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Chapter thirteen

Hazel

“There you two are!” My mother swings the front door open before Gage and I can even knock.

“Here we are,” I say sarcastically, bracing myself for dinner with my family while this time pretending that everything is fine between Gage and me.

And technically, I guess it is. We don’t really speak unless necessary, we’re both very busy with work, and when we do talk, it’s very surface level, especially after our game of Truth or Drink the other night.

This back and forth with him just gets more intense, especially when the letters come, and I’m not sure how much longer I can put up with his bullshit.

He sure as hell isn’t trying to make things more comfortable for me, so why should I bother?

“Nice to see you, Catherine,” Gage says, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“I feel like it’s been ages. We all live in the same town, and I barely see my children anymore.”

Par ker comes out of the kitchen, eating a cracker. “Hey, it’s the newlyweds!”

“Watch it,” I say, sidestepping him and heading toward the kitchen where I know there is wine.

“Oh, do I sense some trouble in paradise?” he taunts.

Cashlynn appears at his side and pokes him in the ribs. “Leave them alone, Parker.” She pulls me into a quick hug. “You looked like you could use one of those.”

I chuckle. “Thanks, but I’m fine.”

She arches a brow. “You sure?”

I glance over at my husband, who’s now engrossed in a conversation with Parker. “We can talk later.”

Cashlynn nods. “Yes, please. I’m sorry I haven’t been a good friend lately, but the gallery has been insane, and planning a wedding is taking it out of me.”

I hold my hand up to stop her. “No need to apologize. Work has been crazy for me too, but tonight we can catch up.”

She looks over at Gage and Parker. “How are things going?”

“I honestly don’t even know how to answer that.”

Astrid and Willow walk into the kitchen from the back deck.

“Hey, Hazel! We were just talking about you,” Astrid says.

They come closer and Astrid lowers her voice. “Did you know they opened a sex store in Castle?”

“What? No.”

“Yep, finally! Willow, Cashlynn, and I are planning on checking it out soon.”

The other two nod eagerly.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll have fun.”

“You don’t want to go with us?” Cashlynn asks.

My eyes find Gage across the room. “Nah, I’m good.”

The girls exchange worried looks.

“Oh, does that mean—” Willow starts, but I cut her off before she can finish that thought.

“Nope. Don’t even go there.”

Willow tilts her head toward the deck. “Let’s go outside so we can talk more openly.”

I fill a wine glass and follow them out back.

“Okay, now spill,” Willow says once we’re all settled on the back deck. “What’s going on with you two?”

Sighing, I look out at my parents’ backyard, taking note of how big the trees have grown since my father planted them when I was a kid, how beautiful the roses look, and how gorgeous the sun looks as it begins to descend in the distance. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing is going on.”

Astrid snorts. “Okay. That’s a lie.”

“No, you know what? There is something going on,” I say.

“My husband has two personalities, and I never know which one I’m going to get.

One moment he’s apologizing to me with socks and I’m buying him a freaking recliner, and then the next we’re playing Truth or Drink, and he’s telling me to stop being so thoughtful—but also that he’s had dreams about me. ”

The girls just stare at me, blinking.

Willow recovers first. “Okay…that is a lot to unpack.”

“Tell me about it! And don’t even get me started on the strange phone calls he gets from mysterious Miranda .” Tipping my glass back, I take a big sip of wine.

Astrid holds a finger up. “Who the hell is Miranda?”

“That’s what I’d like to know!” I shout, my pulse racing.

Cashlynn places her hand on my shoulder. “Just breathe, Hazel.”

I s et my wine glass on the railing and bury my face in my hands. “I’m just so frustrated and confused.”

Astrid rubs my back. “Forgive me if I’m wrong, but could that be because you’re developing feelings for him?”

I lift my head. “But we agreed…no feelings.”

Willow chuckles. “Yeah, well, I think the three of us can safely say that the biggest issues we’ve had in our relationships were usually the result of not being honest about our feelings .”

I glance back to the house. “He’s getting under my skin. The more we talk— when we talk, that is—the more I want to know him. And he has these moments when I see something in his eyes, like he’s holding himself back, but then he immediately shuts down…so I do the same.”

Astrid claps her hands together. “Oh my God! What if Diane was right? What if you two are meant to be together?”

I give her a look. “Right. Because nothing says destiny like a man who refuses to open up and a woman who should know better than to get her hopes up.”

“Maybe you need to push him a little,” Cashlynn suggests. “I mean, as I recall, last year you were the one telling me to push your brother into admitting his feelings. Now it’s your turn to give Gage the same treatment.”

Willow bounces with excitement. “Yes, I support this idea one thousand percent!”

Astrid claps again. “Me too!”

I shake my head. “No. I am not pushing him to admit his feelings. He either wants me or he doesn’t.”

“Goose, Michael’s calling for you.” Dallas appears in the doorway, holding my nephew. As soon as Michael sees Willow, he lights up and reaches for her, stretching his little arms as far as they will go.

“ Hey, baby boy!” She beams as she takes him in her arms. “Of course you were calling for momma—because you’re momma’s boy, aren’t you?” She peppers his cheeks with kisses and he squeals excitedly.

“Momma!” My nephew smashes Willow’s face in his hands and presses a kiss to her lips.

My heart aches at the sight of them—because the further I get into this marriage, the more I realize I may never have that life.

Even if things worked out with Gage, he said kids aren’t in the cards for him anymore, so would I even have the option of being a mom?

And what does that mean, not in the cards? Did he have a vasectomy? Can he not physically have kids at all?

Oh God. What if Miranda is his secret wife and they have like 15 kids together? Maybe that’s why kids aren’t an option anymore! He’s closed up shop!

“Time to eat, by the way,” Dallas says, snapping me out of my spiral.

Astrid and Cashlynn follow Willow inside, but my brother waits back for me. “You look like you’re trying to solve world hunger over here,” he says. “Everything all right?”

I let out a heavy sigh. “I’m fine.”

“I don’t believe you, but we can talk later.” He pats his stomach. “I’m starving and can’t offer sage big brother wisdom on an empty stomach.”

***

“ Well, it’s still early, but we just wanted to let everyone know…” Willow glances at Dallas, fighting to contain her smile. “We’re having another baby!”

The dining room erupts as my siblings and mother all shout their congratulations. I glance at Gage beside me, curious to see his reaction.

His smile is sincere, but it doesn’t fully reach his eyes, like there’s a limit to how much he’s willing to show.

“Congratulations, you two.” I lean across the table and place my hand on top of Willow’s.

“Thank you. We actually found out the day you announced you were getting married, but…”

“She didn’t want to steal your thunder,” Astrid finishes for her.

“No thunder has been stolen,” I assure her.

“This means I’m not going to be able to drink at the bachelorette party,” Willow says across the table to Cashlynn. “But that just means I can be the designated driver.”

Cashlynn smiles. “As long as you’re feeling up to it.”

I raise a hand in the air. “Please do, because I, for one, really need a night out.”

Gage raises his eyebrows. “Oh yeah? When exactly is this night out happening?”

“Next weekend,” Parker answers. “And the weekend after that, the boys are going to Blossom Peak for a fishing trip. That includes you, Gage.”

Gage glances at me. “Uh…”

“I’m not taking no for an answer,” Parker cuts in. “Besides, we deserve to let loose too.”

I can tell that Gage feels uncomfortable, so I reach under the table and squeeze his thigh. “You’re part of the family now, remember?”

Gag e sighs. “Well, I’m putting it out there now—I may be a pro at cornhole, but I can’t catch a fish for shit.”

Parker laughs. “Not a problem. We bring real food so we don’t starve.”

“Then count me in.”

Astrid looks at me and raises her eyebrows. “Does that mean Gage is going to help build Michael’s jungle gym next weekend while we girls have our day?”

I look at Dallas. “You guys are building him a playset?”

He nods. “Yeah. He’s climbing everything in sight, and we have the space.

I’d rather him climb a jungle gym than the walls.

But we could use another set of hands.” He peers around me to Gage.

“You busy next weekend?”“I have an appointment with a client in the afternoon, but my morning is free. I could definitely stop by for a few hours.”

Dallas nods. “Any help is appreciated.”

I turn to Gage. “Thank you.”

He leans in and presses a kiss to my cheek, catching me off guard. “That’s what husbands are for, right?”

I’m so stunned, I freeze for a moment.

When I turn back to my plate, I can feel everyone’s eyes on us, but I don’t look up. How the hell am I supposed to explain that when I don’t even understand it myself?

Dallas, ever the instigator, seizes the moment. “Well, if you want to help some more, you could play on my team for the Carrington Cove Games in September,” he says.

I snap my head in his direction so fast I nearly give myself whiplash. “No way! You can’t recruit my husband!”

He shrugs. “Why not? I mean, it’s not like y’all are actually together.”

Gag e clears his throat. “No offense, Dallas, but if I’m going to play in those ridiculous games, it’s going to be with my wife.”