Page 21 of Soul So Dark

“Definitely. Oh,hey,” I stop short and whip around to face Shelby, suddenly remembering one thing that still elicits excitement somewhere deep down, “are we still going to seeZero Reckoning?”

We’ve been planning to seeZero Reckoningever since it was announced—me, Shelby, Maddie, Carter, Austin, and Austin’s cousin I’ve never met, who’s a senior at St. Iggy. Maddie, Austin, and I beat the video game and Shelby and Carter want to see it because the actor who plays the main character is, and I quote, “the hottest ever.” It’s also playing at the indie theatre, which means it will be filled with hundreds of other freaks like us who are obsessed and get dressed up and nerd out the entire night. Part of me can’t believe I didn’t remember until now, during a time that I’ve been activelytryingto distract myself with normal things.

Shelby stares back at me blankly, and after a few seconds of silence, I start to wonder if she totally forgot as well.

“Oh,” she finally says, but then hesitates for a moment, “we already saw it…on Sunday.”

“What?” I blink, not comprehending. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

She shifts in her seat uncomfortably. “We just thought that, with everything going on, you were too busy or wouldn’t be up for it,” and then adds quickly, “we didn’t want to bother you.”

My heart sinks, but the feeling is quickly replaced with anger that builds by the second. Is she for real right now? She’s my best friend; what the hell else do we do but talk all the time and check on each other and try to make each other feel better whenone of our family members is murdered?

“Busy?” I scoff. Then my tone turns acidic. “As in busy sitting in my room crying by myself while my friends go without me to the movie I’ve been waiting to see for months?”

Just then, the bell rings and everyone starts shutting down computers and the room fills with the buzz of people grabbing backpacks, standing up, and scooting chairs.

“We can go see it again!” There’s a flash of hope in Shelby’s eyes that quickly dissipates when I glare at her half-assed attempt at damage control.

“Hello—” I exclaim, “we bought the same silver and purple makeup pallet and black Revlon lipstick! What am I supposed to do, dress like a cyborg for the last three weeks of school?”

I can’t believe this utter bullshit. My sister is dead, my brother’s having homicidal “night terrors”, my parents are overcome with grief, and now my friends have revealed themselves to be either premium assholes or awkward turtles. I can’t decide which is worse. But it doesn’t matter, because I have to get out of here before I start crying—again. And this time I can’t cry into Shelby’s t-shirt because she might get up and leave becauseshowing up for her best friend might accidentally bother me!

I grab my bag from the floor and stand up. “And your link’s broken because you spelledschedulewrong!” I snap before shoving the chair back under the table with a crash and storming out of the room.

As I trudge down the stairs, it dawns on me that my friends don’t know what to do. They don’t know what to do with me because I’m not me anymore. They don’t know what to do when I’m not laughing and smiling at them. Because my resting face used to be a smile, and now it’s gone.

Idon’t know how to be me anymore.

I hope Colson’s at his car. I hope he’s already sitting there behind the wheel, ready to peel out as soon as I climb in. I hope he plays some death metal on the way home. But as soon as I step out into the sunlight, I feel a hand on my arm.

“Hey, Dallas,” I recognize Austin’s voice behind me, “wait up.”

“Did you go, too?” I ask him, but not really wanting to know the answer.

“No,” he replies, matching my pace, “I got called into work last minute.”

Good, I’m not the only one they snubbed that night. I guess I at least still have Austin. I don’t have to be mad atallmy friends at the same time. But I’m still furious. How could they just leave me out? How could they go andnot even ask?

“Listen, that was really shitty of them to go without you.” He keeps walking with me even though I don’t look at him. “It sucked that I couldn’t go, either, so let’s go see it this weekend.”

I slow down, but still don’t look at him. “Yeah,” I finally say, “maybe.”

He’s trying to apologize for all of them, which isn’t surprising, but he’s not good at it. Austin’s always been the one who tries to smooth over contentious situations out of necessity, because he’d rather be having a good time. There’s a reason we became fast friends in middle school when we got put on the same volleyball team in gym class.Austin…Dallas…he never let it go.

“What about your cousin?” I come to a sudden halt, turning to him. “Wasn’t he supposed to go, too?”

“Yeah,” Austin replies with a slight smile, “he did. I think that’s why Shelby decided to go anyway.”

“Wow.” I can’t decide whether to be relieved that she had ulterior motives and wasn’t just being a bitch, or still angry because she left me out anyway just so she could hook up with some guy.

“Forget it, Dallas,” he says, more firm this time, “we’ll go see it. Whenever you want.”

I nod, appreciative of his concern, but also ready to stop thinking about this for the time being. Accepting my response, he raises his arms and I take a step into his hug that smells like mint gum and whatever that shampoo is that all guys use.

“Text me when you’re online tomorrow,” he calls with a smile as he backtracks and eventually turns to head back to the building.

Unfortunately, when I make my way to the far corner of the lot, I don’t see anyone at Colson’s Civic yet. I make myself comfortable on the edge of his hood until the four of them appear in the distance. Colson, Mason, Alex, and Aiden swagger toward me, flanked by three girls. They come to a halt at his bumper, forming a semi-circle as Colson sits down next to me. Bryce, the girl with dark curly brown hair, leans back against his chest, showing him something on her phone. A girl with short dark hair smokes a cigarette while she talks to Mason, another girl with dark blonde hair standing close at her side.