Page 18 of Steeling Light (Shadowed Debts #3)

“What’d you mean earlier? Before I ate that blood candy.”

He looks at me, his blonde eyebrow raised. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“About my making friends for the night.”

Rhion chuckles. “Oh, that. People are drawn to you, Ainslee. That’s all I was trying to say.

But only when you’re away from Darian and Cole.

They smother your presence. You hide behind them and become just as unnoticeable as a guard, but when you’re away from them, you shine like a star, and no one can ignore you. ”

I frown and turn to him. “I don’t understand. I’m no different now than when I’m with Darian and Cole. Why would anything change?”

He doesn’t look at me, his eyes still taking in the city from where we stand at the top of a small hill.

“Yes, you do. You let them lead. You talk about the topics they bring up. You do what they suggest. You laugh at their jokes. If Cole had said that he didn’t want to go to this tasting, would you have pushed him like you pushed me? ”

My stomach sinks as reality forces its way in. “No, I wouldn’t. If Cole had said we should do something else, then we probably would have done that. I wouldn’t have been angry, though. It’s just the way things are with Cole.”

At this, Rhion turns to me, and a hint of anger is in his eyes.

“Cole has priorities, and they are not everyone else’s.

He’s strong and very motivated in achieving what he wants to achieve, but he is not the only person in the world that matters.

You matter too, Ainslee. In my mind, you matter even more, and your wants and needs are even more important.

Just because Cole is trying to be the savior of the world doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t do silly things for no other reason than because it makes you smile.

Sometimes, it’s okay to smile instead of judging the world for being happy. ”

I want to tell him that Cole’s carrying the world on his shoulders, but when I look into Rhion’s eyes, I know I can’t talk about carrying a weight that’s too heavy. He may not carry the same weight as Cole, but he’s certainly experienced feeling responsible for things that are too big for him.

“Why are people drawn to me, Rhion?” I ask instead. “What is it that makes them look at me instead of you?”

The change of subject is enough to soothe his temper.

“Because you’re just impossible to look away from.

You have a light—not literally—that just…

draws the eye. It’s like we’re all moths and you’re the flame.

That’s a big part of why I can always find you in a crowd, even if you’ve shifted.

When I start walking, and I end up somewhere I didn’t mean to, I know that you’re there.

It’s like the world is pulling me to you, like you’re a lodestone and I’m a dumb piece of iron.

Plus, you’re beautiful. Who stares at me when they could stare at you looking like you do? ”

That doesn’t make any sense at all. “That can’t be true. No one notices me. They see Cole and forget I’m even there.” I completely ignore the comment about my beauty because if I think about that… I don’t know what will happen.

He presses his body against me and wraps his arm around my shoulders before leaning down and holding out his hand.

“Look at it, Ainslee. This city is gorgeous. It’s one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen, far more wonderful than Draenyth or the Keep of Steel.

But you can’t see it when the sun’s out.

It looks just like every other city then.

Cobblestones under your feet, houses and shops on your sides, and clouds in the sky.

You can’t see the beauty when the sun’s rays shine down on it because it doesn’t know how to shine in that light. ”

A shiver runs up my spine as his warmth and words wash over me. His scent is everywhere, and it’s like I can’t even smell the forged metal. It’s all wildflowers. It’s all freedom and wildness.

“You’re the city, Ainslee, and Cole is the sun. You hide your light when he’s around, letting him lead everyone, yourself included. But the moment he leaves you, you begin to glow. You become the girl I…”

He shakes his head and pulls back, removing his arm and that wonderful warmth from me. “You become the girl I could find anywhere,” he finishes. It’s obvious that those weren’t the words he’d wanted to say.

A sense of longing wells up inside me, and I want to press my body against his, to feel him against me again.

I don’t, though. Instead, I turn away from the city and look at him.

“You’re saying I’m only beautiful when I’m not with Cole?

” I mean it as a joke, and I expect the grin on my face to tell him I’m playing.

Somehow, he ignores the playfulness completely.

He chuckles. “No, Ainslee, you’re beautiful all the time. You just don’t shine when you’re with him.”

This time, I can’t let the compliment escape me, and heat warms my cheeks. I can’t acknowledge it, though, because I don’t know what it means. Is it a friend complimenting me? Is it more than that? It’s just too complicated.

“So you think I should spend time away from Cole? You know I can’t do that. He’s…” How do I word this? “He’s trying to save the world. You don’t just walk away from that so that you can shine .”

He shakes his head again. “I never said you should stop spending time with Cole or even stop being friends with him, even if he is a bit of an arrogant prick. I understand your loyalty to him. He’s…

he’s one of the good guys. I get it even if, by those standards, you should stay far away from me.

I just think that you should learn to stand a little taller, even when you’re around him.

He’s not some kind of god that everyone needs to follow blindly.

He’s the same as us, and you’re just as special as he is, even if you don’t see it. ”

I don’t respond for a few moments, and we just stare out at the city. Then a voice I really don’t want to hear right now comes from behind me. “Lee. I thought you’d left the city…”

Both Rhion and I turn to see my mother in an elegant, flowing dress made of metallic threads that she’s made shine in the night. The bits of cobblestone and buildings that had been glowing silver fade in the face of the light she exudes.

“Mother,” I say, acknowledging her presence and nothing else.

She looks from me to Rhion, her eyebrows rising in surprise. “Prince Rhion,” she says with a deep curtsy, and I can’t help but roll my eyes.

“Countess Adelynne,” he responds with a nod. “It has been too many years.”

She smiles at him, and I see right through it.

She doesn’t want Rhion here. Anyone from the nobility of the Great Houses scares her.

They’re dangerous in a way that no one in Selithar is, and it would take so little to take away the life she enjoys so much.

She’s powerful here because of her position and her skills at politics, but all of that is just fake power.

If Cole or Rhion came here and decided they didn’t like what she was doing, they could simply destroy everything.

Literally. No amount of gossip or politicking would stop them, either.

“I’ve been busy here,” she says softly. “Selithar’s concerns may not be as grand or important as Draenyth’s, but they are concerns, nonetheless.”

Rhion chuckles. “Cities have to be governed, no matter how small.” He turns to me and says, “I’ll bid you goodnight, Ainslee. It seems I’m not the only moth finding the flame tonight.”

He lifts my hand to his lips, and with a slow sensuality, he brushes his lips against my fingers. It’s formal and almost impersonal, but the feeling of his lips against my skin, even my fingers, sends me soaring.

Without waiting for my response, he releases my hand and walks away. I can’t help but follow him. After the way he felt, the way he’d talked to me… I can’t help but watch him. This is not the boy I was friends with. He’s so much more than I remember.

“Why is Rhion Rahn in Selithar, Lee? You said that no one was safe other than the House of Steel, and now the Prince is on my doorstep?”

This isn’t my mother speaking. It’s the Countess of Light worried about her people and House.

“You don’t have to worry about Rhion. Don’t let the gossipmongers talk about him, or you may end up having to worry about his father, but that man is no danger to anyone in Selithar. He’s here for me, and that’s all.”

My mother blinks, her confusion obvious. “Why’s he here for you? Are you in danger? I don’t know what we can do to protect you from the Prince of Steel, but I’m sure there’s some way we can smuggle you out of the city without him knowing.”

I shake my head. “He’s…” How do you explain to your mother that one of the most dangerous men in the world just wants to spend time with you?

“I’m not in any danger. We have an agreement—a magical agreement—that protects me.

He’s looking for something, and both of us are stuck waiting for a few weeks before we can continue our respective searches, so in the meantime, we’re exploring the city. ”

It’s like the fear that had been bubbling up inside the Countess of Light vanishes, and she goes from the woman with a crystal crown on her head to my mother in the blink of an eye.

“And you weren’t going to say anything to me?

You’ve been here for more than a week, and you've spent ten minutes with me. Why are you avoiding me?”

I stare into her ice-blue eyes that match her so well.

“Because, Mother, I didn’t want to be paraded around the flock of hens that surround you constantly.

I wanted to stay far away from the Keep of Light.

I wanted to rest and relax for a few weeks because my life has been harder than you can imagine for a very, very long time. ”

My mother stares at me for a few moments, and then she does something I don’t expect. She reaches out and hugs me. I don’t know what to do. I probably should hug her back, but I don’t. When was the last time she hugged me? The day she left Draenyth.

“I’ve missed you, Lee. I know that you’re off doing important things with Cole, but I have missed you and your brother so much.

You don’t have to come to the Keep of Light.

I don’t know why you hate it so much, but I can meet you wherever you want.

I don’t need to introduce you to anyone.

I just…” She pulls back, her hands going to my shoulder, and looks at me with pain in her eyes.

“I just want to talk to my only daughter.”

I swallow hard and realize how snarly I was with her. She’s done nothing wrong. She’s just… the Countess of Light. My mother embodies everything I hate about my bloodline. Adelynne Emlyn is who I could have been if I’d never met Cole, and that’s a future I’d have hated.

“I’m sorry, Mother. I just…” She pulls away completely, seriousness replacing the sadness almost immediately.

“You’re complicated. The House of Light and Selithar are complicated for me, and I wanted to avoid as much of them as possible.

The only reason I’m not holed up in an inn is because Rhion has been very pushy about experiencing everything Selithar has to offer.

But how about we meet for coffee tomorrow at lunch? We can spend some time catching up.”

My mother smiles at me as if I’d just given a child a bag of candy. “That would be wonderful. How about Spice? They have fabulous little blackberry teacakes.”

I give her a smile, and while everything in me wants to run, I say, “That sounds perfect. I’ll see you there tomorrow around noon.”

Then, surprising me yet again, she reaches out and pulls me in for another hug. “Thank you,” she whispers. Then, just like Rhion, she pulls back, gives me a smile, and leaves me alone. As soon as her Light is gone, the world glows once again. It only reminds me of the things Rhion said.

I shake my head and walk back to the inn that I’m staying at. What I thought was going to be the most boring month of my life has become one surprise after the next.