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Chapter twenty-four

Gage

“Gage?” Hazel’s voice is groggy and her eyes are swollen from crying. It kills me just looking at her because I know I’m the reason for her pain.

But she’s never looked more beautiful to me.

“Shhh…I’m here, baby.”

She reaches up to touch my face, dragging her nails through my scruff. “You are?” Blinking, she takes a deep breath. “When did you get here?”

I look at my phone and notice the time. “About four hours ago.”

“What time is it?”

“Seven in the morning.”

“Does that mean…”

“That I drove all night to get here? Yeah, I did, Spitfire.”

She rises, sliding from my arms and putting distance between us. She wraps her arms around her legs and pulling them into her chest. “What are you doing here?”

I r each out to her, wanting her back in my arms. “Come back to me, please.”

She shakes her head, her bottom lip trembling. “Why are you here, Gage?”

I crawl across the floor to her instead, pulling her into my chest. I don’t blame her for the hesitation, for having her guard up around me right now. I deserve every bit of her disdain and animosity. But if I’m going to have this conversation with her, she’s going to be in my arms.

Cupping her face, I lift her chin so she can look straight into my eyes. “I’m here because you’re my wife, and I love you, and I’m ready to make decisions together.” Her eyes instantly well with tears. “Fuck, Hazel. Don’t cry anymore, baby.”

But when she launches herself at me, I break apart too, letting every fear of mine go as I hold on to the one person I can’t live without.When we both regain our composure, she leans back and holds my face in her hands, straddling my hips. “I love you too.”

“I know you do. Why, I don’t think I’ll ever fucking understand, but I want this.” I press my lips to hers. “I want you.”

Her grip on me tightens. “Then you can’t push me away when you’re scared, Gage.” Her voice is thick with emotion, but unwavering. “I can be strong for you. I can help you carry the weight, but I can’t take you shutting me out. I won’t.”

“I know, baby. I’m so sorry, I just…”

“Talk to me.” She wipes the tears from my face. “Tell me everything. Start from the beginning.”

“Before my diagnosis, I felt like I was taking my life for granted, Hazel. When most people get life changing news like mine, they carpe diem. But me, I just got angry.” Shaking my head, I run my hands up and down her back.

“I withdrew. I decided that I didn’t get to have a life like other people, like normal people.

And I resented my dad so muc h for not fucking telling me that I could have this condition as well.

He kept it from me, which made that anger even worse. ”

“Why did he keep it from you?”

“Because we didn’t talk about shit like that.

Honestly, I never had a great relationship with my dad.

I think he thought that by working tirelessly and providing for me, he was doing his part as a good father.

But I was alone most of my childhood, especially after my mom took off.

She loved drugs more than me, but looking back, I’m glad she left and didn’t drag me into that part of her life with her. ”

“I’m so sorry, Gage.”

“When I told you that you have no idea how lucky you are to have your family, Hazel, I meant it. I was jealous of that, but I accepted a long time ago that I didn’t get that type of family, so being alone was just how it was supposed to be.

And then once I found out about my heart, I felt like that was the nail in the coffin that sealed my fate of solitude. ”

“Until your aunt left us millions of dollars.”

I laugh. “Yeah. And you know…it’s not like she didn’t try to set us up before, but…”

“We had both sworn off love.”

“Exactly.”

She sighs, a pinch in her brow. “I wish you would have told me about your heart sooner.”

“I wanted to, but it was easier to ignore it, pretend like it wasn’t an issue.” I rub my thumb along her bottom lip. “You definitely gave me something else to focus on.”

“Except when the dizzy spells started happening.”

I close my eyes. “Yeah. And it was my fault for not telling Dr. Miranda about them. If I had, she probably could have adjusted my meds before the episode at Parker’s wedding.”

She shoves at my chest, forcing me to look at her again. “You realize I thought that Miranda was some woman you were talking to back home?”

Chuckling, I say, “Well, you weren’t wrong. And I planned on telling you everything when we talked this week. I just didn’t get the chance. And then when I woke up and saw the look on your face as I was lying in that hospital bed…it was every fear slamming into me at once.”

She licks her lips, pushing her hand through my hair and trailing it down my jaw. “What fears?”

“Even though I wasn’t close with my dad, his death affected me.

It’s like I realized everything I missed out on, everything I could have changed if he hadn’t died.

And that’s when I decided that I never wanted to leave someone else with that feeling, so I was better off just being alone for the rest of my life as well.

You looked at me with the fear that I was dying, and the last thing I wanted was anyone to ever feel that way. ..especially you.”

“So you asked me to leave.”

“Yes.” I swallow past the lump in my throat. “What if I don’t wake up next time, Hazel? What if I leave you and a couple of kids?” I shake my head. “This condition is hereditary and I still don’t have it under control, and I don’t want you burdened by being with me.”

“Taking care of you and loving you would never be a burden.”

“You say that now…”

She presses a finger to my lips. “No. You listen to me, Gage. Being with you is my choice,” she says, pointing a finger on her other hand to her chest. “I would rather take that risk than never have another second with you in my life again. Do you understand me?”

I feel tears build again in my eyes. “Are you sure?”

“ I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” Relief laced with gratitude rushes through me. “Besides, when you love someone, you never really leave them alone, even after you’re gone. Look at my dad, look at Diane. They are still showing us they are with us.”

I pull her into my chest, closing my eyes as I breathe her in, as the reality that she wants me resonates in my chest. “I’m sorry I asked you to leave. I promise to never do that to you again.”

“I won’t ever leave, so it’s pretty pointless.” Her tenacity makes me laugh as tension begins to leave my body. “So what happens now, Gage? What kind of decisions do you want me to make with you?”

“Everything,” I say, smiling up at her. “I want you to fight for me and with me, just like you said.”

She brings my lips to hers. “Then that’s what you’ll get.”

Thank fuck.