Page 91 of Smoky Mountain Dreams

“Hell no. Mr. Fire-and-Brimstone would call it devil juiceand be a dumbass about it in front of my kids. Lucky for me, I’ve been doinghis yard work for him since his last mini heart attack, so he hasn’t steppedfoot in this shed in a year.” He unscrewed the top and took a hearty swallow. “Gottahave some way to survive this family, Christopher, or I’m gonna be on my thirddivorce, and I’ve gotsomepride still. Not tomention, I do love Jackie. She’s the best of the wives I’ve had.”

“As her brother, I gotta say that warms my heart, Joe. Soromantic.”

Joe passed the bottle and grinned. “Realistic, dude.Marriage isn’t all giggles, swooning bliss, and joy. It’s every goddamn day andsometimes it’s not all that fun. But I love her. She’s the one for me. More’nany other I’ve been with and that’s a fact. It’s why I’m here, right? Why Icome to this family shit-show and hold her hand through it all. Because she’smy babydoll.”

“Aw, and you just started drinking,” Christopher said, swallowinga hot, burning mouthful. “Makes me feel like you really do love her.”

“I do love her. But let’s get real: I’ve been drinking offand on since this morning. It takes a lot of alcohol to get through aThanksgiving with Bob and Sammie Mae. Holy crap those two could make anyonewant to reject the word of God just to not be associated with their likeanymore. What with their Jesus-this, and blessing-that, and ‘We don’t talkabout luck in this house, young man! Luck takes the glory from God where itbelongs!’ Your mom actually said that to Lee last time he was here because hesaid he’d made a lucky interception at his game.”

“Lucky Lee,” Christopher said, taking another sip, feelinghis nerves melt a little, smoothing his raw edges until they felt one with thewinter-brown world around him.

“Ain’t that so?” Joe chuckled and reached for the bottle. “It’sall I can do to hold on to my faith when I’m around them sometimes.”

“I hear you.” Christopher supposed he still believed, but itwas a moot point, really, when he didn’t think there was a church in Gatlinburgthat would truly want him. Maybe the one that Jesse had mentioned Tim and Novaattended. But the truth was, just going inside a church made him nauseous,reminding him too much of the fear and pain of the years of going to ChristLight. When he got the rare urge, he preferred to worship on his own, watchinga sunrise while sipping a cup of coffee, or just in the quiet of his mind.

“It was bad enough for Jackie, but I’ve always wondered—how’dyou get through high school with them, Christopher? You know, being queer andall? Did you dream of bludgeoning them in their sleep?”

Christopher smiled, but it hurt somewhere in his chest underthe nice fog the Southern Comfort had dropped over him. “No. I never wanted tohurt them. Sad thing is, I dreamed a lot more often of killingmyselfactually.”

Joe stopped mid-swig and brought the bottle down. “Dude…bro…I’mfucking glad you didn’t do that.” He slapped Christopher’s shoulder andsqueezed, and then dragged him in for a brief but strong hug before shoving himback. “You don’t still think like that, do you?”

“No. Not in a long time.”

“Never do that, Christopher. Call me. Or Jackie. Orjust…come to us. We’ll be there for you. Anytime, day or night. Jackie mightnot get it, you know, that being gay’s just the way some people are, but I do.And you’re welcome in our homeany time. And shelovesyou, bro. Just know she loves you. Okay?”

Christopher forced a laugh over the swell of emotion in histhroat. “Jesus Christ, Joe, I’m fine. Calm down.”

Joe studied him and then nodded, wiping his hand over theback of his mouth. “Okay.”

“But thanks…and I love you both too.”

“Cool.”

They shifted uncomfortably until Joe spoke again. “Youtalked to your father lately?” He tucked the whiskey bottle back into the shedand shut the door. The burn from the whiskey had really warmed him up, andChristopher felt his muscles unwind as he shook his head in answer to Joe’squestion.

“He’s leavin’ the church.”

Christopher’s brows shot up. “No shit?”

“No shit, dude. He’s apparently ‘seen the light’ accordingto him, and been ‘lured once more by the powers of Satan’ according to yourmother.”

“She’s bitter.”

“You’d think if she was so damn happy with Bob she’d let itgo; see it as God’s hand in her life or some other bullshit, but she’s just apissed off bitch about it.” Joe cleared his throat. “Uh, sorry. She’s your mom.I should shut the fuck up.”

“Go ahead. You’re family now. You get to say whatever youwant.”

Joe smirked. “Well, your dad was apparently banging thechoir director’s college-age daughter. A kid his latest wife used to babysit,dude. Anyway, the wife got wind of it, because fuck knows your dad’s no good athiding his affairs, and told the whole congregation about it. And they set aboutshamin’ both of ‘em to no end. Though the girl didn’t go to church there andhadn’t in years, they went and started holding prayer vigils for her souloutside her apartment in the Fort, holding signs about ‘Jesus forgives,’ andcrap about adultery.”

“Holy shit.”

“I know, right? Those people are motherfucking insane.”

“You’ve got a great mouth, Joe.” Christopher felt heat risefrom his whiskey-warm stomach to his cheeks. “I didn’t mean…fuck, I just meantyou cuss like a sailor.”

“Don’t worry about it, bro. I know I’m not your type. Youknow how I know that?”

“How?”