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Chapter twenty-three

Hazel

“You sure you don’t want anything to eat?” my mother asks me from the kitchen.

I’m sitting on her sofa, staring at the TV, but I have no idea what I’m watching. My mind feels like mashed potatoes, which are one of my favorite foods, but even that doesn’t sound good right now.

Nothing does—except being wrapped up in Gage’s arms.

“I’m not hungry.”

My mother sits down beside me. “You need to eat, honey.”

Another tear slips down my cheek. Yup, I’m still crying after three days. “I can’t. I literally have no desire to eat.”

She pulls me into her chest and sighs. “God, I hate to do this to you right now, but there’s something I need to tell you, and I don’t want you to get upset with me.”

Lifting from her embrace, I swipe under my eyes. “What do you mean?”

She stands from the couch and goes over to the mantle where family pictures in frames cover the surface.

Grabbing one of the frames from the shelf, she turns it around, unclasps the back, and pulls out a stack of pink envelopes much like the ones Gage and I have been receiving from Diane for the past three and a half months.

I cover my mouth with my hand. “Oh my god.”

“I had every intention of telling you once the six months were up, but given how things have changed, I couldn’t keep this secret anymore.” She hands me one of the envelopes. “I was a bit behind getting this one to you two because of the wedding, but here. Maybe there’s a pearl of wisdom in there.”

I stare down at the envelope in her hands. “You knew about all of this? You knew Diane’s plan?”

She shakes her head. “Actually, no. But I can tell you more about that in a minute.” She holds the envelope out to me. “Here, take this one, honey.”

I unfold the paper and see Diane’s familiar script.

Gage and Hazel,

Happy three-month anniversary! You’re halfway through this journey now and one step closer to becoming millionaires.

Yes, I know that you’re doing this for the money. But my hope is that you’re learning much more about yourselves and each other in this process—so much so that you’ve forgotten about your impending fortune.

For this task, I want you to do something simple. I want each of you to pick 3 photos from your time together so far, one for each month you’ve been married.

You’re going to share why you picked them, how you felt in that moment, and why it was an important moment for you.

That’s it. I just want you to look back on your time together so that maybe you can realize how much time you still have l eft.

Life is precious, you two. Nothing we ever do is a waste of time. Every moment, every person is a piece of us that we carry through our life.

I only hope that you two will choose to carry each other together through the rest of yours.

Love,

Diane

When I look at my mother, I can see that she’s crying as well. “God, the woman had a way with words, didn’t she?”

“Yeah.” I lean back into the couch cushion and stare at the TV again, letting the tears continue to fall down my cheeks. “Too bad Gage doesn’t want to be a part of this anymore.”

“Do you honestly think that?”

I turn to her again. “He left, Mom. And I haven’t heard from him since.”

“I think he’s just scared. You scare him.”

“Well, running away from me doesn’t change any of that. You know, Dad said that I should be with a rule breaker, but I’m beginning to think that men are nothing but heartbreakers.”

My mother laughs. “That sounds like something your father would have said.”

I sniffle and wipe under my eyes again. “God, I wish he were here.”

“Me too, baby.” My mother reaches for the stack of envelopes again and hands me another one. “But at least he left you this instead.”

I have to blink a few times before her words register. “Wait. This is from…”

My mother nods, tears in her eyes. “Him, sweetie. Your dad wrote you a letter too.”

My eyes fall to the pink envelope. “How?”

The sigh my mom lets out is so heavy that I brace myself for what she’s about to say.

“You know, I thought your father let me in on all of his se crets before he died, but apparently there was one that he kept. I’ve fought with him in my mind about it since I found out about Diane’s will and this marriage.

But honestly, knowing your father and myself, I can see why he didn’t tell me about the arrangement with Diane. ”

“What do you mean?”

“Diane got your father’s permission for Gage to marry you before she made her will, honey. Your father agreed to let her make the marriage a stipulation of the inheritance.”

My mouth drops open. “Oh my God.”“I know.” She throws her hands up.

“I can barely believe it myself. But after thinking about it, I get why.” She cups the side of my face.

“Your father knew that your romantic heart would be willing to risk hurt to see the potential on the other side of this. But me? The realist? I would have never agreed to this back then.”

“When did they arrange this?”

“Apparently a year before your father was diagnosed with his cancer, right after Diane’s COPD diagnosis.

Little did we know that he would die before her.

He was supposed to deliver the letters, so I was gifted that responsibility.

Once you and Gage got married, Timothy called me down to his office and explained the entire thing. ”

“I can’t believe this.”

“You and me both, sweetie. But your father never did anything that he didn’t believe in, even arguing with Dallas about joining the Marines. He always wanted what was best for his kids. Even if he ended up being wrong, his heart was always in the right place.”

“So he honestly thought that an arranged marriage would be good for me?”

“It killed your dad every time that you got hurt in love. He wanted to give you every opportunity to find your person, and when Diane explai ned Gage’s circumstances to him, he knew that even if you two didn’t fall in love, that you would be someone he could lean on when Diane died.

He knew what it felt like to be alone, to feel like no one understood you.

Your father fought demons throughout his life that no human should have to face.

So, he wanted you to help Gage not end up like him as well. He knew your heart wouldn’t let him.”

I can barely see my mother through my tears. “I can’t believe this.”

My mother holds up a pink envelope that’s been handled much more than the others. “Well, I got a letter too.”

We share a laugh. “Dad and his damn letters,” I say, staring down at the one in my hand.

“Yes, he had a way with words as well. Now, I have no idea what yours says, but just know that I’m here for you if you need to talk about it.”

I lunge at my mom, sobbing into her shoulder. “I love you, Mom.”

“Oh, I love you too, Hazel. You have no idea how much I love all of my children. You will be okay, no matter what happens with Gage, all right?”

I nod against her. “I know…because I have you.”

***

Sitting at the top of the lighthouse, holding a letter from my dad, feels like the past and future coming together at full force.

There was a time when he would be sitting here with me, holding my hand as I navigate yet another heartbreak. And for this one, I wish he were here now more than ever.

At least I have his words, which might as well be the next best thing.

I u nfold the stack of papers in front of me and brace myself for what he has to say.

Hazelnut,

Don’t panic. I know you must have so many questions, and I hope that I can answer them for you even though I’m not physically there.

First, I love you. My daughter, you are one of the best things I have ever created and nurtured in my life. Your drive, your heart, your capacity for love—I hope you never lose sight of the amazing human that you are and how everyone who knows you is better because you are in their life.

Now, about this marriage. Yeah, I’m sure you are wondering how I, your father who loves romantic movies as much as you, would ever agree to an arranged marriage for my daughter.

Well, the simple answer is that even if it blew up in our faces, Diane and I knew you and Gage would be set financially for life.

But the not-so-simple answer is that sometimes your soul knows something that you can’t explain.

Diane and I actually became friends when I ventured to the lighthouse for the very first time.

It was after Dallas left for his first deployment and I was worried sick about him—how it would change him, how he might not come back alive.

Diane was sitting on the beach right below the lighthouse, staring out at the ocean with her own worries and we just started talking.

Turns out, she just found out her brother was diagnosed with a heart condition, and she was scared about what it would mean for his son, her nephew, if he died.

From then on, we would cross paths every now and again and as her health got worse, your mom and I would help her when we could.

When she received her COPD diagnosis, she was terrified of what it would mean leaving Gage behind, especially after her brother died unexpectedly. And by that point, you had already formed a bond with her as her photographer.

Well, that’s when she approached me with a crazy idea, and said she would only go through with it if I agreed. All I knew was that if she and I could bring two people together that needed one another in ways we couldn’t be there for anymore, then it was worth a shot.

And yes, I know that Gage could potentially have a heart condition like his father, but I know that even if he does, that would never stop my girl from loving him if he was the person meant for her.

So, I hope you understand that my intention was never to play God with your life. It was to give you a chance at one you’ve always wanted. Because even if the marriage didn’t work out, you’d have money to do whatever you wanted to.

But I know in my heart that your heart is not meant to travel this life alone, Hazelnut. You are a lover in every sense of the word—because love is showing up for people, even when it’s hard.

It’s finding humor in pain, and joy in sadness. It’s seeing people at their worst and accepting them anyway.

You have given me the kind of love and admiration that a father and man could only dream of, and some day, another man will be lucky enough to receive that from you too.

I love you, my dearest daughter, with all of my heart. And I will always be with you.

Just look for the hummingbirds and know that I am there.

Dad

By the time I’m done reading, I’m sobbing so hard that I can barely breathe, collapsing to the floor and holding the paper to my chest, like I’m hanging on to the only man that has ever loved me as fiercely as I wish another could.

But when I wake up in the morning after crying myself to sleep, I almost wonder if I’m still dreaming.

Because when I open my eyes, I’m in my husband’s arms.