Page 202 of Soul So Dark

I nod, set down my chopsticks, and then raise both my hands to show her my scars. They’ve faded a lot since then, and besides, how often do you really look at someone else’s hands? My palms where I grabbed the fence are the worst, covered with dark scar tissue that serves as a reminder if I squeeze something too tightly.

“Do you have any side effects?”

“Yeah, actually. But I didn’t even realize it until I moved into this apartment. Want to see?”

Dallas nods with intrigue as I rise from my chair.

“Give me your hand.”

She reaches up and clasps my hand, watching intently as I furrow my brow and study the black metal light fixture suspended above the table. I give my free hand a quick shake and then, slowly, reach up to the lightbulb closest to me.

“RRRGGGHHH!” I let out a guttural howl, squeezing Dallas’s hand while my entire body goes rigid and I start shaking uncontrollably.

Dallas lets out an ear-splitting scream and leaps from her chair. She tries to pull her hand away, but she’s caught in my iron grip. A few seconds later, my screams descend into hysterical laughter and I relax my muscles, letting go of the lightbulb.

Dallas stares up at me, her eyes bugged out as she catches her breath. Soon, the look of terror is replaced with a loathsome scowl.

“AlexfuckingBarrera!”she screeches, smacking me across the bicep.

“See, Dal?” I creak out. “I still laugh!”

She casts me an irritated look and plops back down in her seat.

“Seriously, though,” I chuckle, “I have muscle spasms that really harsh my vibe, but I’ve otherwise recovered well.” I take my seat again to give her a real answer. “The mental toll has been the worst—flashbacks, things like that. And a lot of resentment.” As soon as I say it, the heaviness of it all begins to descend, “Do you know what happened to my brother, Luca?”

“No,” she replies with a shake of her head.

“He used to be one of my favorite people, but then something happened after our dad died. I thought he just couldn’t cope, but then he finally lost it. After a while, none of us recognized him. I told Adrian he was going to end up in prison or dead, and I was right about both.”

“What do you mean?”

“Luca did go to prison, but while he was there, they discovered he had a massive brain tumor that basically made him criminally insane. He got it removed, but if no one had bothered to check, he probably would’ve died. Adrian was there for everything and took care of him after he was released—from prisonandthe hospital. Adrian didn’t give up on him, but I did. And now I don’t know what to do because he seems like the old Luca, but I’ve still never forgiven him for what he did while that tumor was eating his brain. Forgiving him still seems like defeat.”

“But you still came back. That means something, doesn’t it? There’s still a chance you could forgive him after all this time.” Then her eyes wander across the floor in contemplation. “I don’t know if Colson can come back. I don’t think he’s dealt with the mental toll of what happened to him—tous.He disappeared after college, and now we barely hear from him. But when I went to Gunnison to see my dad, I found out what happened to him. He finally told me.”

“And what happened to him?”

It would be the first meaningful shred of information I’ve gotten about Colson since he went AWOL.

“It’s a girl.” Dallas’s voice gets more adamant. “He’s devastated over this girl and that’s why he ran off into the wilderness.”

“A girl,” I echo, unsure of what could possibly make Colson Lutz lose his shit over a woman.

“Do you remember why I called you that one night? Do you remember what Colson did that night I told you he had a nightmare about Evie?”

I shoot her a look, as if I would ever forget that.

“Colson was stalking her. He told me about following her everywhere, even to her hometown hundreds of miles away. I saw the pictures of her and thevideohe took when he snuck into her house!”

I give pause at that one.

“But then hetoldher about it, and shelikedit. She liked that he was being a creepy fucking stalker! But then, one night, he had another nightmare and did the same thing to her that he did to me. Except, this time, it was worse, much worse. And then she left, never spoke to him again, and now he’s up there with the polar bears turning into a bitter shell of a human. But I found her, Alex. She still lives here, and I’m going to use her to bring him home.”

I narrow my eyes. “Use her how?”

Suddenly, there’s a sharp knock at the door. Immediately put on high alert, I maintain my calm demeanor and stroll across the dining room into the foyer. When I check the peep-hole, I can’t help but smile.

“What’s up, bruh?” I ask as I open the door.