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I can feel the tears just behind my eyes.

But they don’t come.

Because I meant what I said in that room.

I’m done .

Being a hopeless romantic doesn’t guarantee you love. In fact, it just might mean the opposite.

And for the first time in my life, I think I’m finally accepting that love just isn’t meant for me.

***

“Do you need anything else before I go?” I ask as I pack up my camera bag .

Diane settles into her rocker, adjusting the oxygen tubes on her face. “No, dear. But you know you can’t leave without having a cup of tea.” She gestures toward the couch beside her, where I left her mug, steam still curling from the surface.

I glance down at my watch. All I have left to do is edit this afternoon, but I’m almost done, so it can wait. And Diane is right—our tea tradition can’t. “Sure, I guess I can spare you a few minutes of my time,” I say with a wink.

She winks back at me as I take my seat. “Well, aren’t I the lucky one?”

“Don’t you ever forget it either.” Just then, Diane’s French Bulldog, Blueberry, comes barreling through his dog door and launches onto the couch, his pink cape flowing behind him. “Welcome back, handsome man! Did you take care of business?” I scoop him up onto my lap, as he showers me with kisses.

“His routine is pretty predictable these days,” Diane says, gazing lovingly at her pup.

Years ago, when I was just starting my photography business, Diane reached out to see if I would be interested in photographing her dog.

At the time, I didn’t turn down any type of work, so I agreed, of course.

From then on, we set up regular appointments, documenting half-birthdays, all major holidays, and any other excuse Diane could come up with for me to take her dog’s picture and dress him up in the latest adorable outfit she found on Etsy.

But along the way, between snapping photos of Blueberry in tiny sweaters and superhero capes, Diane became a friend.

Having never married or had kids of her own, Blueberry is her family, her fur baby and pride and joy, and the glue that solidified our friendship.

When she was diagnosed with COPD, I made sure to check on her regularly, help her with errands, cook her dinner a few nights a month, and help take Blueberry to the Carrington Cove Animal Hospital for his appointments, which just happens to be where my older brother, Parker, works as a vet.

I know she’s much older than me, but in a way, we’re kindred spirits—independent, sassy, and confident.

“He’s one lucky pup.” I stroke the top of his head as he finally begins to settle in my lap.

“I don’t know what I would do without that dog.” Diane barks out a cough, reminding us both that her health is declining with each passing day.

“Maybe I need to get a dog,” I say, trying not to address the elephant in the room. “Since I’m swearing off men, perhaps I just need a fur-boyfriend instead.”

Diane lifts a brow. “Well, that’s one way to phrase it. Just don’t say it in public.”

I chuckle as I lean back on the couch. “Noted.”

“So you’re swearing off men?”

“Oh yeah. After last week, I can officially say the dating world and I have called it quits.”

“It’s such a shame my nephew doesn’t live closer… I know you two would hit it off.”

I hold up my hand and roll my eyes simultaneously. “Diane, we’ve been over this. I know you think he can walk on water, but I’m telling you, I’m done. I have plenty of silicone toys to last me a lifetime, and my business keeps me busy. Love is overrated anyway, don’t you think?”

Diane has been single most of her life. She told me the story of how she was engaged once but called it off at the last minute because it just didn’t feel right.

Lo and behold, her fiancé was cheating with a woman a few towns over, and she found out when the doctor’s office called her phone instead of his with an urgent message.

Turns out, the call was about his STD test results.

Luckily, Diane was in the clear, but it just goes to show you that you can stand at the edge of forever with someone and still realize you never really knew them at all.

And her gut saved her from making one of the biggest mistakes of her life.

I can’t help but feel that my gut is doing the same for me.

“No man is perfect, Hazel, but Gage is hardworking and has a creative soul like you. His sense of humor actually reminds me a lot of yours, although lately, due to his—”

My phone rings in my purse, interrupting her. Scrambling to answer it, I say, “I’m sorry, Diane. Hold that thought.”

“No worries, dear. Nowadays, it’s almost weird if a phone doesn’t interrupt a conversation.” Her smile is genuine, so I know she’s truly not bothered by it.

When I see that it’s Laney, I wait for the call to end, then shoot her a quick text to let her know I’ll call her back shortly.

“Now, where were we?” I look up to see that Diane has started to fall asleep in her chair, with Blueberry now curled up in her lap. Standing from the couch, I grab the blanket off the back and drape it over the two of them, making sure to keep Blueberry’s face exposed.

“I’m gonna take off,” I whisper.

“Okay, dear. Thank you, as always.”

“My pleasure, Diane.” I lean down and kiss her forehead, hesitantly reminding myself that each time I see her could be the last.

Because when you’ve lost people, you start thinking like this—wondering if this time will be the last. Each last is your last before you ever realize it. And then when it hits you, the finality of the moment can make it feel like it’s almost too hard to breathe .

“See you on Tuesday,” I whisper, gently pulling the front door shut behind me.

I slide into my car, tossing my bag into the passenger seat before sinking into the driver’s seat with a sigh.

As I pull onto the road, I tap my screen to call Laney back.

“Hey girl!” Laney’s cheery voice bursts through the speakers, instantly lifting my mood.

“What’s up? Sorry I couldn’t answer. I was with Diane.”

“No worries. I just wanted details about your date the other night. You never called me, so I wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad sign, you know?”

I let out another sigh. “Oh, Jesus. It was definitely not good. But in the chaos of Willow going into labor and giving birth to Michael, I totally spaced on calling you back.”

“Oh, don’t even worry about it. I totally understand. And, a new little baby to love on? Congrats, auntie! Being an aunt is the best.”

“Thank you. He’s adorable and hopefully will never treat a woman the way that asshole Derek treated me.”

Laney clears her throat. “Well, spill then. Tell me everything.”

I spend the next several minutes of my drive home recounting the horrendous details of my date.

“Okay, I don’t blame you for giving up on men after that one,” she says.

“Right?”

Now it’s her turn to sigh. “God, why can’t they all be like Hummingbird Guy?”

“Ah, yes…the elusive Hummingbird Guy. I mean, he barely said more than a few sentences to me, but I was already picking out China patterns. ”

Laney and I share a laugh as I bring up my stranger from over a month ago for the thousandth time. The truth is, the brief encounter plays on a loop in my mind..

“Don’t feel too bad. We don’t have men like that here in my little town either. But a girl can hope, right?”

Laney lives in Blossom Peak, a small town in the North Carolina mountains, about a seven-hour drive from Carrington Cove.

Our mountains might not be as vast as the ones they have out west, but they hold a different kind of magic—the kind that makes you forget where you came from and wonder if you ever want to go back.

A few years ago, Laney reached out to me in need of professional photos for her salon, Blossom Beauty, after she found my photography page on Instagram.

As a fellow business owner, I know the importance of the right pictures to portray a brand, so I took care of her and we hit it off instantly. We’ve remained friends ever since.

Every once in a while, I’ll leave town without telling anyone and go visit her small town, needing the escape from my own.

Not only do we share a love of good wine, 2000s rom-coms, and female empowerment, but she gets me.

We’re both single, both business owners, and both surrounded by married people who have forgotten what it’s like to be alone.

I love my friends here, and even though my brothers don’t deserve them, they’ve each married women that I’m proud to call my sisters-in-law. But they’re all so happy in their married life bliss bubbles, while I’m sitting on the outside looking in.

And Laney knows exactly how I feel.

“I still can’t get over him, though,” she says, bringing me back to our conversation and the man who made an impression on me faster than any man has in a long time .

“Girl, you and me both. But I’m almost convinced that I made him up, you know?” I exhale, drumming my fingers on the steering wheel. “I’ve never seen him again, the hummingbird he drew has long since been washed away, and the whole encounter sounds like something straight out of a romance novel.”

“Such a shame. He was tatted too, right?”

I swallow, my mouth watering as the mental image forms. “Oh yeah.”

Jet black hair, piercing green eyes, and fully tattooed arms, ink all the way down to his knuckles.

The scruff on his chin only added to his sex appeal, and how his rugged demeanor was contrasted by the delicate way he held my arm while he sketched a hummingbird on my skin.

He wore all black, but sitting across from him for those twenty minutes felt like being blinded by the sun.

It was the most surreal, out-of-body, orgasmic experience of my life—and then he was gone. Like it never happened.

And the part that unsettles me the most, the part that makes me unable to forget about him, is the hummingbird .

Only one person could know the importance of that.

And he’s not even alive anymore.

“Maybe it all was a dream,” Laney muses as I pull into my parking space in front of my apartment. “Maybe being perpetually single and going on strings of bad dates is making us hallucinate.”

“Uh, that doesn’t give me much hope, Laney.”

She laughs. “I know. Hope is overrated anyway.”

“Then let’s just vow to be single together.”

“Deal…especially given that Seth has pretty much scarred me for life.”

“I never met the guy, and I think I might hate him more than you do. ”

“He’s not worth the energy,” she says, referencing her ex. “Honestly, I think I knew deep down we weren’t meant to be. I just wish he hadn’t shaken my confidence so much.” She sighs. “But the truth is, he never made me feel anything like what I felt for Fletcher.”

“Ugh. Why do older brother’s best friends have to be so damn irritating and handsome at the same time?”

I think back to all the times I had a crush on my brothers’ friends and how many times I was just written off as the annoying little sister.

That is, until one did start to notice me.

After that, Penn and Dallas ensured none of their friends ever made that mistake again, threatening bodily harm to anyone who so much as looked in my direction.

Let’s just say that I didn’t have much of a dating life until they both moved out. Even though Parker was still around, he was so focused on school and his own girlfriend that he didn’t pay much attention to my dating life.

“Fletcher is beyond irritating, especially when I have to see his stupid face on the TV every damn weekend.”

“Being a professional football player has only made him cockier, huh?”

“Honestly? I wouldn’t know. I’ve been avoiding him every time he comes to town, which isn’t often, but still.

Judging by that smug smirk he’s perfected for the cameras, I’d say he hasn’t changed much.

But one of these days, we’re going to cross paths again and I’ll have to remind myself of how he truly feels about me so I don’t do anything stupid… again.”

“Well, I wish you luck with that.”

“Thank you. I’m gonna need it.”

“All right, I better let you go. I just got home and have to catch up on editing. If I don’t, I’m going to be drowning in work.”

“Life as a business owner never stops, right? ”

“Never,” I say, unlocking my front door. “But I love it.”

I can practically hear the smile in her voice. “Talk to you soon!”

“Bye, Laney.”

Once inside my apartment, I grab a glass of wine, change into my pajamas and “wine makes me less murdery” socks, and settle into my favorite spot on the couch.

I put my headphones on, push play on my latest romance audiobook, and get to work creating beautiful memories of other people’s love stories while quietly wondering if I’ll ever have one of my own.

Little did I know that Hummingbird guy and I would cross paths again, and when we did, I’d realize he wasn’t such a stranger after all.