Page 23 of Stay (Stay #1)

“Trust me,” I mutter, “I know that all too well. Besides, we’ve already hashed the whole Jackie thing to death. I’m over it.”

Jackie is part of my past.

I’m hoping Cassidy will be my future.

Her gaze locks on mine, searches it carefully. “Are you?”

“Yup, I’m totally over it.” I am totally over that lying, cheating?—

“Hmmm.”

It’s a noncommittal sound that gets under my skin.

“Mom,” I grit in warning, “I don’t want to discuss Jackie.” A topic change is exactly what’s needed. “When’s Thomas getting home again? Hopefully it’ll be soon?”

She shoots me a frown. “Don’t be a brat.”

“I’m not, and you refrain from discussing our feelings when he’s around.” I’m starting to appreciate that more and more.

Another silence falls over us.

Just when I think she’ll drop the topic of my ex, she says, “I ran into her at the grocery store last week.”

I pause mid-sip of my Gatorade, waiting for her to continue. I’m almost afraid of what will come out of her mouth next.

“She said to tell you hello.”

Mom watches me carefully from beneath a thick fringe of lashes.

I force out a snort. “Did you tell her to go take a flying fu?—”

“Cole!” she snaps as her eyes widen. The knife she’s holding clatters against the granite.

I hunch my shoulders. “I’m old enough to swear, Mom. I do it all the time.” That’s a lie but not one she needs to know about.

“When you’re in my house, you’ll refrain from doing so.” She’s remains silent as she transfers the potatoes into the oven. “She’s living at home now.”

That means she’s right around the corner, only a block and a half up the street.

Jackie and I grew up together. We were best friends up until we began dating at the end of our sophomore year in high school. When Dad died, she was my rock. We’d hold hands and sit in the tree house. She’d try to distract me from the fact that he was no longer with us.

A bad feeling settles in the pit of my gut.

“I have no interest in seeing her if that’s where all this is leading.” I slam down the plastic bottle with more force than necessary. A few orange drops of liquid slosh from the top of the container onto the granite. “That’s not where you’re going with this, right?”

A long silence stretches between us.

“You need to stay out of this,” I say with a grunt.

Jackie was like the daughter my mother never had. I can understand why she wants me to sweep everything under the rug and make nice, but that’s not going to happen.

The sooner she accepts that, the better off we’ll all be.

Now that the potatoes have been placed in the oven, she turns toward me before laying her palms flat on the counter so we end up at eye level.

“I think it would be good for both of you to sit down and talk. Closure can only help the situation. I hate what she did, but you were always such good friends.” She watches me silently before adding softly, “She lost the baby.”

Even though her words surprise me, I keep my face perfectly blank. I don’t want any outward emotion to be misconstrued as me caring about the bomb she just dropped.

“I already told you that I’m over it.”

“Obviously you aren’t, or you wouldn’t be reacting like this.”

Instead of snapping the way I want to, I suck in a steady breath before exhaling it.

“I’m totally over Jackie and what she did. I wish her all the best, but I have zero interest in seeing her or being friends with her. What we had is over.”

With a nod, she reaches out and squeezes my shoulder. “If that’s the case, I’m happy for you.” There’s a pause as she switches the topic. “Tell me about this new girl. How long have you been seeing her? ”

As much as I don’t want to discuss Cassidy, it’s better than continuing to rehash Jackie. In order to avoid one conversation, I’m opting to discuss the other. “A couple of weeks.”

“And you like her?” she asks with genuine curiosity.

“I do.”

“Am I detecting a but in your voice?”

I give her a pointed look. “Not a but .”

I pause, carefully searching for the right word but it remains elusive. With a shake of my head, I give up. “Fine, a small but .”

“And what is this small, practically nonexistent but ?”

My eyes narrow at the humor in her tone. “You’re making fun of me.”

She straightens to her full height as a frown flashes across her face. “No, I’m not. I want to know what the issue is, because if there wasn’t one, you would have said so by now.” She raises her brows. “Am I right?”

“What you are, is annoying.” I glance around the kitchen, wishing there was a way to escape from the conversation. “Seriously, where’s Thomas when you need him?”

“Oh, just answer the question.” She chuckles, clearly enjoying herself. The woman is totally in her element when she’s attempting to drag information out of me.

“I don’t know,” I grumble. Before I can stop myself, everything that has been rolling around in the back of my brain is shooting out of my mouth. “She’s a little closed off. I can’t figure out what happened to her, and she refuses to tell me. It’s like she doesn’t trust me.”

Mom is quiet for a long stretch of silent moments as she turns my words over in her head. That’s the thing about her. She really does care and wants to help, which is exactly why she can’t let the Jackie situation go.

She wants resolution.

Even if it’s not her relationship.

Maybe it’s my mom specifically, or it’s females in general, who feel the need to smooth everything over in order to move on with their lives. Guys don’t operate like that. If the relationship is over, it’s done. No need to come to a good place.

A long time ago, we’d been friends. Now we’re not.

End of story.

“Maybe she needs more time to feel comfortable with you in order to open up.”

“Maybe. I’m just not sure it’s ever going to happen.”

Once I’ve released that into the atmosphere, I realize how true it is. No matter how much I like Cassidy, I can’t force her into a relationship. “I’m not sure where this is headed.” I drag a hand over my face. “Sometimes it feels unnecessarily complicated.”

Her expression turns thoughtful. “You seem to really like this girl, but if it already feels difficult and you just started seeing each other, it’s not going to magically get easier. Relationships don’t work that way.”

As much as I don’t want her words to ring true, they do.

And that sucks.

I can’t be the only one fighting for this.