Page 36 of Soul So Dark

Suddenly, I’m downstairs in our basement, sitting on the scratched leather sectional with the four of them, playingDoomandHalo.Colson’s little sister.But I was good, I could beat them at any game we played, until they figured out that they could cheat by scaring me and breaking my concentration. But still, I was allowed to be part of their group, if only for just a couple of hours. That is, until they got to high school and became soccer stars.

They became an untouchable force that everyone fawned over and I never saw them again. And if they were downstairs on that sectional, it sure as hell wasn’t with me. But it was OK, because by then, I had Evie…

My jaw tightens and the pain starts to boil over.Ignoring him?Alex probably doesn’t even remember that I was there. He probably doesn’t remember that he used to always bring Haribo Bears with him and share them with me while we played. He probably doesn’t remember that I was just as good as them.

Probably because he doesn’t fucking care.

“Is Aiden on here, too? What about Colson and Mason?” I don’t doubt for a second that these other anonymous losers are my brother and his friends. In which case it’s a good thing I erred on the side of caution and kept my identity secret. “Did you tell them my handle?” Now I’ll have to change it because none of them know it, and I really like it, so that makes me even angrier. “Is that why you asked me to play?”

“No, Dal,” Alex sighs, “I just wanted to—”

I don’t stick around to hear what he just wanted to do. I mash my thumb down on my phone screen, ending the call, and toss it off the edge of the bed to the floor with a tiny thud. Then I knee-stomp off my bed, storm over to the shelf, and jam my finger down on the power button of the console.

I don’t need this. Just like I don’t need my brother having psychotic sleepwalking episodes by night and paranoid outbursts by day. I don’t need Alex Barrera literally appearing out of nowhere and trying to fuck with me for fun so he can also try to forget that we all live in some weird alternate universe.

And maybe Alexdoescare like he did that one day in the cafeteria. Maybe he’s stepped out of his superstar heartthrob bullshit long enough to remember who I am. Maybe it dawned on him for two seconds that I remember what he was like when he was just a shitty little middle schooler who thought he was cool because he could do a flip off the rope swing at the creek. Maybe he’s suddenly come out of his arrogant fog to acknowledge that my world is a pile of rubble.

Or maybe he’s just looking for a distraction like I am. Except his idea of distraction is making me look like an idiot—Colson’s little sister.Except now my mom isn’t here to scold them to leave me alone. She’s somewhere else, with Scott, dealing with the fallout left behind by some monster who murdered Evie and disappeared into the night.

Maybe AlexfuckingBarrera hasn’t changed at all.

???

I should’ve taken Colson up on his offer today.Especiallytoday. But things are still weird from Saturday night when he came into my room and showed me a picture of some guy he hates while I was under duress.

Then again, when are thingsnotweird these days?

I could’ve overlooked his psycho bullshit for one day to find some peace for seven hours. I know Colson would’ve said yes if I asked him; driving the backroads for hours, burgers for lunch in Hellbranch where we wouldn’t get caught ditching school, hiking in the woods. OK, maybe not hiking in the woods, but I’d even go to the creek like he suggested if it was just with him.

But the opportunity is gone. I’ve already spent the lunch period in the library pretending to do homework. I don’t even have homework. School’s almost out, which is the only thing I look forward to now. Hell, as a freshman without a date, I can’t even go to prom.

I let out a snicker, remembering the drama that unfolded after the awards ceremony when a herd of cattle came thundering through the gym. Fortunately, I was halfway up the bleachers, otherwise I’m sure I would’ve been crushed by everyone trying to leap out of the way. It was also really gross. A mob of muddy, drooly cattle aren’t exactly the cleanest animals. They step in their own shit and don’t bat an eye.

Gazing around the library, I catch sight of Sydney and her friend at the circulation desk. I recognize her as one of the girls at Colson’s car after school—the one with the wild teal eyes. When I walked through the heavy double doors, Sydney didn’t ask questions, just said hi and let me go find a seat at a table hidden near the back of the stacks.

I startle when the bell rings, signaling the end of lunch, and then realize that I am, in fact, starving. I make a mental note to bring snacks for the rest of the year in case I need to hide out in the library again. But now I’m dreading last period, where I’ll have to sit through an awkward hour and a half next to Shelby, pretending I haven’t already finished my part of the final project while she fumbles around trying to finish hers.

Finishing out U.S. History is uneventful, but the dread sets in the closer the red numbers on the digital wall clock get to the bell. Safely on autopilot, a neutral expression plastered on my face, and my feelings securely tamped down where no one can see them, I head down the stairs to the first floor, hoping that another herd of cattle bursts through the doors and come barreling down the hallway.

Instead, I run straight into someone coming from the other direction. I let out a gasp and begin to apologize when, suddenly, he throws his arm around my shoulder and backs me through the crowd.

“Hey!” I yelp, jerking my head around.

But relief washes over me when I see that it’s Austin.

“Where the hell have you been?” he asks. “I thought you were going to be on last night.”

“Yeah, me too,” I reply, adjusting my shoulder strap, “but I got sidetracked.”

“What’s up?” he asks, immediately noticing my less than enthusiastic tone.

I let out a huff and look up at him. “I can’t stand the thought of setting foot in that room. This thing with Shelby is still weird.” I don’t know what else to say. Maybe that’s it.

Austin leans against the lockers and glances around in thought. “So, let’s not,” he shrugs.

“And do what?”

“We can go to Ryland’s. I’ll buy you a Diet Coke.”