Page 124 of Soul So Dark

My pulse is thumping so hard in my ears that I can barely hear her words anymore. My cheeks radiate with heat and my chin begins to tremble.

“That’s enough, Jordy,” Tyler mutters with exasperation.

But Jordy ignores Tyler, unfazed.

“Are you going to cry?” she sneers down at me. “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TO CRY ABOUT?” she screams in my face.

Jordy’s hand flies up and I squeeze my eyes shut, but when I hear the smack, it’s not from her palm on the side of my face. When I open my eyes, Tyler’s gripping Jordy’s wrist and Jordy is glaring at her with a mixture of shock and rage.

“What are you doing?” Jordy snaps at Tyler. “I told you she’s fucking Alex!”

In an instant, Tyler seizes Jordy’s ponytail with her other hand and jerks her head back, slowly bringing her to her knees.

“And I said…that’s enough,” Tyler growls in a deep voice that doesn’t sound like it belongs to her.

While Jordy is still overcome with shock, grimacing in pain, Tyler reaches down and snatches the knife out of her hand. Then she flips it shut and holds it out to me.

“Take it.”

I hesitate, but when Tyler flashes me a warning look, I immediately take the knife from her and stash it in my bag. Then she leans over, turning her attention back to Jordy.

“You keephername out of your mouth, you keephisname out of your mouth, and if you breathe a word of this to anyone else, I’ll cut your fucking tongue out next.”

I can only stare at them, my mouth ajar, wondering if I’m about to witness an actual murder.

“Dallas,” Tyler barks, her voice echoing off the cinder block walls like thunder, “go home.”

This time, I don’t hesitate and slink past Tyler toward the door before she decides to turn her ire on me, too.

“Leave through the cafeteria,” she adds. “You were never here.”

I do what she says and dart out of the restroom, making a right into the cafeteria to avoid the doors at the back of the vestibule.

The moment I grab the handle, I hear a crash, and then a muted scream followed by a series of bangs. I don’t hesitate, and as soon as I open the door, I take off in a dead sprint through the cafeteria, not looking back.

Except, this time, there’s no one around to witness my record time.

???

I used to wish that Evie went to Dire Ridge so I could see her every day. But, now, I’m glad she didn’t for the simple fact that I know that her name won’t be called right after Principal Copenhaver hands Colson his diploma at graduation.

Instead, I sit next to my mom and Scott in the school auditorium, listen to Bryce Decker give her Valedictorian speech, and then watch Alex, Colson, Aiden, and Mason all walk across the stage with the rest of the seniors in their royal blue caps and gowns. I follow them outside like I’m walking through a dream and meet them under the giant burr oak on the front lawn where I watch them take pictures together like they have at every single event since we were kids. They stand with the rest of the seniors from the soccer team and pose for more pictures, and afterward, they huddle together and shout the same cheer I’ve heard for the last four years…

Beasts of waste!

Beasts of desolation!

We die alone…

But together…

Rulers of creation!

And each time Alex glances my way, my skin stings in the shape of a 2 and a 3, where the fresh cuts he gave me are still healing. There’s a lot I want to say, but there’s no more time or space to say it. All I have left is a box on my dresser with a folded piece of paper sitting on top of it, untouched since he placed it there almost five days ago. For some reason, it felt like if I opened it, it would mean that he’s really gone.

But this morning, while Alex is probably on his way to boot camp, I decide to finally carry the box to my bed. I take a seat, cross-legged, and start with the paper. When I unfold it, I realize it’s a letter.

Dear Dal,