Page 26 of Stay (Stay #1)

Sammy beams as Cole comes around the car before arriving at the passenger side .

As he pulls open the door, we stare at one another before he murmurs, “Hey.”

“Hi,” I say in return before shifting on the seat. Uncomfortable has nothing on this.

Maybe I can get him to drop me at the dorms as soon as Sammy takes off.

“Hi, Cole.” Sammy waves from the seat next to me. “Just ignore me over here.”

His gaze flicks from mine to hers before flashing a smile. “Hey, Sammy. Thanks for dropping her off.”

She spears him with a knowing grin. “No problem. See you on Sunday for dinner.”

“Yup.”

Sammy pops open the trunk and Cole unloads my bag before slamming it shut again.

“You’re welcome,” she whispers as I sit frozen in place.

“I haven’t thanked you for anything,” I mutter.

“You will.” With a wink, she unclasps my seatbelt. “Now get the hell out of here. I’ve got places to go and people to see.”

I send one last glower in her direction before slipping from the car and watching in dread as she backs out, pulling away with a roar of her engine.

“Do you want to come inside for a bit?”

I paste a smile on my lips. “Sure.”

Ten minutes tops and then I’m Ubering it home if I have to. Cole leaves my hockey bag on the porch before holding open the front door for me. We walk through the entryway and living room, arriving at the kitchen where he grabs two bottles of water before leading me up the staircase to his room.

Once there, Cole settles on the armchair in the corner as I sit at the edge of his bed. For a moment, we stare at one another before I break eye contact and glance away. This is so painfully awkward, it’s almost unbearable. When I can’t stand another moment, I shoot to my feet, anxious to leave .

“This was a bad idea. Would you mind driving me back to the dorms?”

His brows furrow as he rises to his feet, eating up the distance separating us. “Is that what you really want, Cassidy?” There’s a pause as his gaze searches mine. “Because I don’t want you to leave.”

My chest feels as if it’s being squeezed in a vise.

I give my head a little shake. I’m so completely out of my element with him.

Being here feels wrong.

Or right.

I don’t know anymore.

I don’t know what I’m feeling. There are too many emotions churning within, making it impossible to separate them.

He draws me into his arms slowly as if giving me a chance to pull away.

That’s all it takes to break me down. Instead of fighting the closeness, I give in and allow my head to settle against the broad expanse of his chest. His heart thumps a steady rhythm beneath my ear as he presses a kiss to the crown of my head.

“I don’t want you to go,” he murmurs against my hair.

I squeeze my eyes shut and admit the truth. “I don’t want to go.”

His arms tighten around me. “I’ve missed you.”

I blurt out the one question that has been eating me alive. “Have you been avoiding me?” Even though I know the answer, I want to hear it from him.

For a long moment, he remains quiet. “It seemed like you needed time to sort things out. I was trying to give you space.”

The funny thing is, after the appointment with Dr. Thompson and the visit home, I’d needed time to straighten everything out in my head. Somehow, without me telling him, Cole had sensed it as well.

I’m knocked from those thoughts when he asks, “Do you need more time?” He drops another kiss on my head. “I promised that I wouldn’t push you and I won’t.”

I think about how much I missed him this past week. It’s more than I thought possible .

“No.” I rise onto the tips of my toes until I can reach his mouth. “I don’t need more time. I know what I want and that’s you.” Once the words are out of my mouth, I realize how true they are.

I want to be with Cole.

I’ve been miserable without him.

Lonely in a way I hadn’t realized I was.

The corners of his lips tilt upward. “Good, because I want to be with you, too.”

His mouth opens over mine, and before he’s able to make the first move, I beat him to the punch.

A surprised noise rumbles up from deep in his throat as his arms tighten around me again.

My heartbeat speeds up as I caress him with my lips.

We kiss for a few lazy moments before I pull back to lick and nip at him.

And he lets me do it.

He allows me to be the aggressor.

Which feels oddly empowering.

I’m the one in control.

I’m the one who decides how this will unfold.

Instead of making me feel scared or nervous, it feels good.

It feels right.

“Cassidy,” he growls, “you have no idea how much I want you.” The low scrape of his words arrow straight to my core before exploding on impact.

All of the sudden, I feel very powerful.

“Stay with me tonight.”

Instead of answering, my lips steal over his as our tongues tangle. “Even if we don’t do anything more than this, I just want to hold you in my arms.”

His words have my heart thawing. Melting from the deep freeze that has encapsulated it for almost a year.

Cole isn’t like anyone I’ve met before. He won’t hurt me. Not deliberately. If anything, I’ll end up hurting him. I’m the one who will try escaping from our intimacy when it becomes more than I can handle.

Maybe I don’t deserve Cole Mathews, but I want him. I want to hold onto him for as long as I can. I want him to heal the broken pieces inside me.

With my lips pressed against his, I whisper, “I want to stay. I want…” my voice trails off. Even though I’m terrified, I force them out. “I want you.”

He breaks our kiss before drawing away enough to search my eyes. “Are you sure? We don’t have to have sex. I can wait. We can wait until you’re ready.” He brushes his lips across mine before adding, “You know this is more than just sex, right?”

Yeah, I do.

I think I’ve always known.

But hearing him say it out loud melts the last of the ice within me. His words sweep away all the doubts fluttering around the sharp edges of my mind.

“At some point, you’ll have to tell me what happened.”

My muscles tense as thin tendrils of anxiety thread their way through me, making my chest feel tight and achy.

“Not tonight,” he says quickly as he searches my eyes, “but soon. You can’t keep pushing me away when you get scared.”

Can I do that?

Can I regurgitate everything that happened, and then wait for him to accept or reject me?

It’s a frightening prospect.

But what other choice is there?

I want—no need —to give this a real chance.

I want Cole. And I want this to work between us. The only way that can happen is if I tell him the truth.

Full disclosure.

“Yes,” I whisper thickly as my belly twists itself into a series of complicated knots.

Almost as soon as the answer escapes from me, he captures my lips before wrapping his arms around my body and carrying me to the bed where he lays me down. Once he settles on top of me, his lips feather over mine.

That’s all he does .

Tastes my mouth a thousand different ways until I’m almost drunk with the sensation.

If this is going to happen, it needs to be on my terms. I push against the steely strength of his chest until he draws back and searches my gaze.

“Changed your mind?” Even though there’s a raspy edge to his voice, I know he’ll stop if I want him to.

“No.”

Instead of explaining what I want, I push him back against the mattress until he’s the one lying flat before I climb on top of him and straddle his hips. My heart gallops almost painfully as I stare down at him from this vantage point.

Have I mentioned just how much I love his chest?

It’s so broad and muscular.

Firm and powerful.

Just like him.

I think that’s what I like most about Cole. He’s so big and strong, but there’s a tenderness within him. An unexpected gentleness. A goodness you don’t always find in people.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs, gaze roving over my features.

Heat fills my cheeks as I lower my lashes. “I’m already in your bed, you don’t need to tell me that.”

His lips quirk as he shakes his head. “I saw you the first day in Psychology, sitting way up in front. I couldn’t stop staring as you diligently took notes.

You were listening so intently and seemed so serious.

Almost like everything the professor said was important, and you didn’t want to miss a word of it.

I thought about talking to you but chickened out.

” His laugh is oddly self-deprecating. “And then I chickened out every day after that, until I saw you at that party. I watched you with Alex, and then suddenly you were pulling that girl over and the others joined you. It was the funny to watch. Instead of yelling at Alex, you stood there with a little smirk on your face. That was the moment I knew I had to meet you.” The corners of his mouth lift as he chuckles.

“And I’d already had a beer or two, so I was feeling confident. ”

It boggles my mind that Cole would be afraid to speak with me.

Me.

He has to know how girls look at him. The guy can’t be that oblivious.

Unable to help myself, I bend down and take his mouth with my own before admitting, “I thought you were beautiful.”

“Beautiful?” He gives me a mock frown. “Not ruggedly handsome?”

My lips tremble as I shake my head. “Nope, beautiful. Gorgeous, actually.” Then I add so he doesn’t get too swollen of a head, “I was pretty sure you’d be a douchebag.”

Laughter bursts from him. “A D-bag, huh?” He scratches his chin and narrows his eyes. “I do remember you trying to blow me off. A few times, now that I think about it. Luckily for you, I’m persistent.”

I press a kiss against his lips before straightening to meet his gaze. “You’re the furthest thing from a D-bag.” I suck in a steady breath before releasing it back into the atmosphere and admitting, “I like you, Cole. A lot.”

His lips curve as his eyes soften. “I like you, too.”