Page 22 of Steeling Light (Shadowed Debts #3)

I’m left dumbfounded by the statement. He had to have someone else.

Although I have a conflicted relationship with my mother, she truly cares about me.

Darian and Cole obviously do. Possibly Maeve as well.

But… he doesn’t have anyone. His father is…

well, he’s Gethin. I’ve heard nothing about his mother before, but she’s obviously not around. He’s never had friends other than us.

“No one else?” I finally ask.

He shakes his head. “You’re the only one, and to be completely honest, I doubt that will ever change.”

There’s a finality in the way he says it, as though he’s thought about it for a very long time. “You’re going to be the King someday. You’ll need an heir…”

He shakes his head, and his entire body tenses. “I won’t have children with some woman just to have an heir. I’ll find another person to sit on the Throne after me if it comes down to that.”

I frown, surprised at his response and the venom in his voice. “Why not? There are plenty of children living with one parent.”

“Like me? Like you and Darian? Like Cole? Our lives have all just been wonderful, haven’t they?

I’m not bringing a child into this world to live as all of us have.

And…” He pauses, his lips pursed as though he’s contemplating telling me something.

He looks down at the water in front of him and says, “And my father’s blood runs in my veins.

I could be like him. The thought of a child having to go through what I’ve experienced is unthinkable.

No, I won’t raise a son or daughter just to have an heir.

I’d let the whole damned House of Steel collapse before I did that. ”

I react to his words instinctively, running my hand over his arm. He looks up at me. “You aren’t your father. You’ve never been anything but kind to me. There’s no way you’d hurt a child, especially your child.”

And the look in his eyes is anything but soft, even though his words are barely more than whispers. “I’ve hurt many children, Ainslee. I’ve hurt plenty of people, and I’ll hurt plenty more.” He turns, pulling away from me. “You know, maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe this whole idea was stupid.”

Normally, I’d let him go. I’d let him walk away because there’s still a division between us, and it’s only the tenuous truce we agreed to that lets me spend time with him without worrying about the future.

Tonight is not a normal night, though, and the effect of the Moonlit Pools is not something I’m used to.

I don’t care about the barrier between us. I don’t care what happens tomorrow or the next day. Very little matters other than that my friend hates himself, and I can’t allow that.

I reach out and take his wrist. “No,” I say stubbornly. “No, you do not get to walk away from me, Rhion. You don’t get to take me to this pool, convince me to get in, and then leave. Your father pulled you away from me as a child, but he’s not here. You will not let him pull us apart again.”

He whirls on me, and for the first time in my life, I see anger flash in his eyes in my direction.

The smile that never fades is gone, and fury has him snarling at me.

He leans forward, bringing his head almost to my level.

“You don’t have any idea what’s wrong, do you?

No, of course not. You never have. No matter what I’ve said, you’ve never understood the way I felt. ”

“What do you mean? You were always my…”

“…friend,” he finishes. “You didn’t see what you were to me, did you?

You were more than my friend; you were my heart.

” He pauses for a moment and shakes his head.

“You still are. And at the end of all of this, you’ll still be.

The difference is that the most I’ll ever be is your friend.

No different from Cole or his Wyrdling.”

“Maeve,” I correct subconsciously.

He huffs and pulls back. “I wouldn’t want a child because that would involve another woman, and for me, there will only be one woman that matters.”

Wait. I blink. What is he saying?

“In nine hundred years, you’ve never…”

“Fucked a stranger who only wanted to get into the good graces of the Prince of Steel? Gotten drunk and gotten lost in the sheets with someone who wanted to use my poor decision to better her position? No, Ainslee. I’m not that kind of man.”

I run my hand over his cheek and feel him. Not as my friend. As a man. I stare into his gray eyes and see the desire in them. It’s so unlike any other man who’s looked at me like this. It’s not for my body or the pleasure the night could bring them. It’s something deeper.

“Rhion, why are you telling me this now?”

He shakes his head slowly and pulls back, but there’s no anger there any longer. Just sadness. “Because I… because I couldn’t stop myself.” He looks at the pool and curses. “Because this damned pool made me forget what I was worried about, and because I want you but know I’ll never have you.”

A tingling starts inside me as I look at him.

Never did I imagine someone caring about me like this.

I’ve had men want me before, but they were short-lived flings.

Moments of excitement and fun, but nothing real.

When they looked at me, it was like they were looking at a new toy, and I looked at them the same way.

This is a burning need that has torn at Rhion for a lifetime. An Immortal lifetime.

Maybe it’s his words or his intensity. Maybe it’s the pool or that I’ve felt something for him for as long as I can remember, too.

I just couldn’t let myself act on it. I step closer to him, and I put my hand, not on his hand or arm, but on his chest. Through his undertunic, I press my fingers against the muscles that heave with his breaths.

“I’ve missed you, Rhion,” I say softly. “People have cared about me. I cannot tell you that you are my heart because I’d be lying, but no one has cared about what I thought like you do. No one has wanted me to be happy like you do. No one has been happy that I’m near like you have.”

And with the tentative movements of one who’s unused to the emotions that flow through the air, he leans down. The scent of forged metal that’s tinged with spring flowers fills the air. His scent.

It clings to me, becoming everything even as his lips press against mine.

His lips are soft, but there’s a need behind them that’s anything but.

The scent of the wildflowers becomes stronger, sweeter, and more detailed.

I can pick out the individual scents. The milkweed and yarrow. The daisies and verbenas.

His fingers run through my hair, and he pulls me to him.

Warmth flows from him to me like the sun to hard-packed earth, and I soak it up as if I’ve needed it all my life and never understood.

My hands find his back, and my nails dig into the thin linen.

He gasps, and I can feel him change. His power flows like water under my nails, rippling and making his skin move in unusual ways.

And yet, nothing changes. He doesn’t grow wings or a tail. He doesn’t become a monster like he’d described before. No, the only thing that changes is how hard he presses his lips to mine.

There’s so much need. It’s a lifetime of dreams and hopes that have been dashed too many times to count. What he’d finally accepted as impossible is coming true, and this kiss becomes something so much more.

It’s the end of one thing and the beginning of another.

I know all of this, and yet I can’t think. When his lips move from mine to the crook of my neck, I can’t contain myself. It’s not the Steel in me that takes control, though. Bright white shines from me like I’ve become a star in the night sky.

And Rhion pulls away, his breath coming out hard and fast. He doesn’t close his eyes against the light, and even though I’m sure it threatens to blind him, he keeps staring at me. “You are glorious,” he whispers.

My heart is pounding just as hard as Rhion’s breathing, and this time, I don’t control my emotions. I don’t want the way I feel to go away. I don’t want to hide the Light inside me.

“Are you just going to look at me?” I whisper.

Then there’s a cough from behind me. I whirl around to see someone wearing a quiet gray riding coat and matching gray pants, the colors of the House of Calm. “I’m going to have to ask you to leave, Lady. The other guests cannot enjoy the night sky with your…”

He pauses for a moment, and Rhion laughs.

He leaps, wings sprouting from his back in an instant, and in two flaps of his wings, he’s standing in front of the man wearing only his underclothes, soaking wet.

There is only one person in the world that could shift that quickly—the Prince of Steel.

The man recognizes him for who he is immediately and says, “I apologize. I didn’t know… ”

Rhion smiles at the man like he’s playing a game and doesn’t have a care in the world. “No, we understand. We’ll be on our way, but before we go, what was your name again?”

He blinks. “My name? Why would you need that?”

“You know what, darling?” he says, making his voice loud as if he were talking to me. “I think you’re right. This would be the perfect place to station a few hundred troops for a few months. The House of Calm would love to entertain a garrison of Steel soldiers, wouldn’t they?”

The man’s face turns grayer than his uniform. “I’m certain there are many better places in Selithar for troops to stay. I doubt…”

Then Rhion’s smile disappears, and he says, “I guess I don’t need your name.

I know where you live. Lord Whatever-Your-Name-Is, I will give you a single warning.

If news that I am in Selithar reaches anyone, I will personally come back here with a troop of two hundred men, and we will stay here for as long as I like.

We will stay here, and at some point, I will find you. Do you understand?”

The blood drains from his face. “Yes, Prince. I swear on the Moon and…”

“Keep your oaths, Lord. And also, keep your word because I do not break mine.”

He nods, and Rhion’s smile comes back immediately. He claps the man on the shoulder hard enough that the man bends a bit from the force. “Excellent. Then we will be off. The water is wonderful, by the way. This place is like a dream, but sometimes dreams should be experienced less publicly.”

The man nods emphatically. “Thank you. I am glad you…” Rhion ignores his response and walks back to the pool. Like a lodestone attracts iron, my eyes immediately lock onto what was a bulge before and is now a tent, the size of which I’ve never even imagined.

And then I feel Rhion’s eyes burning into me, and I look up at him.

The man from the House of Calm is gone, and it’s just us alone again.

My Light is gone, but the pounding of my heartbeat is even faster as I stare at a man that I know cares for me more than anyone else in the world. Someone who would do anything for me.

“I’m sorry we were interrupted,” he breathes.

Water drips from him onto the stones under his bare feet. The soft splash of it is the only sound as a few seconds pass. I don’t know what to say. All I’m sure of is that I’m not ready for that kiss to be over. I’m not ready for anything to be over.

“It was an interruption, not an ending,” I finally say, and the tension that had been building in Rhion’s eyes disappears immediately. “But I don’t think I’ll be able to keep from glowing if we continue.”

I put words to my feelings, but deep down, I know the moment is over. Even though my heart is still racing as I look at him, it won’t be the same as soon as we leave. There’s magic here that won’t be present elsewhere.

He grins again, and this time, he seems to know what to do next. “Then let’s go somewhere that you can shine as brightly as you’d like and no one will bother us.”

I frown. My room at the inn won’t work. I have windows, and the last thing I want is to shine a light through the middle of the city. Everyone will know what’s happening, and they’ll know it’s connected to the House of Light, something that I’ve tried to hide.

Rhion doesn’t give me a chance to respond with my doubts. “Let’s fly. You know, we’ve never flown together, Ainslee. With how much you enjoy walks, I bet you enjoy flights even more…”

I shrug, not denying it. It’s been a long time since I flew for pleasure instead of with purpose.

When he offers his hand, I take it. Pride swells inside me, and I feel the possibilities of what I could become ripple through my body.

I manifest enormous eagle wings, meant for soaring high above the ground, and when Rhion pulls me, I flap, giving me enough lift to hop onto the ground to stand next to him.

Without saying a word, he runs his finger over the feathers. It’s a strange sensation for him to touch a part of my body that wasn’t even there moments before. The brown and white wings are very similar to the eagles that soar over Skycrest, but I’ve never really looked closely at them.

Rhion does, though. He steps closer, his eyes only inches from the primary feathers along the trailing edge. He runs his finger down them, and it tickles. My wings instinctively close, pulling against my back just as a bird would once it lands.

He grins at me. “They’re beautiful. So you want to soar, not race. That works for me.”

He stands just a little taller, and pure gray wings explode out of his back.

Every other time that I’ve seen him with wings, they’ve been brown like mine.

These are different, though. Just like he did, I approach them, and Rhion doesn’t bring them to his body.

Instead, he keeps them extended so I can look closer.

“What kind of wings are these?” I ask.

“Goose, though I wanted them to be a different color. White just doesn’t suit me.”

I frown. “Goose wings? But why?”

“They don’t soar,” he says. “You have to keep pumping them, but they’ll let me maneuver in ways that eagle wings never could. I can keep up with you while still being able to maneuver if something winds up in the air with us.”

Continuing to flap those enormous wings would be exhausting. “I’ll be fine, Rhion…”

He stops me and holds up his wrist, where the silver band from his magical oath encircles it.

“No. Once, when we were children, I wasn’t prepared to make sure you were safe.

That will never happen again, Ainslee. This oath may make it formal, but I promised myself that no matter what happened, I would be strong enough to protect you from anything.

I won’t break a promise I made to myself just because it would be easier. Now, let’s get out of here,” he says.

Without a moment’s hesitation, he leaps, those enormous gray goose wings carrying him upward. I can’t help but smile as I follow. The ground below us grows more distant, and with it, I leave the cares of the world behind.