Page 15 of Stay (Stay #1)

“And you would be okay with that?” I ask cautiously. The last thing I want is to put myself in another bad situation.

“Absolutely.”

His expression is so sincere that I can’t help but believe him. Searching his whiskey-colored eyes, I realize how much I want to spend the night with him. I want to experience that closeness with him.

“Okay.”

Before I can rethink my decision, Cole wraps his hand around mine and tows me through the small pockets of people who are still standing around and drinking, even though it’s after two in the morning.

Nerves scamper across my flesh with each step that brings us closer to his bedroom.

Cole leads me up the wooden staircase and then down a long hallway until we stop at a locked door.

He pulls a key out of his pocket before opening the door and ushering me inside.

The muscles in my belly contract as I grind to a halt in the middle of his room and take everything in.

A queen-sized bed with a navy comforter is pushed back against the far wall.

There’s a desk situated near the door with neat stack of books piled on top of it.

The backpack I always see him carrying around campus lies on the floor next to it.

My gaze slides to Cole who is rifling through a large, dark wood dresser that matches the desk. An overstuffed chair has been crammed into the corner.

Not that I’m surprised, but his room is neat and clean. Sure, there’s a pile of clothing stacked on the dresser along with some hockey gear lying around, but that’s about it.

He pulls out a light gray T-shirt and a pair of athletic shorts before handing them to me. More tension gathers inside me. I’ve never spent the night in a guy’s room before.

I shift, pointing toward the hallway. “I’m, ah, going to use the bathroom.”

Butterflies have winged their way to life and are fluttering around madly in the pit of my belly as I take a hasty step toward the door.

“Yeah, sure, but don’t change in there. All right?” His lips lift into a crooked smile. “Wait until you get back here to do that.”

My eyes flare as I carefully set the clothing down on the bed as if it’s a bomb that could detonate at any moment before fleeing to the bathroom down the hall. I shut the door and click the lock into place before leaning heavily against it. My heart slams almost painfully against my ribcage.

Only now do I wonder what I’ve gotten myself into.

Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.

I gnaw my bottom lip until it feels pulpy before squeezing my eyes tightly closed and doing a quick self-check. Inhaling a deep steady breath, I hold it captive in my lungs before slowly forcing it out again.

Nope, I’m not having any breathing issues.

My chest isn’t tight and achy.

I don’t feel nauseous, even though my belly is a jittery mess.

I’m…okay.

I’m not on the verge of freaking out .

Half a dozen deep breaths later, I feel more in control of myself and the situation.

When I return from the bathroom, Cole is sitting in the armchair tucked into the corner.

He leans forward so that his elbows rest on bent knees.

His long, muscular legs are bare and sprinkled with fine hair.

When he hears me walk in, he glances up and meets my gaze.

He’s already changed into a faded T-shirt and athletic shorts that are similar to the ones he gave me.

My shirt and shorts are still sitting neatly folded at the end of the bed.

His steady gaze holds mine as he rises to his feet. “I’ll turn around so you can change.”

I release a nervous breath as he crosses his arms over his chest before turning his back to me. For a heartbeat, I stand there, strangely paralyzed before shaking myself out of the mental stupor and grabbing the soft T-shirt. I hold it up and take a better look at it.

Western Wolves Hockey .

My fingers trail over the navy embossed letters. I peek at him to make sure his back is still turned before bringing the shirt to my nose and inhaling.

Cole.

The fragrance is purely him. It’s a mix of the ocean and something that’s masculine in nature. The thought of wearing his clothes and cocooning myself in his scent has my belly hollowing out.

Even though the broad expanse of his back faces me, I still turn away before stripping out of my shirt and bra.

A fine tremble racks my fingers as I slide the jeans down my hips and legs before whipping on Cole’s faded gray T-shirt and athletic shorts.

The shorts are a few sizes too big and refuse to stay at my waist.

My head is bent as I try to tighten the drawstring. I’m startled when his fingers brush mine aside and pull the string tight, tying it in a knot that rests below my belly button. When his knuckles drift over the bare skin of my stomach, I suck in a deep breath.

His gaze slices to mine as he straightens, backing away until there’s once again distance between us. “Better?”

“Yes.” Those butterflies in my belly feel as if they are trying to escape. I’m not sure how much more of this I can take. A small part of me wants to do more than just sleep in his bed. But the other part—the more cautious part—knows I’m not ready.

I’m probably pushing the boundaries of what I can handle without having a small—or god forbid, huge —freak-out. I don’t want Cole to see me like that. He’s already witnessed enough.

As I stand motionless, I realize that everything has quieted downstairs. My gaze slides from his to the queen-sized bed. My nerves ratchet up a couple hundred notches. I’ve spent the last nine months pushing people away and yet, somehow, Cole has managed to sneak past all my defenses.

The last thing I want to do is put myself in a situation that ends badly. I force my gaze back to Cole who silently watches me.

It’s as if he can read my thoughts, which is disconcerting on an entirely different level.

“I could pile pillows in the middle of the bed like a wall if that would make you feel better.” He pauses. “Or I could sleep in the chair. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

His earnest gaze holds mine before he offers a lopsided smile. “I promise, nothing will happen. We’ve totally slow-tracked this relationship.”

I can’t help but believe him. Against my better judgment, his calm words dissolve the tension bubbling up inside me.

Feeling foolish, I give my head a little shake. “No, it’s fine.” I reemphasize, “ I’m fine with this.” I don’t want him to think I’m some weird chick who constantly loses her shit.

We move at the same time, lifting the covers before settling on our respective sides. When we’re both settled, Cole snaps off the light on his bedside table, plunging the room into darkness. There’s a low hum of activity from the first floor, but for the most part, it has calmed considerably.

After a couple of minutes of holding myself perfectly rigid, I turn toward him.

He does the same until we’re face-to-face.

There’s about twelve inches of space separating us and I’m good with that.

It feels safe. Even though I’m tempted to run my fingers over the sharp angles and planes of his face, I don’t dare.

He remains still, not making a move toward me. Maybe it’s foolish to trust him so soon, but I can’t deny that I do.

I like Cole. I desperately want to believe he’s a good guy.

He makes me feel things I’ve never experienced before. Sometimes that scares me, tempting me to retreat, but it also excites me, which is confusing.

“What are you thinking about?” His hushes voice slides over me in the darkness like warmed honey.

I draw in a breath before gradually forcing it out again. “That I don’t want to make any more mistakes.”

“Do you think this is a mistake?” He doesn’t sound offended, just curious. As if he’s willing to prove that trusting him isn’t one.

Tension settles in my shoulders as I shrug. “I don’t know.” I hope not. “I screwed up last year. I don’t want to continue down that path.” I’m trying to be as truthful as I can without vomiting the whole sordid story.

“This isn’t a mistake.”

His confidence is a turn-on.

What I’ve discovered about Cole is that there is no end to his sexiness.

It’s so much more than his good looks. He’s such a nice guy and so completely self-assured in who he is.

It’s almost enough to make me believe, that whatever this is between us, can’t be misconstrued as anything other than right.

I want, almost desperately, to believe him.

To believe in him.

I want that more than I’ve wanted anything in a long time. I suddenly crave the intimacy he’s making me believe I can have with him.

“You sound so sure,” I whisper.

“That’s because I am.” There’s a pause. “I’m going to touch your face, okay?”

I draw in a quick breath before nodding just once. In the darkness that has settled around us, it’s enough .

Almost as if in slow-motion, his hand rises before carefully stroking over my cheek. That’s all it takes for my eyelids to drift shut.

His touch feels so good.

Right.

The way he caresses my face sends a million shivers galloping across my skin.

“Cassidy.”

My eyelids flutter open before my gaze locks on his.

“If you can’t believe in you, then believe in me.

Because I am sure about this. You just have to trust me not to hurt you.

Tonight I have the only girl I want in my bed and I’m not going to mess that up.

I’m not going to rush you into something you’re not ready for.

You’re the one in control here. It’s all up to you. ”

A soft sigh escapes as his touch awakens so many dormant emotions within me. I’ve never had a guy say something like that to me. There are times when Cole seems almost too good to be true.

Our gazes stay locked as he inches closer. My breathing stays even as I enjoy the sensation of his fingers stealing over my flesh. When I don’t protest, he scoots just a fraction closer until I can feel his minty breath feathering across my lips.

My attention falls to the perfect bow-shaped curve of his mouth. Memories of what it felt like to have his lips sliding over mine flood through me.

Even in the darkness that swirls around us, it’s like he can read my mind.

“I want to kiss you.” There’s a beat of silence as my heart thunders against my breast. “If you tell me not to kiss you, I won’t.”

My gaze bounces from his lips to his eyes.

Somehow, I know he isn’t the kind of guy who will force himself on me.

He’s asking for permission, and he’ll be fine with whatever my decision is.

It gives me a sense of control even though I don’t necessarily feel in control of the feelings careening through my body.

It’s almost a surprise when I hear the scrape of my own voice fill the stillness of the room. “I want you to kiss me.”

One side of his mouth lifts at the corner .

Drawing closer, his lips settle over mine.

He caresses them gently, coaxing mine to open under the light pressure.

His touch isn’t tentative or unsure, but it’s not overbearing either.

The care he takes only makes me want him more.

Something that feels suspiciously like warmed honey slides through me as he continues to play havoc with my mouth.

He doesn’t shove his tongue down my throat or get carried away.

He nibbles at my lips, all the while using light, teasing strokes that feather across mine. A whimper escapes from me as he continues the torment. There is nothing demanding or punishing about the kiss.

If there had been, I’d start panicking. Instead, what he’s doing makes me want to move closer. I’m tempted to run my tongue along the seam of his lips and explore his mouth the way I’ve secretly dreamed of doing since our first meeting.

I have no idea how long we lay there, wrapped up in each other. Our bodies pressed so close that I feel every hard line and taut muscle. Our lips continue to touch, stroking over the another until I’m drunk with the taste of him.

When I don’t think I can stand another moment, his tongue flicks the corner of my mouth and I moan. The sound that escapes is low, achy, and full of need. Cole groans in response. He nips at my bottom lip, sucking the fullness into his mouth. His hands cradle my face, never straying.

It’s his restraint that propels me into rubbing my body against his, craving both the closeness and friction.

He continues to nibble and lick at my lips until I want to scream with the tension that has settled in every muscle.

Even though I’m nervous, my tongue darts out to lick at his lips.

Arousal bursts to life in my core as I dip inside his mouth.

It doesn’t take long before our teeth are scraping against each other.

The way he makes me feel is almost a revelation. I haven’t been interested in guys, or sex, in a long time. Almost a year. Since the desire hasn’t been there, I haven’t bothered with…well, let’s just say, I haven’t felt the need to take matters into my own hands, and leave it at that .

As quickly as those thoughts enter my mind, they scatter to the wind as Cole teases my senses by sucking my tongue into his mouth. Silently, I admit that maybe he’s right. Maybe this isn’t a mistake. How could anything that’s wrong feel this amazing?

I’m not sure how long we explore each other’s mouth. All I know is that the first fingers of light begin to stretch across the horizon when I finally fall asleep in Cole’s arms. I can’t deny the odd contentment that settles over me.

Unwilling to question it, I do the only thing I can and snuggle up against him, allowing myself to relax before drifting off to sleep.