaders of the Great Houses.
More powerful. He terrifies everyone who stands before him.
Even King Casimir, the King of Flames. My father is the greatest King of Steel the world has ever seen.
But he hates me.
He slaps me across the face hard enough to knock me to the ground, and then he walks back to his desk. “Rhion, if you want to become King so badly, then prove to me you didn’t spurt from some worthless soldier’s cock into your mother’s belly.”
“How can I prove that?!” I shout at him. The tears are flowing steadily, but I’m already climbing to my feet.
I’m terrified of him, but the anger’s hot in my belly, and it gives me courage to defy him.
But his words kill that anger. “Kill Cole Cyrus, and I’ll accept it as proof that you are my heir. I’ll accept nothing less.”
His words are shocking. Kill Cole. My friend. Ainslee’s best friend. The person who everyone in the world worships nearly as much as a King. He’s the best warrior of all those who don’t wear a crown.
I say nothing to my father. What is there to say? It’s impossible? I don’t want to kill one of the only people I call friend? Ainslee would hate me forever if I did?
Then I remember. Ainslee. She’s not a girl anymore. She’s not just a friend. She’s so much more. She kissed me. I am not the child that cowered in shock at his father’s words.
I shake my head, and instead of fear and heartache like I’d had as a child, anger ripples inside me. Not at my father this time.
Because I remember I’m supposed to be killing a god instead of reliving memories of my childhood…