Page 36 of Steeling Light (Shadowed Debts #3)

Rhosyn and I met today and spoke of offering the humans a chance at peace. We will not win this war. We were given powers and tools by dragons, but they are not enough. They have desperation on their side. An animal backed into a corner is always the most dangerous.

~Daegon Rahn, personal journals

Ainslee

My entire body hurts like… well, like I just got done nearly dying to the God of Nightmares. Somehow, we’re still alive. Well, everyone other than my mother. I’d watched her attack him even as I was bleeding out. I’d watched until I couldn’t hold on any longer.

I’d seen Morvael’s shadows break her back, cut her a hundred times, and then everything had gone black.

Rhion and I had woken up beside each other, and the Labyrinth was empty. My mother was gone along with Morvael.

He is gone. Maerlix’s voice in my head is somber as I stand in his chamber with Rhion beside me. He was destroyed as the web foretold.

“Along with my mother,” I say softly. I don’t know what she did, but it wasn’t me or Rhion who killed Morvael. She—the woman I considered worthless in so many ways—saved us.

Yes, she was destroyed. And remade into something more.

I blink, but it’s Rhion who speaks. “What do you mean ‘something more’?”

The power of a god cannot be killed unless that god is forgotten completely.

But how many children wake up terrified of their nightmares?

The God of Nightmares cannot be forgotten in this world, which is why he was imprisoned all those years ago by the Old Ones.

He could not be destroyed. Instead, Adelynne Emlyn convinced the godhood inside Morvael that she was a more perfect vessel.

As soon as his power left him, Morvael was destroyed as the Light burned the last bit of darkness away.

“My mother became the God of Nightmares?!” I shriek, panic rising inside me. Rhion wraps his arm around me protectively, but I don’t feel any relief. “Morvael fed on the pain of his victims. My mother can’t be forced to do that. She’d…”

Your mother is not the God of Nightmares. Morvael held the godhood of dreams. Each vessel changes the power it encompasses. As long as the power can find something to feed on, something to cling to inside of them, it will… adapt. Your mother has become the Goddess of Hope.

The Goddess of Hope. I think about the woman who was always so powerless in my mind. She couldn’t have fought off even a normal soldier. As soon as Morvael’s influence became strong, she’d given in to the dread.

But she saved me as a child. She ruled the House of Light without issue. When Rhion and I both failed to kill Morvael, it was she who did it without ever touching a blade.

“She’s not dead?” I finally say after several seconds of processing.

No, she is not dead. He says it, and in that very creepy way of his, he smiles, venom dripping heavily onto the stone floor. Rhion squeezes me tightly.

“So… Can I talk to her? How do I find her?”

Maerlix becomes very serious. The Goddess of Hope is not ready to be found or spoken to yet.

It has been less than a day since she ascended.

The change is… overwhelming. She is seeing a very different world.

He pauses for a moment. If a spider were to become a High Fae in the middle of Draenyth, how long would it take the spider to adjust?

How long would it take before it could speak?

Before it could walk on two legs? Before it could eat or drink?

These are all things it could do before, but now it would be something different, something foreign.

Now, how long before she could pick out a dress, buy it, put it on, and then dance in it? How long before it could join in the politics of the House of Light? How long before it could wage war or use magic?

Daughter of Brightness, a spider becoming High Fae is simple compared to what your mother has gone through. She needs time. She is in a world of power far beyond your imagination.

I close my eyes, and while there is still sadness coiled in my stomach, it’s hiding.

My mother is alive. She’s different, but she’s still alive, and I’ll still get to see her.

Eventually. My eyes open again, and I say, “I’ll give her as much time as she needs.

She waited for me to come to her before.

I can wait for her to come to me this time. ”

Rhion seems to understand that I’m done talking about this. I can’t let this coiling despair impede what has to happen next.

He says, “Where is Vesta, Maerlix?”

Maerlix makes a strange chittering sound that is strangely similar to laughter for a few moments before speaking.

Vesta and her book are waiting in Draenyth. I spoke to her in dreams and requested that she wait for you there. You’ll find her at a certain tailor’s shop.

I shake my head in frustration. “How long has she been waiting there?”

I spoke to her after your first talk with Vellith. I wouldn’t have wanted to be unable to fulfill my part of the bargain.

“You’re telling me I could have already gone to Draenyth and taken Vesta and the book back to Maeve and Cole. You could have told me through dreams. All of this could have been wrapped up in a few days, and we’d be even closer to defeating Gethin. Instead, I’ve wasted a month in Selithar.”

And the God of Nightmares would have escaped his prison. Your mother would still be the Countess of Light. You would not have had time to re-acquaint yourself with the Prince of Strength. And more than anything, you would not have the spark that you need to Steel the Light when the time comes.

I blink again. “Wait, that whole ordeal with Morvael wasn’t what you were talking about?”

Maerlix turns his whole head nearly sideways, making him look comical.

No, that was not the darkness we have spoken of.

That was… a taste. Morvael was a speck of dust in the whirlwind that you’ll soon see.

No, Lady Ainslee, the darkness will be all-encompassing.

But you have learned the true power of Light now.

You have learned what can be done, and you have found your spark.

Let us hope it will be enough. Your time in Selithar is done for now.

May the web guide you, and may your strands forever shine silver.

Then, without another word, he walks to the web that coats the cavern’s walls, and with the grace that only a spider has, he scurries into the dark recesses beyond the torchlight.

“Let me escort you out of the Nest, Lady Ainslee and Prince Rhion,” Vellith says from behind me.

Why is it that everything to do with silkies and weavers is always so confusing? Rhion and I both take Vellith’s hands, and she pulls us through the webs dripping with silver into the main corridor.

Cadence is standing just outside Maerlix’s chamber, waiting with a grin on her face.

She’s wearing a single shoe, and her shirt looks like it’s covered in metal shavings.

“Ainslee! You did it! I am so, so, so proud of you! You listened and learned and grew. I never doubted you would. Not even when you ran out of the Nest like we were trying to kill you. Or make you eat salad. I even asked Vellith if she’d threatened you with salad. ”

In this place of giant spiders and silkies and weavers talking about confusing and convoluted ideas about the future, there’s this girl so young that I can barely believe she’s allowed to be away from her parents. “I apologize for that, Cadence. I was… I was afraid of what you told me.”

She nods, her eyes going wide. “How were you scared of talking to me? You just fought a god! Maerlix told me all about it. You were so strong and brave! Vellith always tells me I shouldn’t be jealous of other people, but I’m jealous of how brave you are, Ainslee.

It’s a good thing you’re the one who will help all those people instead of me.

I don’t think I could do it. It’d be too much. ”

I don’t know how to respond to her. I’ve never thought of myself as brave, but I was willing to face down an actual god.

I’ve never thought of myself as strong, but I did beat back Morvael.

Rhion saves me from the conversation, though.

He squats down and meets Cadence’s gaze.

“Being brave is doing something that seems impossible. For some people, it’s making a dress that no one else has made before.

For others, it’s going into battle against uneven odds.

And for others, it’s trying to help a wonderful woman understand things that are confusing and scary.

Being brave is doing the things that are hard even though they’re hard because they’re right, and I think trying to convince Ainslee of anything is very high on that chart. She’s a very stubborn woman.”

Cadence stares at Rhion for several moments as if she’s trying to decide if he’s telling the truth.

Then she nods slowly. “It was hard making Ainslee’s web.

She likes to hide from her dreams, so I had to dig deep to unravel the lines.

” She turns to me and smiles. “You are a very interesting dreamer. I think you will have even more interesting dreams soon, though.”

She smiles one more time and takes my hands in hers. “Please come back when you understand your web more. Maybe then we can both be brave and work together.”

I nod to her. “I will. There are too many things I need to learn. I promise not to run out of the Keep of Webs this time.”

She giggles. “I’ll make sure that Vellith doesn’t make you eat salad, so there’ll be no reason to leave.” Then she turns and runs back down the corridor.

Rhion stands back up, and Vellith leads us out of the Keep of Webs. This time, it doesn’t feel like I’m running away from anything. Instead, I’m running toward the future. I can complete my mission now. I’ve learned what I needed to learn from Selithar.

There’s only one more thing that needs to happen before I leave this place. I turn to Rhion as soon as we’re outside of the Keep, and I take his hands in mine.

“Tonight, when the moon is low in the sky, I want to bind my soul to yours.”