Page 39 of Steeling Light (Shadowed Debts #3)

Love is a funny thing. You lust for a man when all you see are the masks he wears.

You begin to fall for him as he reveals more and more of himself.

But love… you cannot love a man until you have seen the parts of him he hides even from himself.

Love is seeing your partner’s truth and never wanting him to put on another mask.

~Ainslee Emlyn, personal journals

Ainslee

I can still taste his lips, his sweat, his magical scent. My body is sore in ways that make my stomach twist in knots. I can still feel him deep inside me, and I’m still throbbing. Even as the dawn sun rises, it’s like his body’s never left mine.

I lick my lips to get another taste of him, to remind myself that what happened last night was real, as I stand beside the blanket we slept on last night. Still naked. Still drinking in the fact I am betrothed to Rhion Rahn, the man who has always understood me in ways that no one else did.

His soul lingers just outside mine. I can feel him, even as he sleeps, yearning to touch me again. He begs me to come back, to lay my head on his shoulder, just so he can smell me and feel my body next to his.

We aren’t entirely separate people anymore, but the connection is fragile. I can feel the strands stretching between us even now. We leave for Draenyth in only a few hours. After that… we have to go back to our lives. Lives where we’re on opposite sides of a war.

I gave Cole and Maeve my loyalty, but Rhion has a claim to my heart and soul.

The sun’s rays peek over the trees and set the world alight in gold, and all I feel is dread. What Rhion and I have is so tenuous, so terrifyingly fragile. Our future is walking a blade’s edge, and nothing but pain and anguish lies on either side of it.

It’s not simply the soul ache that will rip through me if something happens to Rhion. It’s the knowledge of what we have. I walked through the world with so little joy for so many years. Now I know what it is to wake up and smile at the sunrise. I know what it is to live .

He’s always been that person. From the time that we were children, I knew how important he was to me. I have cried more tears for Rhion than any other person in the world, and the thought of shedding any more for him is unthinkable.

“You are the most beautiful creature in the world,” he says from behind me. The despair evaporates at his words and the thought of his eyes roaming over my body. “What are you staring at?” he asks.

“The future,” I say as I turn back around to look at the man I’m betrothed to. The strands of our mingled souls beg me to go back to him. “We have to leave today.”

“It’s still a three-day flight from here to Draenyth.

I used to dream of having three days with you, Ainslee.

I’d have given anything to have you at my side for that long, so stop worrying.

Stop thinking and letting the future cut you before it’s even drawn its knife.

We have three days of long flights and longer nights together, and that is something to celebrate rather than dread. ”

He always has that attitude of eternal gratitude for every moment with me. There’s nothing we can do to change the future, so maybe he’s right. “Fine. I’ll forget about what’s coming. I can’t promise that I’ll be as lighthearted as you, but I’ll try.”

He smiles, and I can’t help but look at his beautiful naked body.

He’s lying on his back, and my eyes move ever downward.

From the sharp angles of his jaw to the striated muscles of his shoulders to his chest, which looks like he could crush boulders.

I linger on his abdomen for a moment, relishing the way he’d felt under my fingers—under my claws.

The way they rippled like Steel powers as he’d thrust.

Then my eyes go lower, to the coarse blonde hair that does so little to hide his cock. It’s standing straight and tall, and I swear I can see a bit of sheen on the tip already. His smile only gets wider as he sees me staring.

My heart pounds remembering the way he’d felt pressing me up against the tree, of how he’d always been exactly the right size. I’m still sore from it, and yet, the only thing I want more than to stay in Selithar forever is to feel him like that again.

He runs his hand over his shaft, slowly stroking it as he watches me approach. “You truly are the most beautiful creature in Nyth, Ainslee.”

I don’t respond even though his words make my heart beat faster. Instead, I keep walking toward him. Then, when I’m on the edge of the oversized blanket, I get down on my hands and knees and crawl toward him.

My body is pulsing with a rhythm I’m unfamiliar with.

I couldn’t use Steel powers if I wanted to.

I’m too lost in desire for my betrothed .

“Don’t move,” I say as loudly as I can, but it comes out as barely a whisper.

Maybe Rhion’s words worked because I’m not worried about the future right now.

My mind is barely worried about what happens this afternoon, much less what happens in three days.

Instead, I have a single, enormous thing in my mind. Rhion doesn’t move, not even an inch, as his eyes follow me as I crawl between his thighs. His hand is still around his shaft, and I re-iterate, “Don’t you move.”

He nods, but I don’t notice. Instead, I kiss the tip of his cock.

I savor the taste it leaves on my lips. It swells immediately, and I slowly kiss my way down the underside, my lips pressing against his fingers where they wrap around it.

When I get to his balls, he shivers, and his entire body tenses.

I press my cheek against his hand and inhale him. The scent of last night’s passion still lingers, and underneath it is his magical scent. Wildflowers with just a touch of metal. He moans as my tongue flicks over the base of his shaft.

“Are you sure you’re not a siren? You’ve barely touched me, and I feel like I’m going to explode already.”

It makes me smile. I kiss my way back up to the tip, and this time, as I wrap my lips around him, I look into his eyes. My hands go to his thighs, my fingers digging into them as I swirl my tongue around him and slowly bob my head.

He jerks as I touch a sensitive spot, and it only makes me move faster. “Ainslee,” he whispers, his voice more of a moan than words. Still, he doesn’t move at all. His cock is throbbing and much more swollen than earlier.

I pull my lips off him, and then I crawl forward, my hands and knees on either side of him. When I’m staring him eye to eye, I say, “You can move now.”

Then I kiss him. He moves so fast, so desperately. I expect him to grab my hips and pull me back onto his cock, but he doesn’t. His hands go to my cheeks, holding my kiss to him as he threatens to devour me.

My body quivers as he breathes me in, his tongue dancing with mine, and then he releases me.

His eyes are glazed over, just like last night, and when I pull back to sit on his chest, his breath comes out in heaving pants.

“You’re beautiful, too, you know?” I say.

I run my hand over his cheek and down his throat.

“You are what every other man in the world wishes they could become.” My finger glides across his shoulder where the muscles separate into narrow bands.

“I’d be whoever or whatever you want. As long as you keep touching me like this.

” I smile at him as I scoot further down his massive body.

I have to spread my legs wide to straddle him, and as I move across him, lightning shoots through me.

My fingers trace the lines of his body, and I lean forward to kiss his chest. He moans again, but this time, his hands run through my hair.

I look up at him, and he’s staring at me. “You’re teasing me.”

I just grin at him, and this time, when I sit up, I feel his cock pressing against my back.

He’s so hard, and even now, I can feel it throbbing against me.

I reach behind me and run my nails over it.

His body quivers under me, and his hips thrust. When I wrap my hand around him, he lets out a growl, and his hands move to my waist.

Those hands are strong enough to beat a man to death if he wanted. He is the physically strongest man I have ever laid eyes on, and yet, even when I’m purposefully teasing him, his hands are impossibly gentle with me.

I lean forward again, my hand never leaving his shaft, and I whisper, “I’m not made of glass.”

His grip tightens just a little, and then I angle him toward my entrance.

As he presses against me, I can already feel my body doing its best to prepare.

I take shallow breaths as I slowly push back against him.

It aches to be stretched like this, but a sense of pride fills me, and the possibilities know exactly what to do, shifting my body to better fit him.

He slides inside me. Rhion groans and pulls me down against him. My breasts press against his ribs, and he quivers under me. “You are my everything,” he whispers. “My sun and moon. The earth I walk on and the air I breathe. If I could choose any moment to live in forever, it’d be right now.”

I can feel him pulsing inside me. My body’s never felt so connected to another person. Through our bond, I can feel his emotions. His desperation and desire. His all-consuming love and gratitude that he has even this one moment with me.

I can’t reach his lips, so I kiss his chest. I need to show him.

I don’t have the words to express how much this means to me as well.

Rhion runs his hands through my hair and slowly thrusts his hips.

His hands move to my back and pull me tight against his chest. Just like last night, he can’t seem to let me go.

I moan against him. I love how gentle he is, but I want more. Like last night.