Nirvaan

Sunday, 15 January 2023 Seychelles, Africa

‘I feel complete.’

W hen your first love abandons you, it leaves a void that can never be filled. It leaves you wanting. It’s like that summer vacation trip to your grandmother’s house that you never want to see the end of, or that favourite movie you play again and again. But then nothing lasts forever. Not that summer vacation, and definitely not your grandmother.

Today, however, is a special day. It’s the kind of day when you turn on the radio because you’re bored of listening to your favourite playlist and want something new instead. The kind of day when you spot a heart-shaped cloud in the sky and it makes you choose to look at life with joy and goodness. All of this because you’re deliriously happy within. And why am I deliriously happy? Because I’m meeting Kiana today, virtually.

White noise fills my head as I adjust the straps of the VR headset around my face, ready to embark on a new journey to paradise. I had received a courier from ULIC last week. It was labelled fragile, and I had opened it very carefully in spite of my excitement. Inside was a virtual reality headset and a leaflet full of instructions on how to set it up and enjoy my first virtual experience on the AILENA app. I’ve used a similar Oculus module while playing VR video games, so I set the whole thing up rather quickly, with a custom avatar I created for myself to impress Kiana.

I’m not too religious or superstitious, but there are days when you don’t want anything to go wrong, so you turn religious for a moment. Today’s that day. I silently whisper a prayer under my breath before I step into what I hope will be the adventure of a lifetime, and with a gentle click, I let the world around me dissolve into pixels. A second later, I find myself standing on a stunning seashore, the sand dotted with beautiful seashells. There’s a red board about ten steps away from me that says, ‘Welcome to the Republic of Seychelles!’

The clear blue ocean stretches out before me, and I could stand staring at it all day long, but at that very instant, right beside my avatar, Kiana’s avatar comes to life through an interplay of light and sparkles. The whole scene looks like it’s straight out of a larger-than-life movie where we are the main characters. I turn and look straight into Kiana’s eyes, catching that shimmer in them. It reminds me of how sunlight gets reflected on the surface of the ocean.

‘Hey!’ I greet Kiana with enthusiasm. ‘Are you ready for our Seychelles adventure?’

Kiana nods eagerly and a smile spreads across her lips. ‘Absolutely! I’ve been looking forward to this all week.’

‘So, they finally managed to deliver the headset to you?’ I ask her.

‘Yeah! It took a little longer than I’d imagined!’ she laughs.

‘Your voice sounds so familiar,’ I say. ‘We’re talking to each other for the first time, but it doesn’t really feel like that.’

‘I don’t know if the app has done some magic around voice modulation, but you sound familiar to me too.’ She looks at me, surprised.

‘Maybe! Do you find my avatar impressive?’ I quip.

‘Yes, you look amazing!’ she says as she checks me out from top to bottom. ‘And how do I look?’ she asks and does a little twirl.

‘Like a dream, Kiana! Like a dream come true.’

We’re interrupted by a buzzing sound in our headsets, and a robotic voice addresses us the next moment:

‘Good morning! Welcome to this virtual tour of the Seychelles islands, located in the western Indian Ocean, off the coast of mainland Africa. I am AILENA, and I picked Seychelles as the site of your first virtual experience together because both of you love good food, tropical weather and being out in nature. From hiking to camping, swimming and cycling, this setting offers a perfect chance for the two of you to enjoy these activities together. The island that we are standing on is called La Digue, and there are no motor vehicles on this island. The only way to travel around is to use a cycle! Now, I know that both of you love to drive, so your next VR experience will be a road trip. But let’s focus on today, shall we?

‘I’ll be with you all along the way today, and I’ll guide you through the activities that we’ve planned for you. I’ll also be collecting data from your conversations, facial expressions and body rhythms to analyse your compatibility and determine whether or not you’re made for each other.

‘Now, turn to your left and walk along the beach for about twenty minutes until you reach a beachside cafe named La Cabana. Once you get there, sit at table number 11. You may go to your respective kitchens in your homes and bring your meals to the dining table at this point. Nirvaan, since you’re in India, it’s breakfast time for you, and Kiana, since you’re in the US, it’ll be dinner time for you. You’ll both be eating separately in reality, but when you view the setup through the Utopian Life Gear, your avatars will be eating together at the table in the café. Since this is your first time here, I have to go into the details and explain how everything works, but by the time we’re halfway through the day, you’ll get the hang of the game. Let’s start now, shall we? All the best!’

As instructed, we start to walk along the beach. We’ve chatted so much on the app that we don’t really have much to ask each other. So, we walk in silence, and a couple of times, our hands brush against each other, until Kiana moves closer to me and we’re suddenly walking hand in hand. It feels like the most natural thing in the world to do.

When we finally reach the café, we sit at the table allotted to us and have our meals without exchanging a word.

AILENA speaks up just as we finish our meal: ‘Your next stop is the pristine beach of Anse Source d’Argent. Hop on the virtual bicycles parked beside the café’s boundary wall and go straight downhill from here. You’ll soon see the lush green tropical forest on the right side of the road and the coastline on the left. Unfortunately, you won’t be able to feel the wind on your face via the Utopian Life Gear. But we’re continuously improving and evolving our interface, and one of our goals is to provide our users with a more immersive sensory experience.’

‘This is incredible,’ Kiana murmurs. ‘Asmitha has done a great job!’

‘Do you know Asmitha?’ I ask.

‘Not personally. I mean, I’ve been following her entrepreneurial journey via social media and technology blogs. Don’t you know her? She’s pretty famous,’ she replies.

‘No, not really!’ I don’t want to tell Kiana that I’m an investor in the company. What if she thinks I’m orchestrating things between us for selfish purposes? I can’t afford to lose her at any cost.

‘Being an investor, you must place your bets on her. This app is phenomenal,’ Kiana suggests.

‘I’ll give it a thought,’ I say. We walk over to where our cycles are parked. ‘I never imagined I’d be cycling in the Seychelles with you!’ I try to distract her from the topic of Asmitha.

Kiana nods. She looks at the picturesque landscape around us, completely mesmerized, and says, ‘Look at all this stunning beauty!’

We press a button on our headsets to start cycling and move forward in the virtual world. While we can’t feel the breeze, we can definitely hear the sound of the ocean and of birds chirping in the forest on our right. It feels surreal. It feels like we’ve been transported to a place where time stands still.

When we arrive at Anse Source d’Argent after that beautiful ride through the coastal road, we change into virtual swimsuits that have been laid out for us and dive into the crystal-clear waters, our avatars floating hand in hand. The water looks cool, but there’s no way I can confirm this. I walk up to the refrigerator in my kitchen and take out a bottle of water. I place it beneath my feet when I sit down again.

‘This is amazing,’ Kiana exclaims, her avatar treading the water beside mine. We’ve been splashing around and playing like children. ‘I never want to leave.’

I chuckle as I feel exhilaration and joy wash over me. ‘Me neither. Let’s just stay here forever.’ This is hands down the best video game I’ve ever played!

‘Don’t you want to do this for real?’ Kiana asks.

‘I do. I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I’m to meet you in real life,’ I confess.

‘Why don’t you come down to Fort Lauderdale in Florida then? I went there with my college friends one summer. It was fantastic. Let’s take a vacation there soon!’ she exclaims.

‘Yeah, sure! And then we can plan your next one in India!’

Kiana’s avatar frowns even as she mumbles a yes. I decide against pressing further on the matter, and we continue to swim.

Later, we explore a vanilla farm that lies on the southeastern side of the island. Run by a local family, the whole place exudes an ethereal beauty, with vines swaying gently in the tropical breeze and sunlight dancing upon the emerald leaves, casting intricate shadows on the soil. There are yellow vanilla blooms weighing the vines down, and as we wander through the rows of lush greenery, I imagine how intoxicating the air must be with the sweet scent of vanilla.

‘Because … I am happy,’ Kiana suddenly breaks into a song and starts dancing.

I shake my head, amazed by her avatar’s moves. ‘You’re full of surprises, Kiana. But I like your happy dance.’

As we continue our leisurely stroll through the vanilla farm, I find myself grateful for the technology that has allowed me to experience this world with Kiana, even though we’re miles apart.

‘This is perfect,’ Kiana sighs, her eyes sparkling with contentment.

A wave of affection for her rushes through me. ‘It’s even better with you here,’ I say.

As the hours pass, we explore the island’s indigenous flora and fauna, our curiosity piqued by sightings of the giant tortoises that the island’s famous for. We wander through nature reserves and hike up to the highest point on the island. From that vantage point, in every direction we look, there’s only lush green vegetation and turquoise-blue water.

‘Look, the rare coco de mer fruit!’ Kiana exclaims, pointing to a huge coconut-like fruit hanging from a tall palm.

I marvel at the sight, grateful, all over again, for the chance to share these moments with Kiana. Each discovery fills us with wonder, reminding us of the magic of nature’s embrace.

We sit there for quite a while, watching the waves crash against the shore, and when the sun sets over the horizon, we turn and hug each other.

‘I feel complete,’ Kiana whispers, her voice filled with awe.

‘I’ve not felt like this in a very long time. And yes, I’m aware of the fact that this is a virtual meeting and not a real-life one,’ I confess.

In another minute or so, AILENA will urge us to log out. Both of us realize simultaneously that we’ve come to the end of our adventure.

‘Thank you for today,’ she says, her eyes flickering with emotion, like the flame of a burning candle.

A warmth spreads through my chest. ‘I can do this again, as long as it’s with you.’

‘I think I really like spending time with you,’ she says softly.

‘As do I.’

As I remove my VR headset and return to the real world, I feel sadness wash over me. Although our adventure was virtual, the memories we created are very real, and I know that our connection will only grow stronger with every new adventure that we embark on together. And yet, I find myself a little worried. Everything felt perfect in the virtual world, but will it feel the same way in the real world too? Is there even a remote possibility of us sharing a future together when our present circumstances are so different? Would I be able to go live in the US with Kiana? Will she ever come back to India? Will we be able to sustain a long-distance relationship? Will choosing to be with her mean choosing love over ambition? And then there’s that niggling feeling at the back of my mind about Kiranjeet. Why is it that being with Kiana constantly reminds me of Kiranjeet? The way she talks, the kind of things she says …. even their names sound the same; it’s like Kiana is the Americanized version of Kiranjeet. And then when Kiana said that her weirdest fantasy is to make out inside a bus, it felt like my heart had dropped all the way down to my stomach. If this is all a strange coincidence, then fate’s playing a really sick, cruel joke on me. And if it’s not, then I don’t know what to think. Should I just go with the flow instead and not overthink things? Should I make the decision now so that it doesn’t hurt me later on?

Should Kiana and I be together or not?